When My Mind is Uncertian, My Body Decides
by Ashesofthefirststar
Summary: Ichigo is lost after being forced to live in the soul society, wondering what could of been. When Rukia confesses her love and comes on to Ichigo, he finds him self wishing he could return her feelings. He soon finds him self out of his element when he spends a drunken night with Byakuya and realizes which Kuchiki he's truly attracted to. Byakuya X Ichigo
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey readers! A little back story, this takes place right after the 1000 year blood arc. If you're following the manga, then you know Ichigo may not be able to return to the living world once the war is over. Something about him being to powerful, I'm really unsure, but yeah, this is basically a story of what happens if he does have to stay in the soul society. This story is just a little side project, I'm spending most of my time writing my main story and planning the sequel. That being said, this story will be much shorter. It'll probably only have seven chapters at most, each which will be pretty short.**

 **Good vibes!**

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 _"I don't need your love,_

 _I just need a friend." -El Vy "need a friend."_

 **Apathy**

Ichigo sat deep in thought, glaring past his chatty companions. Rukia and Renji were laughing and joking in-between bites of their meal, about what Ichigo was unsure. Admittedly, he didn't care, his mind was elsewhere.

Three weeks had passed since his inauguration into the Gotie Thirteen, now he was not just a full fledged soul reaper, but the captain of the eight division. At first, things were so chaotic that the new captain barely had time to adjust to his new life, everyday was simply going through the motions, and trying to stay above water, which was harder said than done. Ichigo was fresh to this whole leadership role, and found that his youth and somewhat rash nature didn't make the job any easier. Yes, Ichigo was surely a natural born protecter, but he'd always chosen to take that burden on him self, always ahead of the pack instead of falling in line, people just tended to follow him. That was the aura he gave off, one that people believed in and followed behind, having no doubt it would lead to greatness. Despite Ichigo emitting this aura of a natural leader, he'd never been in the position of giving demands and following rules. In fact, the reason he and his team in the living world worked so well together was because of how comfortable they were with each other, and because each individual's competence. Most of the time, when Uryu or Chad were helping Ichigo save the world, they were doing their own thing, always backing up Ichigo without needing his instruction. So, this was different. Now a whole division counted on his ability to make the best decisions for all of them, not just him self.

The pressure was stifling, and seemed to consume all of his thoughts. Though, after some time passed, and Ichgio began adapting, his thoughts became fixated on a much bleaker matter. While the young man was still in the world of the living, he took no matter to the future. He constantly obsessed over the protection of his friends and family that everything else had fallen to the sidelines. Never did he think of what kind of future he would have or the things he may have one day wanted out of life, he was single minded in his determination to protect. It wasn't until it was to late that Ichigo started wondering what life he could of possibly had, what things he would have wanted if he was still in the living world, what person he may have became.

Maybe he would of been a doctor, or possibly a teacher, it was anyones guess now. He had always thought it would be cool to visit another country, he wondered which one he might have wanted to go visit, if only he had thought about things like that more. Now thoughts like that seemed worthless, what was the point of even considering such things when he could never have them. Now he no possibilities besides a future with the Gotie, his whole life's worth would go into the protection of the soul society. Not that he minded, but not having the choice to do _anything_ else with his life was leaving him to feel a great hiraeth, only made worse by an accompanied emptiness. It seemed as if he didn't feel like he truly belonged in this world. Ironically enough, Ichigo always thought he had an ethereal aura of him in the living world, never truly belonging, yet he didn't seem to quite belong here either. This made him feel a sting of indifference towards most everything, giving everything a gray film over it.

One thought he couldn't evade was knowing he'd probably never have a normal family of his own. Something he'd never even considered in the living world. It wasn't as if souls couldn't get married or have children in this world, although, with the constant fighting, and the protection of the soul society at top priority, most members of the Gotie didn't have much time for those things. Besides, even if they did, it wasn't as if this was a normal way to bring up a family. Still, it made him think about what it may have been like to have those things. What kind of person he would of been attracted to, what kind of husband or father he may have one day been. Before, he never wanted any of that, or at least he never thought about it, it was always just something he figured would happen one day. As they say, you don't truly realize what you had until it's gone. Now that it was no longer an option, he found him self pinning for the human life he once rejected in all forms.

Not to mention his friends and family, he missed them greatly. Sure, they came and visited, his sisters and father more than most, but it wasn't the same. They all had their own lives in the human word to attend to, sooner or later, he knew the visit would become less frequent as they grew numb to his missing presence. All the things he had taken for granted previously, the smell of his sister's home cooked meals as he returned home, exterminating hallows with his fiends, he now yearned for those simplicities. Now, they seemed like fading memories from a dream, the thoughts of a person who no longer existed.

"Hey, strawberry," Renji snapped his fingers in front of Ichigo's glazed over eyes. "Drink up before your beer get's lukewarm, I fucking spent money on that, ya know."

With an equally offend scowl, Rukia added,"yeah, and you're being ruder than usual, Ichigo. Gz, you can at least pretend to enjoy your self."

Ichigo looked down at his beer begrudgingly. He wasn't legally allowed to drink in the living world, and with his priorities, he missed out on the rebellious teenager stage of his life. Yet, in the soul society, they didn't check I.D for obvious reasons. Because of this, Ichigo still wasn't use to the taste of alcohol or the pace of which his comrades could down a beer. Picking his beer up, before downing it he muffled out, "I have a feeling I'm going to be needing to drink a lot of these to keep my sanity, better get use to it now."

Renji gave a half hearted smile,"..erm..thats the..spirit, I guess," he stammered, watching his orange haired friend chug the beer before slamming down the empty bottle.

Ichigo let out a belch before wiping his mouth and declaring,"I need another."

After giving Renji a sideways glance, she turned her concerned eyes back on Ichgio. "Um, Ichigo, are you okay? You seem a little..cranky."

Putting on an obviously counterfeit smile, Ichigo retorted,"Fucking peachy, but ya know what would make be better, another beer." Ichigo knew he was being extremely unpleasant and unnecessarily sarcastic, and not in the playful way, yet he couldn't seem to stop him self. It flowed out of him like word vomit, unable to bite back his snark. For his agitation was to great of late, and he was unfairly taking it out on his friends, friends who had been so kind to him since his arrival.

"If you don't chill with that fucking attitude, getting drunk will be the least of your worries." Popping his knuckles in an intimidating manner, Renji speculated, "maybe a good fight will help you blow off some stem, but don't take it out on Rukia."

Before Ichigo could reply, Rukia waved her hand dismissively,"I don't need you standing up for me, gzz." Now turning her intense glare on Ichigo,"And you, forget Renji, if you don't tell me what's bothering you, you'll have to fight me."

"Or she'll make you sit for an hour as she shows you her horrible fucking drawings," Renji teased, earning him a smack from the tiny soul reaper.

This actually made Ichigo smirked slightly, through his internal plight and indifference, he forgot how much he enjoyed his friends company. Surely he was depressed, and he didn't feel like like putting that on his friends was fair, but maybe if he talked about it, maybe it would help with some of the emptiness.

Grimacing slightly, Ichigo said, "I don't know, I guess I'm just missing the living world more than I thought I would." He shook his head slightly, "It's funny, I was never really an active part of life when I was in the living world..but now.." His words trailed off to a whisper as he adverted his eyes, ending the sentence with a slight scowl.

Immediately, Rukia spoke up. "We get it, Ichigo, they call this the after life for a reason. I'm sure you wanted to live a fuller life before this happened, and you always thought you had time. It's kind of like dying young, right? Unexpectedly, your life ends in a flash, and now everything you wanted to do is out of reach."

Smirking slightly, Ichigo said sarcastically while he rolled his eyes, "You're making me feel _so_ much better.

"If you let me finish!" Rukia boomed out before continuing. "I get it, I died as a baby, I had no life before this..but trust me, it get's better and you'll realize you can have a life here." She paused and spoke more coyly and blushed slightly."You'd be surprised just how many things you can have here that you could have in the living world."

"Yeah," Renji interjected. "Like friends who pay for your meals and beer, broke ass." The spiky haired man gave a slight scowl,"Come on, it cant be that bad being here with us."

Ichigo shook his head in disagreement. "Nah, it's not that. It's just…there were things in life I wanted to do that I didn't even know I wanted before." He stared off for a moment, he thought about saying more but bite his tongue, not wanting to come off as weak or whiny.

His trance was broken by Renji's unusually serious voice."Well, would you have changed anything?"

Ichigo looked down pensively. Renji's words seemed to put somethings into perspective. No, he wouldn't of changed anything. If he could go back to the day he received his powers, he would make the same decision every time. This was the consequence of the choices he made, and despite wishing things had ended differently, Ichigo was at peace with the decisions he had to make.

"No, I wouldn't, I just wish it played out differently," he responded honestly, noting his friends somber faces, he tired to lighten the mood, "Eh, but it's not all bad, I get to kick your ass as much as I want now."

Putting on a challenging smile, Renji declared, "Yeah, we'll see who gets their ass handed to them.

Putting her face in her palm, Rukia reminded,"Guys, were all on the same team. Is that all you two care about? It's always one giant pissing contest between you two." At her friends snickers and teasing, Rukia sighed while taking note of the clock on the wall.

Tapping Renji on the shoulder, she gestured towards the clock on the wall. "Oh shit," Renji scowled. "I almost forgot, I have to go back to the division, I have ton's of the captain's paperwork to do." Renji mumbled something about his captain being a lazy ass, which earned death looks from Rukia and mocking comments about how Byakuya had Renji on a tight rope, from Ichigo.

After Renji left, Ichigo and Rukia took their time walking back to the Kuchiki manner. The new captain enjoyed the company and the breezy conversation. He always enjoyed how simple things were between the two of them, their relationship flowed like the tide. Ichigo had a connection to Rukia that most couldn't understand, he himself didn't even get it. It was like a familiar warmness, comforting and easy, like with family, yet some how deeper. It was to be expected, considering she was the reason behind his power. Still stuck in his inner plight, he enjoyed the company and the usual laughter shared between the two, he found him self grateful for her presence in his life, sure that having her there would make this transition much easier.

Entering the Kukichiki manner, the pair walked through long labyrinth like corridors. Looking around the dimly lighted hallways, he jumped slightly every time he'd see a servant.

Giving the boy a bewildered look, she took note of his peculiar behavior. "What are you doing?" she asked flatly.

Looking around his shoulder, Ichigo said just above a whisper, "I'm scared Byakuya's going to come jumping out like a fucking vampire or something, gezz this house is huge."

Smacking her gums, she rolled her eyes at the man before turning her attention back towards the hall in front of her. "Don't talk about Ni-sam like he's some kind of demonic creature or something."

Smirking slightly, Ichigo teased,"Wait, so Byakuya isnt the devil?" This earned him a stern look and a back hand from his tiny, yet strong, friend. "Ahh, god-I was just kidding. I'm just worried, you're brother treats me like a fucking virus that needs cleaning, and I'm sure he'd be so thrilled seeing me alone in his sisters bed room." He muttered under his breath,"Gz, if he cached me, he'd have my balls on a platter."

Not missing a beat, Rukia quipped, "What balls? I haven't seen them." She gave the man a huge grin, now turning to a door way.

"Ha-very funny. It's a exspession, Rukia," he replied, now entering the girl's room.

Rukia had a room at the Kuchiki manner, but she also had one at her squad barracks. She often stayed at the barracks because of work keeping her late, but when she had company, she often brought them to the mansion."Yeah, brother would much more likely put your head on a stick." She tapped her chin lightly, pretending to be deep in thought. "Yeah, that sounds more like his style. He's not sick or something, he's not into genital mutilation."

Ichigo gulped nervously at the idea of an altercation with Byakuya, though he knew he was strong enough to deal with him physically, that man was extremely powerful and influential. Getting on his bad side would only hinder Ichigo's transition into the soul society."You should be a motivational speaker, Rukia." Ichigo sat on the edge of her bed, flinging him self backwards in exasperation.

"Relax." She said, now taking a seat beside him. "First off, this mansion his huge, you could both walk around here for hours and never run into each other. Secondly, it's not like I didn't stay in your bedroom for months at a time."

Ichigo's eye's widened with shock as he sat up. "Please tell me he doesn't know about that!"

Chuckling slightly, Rukia responded, "Not directly, but I'm sure he assumed. It doesn't matter anyway, Byakuay doesn't get involved in those aspects of my life."

Now returning to his laying position, Ichigo countered, "No brother wants his sister alone with some guy, not in their bed room. Plus, it doesn't help that Byakuay all but hates me.

Rukia shook her head back in froth while rolling her eyes. "You really know nothing, Byakuya actually respects you quite a bit, he just has a hard time showing gratification." She paused momentarily, looking at Ichigo's honey orbs, which were now dawning a slight look of surprise. "You just have to know him, I know he's like a stone wall when it comes to emotions, but he's more complex than that. He thinks highly of you, ya know? He just can't admit it, but if you took the time to see past those walls, you'd see it too."

Ichigo rolled his eyes in response. "He has to want to get to know me."

Rukia just shook her head. "He more complex than that, he doesn't want to get to know anyone, he just doesn't like to get close to anyone, someone has to push him into it, like I did. It took time, and even now he can be totally glacier like, but he's a pretty amazing guy, ya know? It's worth the work it takes to get close to him."

Ichigo silently contemplated her words. For unknown reasons, he found himself feeling a slight warmness at the idea of Byakuya being proud of him. He wasn't sure why, maybe it was because Byakuya was such a hard guy to impress, but that one praise made him feel a tinge of fire within him. Of the abundance of praises Ichigo had received since his arrival, non had penetrated his cain link armor of apathy, non but this one. It almost made him want to get to know the guy, knowing that Byakuya wasn't all hate, and disgust when it came to him. The man had always been such an enigma, it almost seemed like a challenge, getting under his skin, getting to know him. The thought tantalized the man, it was the first idea that didn't immediately bore him, if anything, it was compelling.

The pair sat in silence for a while as Rukia read a manga and Ichigo stared out the window thoughtfully. Fo a while, he could feel Rukia's gaze on him, yet he didn't pay much attention, once again lost in his thoughts. Suddenly, Rukia shut her book firmly, and let out a slight sight. "Ichigo," she said meekly. "What are you thinking about?"

Swinging his stare in her direction, the boy hesitated, caught off gaurd by the question. "Oh-um, I was just thinking about how my sisters were doing right now," he responded, adverting his nostalgic eyes briefly.

This seemed to sadden Rukia, as her whole demeanor slumped. "Ichigo..," she muttered out. "Is being here really that bad..isnt there something..?" She adverted her eyes while blushing slightly. "Isn't there something that makes it a little easier?"

Taking in the girl's nervous and sheepish demeanor, the aloof Ichigo gave her an confused look. "Well yeah..you..and Renji, and all the soul reapers, but..I don't know, theres still a hole there.

Rukia clenched her eyes and fist tightly, building up all the courage she had, she stood up abruptly. She boomed out, quickly, yet loudly, "I want to help you fill that void, if you let me!"

"Rukia, what-" the confused Ichigo was cut off by the girl climbing on top of him, straddling his waist. He was so shocked that he merely laid there paralyzed, completely flustered.

Now looking more confident, Rukia looked down with a mix of lust and nervousness. "Ichigo..like I said earlier, there are things you can have here just like in the living world..I didn't mean to surprise you like this, I just..didnt want to lose my resolve." She took in the confused, yet curious face, she couldn't help but falter at how handsome he was in the dim lighting of her bed room. "I just…I've been in love with you for a long time, I guess I just didn't realize it, or maybe I didn't think it was possible for us to be together…but, when I heard you were going to be living in the soul society, I thought that this could be our chance." She bit her lip before continuing. "We've always had this strong connection, you feel it too..,,right?"

For whatever reason, Ichigo's face could not emote any other emotion other than shock. This was something he could not of seen coming from a mile a way..right? Maybe he was just that dense, And did he feel their connection too? Of course, he felt it clearly. Although, was it romantic? He never thought of it that way, when he woe-ing over the prospects of never having a normal family, he never once thought of Rukia. When he was thinking of the type of person he'd end up with, Rukia never once crossed his mind. When they were around each other, it felt more like a warm hug rather than a-house-on-fire, her presence was equated with comfort, not lust. However, Ichigo had never had those feeling for anyone, he was unsure of what they felt like or how one even gets them. At this point, he was unsure if he could even feel such things. Maybe what he felt for Rukia was romantic, or the beginning stages of romance, maybe if he tried..

He thought back to his fears of never having this, never finding someone to love and have a normal life with. Face to face with such a deep limerence, Ichigo couldn't help but to consider the possibility. Maybe these feelings could develop, maybe there was more than he thought.

Seeing the hesitance on the boys face, she spoke for him. "I know you may not know how to feel about this, just…try.." She leaned in to kiss the boy, seeing that he didn't look repulsed or extremely hesitant, she continued.

She kissed the boy for quite some time, bring his hand up the her chest, signaling him to touch her more. The young man was a fish out of water, all of his movements were tense and awkward, the opposite of lust filled. Still, he tried. That was until Rukia unzipped his pants and began rubbing his member. For a brief moment, he became half hard, but in the complete uncomfortableness of the moment, he lost it.

Rukia took Ichigo's lack of response for complete disinterest, and to a certain extent, she was right. Yes, he was trying, but for what ever reason, he just didn't enjoy it. A red hue filled her face as she immediately jumped off of him, turning away feeling completely humiliated.

Eye's widening, Ichigo jumped up and buttoned his pants, preparing to cajole his long time friend. "Rukia, I'm sorry- I don't know why-

His franticness was cut off by Rukia's cold serious words. "It's fine, could you just leave. This is kind of humiliating, and I'd really like to be alone."

Ichigo went to say something else, but cut him self off. He simply walked to the door and said, "I'm sorry," before leaving the room.

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Ichigo had found him self at a complete lose while trying to maneuver through the Kuchiki mansion. One needed a map and a tour guid just to exist the estate. Ichigo finally made his way out of an exist that lead to Byakuya's garden. Feeling drained and rather conflicted with him self, Ichigo decided to take a time out. Figuring he'd have a better chance of finding his way out once he cleared his head.

Sitting under a sakura tree, right beside the water line of a rather large pond, Ichigo stared off pensively. What was that early? His body completely failed him, he found no interest at all. Despite his brain telling him he wanted to try, his body just wasn't having it. He supposed that what he felt for Rukia was purely platonic after all. Apart of Ichigo felt defected, why couldn't he feel that way for anyone, not even the person he was the closest with? Perhaps, he just wasn't meant to have that in his life.

Interrupting his inner plight was a deep familiar voice,"Kurosaki, what are you doing here?"

The serious voice made Ichigo jump slightly, swinging his head around to see Byakuya Kuchiki standing in a deep purple yukata with a golden coy fish pattern. His face looking much to serious for how beautiful he was. "Shit-" Ichigo gasped out, putting a hand up to his chest urgently. "You scared me, Byakuya."

With a stone face, the man spoke flatly, "Well, this is _my_ garden, and didn't I tell you to call me Captain Kuchiki?"

Ichigo gave a breathy scoff while standing, still keeping his attention towards the pond. "We've know each other for a long time now, arnt we pass that formal crap?"

"I'm sorry, I must have entered into some alternate dimension where you believe your self to be my equal," Byakuya responded just as flatly as before.

Though it was meant to be harsh and off putting, If Ichigo had of been in a better mood, he probably would have appreciated the man's sarcasm. For some unknown reason, he found it enjoyable, although, he'd enjoy it more if his sarcasm was more good humored and less malice filled. Though, for the moment, Ichigo was beside him self with internal conflict, he didn't feel like getting berated by Byakuya.

Shaking his head in defeat, he let out a more pronounced scoff, "What is it with you, anyway? Being equals has nothing to do with money or status, it's about the person you are and what you do in this world."

Byakuya's features gapped at the unexpected response, Ichigo was usually so easy going. Sure, he was hot headed and easy to provoke, but more times than not, the nobles hash words rolled right off his shoulders. In a way, he meant what he said, but in another way, he didn't. It was just a habitual response, almost automatically given. Surely, he didn't think Ichigo less than him, he was indebted to him in more ways than one, but something about the boy's presence drew out more of his coldness than most. Perhaps it was the embarrassment he felt at the respect he held for the man, a man he once proclaimed to hate, when in reality, his feelings of appreciation and pride were ineffable. There was even a tiny part of him that was hopping Ichgio would return the snarky quip, as he usually did. Byakuya had to admit, he enjoyed it, not many people challenged him, verbally or physically. So it was surprising when Ichigo seemed rather effected by the man's words.

When Ichigo stepped closer, the man could see why he had been so effected, Ichigo's face and eye's were red, he had been crying.

Straightening him self out, Ichigo shoved his hands in his pockets, and went to walk pass Byakuya."I'll be getting out of your hair now."

Almost instinctively, Byakuaya grabbed the boy's wrist, earning him quite the confused look. Byakuay wasn't quite sure what he was doing either. For reason unbeknown to him, it seemed wrong to just let Ichigo leave like that. Usually, Byakuya was unfazed by others feelings, but knowing how easy going Ichigo was with him, and how upset he must of been to be brought to tears, it seemed so _wrong_ for him to leave in that way. It seemed wrong for him to take the noble's words as completely malice filled and heartless. Though he justified it with Ichigo being Rukia's friend, therefore he would have to see him often, if Byakuya was being honest with him self, he knew it was truly an abhorrent distaste for seeing the younger man so sullen.

Dropping his hand. the older man hesitated momentarily. "Um-Are you okay?" he asked with as much indifference as he could muster before adding on,"is Rukia okay? I'm assuming you're here with her."

' _Gz, I'm the one who's crying, and he's assuming something's wrong with Rukia. Like I did something to hurt her, well, I guess he wouldn't be wrong, but still…'_ Scrunching his brow, Ichigo quipped,"no, I'm really secretly obsessed with you, and have been sneaking around your mansion all this time."

Byakuya gave a serious look that told Ichigo he would not abide his snark at the moment. "What happened?" he demanded to know.

"It's nothing, damn it." Ichigo spate out, frustrated at having to explain. Now more meekly, he continued…"Rukia and I, we just got into an argument..I guess you could call it that. She's angry at me." At the sight of Byakuya's death glare intensifying and chest puffing up, Ichigo put his hands up placidly. "Woe there, relax, no need to go gettin' all super big brother on me, I didn't do anything-I" Ichigo found it hard to find the words, he didn't want Byakuya mad at him, but still, there was no way he could tell him what happened between him and Rukia. "Um- It's nothing that could of been help, we just want different things, thats all. I think she's more hurt than angry."

Ichigo searched Byakuya's face for any sign of realization or anger, hopping he had been vague enough to keep him from asking to many questions. It seemingly pacified the man, as he responded flatly, "Ah, well, I'm sure she'll forgive you. I'm unsure why, but she seems to be quite fawned of you…despite the fact that you're a stalker with an obsession with her brother." Byakuya smirked slightly, trying to comfort the boy in his own way.

Ichigo felt a tinge of heat rise through him at the realization that Byakuya was actually trying to make him feel better. His face gapped with shock at the man, who had actually smirked slightly, something he was sure Byakuya was incapable of.

At Ichigo's surprised face, Byakuya continued,"and why she would have such sentiments about someone who'd be made to cry so easily is just as unexplainable."

Ichigo growled slightly before biting back,"yeah, well, some of us didn't have glaciers for senpai's. Us humans have a little something called emotions. Newest thing on the market, maybe you should give em' a try."

Byakuya smirked inwardly at the return of Ichigo's usual fire. Nodding his head, he continued, "I see you're already feeling better. I suppose, I can leave you now."

With that, Ichigo realized that Byakuya truly had been trying to make him feel better. Ichigo couldn't help but think back to Rukia's words earlier, about how Byakuya needed to be explored, not merely discovered. Or more so, to truly discover him, Ichigo would have to do a lot of exploring. He also remembered the enticing challenge it presented him. Taking on Byakuya was sure one hell of a way to spice up his life. Still, he now found it his turn to stop Byakuya from leaving.

"Hey, Byakuya," he called out. When the noble turned around, he continued,"You know, every other captain has taken me out for drinks, and gave me the whole congratulations spill…" He walked closer to the man,"Except for you..for someone who holds manners as such a top priority, wouldn't you call that rude?" Ichigo gave a smug smile to which Byakuay just scoffed.

"You know as much about manners as Kenpachi knows about silverware."

Ignoring the man, he walked past him, patting him on the back. "I'll let you make up for your ruddiness now and we'll call it square."

Byakuya scowled at the boy's capricious and bold behavior, though part of him secretly enjoyed it-a very minuscule part of him. "It's equally as rude to invite your self into someones home, Kurosaki."

Ichigo turned and gave the man a sly gin,"what? You got other plans?"

"Yes, i'm quite busy with work an-"

"Liar," Ichigo bluntly stated. "You have poor Renji doing your work why'll you take the night off." Seeing the man's hesitance, he continued. "Besides, it's six at night, what am I interrupting? Do you set aside an hour a night to scowl at the wall or something?"

"That would be more entertaining than baby sitting a drunk child," he bit back quickly. The problem was, Byakuya was sure that wasn't true. That was one of the reasons he was so off putted by the request, he didn't completely hate the idea of spending time with Ichigo, even when he hated most company. It wasn't as if he'd be any less adamant if it was someone else, but still, if it was someone else, they surely wouldn't be as adamant. Something about that made Ichigo different, the way he acted around Byakuay, completely unfazed by his arrogance or harshness, like a constant fiery presence that was only fueled, completely unpredictable and bold. That was Ichigo, and there was something about that the noble abhorred and found captivating all at the same time. Anyone who wouldn't abide to Byakuya's death glare was peculiar, that was certain. Still, Byakuay knew he shouldn't find such peculiar behavior so curious and tantalizing, but he did.

"Come on, it's been a bad day," Ichigo spoke honestly while trying to veil the underlying sadness in his voice. "It's hard adjusting to life here, ya know? Company helps. You're not really that heartless, huh?"

The same feeling of familiar guilt made the noble feel uneasy. It was a guilt he rarely felt when dealing with someones emotions. For a moment, he'd forgotten just what Ichigo had to give up to be in the soul society. He forgot that this was flung upon him, that he was ripped away from his life and family. Despite the younger man's casual way of putting it, Byakuya knew how important the company must had been to him. He could see the slight sting of loneliness in the man's gaze. With that, he was unable to be so cold. Something about that lonely gaze filled the man with sadness.

"Fine," he huffed out in defeat. "Follow me."

And with that, Byakuya retreated inside with Ichigo on his heels.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey readers! Before we dive into this, I wanted to address a couple of things. First off, I'm sorry about any grammatical or spelling errors you may encounter while reading this. I try very hard to edit, In fact, I usually read over my final draft three times before I submit. However, I have an issue with reading over mistakes a lot, maybe because it's my own work. I also have a beta, but she's currently working on another story of mine. So, unless someone wants to volunteer as my beta, bare with me. I think I'm pretty good at the whole grammar and spelling thing, but like I said, It's easy for me to skip over things. Especially with my chapters being so long. SN: I know I said these chapters weren't going to be long, and respectively, they're not . On my other story, my chapters range from 6,000-14,000 word pre, so this is actually pretty tame for me. Secondly, I wanted to clarify somethings about these characters, the biggest thing I want to clarify is that this is NOT an anti rukia story. I won't be bashing her, nor do I dislike her character. I just thought this was a really cool idea for a plot line. Also, I've had a few people write me and give their predictions to whats going to happen between Byakuya and Ichigo. If you happen to read my other story, you know I have a very specific way that I see Byakuya Kuchiki, I find him to be really complex and having many layers. Though, I think my way of characterizing him is different than a lot of other people, I've been told by quite a few people that they really like the way I write his character, hopefully you will too. Saying this, from the predictions people have given me, I think a lot of you may be surprised. If you're thinking Ichigo and Byakuya are going to do it and then just start dating and living happily ever after, you may be disappointed. Thats also my writing style, I write happy endings, not tragedies, but you have to work to get there. Lastly, I wanted to apologize for any reviews I didn't respond to, that's something I usually hold my self to because I really appreciate the support and the reviews, but this week has been crazy, so I was sadly unable to.**

 **Warning: There is Ichigo and Byakuya smut in this chapter. Though I would like to say this about that, my lemons/yaoi's are usually WAY more graphic and detailed than what you're going to be getting in this chapter. The reason I'm making this scene somewhat cleaner is because I truly believe a good yaoi uses sex sparingly, as a means for tension within the story. To many hard core sex scenes can take away from tha tension, so I usually only have one very graphic and intense scene per story, which I usually wait to write until the climax(Pun totally intended.)**

 **Good vibes! :)**

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" _I was driving_ ,

 _taking chances_.

 _Walking way too far out on_

 _some broken branches._

 _Sometimes where you're going_

 _is hard to see" -El_ _Vy "No Time to Crank th_ e _Sun"_

 **Curiosity**

Ichigo walked silently behind the noble before arriving at an arch way with a mahogany door leading into a huge lounging area. The room was furnished with leather love seats and burgundy rugs. The sumptuous seraglio looked spacious enough to hold huge parties.

In the middle of the room was a billiards table, the adjacent wall held an impressive collection of hand carved billiard sticks. For the most part, the room was rather impressionable, much like Byakuya. Other than the billiards table, there was nothing in the room that showed Byakuya to be much more than his status.

Ichigo glared around the impressive room before watching Byakuya walk over to a long wooden cabinet, and pull out two bottles of sake and two glasses, only to sit the items down on a glass table top.

"This place is huge," Ichigo said somewhat awkwardly, placing a hand behind his head.

Walking over with cups in hand, the equitable man merely shrugged his shoulders before handing over the sake glass. "Oh this? I have plenty of rooms just like this one."

The new captain gave a breathy chuckle. "Figures, this place is bigger than my old high school." He smirked slightly before continuing,"One man all alone in this house, I was just playing when I told Rukia I thought you might be a vampier, but now, I'm not so sure."

Before taking a sip of his sake, Byakuya flatly replied,"Why do you think I invited you in?"

Ichigo actually choked slightly on his sake before throwing the man a bewildered look.

"Joking, Kurosaki. I can do that, you know," he clarified.

"Well you can't blame a guy for being confused, I don't think I've ever seen you smile, let alone tell a joke," Ichigo chuckled, walking over to replenish his sake cup. "You should do it more often," he turned around before continuing, giving the man a sly grin. "People wouldn't be so scared of ya', you seem more human that way."

"Perhaps I like it that way," Byakuya said flatly while giving the boy a particular look, noting Ichigo had already downed his second cup and was preparing his third. "That bottle cost more than your house, child. Must you be so avaricious?"

Drinking his third cup in a shot like fashion, he let out a refreshed sigh before gesturing around the room with his hand. "Something tells me you don't have trouble keeping the alcohol stock piled, especially if you're freely letting me drink something that damn expensive."

The raven haired man grimaced at his guest's presumptuous and blunt nature. Byakuya let out a supercilious chuckle, "I'd expect nothing less from a rash youth like your self. I can see why Rukia's keen to you," the noble spoke flatly, yet sarcastically. "So pleasant and well mannered."

Turning to pick up the Sake bottle once more, Ichgio replied,"It's that special charm I have, what can I say?" He continued with a frustrated scowl, "but can we please not talk about Ruk-" His eyes widened, realizing that he better chose his words more carefully. After a brief moment of thought and his eyes darting around the room, he continued,"Um- I mean, let's play pool."

He went to pour the sake, but jolted slightly at the feeling of unfamiliar contact. Looking over his shoulder, he saw a pair of stone cold eyes filled with severity. Though the voice that came out was much more docile than the accompanied facial features,"Fine, but truly, it's not about the cost, you need to pace your self." Ichigo almost thought he heard a slight inflection in the nobles voice, one associated with concern, but the raven haired man continued with a voice of detachment. "It isn't as if the bottles are going any where."

Of late, Ichigo had changed. Thought he didn't want to, Byakuya took notice. How could he not? The boy's whom mere existence irked him had completely lost his fire, the same fire that Byakuya claimed to despise. Since Ichigo had arrived in the Soul Society permanently, the once erratic, yet warm aura that drew people in had been replaced by a sobering presence, only to be defined as detached and sometimes callous. It was as if the new captan was merely wading in the water that had become his new life, his new indifference was in stark contrast to the man's usual passionate charisma. Everyone must have taken notice to this sudden change.

That was not the perplexing part. What Byakuya found so dangerously aberrant was how much it concerned him. Yes, it certainly deviated from the nobles usual actions. Firstly, he rarely ever involved him self in others emotional plights, feeling as if it wasn't his place. However, the fact that this was Ichigo was what made it so extraordinary. Hadn't he always had a distaste for the new captain's offbeat and audacious personality? Didn't that devil-may-care charm always challenge who Byakuya was fundamentally? So why was Byakuya trying to revive it, why did he find him self trying to give oxygen to Ichigo preverbal fire? For that, he was unsure of. All he knew is that the sight of Ichigo's dimming light was putrid, and despite his brain arguing to the contrary, every synapse in his body was signaling for action, telling him to help kindle that fire. In fact, in the garden was the first time Byakuya had seen a glint of that old flam, if he was being honest, that's why he allowed him in.

For that reason, Ichigo trying to use alcohol to cope with his growing indifference was something Byakuya couldn't abide, he knew how easily that could lead into a destructive and dismal path. However, Ichigo wouldn't be so easily swayed.

Ichigo ripped his wrist from the mans grasp before pouring another glass, "Yeah, but I might be," he mumbled begrudgingly. "Knowing you, I'm probably over staying my welcome as is."

Ichigo had never been much of a drinker, but from the couple of times he had been drunk, he noticed he was an emotional drunk. Rather that emotion be happiness, anger, or sadness, he expressed those emotions to there fullest, which was exactly what he wanted. Since his arrival in the Soul Society, Ichigo's emotional state could be described as passive and one demential, it seemed all he could feel was a desolate emptiness, that was sometimes accompanied by the sting of loneliness. Even in his loneliness, the sadness that came from it was dull and mute, only noticeable because it was the only emotion he felt other than an all encompassing apathy. The sadness was like a leak in the attic that you can't get rid of. You're habituated to the dripping, most days you don't even hear it, but when you do, it's just an annoyance that get's under your skin; not enough to ever fix the leak, but enough to be bothersome. So the leak stays, barely noticeable, but still as a constant reminder of the rotting foundation that you're unable to fix.

He almost wished he had a resolute sadness, a tenacious and unbending agony that silenced the emptiness. At least then, he would feel something, perhaps more connected. Anything would be better than the goggles of indifference suctioned to his soul, skewing and twisting who he was, and the way he saw life. This must be what depression felt like, a constant dull nothingness that changes the person you thought you were.

In fact, Byakuay's presence was the only thing that seemed to invoke emotion and excitement, and he didn't want that to end. For this reason, he was downing sake at an unreasonable rate.

"Of course you are," came the reply, accompanied by a slight smirk on the man's face. "You wouldn't be Kurosaki if you weren't, but still, I'm not completely heartless, I won't let you leave after consuming so much alcohol."

Byakuya wasn't fawned of the idea of Ichigo drowning his sorrows with sake, however, if the boy had time to unwind, and express the frustrations he had been holding back, then perhaps it would help him recover some of that fire. Again, Byakuya was unsure of why he cared, and he didn't even want to ask him self why he wanted Ichigo to unload on him, for he was sure the answer was something he didn't want to know. Yet, he resolved him self, deciding it was worth it if it would wipe that look of apathy off the usually passionate man.

Walking over to grab two pool sticks, Byakuya handed one to Ichigo, who is now starting to feel the effects of the alcohol."Let's play, but I must warn you, this will be embarrassing for you, I'm quite proficient at this game," Byakuya rose a challenging eye brow before setting up the table.

Ichigo snorted slightly, using the pool stick to keep his balance as he stumbled slightly. "I kind of just thought this was for show, I didn't think your _proficiency_ ," he spoke in a playful, yet mocking tone. "With stick like objects, went beyond slicing and dicing." He gave a drunken hiccup before continuing, "Basically, I thought your only hobbies included, striking fear of in hearts of people, andddd," he dragged his words out playfully. "Scowling."

Byakuya let out a scoff before replying, "You know what they say about making assumptions, Kurosaki. I'm more dynamic than you would think." The raven haired noble cocked his eyebrow at the younger man, addled by the beaming smile on the man's flushed face. Even more so perplexed by how dazzling he found it. "What?" he asked.

Ichigo bit his lip slightly before shaking him self from his inner thoughts, "I was just thinking that I really like being wrong about you," he let out a breathy chuckle, "Isn't that funny, I usually hate being wrong, but this time, it's pretty cool." A brief epoch of time passed while the two shared short unreadable glances. Finally, Ichigo broke the silence, ignoring the flustering warmness he felt at Byakuya's gaze. "Any way- I'm pretty horrible at pool." Giving the man a shit eating grin, he teased, "Maybe we've finally found something you're better at than me."

Chalking his pool cue, Byakuya replied with a scoff. "You mean other than having manners and being civilized?"

Walking over to the impossibly handsome man, Ichigo yanked the chalk away, "Let me clarify, something you're better at that's _actually_ important."

With a shake of his head, Byakuya walked to the table, and the game began.

They played with little conversation as Ichigo continued to drink, and Byakuya continued to win. Stepping back to look at the table and then back to Ichigo, he stated, "I think you were under exaggerating your abilities, you're absolutely horrible. Have you even played pool before? I'm surprised you didn't start using the opposite end of your pool stick."

If this had been another time, Ichigo would have probably became defensive, and immediately challenge the man to a re match, feeling the need to reclaim his pride. Yet in his drunken state, he was to carefree and jaunty to care. "Eh, I kind of thought that since I'm so bad when I'm sober, that the alcohol would work in my favor."

"I can see that plan worked out well for you," Byakuya teased sarcastically. "Stick to wielding a zonpakuto, that was humiliating."

Shaking his head, Ichigo wobbled over to place his stick back on the wall. "Yeah, I just glad I didn't make this a drinking game or you really would have a drunken mess on your hands."

Taking note of Ichigo's breezy disposition, Byakuya thought to him self, _'I'm not sure I don't already.'_

"What do you take me as, some twenty something? I don't play drinking games," he hissed.

The susurrus of belittlement rolled right off of Ichigo's shoulders. He walked over to the opulent man and took his cup, letting his grasp mingle with the noble's lithe fingers for a brief moment. "Well maybe you should, you're sober as a nun, no fair, I can't be the only one with fucked up judgment." He cocked an eye brow before walking back over to the sake, now opening a third bottle.

If he didn't know any better, he would have said he was flirting. The jolt of heat and playful nature he felt around the man was a new feeling all together. Though, considering Ichigo had never felt feelings such as lust or flirtation before, and the fact he was three sheets to the wind, he didn't take much mind to it. His drunkenness clouded his mind to the point he didn't even question that sensation, just enjoyed it. He chalked his new attitude up to his inebriation.

"Unlike you, it takes more than two shots to do me in. Even so, I don't get like you when I'm drunk, so I don't know what you'd expect. I'm pretty much as unflappable as I am in my normal state."

Ichigo poked out a lip slightly and scowled, still taking the opportunity to fill the noble's glass. "Wow, that really is no fun. Isn't the point of drinking to loosen up?" Ichigo replenished his cup for the tenth time now, continuing before he downed his drink, "Isn't it about being a truer version of your self, ya know, without all the judgment and bullshit getting in the way?"

A fugacious glint of sadness filled the boys honey orbs before his halcyon demeanor returned. Once more, he was all smiles, trying to hide his sadness. Byakuay couldn't help but feel a tug at his soul, and with that, he decided drinking with Ichgio was a small price to be payed, if it would only make him happy for a moment.

Walking over to the boy, he picked up the already full glass and downed it in a shot like fashion, only to repeat this three more times, completely unfazed. Ichigo just stared at the regal man, memorized by the sight.

"There," he hissed. "However, I won't be getting _lose_ or whatever you call it."

Ichigo couldn't help but to smile at the way Byakuay chose to show compassion. Most people would bombard him with questions and nag him about his new demeanor. Byakuya was different. His way of helping was subtle, yet equally dulcet. On some level, he understood Ichigo. He understood Ichigo didn't want to be pitted or dotted upon, that would only make him feel smaller and hurt his pride. No, Ichigo needed honestly and tough love. He needed witty conversation and company that understood action was more potent than words, he needed the type of compassion that only Byakuya could give.

At this, the pair sat on one of the many leather love seats and fell into conversation.

"So, how are you adjusting to your new position as captain?" inquired Byakuya.

Pursing his lips thoughtful, he responded,"It's going good, I guess."

Byakuya rolled his eyes slightly. The alcohol was doing it's magic, he was feeling a bit more loquacious. "You're killing me with detail, Kurosaki," he spat back.

Ichigo returned the gesture before replying, "Sarcasm noted, um-well," and with that, Ichigo allowed the alcohol to do it's magic also, now opening up. "It's okay, It's just…I guess I'm a little worried. I've never been in charge of a group like that, I've never been someones leader." He pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation before continuing, "I'd hate my self if my inexperience got someone killed, ya know."

The noble gave the man a serious look before responding with complete sincerity, "Kurosaki, you've been leading people for years now, maybe not by choice, but either way, you've been leading the Soul Society out of darkness for quite sometime…" He grimaced at his next words, "Even I have to admit, you're a natural born leader. So don't underestimate your self, your subordinates can sense your doubt. When the situation arises, you'll know how to protect your squad.

Feeling somewhat perplexed by the nobles words, Ichigo's feature's gapped. Once again, the new captain found him self happily wrong. In fact, he found him self over indulging in the felicity of the moment, and for some unbeknown reason, he caught him self appreciating the eloquence of the man. Not only did he feel a great warmness churning at his words, but the porcelain skin and the calm sea of coal gray orbs seemed to have him hooked. So much so, he didn't even realize that he'd been staring. What were these feelings? Why was he hypnotized by Byakuya's beauty, and since when did he start thinking Byakuya was beautiful? Even with the alcohol, once he broke the spell, he had to question his own actions.

Though, despite not understanding his own feelings, Ichigo did understand his wanton need to know more about the man. Startled he was by the noble's ability to empathize and do so in such a way that Ichigo didn't feel belittled or pitted, he felt understood. This only aided in his curiosity, making him wonder what what else he could unearth about the man.

When Ichigo finally realized he had been quiet for an unusual amount of time, he filled the silence. "I didn't know you had a heart Byakuya, surprise,surprise," he teased with a gentle smile.

Byakuay teased back with a subtle smirk plastered on his face, "don't tell anyone, okay? I do have a reputation to uphold." To Byakuya's dismay, he felt his heat jolt as the honey brown eyes and flushed cheeks looked upon him with such earnestness. Ichigo had on a face of child like jubilance, a face Byakuya hadn't seen in a while. That one expression filled him with more warmness than he'd felt in a long time. A feeling similar to relief, mixed with happiness. He couldn't understand why this man imbued such emotions from him. It was dangerous territory, getting this close to someone. Still, Byakuya couldn't help but be gentle with the boy in these moment.

Even more frightening, he found him self wanting to touch Ichigo, to reach out and touch his lips with his own, a feeling that had been lost on him for years. That was the way Byakuya like it, he didn't want anyone to become to close to him again, he didn't want to be distracted from his position. For that reason, Byakuya felt a great uneasiness at Ichigo's presence, and the way he looked at him with such animation. However, he was also pleased to see Ichigo somewhat resembling his old self, that he dared not stop. If anything, these lewd thought were the alcohol's doing and could easily be avoided.

Byakuay added on in a slightly harsher tone,"Of course, if you're going to be a captain of the Gotei, then you must learn to stop with the crying, you're not a little girl."

Ichigo scoffed indigently,"Yeah, coming from the guy in a fucking dress."

"This is not a dress," Byakuya snapped back,"It's traditional Japanese clothing, and much better than those rags you're wearing."

Ichigo laughed at how defensive Byakuya had became, smirking helplessly at the exquisite man. "It's okay Byakuya," he muttered through laughter, "You pull off a dress better than most men, Id even go as far as to say you're beautiful."

The truth behind his words were missed by Ichigo, he was so throughly sloshed that he payed no mind to his own flirting. The words came out as naturally as any others.

Byakuya was certainly effected by the words, he found him self blushing like a school girl and grappling for words. Falling back on his natural defensive, he dawned a look of complete indifference. "Tell me," he demanded. "Why were you crying in my garden?"

Ichigo went from hysterical laughter to extremely demur in an instant. He adverted his eyes and spoke meekly, "I-um- I told you, remember. Gzz, are you that self absorbed? You can't even remember what I said an hour ago." Ichigo put on an offend glare, hoping to hide his true anguish.

The noble gave the man a knowing look before replying, "Yes, you said you and Rukia had a disagreement, but you've been upset for a while now, correct?"

Scrunching his eye brows and tugging at his bottom lip, Ichigo responded, to drunk to hold back the truth. "You noticed, huh?"

Giving the man a side ways glance, he continued flatly, "When the pain of my existence stops being a pain in my ass, how am I not to notice?"

Ichigo smiled at Byakuya's compassion wrapped in an insult, it was true Byakuya fashion. "I'm glad to know I have such an effect on you," he teased, earning him a death glare from Byakuya, signifying for him to be serious.

The new captain had a wistful look in his eyes as he looked away, his once vivacious demeanor now becoming much more somber. "It's because…well, I guess I've felt empty..and lonely." He grimaced at the truth behind his own words before continuing, "I know it's stupid, I should be happy and feel fulfilled, but I feel like I had no choice in this decision, like I've had every possibility taken away from me before I even knew I wanted them…I'm lonely for the possibilities." His voice became contained with anguish as he tried to hold back the tears, the alcohol was only a catalyze for his sadness, one he couldn't fight. A single tear ran down his cheek as he continued, "I'm not missing all the things I won't be able to do, I'm wishing I took the opportunity to figure out what it was I wanted out of life, so I could at least know what to miss. Now it's like…I don't know…I just miss this endless void of possibilities, I don't even feel real without them…" He shook his head in dismay and let out a breathy chuckle in hopes to negate some of his sadness. "You probably wouldn't get it…It's stupid, I k-"

Ichigo's words were cut off by a tender, yet strong hand cupping his cheek and wiping away the tear. Byakuya turned Ichigo's flushed, twisted face to met his own, looking into the confused eyes with his sever ones. A part of him wasn't sure what he was doing, his body was once again reacting without the permission of his mind. A need to comfort the boy and a sickness at the sight of his sadness seemed to be the culprit behind his actions.

Despite his own shock, his want to comfort Ichigo negated his doubt. "Stop calling your self stupid," his habitually serious voice seemed more docile, barely above a whisper. "That's not stupid at all and I do _get_ it. I've never had a choice to be anyone other than who I am, it's my birthright…and even thought I don't mind.." His sentence trailed off, for he seemed as surprised by his own honesty as Ichigo did. Still making impenetrable eye contact with the man, he continued, "how could I not feel a certain degree of emptiness when my whole identity was decide upon before I was even born?"

Ichigo's gapped features stayed glued to the beautiful man before him as he tried to form words with his parted lips. Briging his hand up to Byakuya's, he held it against his cheek momentarily, "Byakuya, I never knew-"

Ichigo cut him self off when he felt the warmness of Sake spill all over his lap, "Shit, fuckkkk," he cursed out, noting he had spilt the glass of Sake in his free hand.

Standing up, he started to take off his pants, to which Byakuya let out an involuntary gasp."What are you doing?"

Ichigo cocked an eyebrow at the man and gave him a look of amusement, "um, I'm getting out of these pants, they're fucking drenched."

Standing to attention, Byakuya announced that he'd retrieve a servant and tell them to fetch Ichigo a change of clothes.

Ichigo countered as exspected, "I'm not wearing one of those dresses, don't worry, the'll dry by the time I leave in the morning."

This didn't deter the man, he stood up and turned to leave while objecting, "nonsense, I'll-" In his frantic and fluster state, Byakuay tripped over a rug, only to be caught by Ichigo.

Discombobulated by his unusual gawky manner, Byakuya felt like a bumbling idiot, completely subdued by Ichigo's touch. Coal orbs looked towards Ichigo's gapped face with a mutted seriousness. He dawned a simple and honest smile, which elicited a full body shutter from Byakuya, his body physically responding to Ichigo's warm aura.

"You're slow, even when you're falling," Ichigo teased.

For a brief moment, both men had their hooks in each other, neither able to allude the magnetic hold that kept them both in place. Each trapped within the will of a moment, passively observing each other in silence. The ephemeral moment of mutual captivation ended when Ichigo's eyes widened and his face became inflamed with humiliation.

Unwrapping him self from the noble, he turned away quickly, lowering his head in shame. "Uh-sorry about that-may-maybe you should go get me those change of clothes."

Finding the boys behavior odd and capricious, Byakuya grabbed his forearm and forcefully turned him around. "What has gotten into you, you're acting od-"Byakuay was cut off by quite a jarring sight, his mouth stumbling over words as he took it in. Ichigo stood, head still bowed in shame with an undoubtable rock hard erection. His whole length outlined by the tightness of his boxer briefs.

When Byakuay found his words again, he found him self furious as the result of his own rising desire. "Kurosaki, what do you think you're doing?" Byakuya boomed out, deflecting his own fluster state

The new captain's face was a combination of humiliated and angry as he grappled for his pants, having a hard time figuring out how to put them back on in his blitzed state. "What do you mean, what am I doing?! I didn't fucking plan this! What the hel- Ow fucking, jesus christ." Ichigo cursed, accidentally brushing against his own throbbing erection. "Shit, this hurts." He took a frustrated sigh and dropped his pants in defeat. "I don't think I've ever been this hard, I didn't even think you could be so hard when you got drunk," Ichigo groaned out.

With his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose and one hand placed on his hip, Byakuya gave the man a serious glare. "God, you're not helping. Can you not control your self? If I knew just how lewd you were, I wouldn't have invited you here."

Ichigo became noticeably crestfallen by the thoughtless words of the crass man. This wasn't something he could help nor had hoped for. In fact, he was unaware that his feelings towards Byakuya were sexual attraction until his body let him in on the secret. The youth was adrift from him self, knocking on doors in hopes to answer the quintessential question of who he wanted to be. Ichgio never expected for Byakuya to be the one to answer his knock.

Ichigo turned around to face away from Byakuya, leaving an unnerving silence between the two as Ichigo took in the irony of the situation. His anger came out in the form of light chuckles, for he was almost amused by how fucked this situation was. "God, fucking life, man." The effects of the alcohol were making him quite loquacious and emotional, as waves of intense anger, humiliation and sadness crashed into him interchangeably. Because of this, Ichigos's brash and blunt nature was intensified, as he no longer felt any need to bite his tongue. "This isn't what I wanted, you know..I didn't even know.." He turned around, letting his anger be the catalysis for such bold words,"do you want to know why Rukia's mad at me?" he asked rhetorically, not giving the man time to respond. "Because, she..she told me she was in love with me and she _came_ onto me." He shook his head in disbelief, once again chuckling at the situation. "Ha-I've never felt that before, just one more thing I never gave a fucking thought to before I came here, so when she told me, I _really_ wanted to try, to see if what I felt for her was what she feels for me, but…well your body doest lie, does it?"

Taking in the nobles placid, yet perplexed features at full attention, he continued, "I thought I was defected, that I was incapable of feeling that way. So imagine my surprise when this situation _rose_ up." He clenched his fist and set his jaw, "This isn't what I fucking wanted, trust me, if it was my choice, I wouldn't have chosen you, I wouldn't have chosen a guy.."

A pang of remorse enveloped the noble, causing him to cringe internally at his own callous nature. He was caught off guard, and in the face of his own copious desire, he instinctively drew back to his usual defense mechnisim; heartlessness. As mature as Ichigo was, Byakuya sometimes forgot how inexperienced and green he must be. This was his first time really being attracted to someone in such an intense manner, it must be humiliating to receive that reaction while simultaneously realizing his sexuality.

Another point of concern was his sisters infatuation with Ichigo. Surely, it wasn't unexpected, though he never actively thought on it, her having romantic feelings for Ichigo seemed only natural. Earlier in the night, he felt her dampened spiritual pressure leave the mansion, so he knew she must have been highly effected by Ichigo and her's altercation, but he would have never assumed just how intimate of a pain she must have been feeling.

Byakuya couldn't help but feel sympathy for them both, each left dejected and disconnection in the aftermath of Ichigo's rejection. Yet the scintilla of relief was what really tore at his morals. Certainly, he didn't want Rukia unhappy, but to his utter dismay, the image of the two happily intertwining their lives brought about feelings of unsolicited yearning and regret. In the light of his own selfish wants, the noble felt so small and so debased.

Though it seemed his guilt, reluctance, and desire were causing an internal war, each emotion fighting its way for a place at the forefront of his mind. It only riddled Byakuya with questions, questions of why Ichigo yielded such deep emotions from him.

Byakuya hadn't been with anyone since the passing of his wife for very specific reasons. The noble was to upstanding and courtly to bed someone without the intention of having a serious relationship. In fact, despite him finding a few chosen people passively attractive, he had to have sincere sentimental feelings towards a person to truly want their body. In that lied the problem, Byakuya felt a rapacious hunger for the boy, a draw to touch him, play at his body like an instrument, make him completely malleable to his will, aquiver with pleaser. Something Byakuya undoubtedly wouldn't feel without some feelings towards the boy

At the revalation, Byakuya rubbed his temples in frustration. This was dangerous territory, for he was unconfortably close to being completely smitten with the man, which was impossible and completely unthinkable. Deep in the void of Hisana's passing, Byakuay let any ties to a life of love die with her. The pain of her passing left the man emotionally ransacked. After the realization that he abandoned rules for a women who could never completely return his love, and the anguish turned into a dull sadness, the man resolved him self to never be blinded by matters of the heart. The pillars that build his foundation were that of obstinance and heartlessness, and from that day on, he lived as such, constantly hiding from the warmness of affection. For this reason, he needed to cut this off at the head.

With a stone face and detached voice, Byakuya replied, "There's nothing wrong with being gay, you just can't be that way with me.'

Ichigo scoffed indigently, "Thanks for stating the obvious." His voice was constrained as he held back tears, refusing to let the man see him be weak. Though, in his drunk state of mind, he decided that, while he was already there with his pants down, he figured that nothing he could say would make this situation more mortifying. The wistful man continued, stifled by his own yearning, "you know, when I was fifteen, my dad sat me down for the talk. He said, 'son, when it's the right person you'll know. It's an unexplainable sensation, it's something you have to feel to understand.' He said, 'don't waste your first time on someone who makes who feel like a candle, wait for someone who makes you feel like a house-on-fire. That when someone's really got your heart, it's like every cell is drawing you towards them, despite all logic'.." he pursed his lips as he finished, "I never understood or cared about that talk, not until right now…because.." He clenched his jaw and adverted his eyes as he mumbled the next words. "This is the first time I've felt this way."

More demure than Ichigo had ever seen the regal man, Byakuay replied meekly, "I shouldn't be anyone's first experience. You know me, Kurosaki, well enough to know that I'm incapable of giving you the emotions you deserve from a lover. I'm not that breed of man." His voice was cold, yet dimer than usual, as if he was having to convince him self of that. "You're a child, you should go find someone more fitting, someone capable of reciprocating your feelings."

Even if Byakuay wanted to give into his lust and drop his resolve, he couldn't do that to Ichigo. He knew him self to be heartless and cold, despite these efflorescent sentiments towards the younger man, he knew he would only hurt Ichigo. He could never let anything surpass his position in his thoughts nor heart, not again, and for that reason, he would only push him away, leaving him feeling forsaken.

If that wasn't enough, Byakuya almost felt like a predator, lusting over such a young man. Though his youth didn't show in many ways, Byakuya knew there was still an innocent part to Ichgio, a part not yet jaded. The last thing he wanted to do was corrupt that.

Something in Byakuya's words flipped a switch in Ichigo. Something about the tone in his voice was hesitant and almost regretful, as if he was unsure of his own rejection. The younger man remembered Rukia's words of how Byakuya had to be _pushed_ into caring. If the noble was going to give into his own lust, he would have to be cornered by it, unable to hide from the truth of his own desire. With a more confident and deliberate look, Ichigo took a step towards the raven haired man, and pulled his shirt over his head to revile his defined stomach, glistening from alcohol induced sweat. Moving closer to the glacier like man, he made intense eye contact before asking, "do I look like a child to you?"

Despite the inciting view, Byakuay shook his head in frustration, ready to reprimand the younger man. That was until he was pulled into a pair of sake scented lips and he momentarily forgot all else, Ichigo's sloppy kisses were amnesia inducing.

Breaking from the kiss, Byakuya held his forehead to Ichigo's, shutting his eyes tightly in hopes to hold on to his slipping resolve. "We really cant."

Ichigo licked his lips and put on a more docile look, Byakuya couldn't help but to think he'd never seen anyone look so breathtakingly sexy, yet innocent at the same time. "I want you to show me, show me what it's like," he huffed out, lust muffling his voice, "I don't care what happens tomorrow, I just want to know what its like to be with someone who makes my body feel this way."

Though he was objecting, Byakuya knew he was slowly losing his resolve. His body was responding whole heartily to Ichigo's advances. "You'll regret this decision. You're to drunk to be making these decisions." He tried to pull him self away while declaring his lack of interest, but the sensation of Ichigo pulling his hips back in and sliding his knee under his garment stopped him in his tracts.

Rubbing Byakuya _there,_ Ichigo felt the hardness of his full length, "I knew it," Ichigo smirked confidently. "You can lie but your body can't." Whispering, his tepid breath millimeters from Byakuya's ear sent chills penetrating through his last bit of will power, " _take_ me."

As the last bit of resolution slipped from his fingers, Byakuya thought about the prospect of sleeping with Ichigo. Though it was out of character, the noble was trying to find justification that would make this somehow okay. Perhaps it would be better if he was Ichigo's first time, at least he would have the luxury of knowing Byakuya was being straight forward with him, something not guaranteed by others. Ichigo could easily fall victim to a player willing to manipulate his emotions just to get a quick fuck. At least with Byakuya, he would understand that it was a one time thing, he would know upfront to not get attached.

This way, Byakuya could give Ichigo a sensational first exsperince, he could show him how it's suppose to feel when it's with someone you truly want. And since Byakuay also found him self with new and unexplainable feelings towards the boy, he knew the experience would have the same warmness, earnestness, and passion that it should have when it's right, just without the ties of commitment. Byakuya could give him a magical night off perfection, only as the aurora rose and the curtain closed on the darkness, it would also close on their love affair.

In his lust filled and slightly intoxicated state of mind, Byakuya truly believed he could shut out any feelings towards the man once the night ended. Perhaps they wouldn't dissipate, but surely he could ignore them until they grew dormant and almost non existent. Byakuya was the king of veiling his emotions after all.

Little did he know, the intoxicant that was Ichigo's affection couldn't simply be thought away.

"Fine," the man growled lightly, now holding Ichigo's hips tightly. "If you want me to show you, i'll oblige, but only once." He searched Ichigo's face for hesitation before lifting the blitzed man up and hoisting him over his shoulder.

"What the fuck, Byakuay?" Ichigo boomed out, waving his extremities wildly. "Where are we going?"

"You didn't think I would take you in _there,_ did you? I have more class than that." Byakuya's voice had an unusual playfulness and challenging inflection to it, desire was now taking over the situation.

"I didn't think you were going to _literally_ take me. I'm not a fucking thing, ya kno-" Ichigo's angry whines were cut off by Byakuya opening the door to his bed chambers and carelessly slinging the man on the bed.

Ichigo laid back on his elbows with his head spinning, completely dazed from his surprise trip. Panting, he looked up at Byakuya's sultry, yet serious coal orbs as he slowly disrobed. The sensual man was going slow enough to allow Ichgio to take note of every provocative moment. Dawning a come hitter look, Ichigo licked his lips in anticipation, wanting nothing more than to touch the beauty in front of him. However, Byakuya seemed in no hurry.

The aluring man stood completely exposed, his strikingly gorgeous body highlighted by the dimming sunlight cascading shadows over his refined muscles. Like a predator sizing up his prey, he knelt on the bed in front of Ichigo, whom was looking particularly inviting and opened up, his whole body waiting for Byakuya.

The noble loomed over the flustered man, taking in the tight perfect body before lowing himself right above Ichigo. Supporting him self on his forearms, his lips hovered directly above Ichgio's trembling one. He lifted the young man's chin up with a tender tug before peppering kisses on the soft skin

"Listen," the sincere voice broke through the sweltering passion of the moment like rays of bright warm sunlight. "I want you to remember this and know that this is what it should always feel like. You're only to give your body to someone if they can truly set your skin on fire. You deserve nothing less." At the sight of radiant honey orbs giving Byakuya a look of affirmation mixed with bashfulness, he could no longer wait. He wrapped Ichigo in his arms before whispering, "But tonight, that beautiful body is mine."

The noble worked his lithe fingers over Ichigo's entirety, he moved meticulously and painstakingly slow, making Ichigo's body writhe and arch with each lick, kiss, and nibble. The thorough man inflicting a concoction of sensual pleasure that teetered on the edge of pain, for the sensation was to great. Every part of him was being prodded and traversed by the noble. He took great pleasure in exploring every crevasse of the boy while experimenting, seeing which spots yielded the loudest moans of pleasure. Mellifluous wails filled the room with an even thicker lust, the air was surging with electricity as they found their own spiritual pressure's to be suffocating.

Still, Byakuya was unyielding and relentless, adding suction to Ichigo's curved cock while probing his entrance, making sure to massage his most sensitive area extra carefully. The boys screams of euphoria became so loud that the noble covered his mouth with his free hand, subjugating the younger man's moans while he continued to suck, only to feel Ichigo's warm thick release enter his mouth. Yet, for the older man, he wasn't even close to done. This passionate tryst would be there only, and Byakuya planed on making it count, and despite how long it had been for the man, he knew how to make this last throughout the night. Forgoing all logic and rational, Byakuya would give into his cardinal desires and let him self fully enjoy and feel the full extent of their closeness, even if it made giving it up harder. In such a moment, with their bodies merging and their souls dancing with each others, how could Byakuya not sub come to the inescapable grasp of his own affections? He was unsure when these feelings came about, or why he hadn't realized sooner, but the noble was completely enchanted.

As for the writhing strawberry, he felt equally overcame with emotions, having never felt such a connection with another person. For he knew that these feelings went beyond sex because if anyone else touched him in this way, he was certain it wouldn't be the same. No, this wasn't your run of the mill sexual attraction, it was suffocating and daunting, but it the best possible way. In those moments, Ichigo tried to suppress the words of the noble, forgetting that this would be the only time he would get to feel this electricity. If anything, he tried to be grateful for being able to experience something so magical at least once and lose him self to the fantasy that was this love affair. Perhaps, if he willed it hard enough, the sun would never rise.

Their activates did in fact last through most of the night, leaving Ichigo utterly drained. Even if he wanted to continue, his body was without fluids to bring him to climax. For Byakuya however, while making the man reach his peak over and over agin, he had yet to climax once. For he barley allowed the younger man to touch him, fearing his immediate release at Ichigo's velvet touch. Still, that didn't stop the younger man from trying, though he was the bottom in this situation, that didn't mean he was completely at Byakuay's will.

He wanted to leave his own impression on the man. It was unthinkable to believe Ichigo could just forget something like this, something so vividly real, enticing, and honest. Ichigo felt a scene of abandonment that lit a fire within him, setting his whole begin aflame. Undoubtably, this would etch an unseen mark on his soul, causing him inwards shivers when ever he even heard the name Byakuya Kuchiki. Now he could never forget him. Though he wasn't sure if the same could be said for the noble, Ichigo knew he wanted to leave him with unforgettable memories, he wanted to know he penetrated the skin of the one and only Kuchiki clan leader, he wanted to know those lips were moaning because of his touch. He wanted those places to tingle with excitement when ever Byakuya saw him, but mostly, he wanted to make sure Byakuya couldn't just easily forget about him, because Ichigo surely would remember.

After Ichigo had climaxed for the last time, Byakuya removed him self, giving the man a break. Ichigo took the opportunity to pin the man down, dominating him and moving his warm wet mouth down to Byakuya's huge length. Despite being obviously inexperienced, Byaukua allowed him to try as he watched with a smirk. Ichigo was determined to give Byakuya the same pleasure, even if it was just a tiny fraction of it. Thinking of what he liked and what Byakuya had just did to him, Ichigo tried with all of his might, and to his surprise, it worked. The noble started letting out involuntary whimpers as his cock twitched in Ichigo salivating mouth.

With widened eyes, Byakuya felt a tingling sensation that signified how close he was. Instead of allowing Ichigo to send him into euphoric spasms, he flipped the man over and entered him once more. Using his hand to palm Ichigo's length, he elicited more moans of pleasure and pain.

When he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he sunk his nails into Byakuya's back and looked adoringly into the man's eyes, "Byakuya, say my name…just once," he pleaded as the man continued to rhythmically thrust into him.

With the sound of his name existing the boys lips in such a sultry manner, Byakuya was sent over the edge, moaning Ichigo's name repetitively as he filled the man. "Ichi-go, Ichigo..Ichgio.."

With his release, his body went limp from hours of exsertion, making him collaps onto the younger man. To Ichigo's surprise, Byakuya wrapped the man in his arms, both laying there in complete silence while enjoying the after glow. Neither needed to say anything to express the magic they had just created. Instead, they both fell asleep in each others arms, still hoping for internal night fall

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The sound of light knocking awoke Byakuya from his tranquility. One of his servants was apologizing from the other side of the door, explaining that his breakfast was waiting and they waited as long as possible to wake him.

Byakuya merely grumbled out something indiscernible, still keeping his eyes shut tightly, still to subdued by sleep to fully take in the events of the pervious night.

It wasn't until he sank deeper into a pair of comforting arms and felt the tickle of soft orange locks on his face, that his memories came flooding back. After a brief epoch of peaceful warmness, Byakuya jolted up, remembering this wasn't how he usually woke up.

Despite his immediate shock and a sudden punch of regret, Byakuya found him self not wanting to wake the sleeping boy beside him. Instead, the drained features and disheveled hair became the cynosure of Byakuya's heart and eyes as he watched Ichigo turn on his side, instinctively wrapping his arms around the noble, and caressing Byakuya's broad chest with his silky hair. The simplicity of the moment yielded an affection and yearning that was effervescent inside of the man, almost bubbling over and sending his whole body aquiver. It had been so long since he had felt such an instinctual draw to another human. Turning Ichigo aways seemed to betraying his hearts wants, yet Byakuya was a man of mind over matter. Still, despite his protest to the contrary, the echoing of loneliness that rippled through his heart and flowed through his extremities was all telling.

Turning Ichigo away would be the easy part because Byakuya knew it was in both of their best interest. It was his hearts new infliction that he would find hard to swallow, for it was usually so desolate, inhabitable by anything but a void. In fact, very few people had stuck pin hole sized punctures into the dusty organ, allowing a little light to flow into Byakuya's cold demeanor, but this was so much bigger than a pin hole. Byakuya's heart was gapping, completely turned upside down by the boy lying beside him. From that moment forward, he knew he would have to share his heart, mind, and soul with the thoughts of Ichigo's warm presence. Behind his ridged exterior and distant eyes, there Ichigo would be, in the form of a recurring thought or the pang of loneliness, his presence had marred the noble. He understood him self well enough to grasp the feelings he was having, and though he was still steadfast in his mission to distance the two, Byakuya knew he had never felt such an attachment since Hisana.

Taking in the felicity for one last fleeting moment, Byakuya sat up in his bed and shook Ichigo's shoulder firmly, watching the sleepy eyes peel open slowly while he tried to take in the events of last night, still confused from his slumber and raging hangover.

Before Ichigo's eyes could even reach Byakuya's, his desultory limbs flung a blanket over his face, blocking out the intensity of the sun, which only aided his headache. "God, I feel like I've been hit by a bus," Ichigo groaned.

It wasn't until he heard Byakuya's serious voice say, "Kurosaki, you need to get dressed," that Ichigo fully realized what had occurred.

As the memories of the passion filled night came flooding back, Ichigo frantically threw the blanket off of his head and looked at Byakuya in a complete stupor. "Shit," he cursed meekly, "that wasn't a dream."

Seeing Ichigo was fully awake, Byakuya removed him self from his bed and began to get ready. Unfortunately, with a captains meeting happing shortly, he didn't have enough time to wash away the residue of their love making, a smell of which only made this whole thing harder. "It's time for you to leave, we have a captains meeting within the hour," Byakuya reminded, barely able to keep his eyes on the young man.

Ichigo blinked in surprise as he took in the man's cold demeanor, still he managed to tease, "Isn't it customary f

or you, to like, make me breakfast after these types of things?"

It wasn't as if Ichigo completely forgot what the noble had told him the night before, this was a one time deal. So he didn't know what he expected. All he knew was, Byakuya's usual coldness had returned with a vengeance for reasons unbeknown to him. Perhaps it was naive of him, but he at least thought they could maintain a friendship of sorts, and that maybe one day, Byakuya would change his mind. Ichigo was now painfully aware of his feelings towards the man, perhaps he didn't understand how far those feelings reached, but he knew they didn't just dissipate with the rising of the sun. He wasn't even sure if he wanted a relationship with this man. Sure, he had seen a more gentle side of him, but there was still so much left to discover. Only now, Byakuya has regressed even further into his detachment.

Byakuya gave a light scoff, still adverting his eyes as he began dressing. "Do you not remember what I told you last night? This was a one time thing, a favor I did for your sake. Please remove those childish notions from your brain."

Ichigo scrunched his eyes brows and got up from his place on the bed, gathering his clothes while indulging in a brief moment of pensive silence. Now it was Ichigo's turn to scoff, "So what? You're trying to tell me you got no pleasure from last night, that it was all just one big pity fuck?" His voice was offend, yet soft, unable to fully express his anger out of fear it would only worsen the pounding in his head.

Byakuya clenched his fist tightly before sighing deeply. The man could barley look at Ichigo, for he knew it would only make this whole decision harder. He knew how harsh and sever he was being, but with out that, he wouldn't be able to drive a wedge between the two. A wedge he would need to forget these indecent feelings, feelings of affection that had penetrated his heart, despite his own reasoning.

Also, he didn't want Ichigo harboring any residual feeling for him either. He wanted this to be clean cut and for the young man to find someone better suited for him. Perhaps if he was harsh enough, his words would banish any feelings Ichigo thought he had for him. He would realize just how heartless Byakuya could be.

"Of course," he grunted out, his voice stifled by frustration. "Of course, I enjoyed it. However, thats as far as my attachment goes. It was purely a physical reaction, I have no need for you to be hanging around me. We're not friends and we're especially not lovers."

Ichigo stood in an perplexed silence, wondering what he had done to justify such coldness. It wasn't as if he was asking Byakuya to be his, so why was he being so cruel? Now jumping into his pants, he found his words,"You know, I don't expect anything from you, but I never thought you'd be so fucking icy." Both Ichigo and Byakuya cringed at the words, though Byakuya's reaction was hidden away, seeing as he was preoccupied with looking at anything but Ichigo.

The noble spoke somberly, yet with the same ridged detachment, "That's what you get for making assumptions."

Before Ichgio could reply, another light knock came to the door. "Once again, I'm very sorry Kuchiki-sama, but your sister, Lady Kuchiki, is waiting for you in the dinning hall. She came to eat breakfast with you before your meeting."

At the women's words, Ichigo and Byakuay jolted as an unnerving amount of silence fell between the two. Byakuay found his words, "Yes, tell her I'll be there momentarily."

Suddenly, Byakuya spun on his heels to see a fully dressed Ichigo, quickly his eyes darted around the room before he proclaimed, "You must leave now…" Looking around once more, he continued, "Out the window."

Ichigo's eyes widened with malice, though he understood Byakuya not wanting Rukia to find him here, the mere idea of him shamefully climbing out the window like some mistress made him feel dirty and oh so wrong. Seething, he responded, "Are you fucking kidding me? Out the window? What am I, a fucking teenager?" At the sight of Byakuya cocking his eye brow, Ichigo demanded, "don't answer that." Shaking his head in disbelief, he placed on his shoes and readied him self to go, muttering out his frustration in the process. "Climbing out the damn window, what the hell... You really are some class act, ya know that… So fucking noble and upstanding, treating me this way after what we did," he grunted out, now opening the window.

Byakuya spoke once more, this time his tone was a little more docile, yet his words just as harsh. "Did I not tell you that you would regret this decision?"

Ichigo looked back at the noble one last time before replying. "Nah- It's not the sex I regret, I regret thinking I saw more in you than coldness. How wrong was I?" With those finally words of bitter resentment, Ichigo flash stepped away.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Byakuya arrived in his dinning room looking more together than he felt. He could still feel Ichigo on him and smell the lingering scent of Ichigo's natural body odor.

As he entered, he saw Rukia passively pushing food around on her plate. She was so somber and zoned out that she didn't even notice Byakuya's arrival.

The noble felt like guilt was ripping through his insides, for he understood what was causing such a sad look. Despite wanting to comfort his sister, it seemed oh so wrong and hypocritical after last night. It wasn't as if he didn't take his sisters feelings into consideration, his selfish lust just overcame his logical mind and, even knowing how his sister felt for Ichigo, he completely caved. At the time, Byakuya justified it by telling him self it was only once, and she'd never find out. Besides, rather they slept together or not, Ichigo wasn't changing his mind about Rukia. Even so, despite all of his justification, he couldn't help but feel abhorrent guilt at his sisters anguished features.

Finally, Rukia took notice of the man. With on cheek resting in her hand, she let her glazed eyes glance up from her plate for a single moment before adverting her eyes back. "Oh, Nii-san, you're here," she observed meekly, "I was wondering what took you so long."

After a lackluster greeting, the noble took a seat in the chair parallel to her, quickly beginning to eat his breakfast. The two sat in silence while they ate, merely exchanging glances every once in a while. Byakuya already knew what was afflicting Rukia and asking would only make him feel more guilt, yet he truly cared for his sister and knew it was unlike him to not inquire about her well being when she seemed down.

Finishing his meal, he looked at the girl, who had only taken three bites since the mans's arrival. Now feeling more concerned, Byakuya resolved to see if she wanted to talk, yet knowing her, she would rather keep it to her self.

To his surprise, Rukia looked up from her plate sheepishly and asked, "Nii-san, you didn't happen to see ichigo last night, did you?"

A jolt of dread filled the man as he swallowed a dry lump in his throat, however, being the king of composure that he was, he didn't show an inkling of his discomfort. It also helped that she wasn't seemingly mad, or talking in an accusatory tone, it seemed as if she was genuinely curios."No, why do you ask?"

Rukia slumped her shoulders and adverted her eyes back to her plate. "Well, you must of felt him at least. Last night, I could scenes his spiritual pressure running rampant.." The reserved girl blushed slightly, "It wasn't like anything I've ever felt from him before, it was so…lust-filled. Quite a few people are talking about it, saying it was the type of pressure that makes people want to get all hot and heavy…" Her sentence trailed off as she dawned a look of humiliation. She had almost forgot who she was talking to, yet she continued, needing someone to vent to, "Most people didn't seem to recognize it as Ichigo's pressure, but I realized it right away."

Dawning a stone face that was in stark contrast to his inner turmoil, he responded flatly, "I didn't feel a thing. I suppose, where ever he was releasing that amount of pressure from was to far away for me to sense it my self. Though I can't complain about that, I rather not be bothered by his obtrusive spiritual pressure." Byakuya found him self relived that he could easily mask his spiritual pressure, even in such euphoric times.

Rukia had heard her brother's words but was seemingly in her own world as she stared off. "Yeah.." she muttered, "I just wonder what caused it..maybe he was with someone else.."

As her sentence trailed off, Byakuya burrowed his eyes into her distant expression, "Rukia, is there something you need to talk about?"

Byakuya was caught off guard when the girl started spilling her guts, it was as if her sadness has been reaching it's boiling point. "Oh, brother, I'm sorry," she muttered out with her face in her hands, to humiliated to look at the raven haired man.

"The only thing you should be sorry about is your horrible manners. If you're going to address me, please do so without your hands in your face." The man gave a supercilious turn of his nose before his tone dissolved into something much more docile, "Now, you know you can speak to me openly. What do you feel the need to apologize about?"

Lifting her flushed face from her hands, Rukia belted out as quickly as possibly, "Because I told Ichigo I was in love with him and he rejected me! It was horribly embarrassing. I acted like some jealous brat and told him to leave."

Byakuya had known this was coming, which made it that much easier to keep his composed temperament. "Why would you need to apologizing for something like that?"

Bitting her lip sheepishly, Rukia responded, "Because, I know how you feel about him. I mean, I know you don't hate him like he thinks you do, but I also know that he's probably the last person you'd want me infatuated with.

Pursing his lips in contemplation, Byakuya gave his sister a still, yet compassionate look. "I'll admit, he certainly wouldn't be my first choice, but I can't imagine there are many people who would live up to my standards for you." He adverted his eyes momentarily, pushing back an erotic memory from the previous night, "but I suppose, the heart wants what the heart wants, you can't help who captivates it." Byakuya's words were all telling, not to Rukia, but to him self. It was as if he was giving him self advise, along with his sister.

Now finding his train of thought, he continued, "It hurts when affection isn't retuned, but if it's not, that just means Kurosaki isn't the suitor for you. With time, you'll find a much better match, trust me." Byakuay wiped his face gracefully before standing.

Though the advise seemed somewhat obvious and shallow, Rukia knew her brother was right, time heals all wounds. With that, she stood up beside her brother and prepared to leave for their meeting, giving him a hopeful smile as they walked.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys, I wanted to thank you for reading my story as always, but I also wanted to thank all the Byakuya X Ichigo shippers because they need so much more love than they get. I totally get their a crack ship, but I still think their just presh', completely Ying and Yang, both having just what the other needs to bring out their best! Any way, I'll stop fan girl-ing now. :) This chapter is more about Ichigo and his inner dialogue while he's trying to figure out how he feels for Byakuya and him self. He starts off a little rocky, but it's to be expected, the poor guys going thought a lot, but he eventually figures out just how he feels and wants to do, hence the chapters title. I know I said these chapters would not be to long, but I just can't help my self! Please keep up with the reviews, I take all my readers opinions in consideration, of course, at the end of the day I'll write what I think is best for the story, but I still try and listen to everyones thoughts.**

 **Good vibes!**

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" _I am the water in a puddle in the shade of a tree_

 _When I freeze over, you are the sun_

 _You cannot touch me, and the tree feels bad._

 _I can tell by the way that it felt,_

 _But it still won't move, so, the ice won't melt._

 _No, it still won't move, so, the ice won't m_ elt." - _The Front Bottoms "Legit Tattoo Gun"_

 **Resoluteness**

A flash of orange hair jolted through the eight squad's barracks and straight into the captain's quarters. Smoking from anger, the frantic Ichigo hurried to get ready. To the captain's dismay, like Byakuya, he also had no time to wash off the smell of their erotic endeavor. He felt muddied by Byakuya's spiritual pressure.

As he dawned him self in his haori, he caught a strong whiff of cherry blossoms, causing him to grimace and drench him self in cologne. "Geez, that fucking guy _is_ a sakura tree," he cursed, continuing to hastily get ready, all the while huffing and groaning about the morning's events.

"Fucking Byakuya, what a prick," he stemmed on, "I'm going to kick his fucking ass one of these days, just wait."

After he was finished getting ready and bathing in any smell that wasn't Byakuya Kuchiki, Ichigo took a deep relaxing sigh and thought to him self, ' _whatever, it's not like we were close. He doesn't mean anything to me.'_ With that, he took his time walking to the meeting, dreading having to see Byakuya so soon after what had occurred between the two of them. Despite trying to push the lingering thoughts of the noble and his ruthless words out of his head, just as he concluded in his drunken stupor, Byakuya wasn't going to be thought away.

Ichigo felt the same turbulent waves of humiliation, anger, and sadness as he had the night before, only instead of being interchangeable, they all seemed to form a pit in his stomach, sending him reeling. He felt aloof and naive for believing Byakuya would indulge even a friendship with him, yet he felt equally heated that Byakuya had been so merciless with his words, because no matter how naive he was, he knew he didn't deserve what had transpired that morning. What was that? Half of Ichigo wanted to believe that this was some game Byakuya enjoyed to play, that other people's feelings were of such low significance that he would manipulate their emotions, make them feel as if he was secretly charming, caring, and warm even, only to show his true colors after he conquered his prey. Though, even through his furious state, and raging hangover, Ichigo knew that didn't add up. Ichigo was the one who had pushed him self in, he was extremely assertive, if not boarding on aggressive. He pushed Byakuya into drinking together, he had pushed the sex, he had initiated the whole evening. Not to mention Byakuya's straight forwardness, if he was trying to manipulate him the whole time, then what was the point of making sure Ichigo was aware that would be their only time? It just didn't add up, still, what was Ichigo suppose to think? What was the other alternative for Byakuya's capricious behavior? Ichgio was unsure, but with his pounding head and queasy stomach mixed with a cornucopia of emotions, he decided that the only thing that made sence was that Byakuya was a heartless player, a magnificent one at that, no more than an elitist who felt entitled to stomp on people's emotions.

Ironically enough, the apathy Ichigo had despised so much had dissipated into a copious amount of emotions, and Ichigo found him self slightly missing the numb tingling of his indifference. And that resolute sadness he had oh so naively wished for, it was equally burrowing in his stomach, his lungs and heart in the clutches of melancholy, being twisted until Ichigo felt a literal aching echoing through him. What was this feeling? Was he actually heart broken over Byakuya?

At the thought, Ichigo wanted to kick his own ass, feeling like he was somehow weak. As much as he despised it, it wasn't that surprising. Byakuya wasn't just Ichigo's fist, he was also the first person Ichigo had ever wanted with such an honest earnestness, the fist person Ichigo had felt romantic feelings for, and the first person who had ignited a flam that had been dwindling rapidly since his arrival to the Soul Society. Byakuya had changed his life and was the cause of so many new revelations about himself, yet by all appearances, he truly hated Ichigo. How could that not hurt? It hurt in such a way that Ichigo was left marred, baring an invisible scar that stung at the mere thought of the raven haired beauty.

Along with his wavering emotional state came a pleater of questions. What was he going to tell Rukia? How would he act around Byakuya? Most quintessential, what _was_ Ichigo, was he gay or were his feelings strictly brought on because it was Byakuya? Both options were rather unappealing. Either he had been gay and had never noticed it, or something about the heartless Kuchiki elicited those feelings from him. Both seemed difficult to swallow. It wasn't as if Ichigo had a problem with being gay, not particularly anyway. It was just, in light of all the recent adjustments, something this complex and taboo was not the answers he had been looking for. life would be supremely breezier if he was attracted to women, to Rukia. Yet, instead, he wanted the ever elusive, enigmatic beauty that was Byakuya Kuchiki, he wanted the glacier like man, and his honest smiles, and witticism, and snarky compassion that was unique to him. He wanted a person that he wasn't even sure really existed. For their moment of chemistry was seemingly all a lie, yet he couldn't help but still yearn for it. He couldn't hate Byakuya, and that's what made him the most vexed. The man actually drew emotion out of him, good, bad or ugly, he admittedly was grateful to the noble. If it wasn't for him, it was anyones guess how long Ichigo would have fallen victim to his indifference, perhaps until there was no fire left.

Now that fire was revved up with the idea of punching something, Ichigo felt an immediate need to release some stress, he resolved to make Renji his sparing partner/punching bag after the meeting. Despite the sadness he felt, he was allowing his anger to take the lead in hopes of ignoring all else, so he could eventually dislike Byakuya the way the noble disliked him.

A meager sigh of relief left the new captain's lips as he saw Byakuya nor Rukia had arrived yet. Every second not dealing with the awkwardness of that situation and the unsolicited emotions that would accompany it, was a moment of peace. Yet, the evanescent moment of relief ended with the sudden arrival of the opulent noble gliding in, looking as unbothered and refined as ever, with Rukia and Renji both following behind.

At the sight of the group, Ichigo's alcohol lined stomach was fluttering nervously, causing the man to be hit by a wave of total nausea and dizziness. Not to mention, his body was now naturally cleansing out the alcohol, sending sake scented cold sweats coursing through him. He couldn't help but feel a ting of relief knowing what a boozer Shunsui was, he wasn't the type of man to call him out for his pitiful state. Forget trying to maintain a composed look, he was more concerned with not throwing up in front of every captain and lieutenant in the Gotei. He wanted to look just as unflappable as Byakuya, yet settled that sick looked better than sad. With a pale face and trembling knees, Ichigo kept his eyes glued to the ground in hope to keep his head from spinning.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

All the captains and lieutenants were lined up accordingly, talking amongst them selves. Like always, Shunsui would stagger in at the last moment with his usual breezy swagger, a disposition that would normally make Byakuya cringe if he didn't know the captain-commander to be much more competent and proficient than he looked.

Rukia, whom was standing beside Byakuya, scowled slightly and bowed her head meekly before looking back to Renji, who was standing behind his captain, and over to the sickly Ichigo. "He won't even look at me," she scoffed before her face lit up with a hue of embarrassment. "This is humiliating, and now he doesn't even want to talk to me."

"Yeah, well Id probably be a little embarrassed too if you went all super saiyan seductress on me." The spiky haired lieutenant cringed internally, not wanting to have to listen to another one of Rukia's venting sessions about her unrequited love for the new captain. It was a topic that had became somewhat of a ritual, an always looming subject that Rukia seemed to dwell on. Though they were life long friends, and as much as he wanted to be there for her, Rukia's aloofness to his feelings made him irritable and debased. ' _Tch- what am I to her anyway? One of her fucking girlfriends?'_ , he cursed to him self. He was always the valiant and chivalrous best friend, always there to listen, always there to let her get sloppy drunk and rant without judgment, only to always safely return the barely conscious girl home and get her to bed without ever crossing any boundaries. Renji was the definition of a nice guy, yet with that, he wasn't just in the friend zone, he was _the_ friends zone. A lot of good his niceness got him, just a raging headache from listing to the nonsensical whines of a drunk girl, a girl who never once stopped to consider that maybe, just possibly, this nice guy felt the same way for her that she did for Ichigo. Though, after all this time, it seemed painfully obvious.

Rolling his eyes, he looked over to the new captain and took notice of the mounds of sweat perspiring from his off-colored face, his wobbling legs, glazed over orbs plastered to the floor, and the way he cradled his stomach like someone would hold a child. "Uh, Rukia, I think he's sick," he pointed slightly at the feeble stature trying to hold him self up.

Rukia, who had equally been avoiding eye contact with the man, finally gave him a good hard look. Renji was right, Ichigo looked absolutely awful, completely subdued by sickness.

Renji looked up at his captain only to notice something perplexing, Byakuya had been giving discrete glances towards the sick man, and thought his face held the same stone like coldness, there was something more instinctual shinning through, a glimmer of concern. Almost no one else would have taken notice, but seeing as Renji had been by Byakuya's side for so long, he could read him better than the noble would ever like to admit. Though Renji would never verbally express it, he could almost always call Byakuya's bluffs. Renji could tell that something was off with him and that it somehow involved Ichigo.

By this point, Byakuya had felt more guilt in a day than he had in the last decade of his life. Though he inwardly reprimanded the boy for not being more responsible and drinking within his limits, he also felt a great mound of responsibility, something very much unlike him. _'Has he even ate? Of course not, I ran him off with such little time to spare.'_ Byakuya couldn't help but think of the things he should of done, he should have made sure Ichigo ate, drank water, he should of insisted he showered, if only to work some of the alcohol out of his system. He was fully aware of just how young and inexperienced Ichigo was, but in the light of his own feelings, he thought of nothing other than getting far away from the boy. Yet, that didn't deter the echoing sensation of guilt and concern he felt as he saw Ichigo struggling to stand, obviously suffering from low blood sugar as an effect of the drinking and no eating.

"That pressure last night, I thought the boys were goin' to beat the living shit out of each other, just to work out the tension," Zaraki bellowed with his usual maniacal smile in place.

The new captain of the fourth division, a lithe man with green hair and silver eyes, nodded in agreement and gave a slight blush. "Yes, my squad doesn't even get involved in combat, but I believe they had the same idea. I don't think I've ever seen such a large group of people so fluster. My, my, it was something."

The always grinning Shinji added, "All I know is, whoever was releasing that pressure was _sureeee_ having more fun than any of us," a comment to which Ichigo scowled at before dry heaving in Shinji's direction. Looking concerned and a little grossed out, Shinji asked, "uh, yo, Kurosaki-san, you okay?"

Holding his stomach while pushing back nausea, he groaned in response, "define okay."

Letting out a booming chuckle, Zaraki speculated, "maybe it was Kurosaki letting out all that pressure, looks like ya' had one hell of a night."

"Yeah right," Ichigo spat out with as much moxie as his aliment would allow for. "Just because I'm a little sick doesn't me I won't kick your ass, Kenpachi. So, shut your damn mouth."

"Ha! any time, any where." Pausing a moment to take in Ichigo's extremely frail stature, he added, "but it won't be no challenge with you like that, you can barely stand, you pussy."

Before ichigo could come back with another half-baked indigent tirade, Nano had flash stepped right in front of him, dawning a disappointed scowl. "Captain Kurosaki-sama," she huffed loudly, well it was loud to Ichigo, her voice felt like a hammer beating down on his occipital lobe.

"Ahh, why ya' gotta be so loud?" he moaned out, rubbing his temples melodically.

Reaching into her uniform, she pulled out a flask and dangled it in front of the new captain. "Here, captain-commander told me to give this to you." With that, Ichigo looked up, eyes squinted from there oversensitivity to light, now seeing Nano holding a flask begrudgingly, and Shunsui talking with Byakuya. Seeing his confused face, Nano continued, "You're lucky he's such a boozer, this is something he has the fourth division make for him, it's an elixir that helps with hangovers," sighing in disappointment, she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I always keep one on me because I know how he _is._ When he came in, he immediately noticed your.." she searched to find the correct words, "..aliment, and told me to give you the elixir."

"It's that obvious, huh?" Ichigo asked meekly.

Shinji responded for Nano, "Rather you got really drunk last night or you enjoy starting your day with a nice sake bath."

The young many merely grunted in response, feeling quite incapable of forming words, and went to grab the elixir, to which Nano snatched back. "But this comes with a warning, Captain Kurosaki-sama, you need to learn your limits or stop drinking before meetings, the captain-commander may not think it's a big deal but it is, you're a member of the-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he groaned out. "Cant I have the damn elixir without a lecture." He once again rubbed his temples, "if you're trying to teach me some lesson by being loud and obnoxious, I get it."

Nano gave a sharp glare over the top of her glasses, still holding the elixir out of reach. With a scowl, she reminded, "ya' know, I'm not as nice as captain-commander is, I don't _have_ to give you this."

At this, Ichigo grimaced and put his hands in a praying fashion, "sorry, sorry, I'm an ass hole when I don't feel good." He moaned out, almost in a whine, "ugh, can you please take pity on me, I'm pretty sure I'm dying."

"Yeah," Kenpachi wailed out, giving Ichigo a forceful shove in the shoulder, "be nice to the guy, he's worn out from releasing all that pressure last night." Ichigo just scowled at the remark, to raddled by Kenpachi's shove and yell to respond with much vigor.

With a roll of her eyes, Nano flung the elixir in the air with a flick of her wrist and spun on her heels to leave. Ichigo grappled with the air born bottle, having to grab for it multiple times before it landed in his hands safely. "Woo," he exasperated, feeling sick from the movement. Opening the flask, he thought out loud, "I wonder if this will really help?"

The new fourth division captain put up an index finger and nodded, "of course, drink that, and you'll be right as rain. It's kidou based, so, it's much stronger than anything you'll find in the living world.

With a shrug of the shoulder, Ichigo replied, "can't possibly make me any worse," and down the hatch it went.

Rukia and Renji had been talking well within ear shot of Byakuya, but his concern for the boy made him drown out their conversation, or much of anything else. Byakuya was brought from his inner plight by the strong hand of Shunsui landing on his shoulder. The opulent man glared up with his stone cold orbs looking like a calm sea of murky gray, only to see the jaunty smile of the buoyant commander. "Captain-Commander, Kyoraku-sama.

Shunsui replied with a sly grin, "always so formal, lighten up, Kuchiki-san!" He let out a light hearted chuckle while taking note of Byakuya quickly glancing over to where Ichigo and Nano stood. Still dawning a smile, he said knowingly, "don't worry about Kurosaki, Nano's giving him an elixir I use to help with hangovers, It usually works instantly."

Scrunching his eye brows pointedly at the man, he spoke in a flat, yet serious tone, "the moment I start concerning my self with Kurosaki's well being will be the same day you put down the bottle…Besides, it probably works instantly for you because of your copious amount of experience."

Undeterred by the man's annoyed attitude, Shunsui just gave the noble a good humored slap on the back before changing the subject, "that really was some spiritual pressure last night, I'm sure even an obstinate guy like your self was effected by something that humid."

Byakuya merely scoffed, "I'm not easily tainted by such things," came the reply. He was finding lying about these things rather simple in practice, but over all damaging to his nerves and conscious.

"Huh, I thought you may know something about it because," he gave a smirk, "you smell different, kind of like the earth after it rains. It's familiar."

"Do you make it a habit of knowing how every member of the Gotei smells or am I a special case?" Byakuya replied sardonically, trying to assess what the commander was implying, "any way, it's just different cologne, not that it's any of your business," he fibbed.

Leaning in to where only Bykauya could hear, he whispered, smirk still in place, "I didn't know Kurosaki-san bottled his scent," At the man's knowing words, Byakuya jolted back, to which Shunsui just gave a light chuckle and a devil-may-care grin before continuing, "but like you said, it's none of my business." With a wink of the eye, he walked towards the front of the room.

Byakuya shook off the uneasy feeling Shunsui's comment gave him. Even if he thought he knew something, it was only speculation, besides, Shunsui was the type of man to mock Byakuya about it privately while never letting anyone else on to his hunch. At least the noble could be grateful for that.

The man let his gaze find Ichigo once more, he couldn't help but think about the man, for as he concluded last night, Ichigo had infected his mind. A slight warmness, and an internal smile grew within the noble as he took notice of Ichigo looking completely better, but that wasn't all that brought about that warmness. He no longer looked indifferent, there was some weird cocktail of irritation, and relief with a dash of sadness plastered on his face. Unlike Byakuya, he didn't do so well with keeping his face in check, his eyes and body language told all, but despite those emotions being anger and sadness, emotions brought on by Byakuya him self, the onyx haired man couldn't help but internally indulged in the warmth of Ichigo's returned flame.

Though with that warmth came a longing to be closer to it, to let him self get burnt by the blazing heat, but Byakuya was resolved in his decision. He tried to banish the tenacious thoughts of Ichigo, if only while in his presence. Memories of their short lived dalliance only made it that much harder to ignore the new captain. Though, even without the memories, there was always something about the boy's essence that made him impossible to ignore.

Just like the fourth division captain had claimed, Ichigo felt better almost instantly. For a transitory moment, Ichigo was so elated that he could once again look at lights and move his body without having the threat of permanently being remembered as the loser who threw up in the meeting hall, that he'd almost forgotten why he had been so upset. Yet, once he looked across the room, he quickly remembered the reason for his vexation, as it was standing right in front of him, looking as cold faced and debonair as ever. The new captain dawned a deep scowl, Byakuya's face was like salt on his fresh wound, only made worse by a crestfallen Rukia wearing a face that Ichigo knew to be one of her many defense mechanisms.

The only person he would consider talking to about this, he couldn't. He knew sleeping with her brother was a colossal screw up, especially right after what had transpired between them, It was like adding insult to injury. What right did Ichigo have to her sympathy? He'd be lucky if Rukia would even face him again. In the heat of the moment, she was utterly humiliated and wasn't thinking straight, but still, who knew how long that Kuchiki pride would up hold. So, Ichigo knew to just give her some space, at least for a little while. When the ice queen thawed out she would come to him.

More so, he was pissed at how easily Byakuya could look refined, and unshakable. He entered with the same supercilious saunter as pre usual, only magnified by the detachment he wore on his face. The noble did this all while still looking effortlessly beautiful. That thought only inflamed his irritation, Byakuya treated him like insignificant trash, yet Ichgio still couldn't get over how breathtakingly beautiful the man was. It also didn't help how seemingly unaffected the noble was, completely composed and cold, never once letting Ichgio catch his sparing glances. The new captain cringed at how stupid he had been. For Byakuya to not have even the slightest inkling of conscious, to not vacillate or waver in his animosity or insensitivity even once, to not yield a scintilla of unease after they had shared such an intimate experience, Ichigo wasn't sure if he had feelings at at. At least that's what Ichigo was telling him self, trying to somehow trick him self out of these brand new feelings.

In light of his returned agitation, he impatiently shifted in his spot, anxious for a good spar. It was that or challenge Byakuya to a duel, and there was no way that would end without one or both of them dead, so he opted for the more rational decision. The meeting was uneventful and short, much to Ichigo's relief. After the meeting ended, Ichgio waited for everyone else to clear out before he exited the meeting hall. A maniacal grin grew on his face as he saw Renji still standing in front of the halls arch ways. He sauntered over, fully anticipating to drag Renji off to the eight division training grounds, not taking no for an answer, but Ichigo's eagerness was brought to a stand still as he took in a jolting sight. Byakuya was standing with Rukia, he patted her head lightly and smiled. Ichigo blinked rapidly, wondering if he was having some weird hallucinogenic side effect from the elixir. Still, the smile stayed for a few more fleeting moments that seemed to move in slow motion, each second captured by the captivated boy. It was the same earnest, honest, and simple smile of comfort the noble had given him, it even shifted the spiritual pressure in the air around him, just as it did when he gave it to Ichigo. The new captain couldn't help but to blush at the sensation, only to let out a humiliated scowl when he caught him self. This wasn't right, Byakuya wasn't suppose to have feelings, his comfort was all part of some bull shit scheme, thats what Ichigo had to tell him self, nothing else made sense.

Yet, it sent his mind reeling, seeing that smile and feeling the slight change in his spiritual pressure, Ichigo knew it wasn't something that could be simulated, meaning his affection towards Ichigo couldn't have been completely fake. How could that be? Ichigo tried to shake the thought away, he didn't want to care, he just wanted to forget anything had ever happened in the first place

As they exited the meeting hall, Byakuya felt the sensation of guilt spear him as he saw Rukia slumping her shoulders and dropping the fictitious look of indifference that she had worn all through the meeting. Walking up beside the girl, he first looked down at her with severe eyes before patting the top of her head affectionately. With a slight smile, he said with genuine concern, "you did good, you'll be okay."

Once again, his words of concern were short and didn't seem to hold much wisdom, but that was only how it appeared on the surface. Such an affectionate gesture was so rare from the noble, that Rukia understood how authentic and earnest the words were. The sentimental moment came to an abrupt stop when Ichigo stormed right past them, and extracted Renji form the group with a forceful yank of the forearm.

Both the noble and Rukia watched in confusion as a indignantly and bellowing Renji was being dragged away, screaming out, 'what the fuck's' and something about, 'who do you think you're dragging around like this?'

The fiery captain just bellowed back, "we're sparing! You're always running your mouth about wanting to fight, so cram it!"

A puzzled Rukia looked up at her brothers unreadable face as he sighed slightly. "Nii-sama, arntcha' going to stop him? I thought Renji had a lot of work to attend to."

With an indifferent face and a flat voice, he responded, "It's suppose to be his day off anyway."

"But ever since the war, with how many soldiers we lost, no ones been granted a day off," came the confused response.

Adverting his cold orbs pensively, he responded arrogantly, "call it a once in a life time phenomenon, I actually took pity on someone, it will likely never happened again."

At Byakuya's supercilious demeanor, Rukia beamed, "Nii-sama, you can be so nice sometimes."

"I said I pitted him, I haven't completely gone insane," he growled slightly before shaking his head and heading back to his division. Admittedly, it wasn't Renji Byakuya was concerned for, it was Ichigo. With Rukia to hurt and humiliated to speak to him, and after his callous rejection, Byakuya knew that Ichigo had to be feeling quite the inner turmoil. If letting his lieutenant be Ichgio's preverbal punching bag would allow him even the slightest relief, then it was the least he could do for the boy.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The sixth division lieutenant went flying backwards at the fierce and unyielding blows of Ichigo's duel swords, ending up on the floor of the eight division training ground, panting while bleeding slightly from a cut on his forearm. The fiery soul reaper had beleaguered the man into a corner, completely dominating the battle. Looking up at the sword happy Ichigo, he said with a playful smile, "I guess you've had a bad week." Renji hopped to his feet, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to kill me," letting out a sigh, he propped his zonpakuto on his shoulder. "Let's take a break, huh?"

"There are no time outs in battle," came the gruff response.

Rolling his eyes, Renji countered, "Geez, now you sound like captain, lighten up."

"Don't say shit like that. Tch- put me out of my misery if I ever sound like that walking glacier..," sighing, he continued, "aright, let's take a break."

Renji just shook his head at his friends off behavior, Ichigo was known to be a hot head, but he was abnormally aggressive today. Though the red head knew that this was Ichigo's way of talking about it, by not talking at all, and the best way to be there for him was to kick his ass, or get his ass kicked trying. At the moment, it was definitely the latter.

The new captain rolled his neck, releasing some of the tension that built up. Sparring was definitely relieving his nerves, but it didn't stomp out the pit of emotions growing inside of him. Of course, since this was his first time feeling this way, he wasn't sure what would. Yet, even being pissed off got old, but it seemed better than his other options. Ichigo had been suppressing his sad feelings with igneous anger, it seemed the easier of the two emotions to deal with, and saved him a little bit of pride. Still, he found him self wondering how long the very blatant emotion could be detained.

Handing Renji a bottle of water, he watched as the man drank some, and poured the rest down his flushed face and chest, cooling off from the sweltering heat. For the first time, Ichigo noticed something he had never once considered before, Renji had a great body. It seemed obvious, he's a lieutenant, most ranking members of the Gotei were in peak physical condition, but still, Ichigo had never once actually thought of anyones body in _anyway_. It wasn't as if it was a sexual attraction, for the thought of Renji touching him in the same way Byakuya did made the new captain want to hurl. Despite realizing just how nice of a bod Renji had, the fact that it was his goofy pineapple headed friend was what made it disgusting, not the fact he was a man. Ichigo felt like Byakuya had left him defected, he only thought about fighting and protecting before, now he was catching him self checking out his comrades. It also left him wondering why it was Byakuya over anyone else, what was so special about him?

' _What the hell is wrong with me?'_ the captain scoffed indignantly

Examining the tear in his flesh, Renji remarked, "Fuck, you're strong. I guess that's why they made you a captain, huh?"

Smirking, Ichigo teased, "you jealous, _lieutenant_?

Renji scoffed in response, "don't be stupid, that would be like being jealous of the soul king. You're some kind of human-soul reaper-quincy-hallow- I don't even know what the fuck,"

"Don't forget full bringer," Ichigo responded smugly, giving a shit eating grin.

Giving the man a sharp glare, the red head continued, "You get my point, you're like a fucking unicorn, one in a million or whatever they call it. It be a wast of my time and energy to be jealous of you."

Chugging down some water, Ichigo lets out a refreshed sigh before responding playfully. "That sounds to much like you're giving up, it's no fun beating someone who's already thrown in the towel."

With a breathy scoff, Renji countered, "you're not only talking like the captain, you're also becoming just as arrogant as him."

Giving a deep grimace, Ichigo set his jaw and said, "I'm nothing like that guy, stop fucking comparing us."

Renji gave Ichigo a peculiar look and asked, "dude, I know you two were never best friends, but I didn't know you felt this way about him. What happened?"

Ichigo just turned around, picking back up his zonpakuto while addressing Renji without eye contact, "Nothing happened..I just don't like the guy, alright? He's just full of him self, he thinks everyone and everything that doesn't have some status or money is insignificant. Tch-," he shook his head in frustration. "I can't stand people who think like that."

Renji pursed his lips thoughtfully before letting a big grin tug at his lips,"yeah, I guess he does give off that impression, huh?"

Snarling, Ichigo questioned, "that impression?"

Rubbing the back of his head kind of awkwardly, he explained with admiration, "well yeah, I know he's really harsh and serious, but I've worked with him for so long that I've seen enough glimpses into his compassionate and caring side. That's just how he is, ya' know, he doesn't show those kinds of emotions to often because he feels like they're weaknesses, but they're in there. He's just a really dedicated guy."

Ichigo scoffed indignantly and crossed his arms, "dedicated, huh? But I'm sure he makes plenty of time to take care of his own _private_ needs while leaving you his paperwork"

At the realization of what Ichigo meant by private, Renji bursted into hysterical laughter. "Where did ya' go getting an idea like that, are we even talking about the same Captain Kuchiki-sama?" After his laughter died down and he could catch his breath, he took notice of Ichigo's confused expression and began to clarify. "Captain Kuchiki is the most obstinate and chaste guy I know, usually he's in the barracks working into all hours of the night, and only gets a few hours to sleep. Now, I can't attest for what the guy does at home, but if what Rukia says about him is true, then I don't think captain has had thoughts like that in a _longgg_ time." He let out a breathy chuckle, adverting his eyes nostalgically. "This one time, I made a comment about how captain would be way chiller if he got laid…and then Rukia punched me..of course..and starting yelling about how he doesn't _do_ that. " He sat down while continuing, wondering why he was even having to explain this, and if it had something to do with the looks Byakuya had been giving Ichigo during the meeting. "Apparently, he's fairly old school, he has to have feelings for someone to want to sleep with them or even find them attractive, like, serious affection. But he doesn't do feelings like that. He's commented before that warrior's like ourselves don't need those types of distractions, ergo, he ain't doin' _those_ kinds of private things."

After the spar with Renji, Ichigo kept thinking about the insight he got into Byakuya. At first, it just agitated the new captain, it contradicted everything he had told him self about Byakuya. Yet, something about Rejin's words were starting to shift the puzzle pieces in his head, all of the jumbled pieces seemed to be working overtime to fit, forming a bigger picture that Ichigo had been to self absorbed to see. For he had been so deep into his feelings that he had been ignoring all the inconstancies, all the things that didn't make sense, just because it was easier to believe that Byakuya was some arrogant ass hole. Still, the facts that he'd been bluntly ignoring were starting to shine a light on this bigger picture forming in his head. He thought about Rukia's words, how her brother didn't want to care for anyone, that he needed to be pushed into it, he thought about the smile, about his night with Byakuya, and the genuine concern he felt emanating from the noble. Of course, Renji's words made it all to blatant for him to ignore. Perhaps he had been looking at things from a jaded point of view, he needed to change his perspective in how he thought about Byakuya's rejection.

He felt angry at him self that he had been to rash and immature to see through Byakuya's empty words. As Ichigo thought about it more, he started to finally come to the conclusion that Byakuya might have feeling for him too. He had been uncharacteristically affectionate and gentle towards Ichigo, not to mention the heart melting chemistry they seemed to have, both eliciting a full body blush every time they looked at each other to long. Renji's words about how Byakuya could only feel such lust when it was attached to feelings, and Rukia's words about how Byakuya didn't want to care about people, concreted it in his mind. Byakuya wasn't being so malice out of elitism or hatred, he was doing it because he does have feeling for Ichigo, he just doesn't want them. The denouement caused Ichigo to be quite sad, not for himself, but for Byakuya. No, he was just angry at him self, angry about how dense he could be. Still, the new captain wasn't sure how to proceed. Should he respect the obvious boundaries being set by the noble, or try to take on the mission impossible of penetrating his walls?

One thing was for certain, Ichigo had always liked a good challenge.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Two evenings after the captain's meeting, Byakuya was standing mindlessly amidst the beauty of his garden, taking in all of its simplistic tranquility. Of late, his mind had been anything but tranquil, for it had been ransacked by Ichigo's unyielding presence. Even though the noble hadn't seen him since the meeting, not an hour went by that the boy didn't pop into his mind unsolicited.

Interrupting his inner plight, Rukia flash stepped beside him, "Nii-sama, we have an emergency meeting, you've heard, right?"

Byakuya simply nodded, still staring off into the picture-esq scene of his pond. "It's in thirty minuets," he looked down at Rukia, taking note of her somewhat distant glare. The girl hadn't been the same ever since the altercation between her and Ichigo, "Is this the first time you'll see that _boy_ since the last meeting?" he asked stoically.

Rukia pursed her lips and nodded while rolling back and forth on her heels. "Yes, Nii-sama."

Giving her a look that was somewhere in-between concern-and indifference, he stated, "I see, so you still haven't forgiven him?"

Blushing slightly, Rukia waved her hands in protest. "I'm not that childish, brother! It's not a matter of forgiving him or not, it's not his fault he doesn't see me in that way, it's just…" her sentence trailed off as she grimaced, "it's humiliating."

 _'So, Ichigo really has been alone, his family probably hasn't had time to visit very often and his best friend won't speak to him. How lonely.."_ The noble had found him self engulfed in worrisome thoughts towards the boy, always considering what the status of his well being was. Byakuya would nervously contemplate if Ichigo had forgotten about him yet, if he was eating correctly, if he was still feeling that vast wasteland of loneliness that had marred him before. He felt a concoction of shame and anxiety that his cruelty could have deepened those sentiments. More than anything, he didn't want Ichigo to feel alone. The noble didn't want Ichigo to feel empty the way he often did.

"Neglecting the people you care for out of humiliation is just as childish, " Byakuya noted with his hands folded behind his back and his glare fixated into the horizon line. "He cares for you and probably misses you, just as you do with him," he now bored his serious eyes into his sister. "For I can tell it's causing you a great burden, you should mend your ties with Kurosaki." Though Byakuya may have been veiling part of his motives, his words were non the less true and sincere, for he didn't want to see Rukia in such anguish, nor did he want her becoming as cold as he was by giving up on important relationships. They were best friends, and even someone as stone cold as Byakuya knew that best friends were there to lean on during the most complicated and turbulent of times. He knew they shouldn't be apart.

At the man's words of advice, Rukia gave him a perplexed look. It wasn't so much off for Byakuay to give her advice or help comfort her. Though it almost seemed unnatural for him to be suggesting she spend more time with Ichigo. Still, she respected her brother's advice and, despite it being out of place for his usual personality, Rukia knew it was right. With docile eyes, the demure girl acquiesced meekly, "you're right, Nii-sama, I'll talk to him after the meeting."

With that simple verification, Byakuya felt his soul lighten a bit. He nodded in affirmation and stated, "let's head to the meeting."

Upon entering the meeting hall, the assemblage of soul reapers had already formed, including Ichigo. Byakuya noticed a change immediately, unlike two days prior, the blithe man dawned a lighthearted smile and a jaunty demeanor. Now he was actually indulging in breezy conversation with his comrades.

Byakuya was uncertain what caused this change in behavior, but it was the first time he had seen Ichigo this way since before the war. At the sight of the captain effluence with his returned causal confidence and nonchalant blitheness, the noble couldn't help but feel the effloresces warmth of bliss and peace of mind take over any sadness or yearning he felt for the man, at least for an ephemeral moment.

Thought, despite him feeling relief for the returned state of Ichigo's happiness, it did make it wonder what exactly brought him to this place. Perhaps he had found what he was looking for, but what could that something be? For a moment, Byakuya contemplated the possibility of Ichigo finding someones else, someone more appropriate, and that returned his yearning and sadness with a vengeance. Surely he wanted Ichigo to be happy, but no matter how much he resolved him self, Byakuya could never _not_ feel a sharp stab of pain at the image of Ichigo belonging to someone else. Still, it seemed rather unrealistic that Ichigo could have found someone new so quickly, not when he spent the last eighteen years basically lust free.

The carefree Shunsui sauntered to the front of the meeting hall, addressing the assembly with his hands folded behind his back. "I'll make this short and sweet, we know the situation in the Seireitei has been dire since the war, we're severely understaffed, because of this, hallow invasions have been put on the back burner as we've focused more on internal security, the repairs of the Seireitei, and as always, Konso is of the upmost importance. In our absence, high grade hallows have taken the opportunity to attack in unprecedented amounts, they're dozens of them. They've attack and basically destroyed distracts seventy-one and seventy-two in the Runkongai, killing hundreds of souls a day, I'm sure I don't have to explain why this can't be allowed to continue. They're moving west quickly, we believe the'll be in the seventy-four district by sunrise." Rubbing the hair of his chin thoughtfully, he smirked slightly before continuing, "Now, we have to regain dominance over the districts and let our presence be know. The hallows are taking advantage of our weakness, but we can't allow that to continue. Since this is going to be a rather difficult mission that we need completed fairly quickly, we'll be sending our best captains."

Clearing his throat, he spoke seriously, "Captain Kuchiki-san, Captain Kurosaki-san, split your divisions into two competent groups, I'd suggest leaving behind a lieutenant to handle the team that stays behind in the Seireitei, but I'll leave that to your digression. As you both know, where each platoon use to be made up of hundreds of solders, we're now averaging about twenty fiver per division, leaving most of the officer seats open. We can't offered for two whole divisions to be gone with the copious amount of work that needs to be done, yet we need two extremely competent officers to handle such a large in flow of Espada grade hallows and to restore dominance, seeing as most of your platoons are made up of low ranking solders who can't handle a high grad hallow on their own, you'll both be needed.

Byakuya was hiding a face of anguish behind a composed glare while the buoyant Ichigo just smirked, feeling pretty honored to be considered one of the best captains.

"Hold on just a minuet," Zaraki interrupted rather rudely. "You consider blossom boy and the kid the best captains? Tch- talking about a fucking insult." The captain had been bored and was itching for combat, this sounded like the perfect opportunity, so, he spoke up.

Despite finding Zaraki's scene brash and unattractive, Shinji had to agree, "Not to sound like I'm defending this big ol' gorilla, but wouldn't someone like Captain Kenpachi-san squad be more proficient, seeing as they're a primarily combat squad? This guy could probably peel off all of the hallows before the sun even rises." He mumbled under his breath, "and actually find it enjoyable."

"I agree. My skills are better suited for the work within the Seireitei, Captain Kenpachi-san should go in my place." Though it was uncharacteristic of him to cut down his own abilities, nor to refute orders, Ichigo was the last person he wanted to be working with on a mission. Even if it would only be for a couple of days, and if they'd be surrounded by other squad member, spending any time together so soon after their affair would only bring back already insistent memories.

"What are you saying? You don't think you can handle it, _Byakuya."_ The informality and intimacy of his name leaving Ichigo's lips solicited a full body response from the noble, every synapse started firing rapidly, lighting up at the stimulus that was his name being spoken in such a sultry way by the smug and very kissable mouth of Ichigo. Memories of the tryst flashed in his brain and made his heart jolt, for the euphoria from just the mere memory way almost to much to control. Byakuya was subdued for an unnerving epoch of time as the atmosphere in the room became muddied with electric like tension radiating between the two, though it was unclear what was the cause of it, every member of the Gotei present in that room could feel the thick and stifling tension caused by the mere sound of Byakuya's name.

It wasn't even his surname, there was no honorfication, or any type of formality what so ever, and if Byakuya let Ichigo's slip of the tongue go, his reputation would be sullied and rumors would spread about what type of relationship the two shared. Though, he still wanted to maintain his serious indifference, becoming to upset could also leave room for skepticism when it came to the type of relationship the two had. The noble spoke with an air of insouciance as he countered, "don't place your inferiority on me, child. I'm merely thinking like a competent captain, which is what you may address me as from this point forward."

With the same devil-may-care smirk as before, Ichigo spoke with a hint of playfulness in his voice, "I'm just trying to do the same, It's apparent that if the captain-commander chose us specifically than he has his reasons."

At Ichigo's logical and no nonsense response, Byakuya almost felt embarrassed. He knew the only reason he had said anything was caused by his aversion to Ichiog's company, not because it was the _best_ decision, therefore, he had no comeback for the new captain's honesty.

Luckily, gauging the atmosphere, Shunsui took back control over the room. With one hand adjusting his hat awkwardly, the breezy man smirked and let out a chuckle before continuing. "He is right, Captain Kuchiki-san, there is more than one way to be strong. Sure, combat is very important but it's the overall skill set and mind set that makes someone a great captain. I believe everyone in this room to be indispensable assets to the Gotei thirteen, however, after much assessment, I truly believe for yourself and Kurosaki to be the most well rounded captains, the best of the best as they say. You two are oil an water, but also more alike than you may truly believe, you both have the resolve and mindset of true warriors" Now seeming a little more playful than before, the man gave a grin that just irked the stoic Byakuya. "So, don't give the kid such a hard time and you'll work fine together."

At his words, despite his complete distain for the idea, Byakuya acquiesce, knowing there was no room nor right for discussion. He would be going on this mission with Ichigo. The only relief he found was knowing that they wouldn't be completely alone together.

After a few more details, captian-commander told Ichigo and Byakuya to be prepared to leave by sunrise, after this declaration, he called the meeting to an end.

Once everyone was dismissed, Ichgio looked at Byakuya with a simple and earnest smile, it left Byakuya completely subdued and captivated as the man walked in his direction. Why was Ichigo looking at him like that, hadn't he made his disinterest blatant? Despite his cruelty and hostility to the boy, he was still giving him the same smile that he did the night of their life shaking love making. In aw of the boy's affectionate gesture, he stood completely still as he seemingly approached the noble, only to deviate his path and smile towards Rukia's, whom was standing beside her brother.

To Byakuya and Rukia's surprise, Ichigo approached the girl, who had been standing in for her very sick captain. With the same smile he'd been giving Byakuya, Ichigo said, "Rukia,"

The girl blushed slightly but held eye contact, not wanting to come off as easily humiliated. "Ichigo.." she spoke meekly, her voice filled with uncertainty.

Nodding his head towards the door of the meeting hall, he asked, "do you wanna go for a walk with me, I want to talk."

The girl apprehensively, yet immediately nodded. With that, the two were gone, leaving Byakuya as equally confused as before.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Byakuya was standing in front of a gallery of windows in his bed chambers, that over looked the walkway and entrance to his estate. Up the walkway and stopping at the steps of the estate were two figures, soon the be recognized as Ichigo and Rukia. The clandestine man watched them, reading the situation by the body language shared between the two.

They stood for a couple of minuets, both dawning slight smiles, yet their eyes were marred with a deeper sadness. Ichgio wrapped the tiny girl into a friendly embarrass, resting his chin on the girls crestfallen face. When the embrace ended, Rukia waved widely at the captain, giving him a toothy smile as he flash stepped away. Yet, as soon as he was out of her line of sight, the girl's shoulders slumped and her knees buckled. Tears began to paint her face as she pressed both of her palms to her temples, cradling her head in sorrow.

At the sight of his sister's anguish, Byakuya didn't think twice about flash stepping out to the front of the manor. Stopping a couple of yards behind his crouched sister, he looked upon her with a still, yet compassionate glare. "Rukia," the soft, yet clear name came out, shocking the girl.

Wiping her eyes with the palms of her tiny hands and quickly finding her footing, she bowed her head in shame. "Nii-sama..were you watching me?"

Ignoring her question, he simply asked, "What happened? You two seemed fine when he left, at least you seemed on better terms."

Sniffling back tears, she tried desperately to contain her composure in the same way Byakuya could. "Of course, I was smiling. He was so nice," she shook her head, trying to get out the words that were stuck in her tight throat. "He apologized for the way everything happened..he told me he missed me and needed me in his life…that he just wanted to give me some time. How could I not be happy when that big dope was being so nice and apologetic, even when I was the one who acted childish?" She wiped tears from her face that continuously replenished themselves. "But..he also told me something else."

At this, Byakuya's throat became dry and his whole body clenched, scared that Ichigo had possibly told her about what had happened between the two of them. Thought it seemed unlikely, Byakuya knew Ichigo did care for Rukia deeply, perhaps the guilt was to much for him.

Continuing, she spoke meekly, "he said..he said he was sorry that he couldn't return my feelings, that he.." at her next words, the tears flowed more liberally, "he has strong feelings for someone else. He swore that he didn't know when I told him about my feelings, or else he would have been honest from the forefront. He said..he needed to tell me before he could go any further with that persons. I guess that's who he was with that night. How can I be mad at him or let him see me cry like this when he's being so straight forward?" Clenching her chest and down casting her face, she no longer tried to hid her sobs from her brother, unable to contain them, even in front of the habitually emotionless Byakuya. "I just love him..so much.." hiccuping and gasping in-between heart wrenching sobs, she continued, "It hurts so much."

Byakuya's eye brows narrowed as his whole body experienced a full body blush. It took all of his will power to hide any unwarranted emotions from his face, especially when every synapse inside of him was burning up. He felt a concoction of guilt, sadness, anger, and- dare he say it- happiness. The happiness he tried to ignore, for he knew there was nothing worth being jovial about in the light of this situation and that Ichigo wanting him wasn't something that should make him happy. Had he not been clear with Ichigo? Obviously not clear enough, which was something the noble had to fix immediately. This wasn't how it was suppose to be, Ichgio was suppose to hate him, that way it would be easier for Byakuya to just push the man away.

Resolving him self, he surprised his sister my taking her fragile frame into his embrace, giving her all the comfort he knew how. Perhaps it was his own guilt at work, but more so than usual, her pain was absolutely putrid, he couldn't stand to see her so sad. Her tear stained red orbs glared up at her brothers somber looking face. "I know," he laminated with her, letting his presence be there to comfort her.

After a moment of enjoying her brothers rare embrace, her tears came to a seize as she unraveled her self from his arms. Looking down the pathway that Ichigo had left down, she thought out loud, "I wonder who she is.."

Shaking his head, Byakuya scolded, "Theres no reason to be asking your self useless questions…You should be heading back to the barracks, your division needs you. I also have to attend to some business before I leave tomorrow."

Rukia gave her brother a skeptical glance but then nodded in agreement, and with that, they both flashed steeped away.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The papers on Ichigo's desk went flying as a blur of unidentifiable lines flash stepped into his office. Ichigo dawned a scowl, prepared to lay into who ever sent his work flying, that was until he saw Byakuya standing in front of his desk, looming down with a death glare. At the sight of the man, Ichigo's face melted into a self satisfied grin as he forgot all else, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair casually. "Well come in Byakuya, no need to knock," the boy teased sarcastically. When the man snarled at him, he continued to provoke the noble, "don't get me wrong, It's always great seeing you and all, but…" he cocked an eye brow at the man before casually spinning in his chair, acting completely nonchalant and unfazed by the noble's presence. "Did you come here just to glare at me or did you need something?"

"You know why I'm here," the man proclaimed, setting his jaw and intense orbs. "I heard what you told Rukia," tilting his head to the side slightly, he patronized, "I know you're a bit dense, so if you need me to repeat my self, I will. We're nothing."

Ichigo gave a breathy chuckle at the man's attempt to deter him, catching Byakuya off guard. He hadn't been expecting this smugly nonchalant demeanor. Getting up, Ichigo walked over to a dresser and opened it up, now stripping him self from his uniform, leaving him self exposed.

Trying to contain his blushing, Byakuya turned his gaze away quickly and asked, "what do you think you're doing?"

"Umm, changing?" Ichigo replied as if it was the most obvious thing, "you're in _my_ office, without knocking. Besides, you know I don't wear this soul reaper crap after hours." Hanging up his uniform and jumping into some fitted jeans and a plain v-neck, Ichigo continued, "now, you were saying something about what I said to Rukia," turning back around, his glare was met with a pair of intense coal orbs. Crossing his arms across his chest, he smiled slyly in response. "You would think your'e the person I have feelings for." Licking his bottom lip slightly, "or maybe you were just _wishing_ it was you."

Byakuya felt an euphoric heat rise inside of him that only made him more indignant in response, his anger was attempting to veil how fluster being around Ichigo made him. With a face of contempt, Byakuya countered sardonically, "the way I wish for a tumor." Despite his harsh words, the new captain looked completely unfazed, if not almost amused. Seeing this, Byakuya asked, "Isn't it me you were speaking of?" The noble almost let a slip of his deeply imbedded yearning flow out with his words, but it was obvious to him what answer he truly was hoping for."

Shrugging his shoulders, the blithe man replied, "of course, it's you."

This earned another snarl from the regal man, who had been standing as stiff as a board while trying to keep all of his emotions in check. "I didn't think I needed to tell you that I don't want people know about what we-" he stopped him self, almost choking on his choice of words, "well, I don't want people to know about the really stupid thing we did, especially not Rukia, it wasn't my most prideful moment."

With another breathy chuckle and a roll of his eyes, Ichigo replied, "oh I know, making me climb out of your window got that point across clearly." Ichigo leaned against his desk, fingers intertwined as he stretched out his muscles and yawned slightly. "No, we're both going to tell her, after.." his sentence fell off as he gave Byakuya an unyielding glare.

Instantly, Byakuya wanted to responded with, 'like hell we're ever telling her,' but the 'after' part of Ichigo's sentence piqued his interest. "What do you mean, after? After what?"

Now smiling brilliantly, Ichigo spoke confidently, "after I win you over and make you mine."

This made Byakuya's composure drop slightly and he stumbled back at the words, not completely sure what the man meant. "What nonsense are you spewing, didn't I make it clear that I'm not interested?"

Ichigo lips curled slightly at the way he got under the man's skin, even if it was just a tiny bit. "Yeah, well you know us teenagers, we're really stubborn," Ichigo teased with a smug grin before dawning a more serous look and continuing, "plus it doesn't help that I think you're full of shit." This got the noble's full attention as he was to bewildered by Ichigo to even try to deny it.

At the man's still and pensive face staring him down, Ichigo clarified, "I know what you said, I'm not stupid," he scoffed. "But because I'm not stupid, after I got out of my own feeling, I realized that everything you said to me what just your way of pushing me away. In fact," he took a step closer to the man, his deliberate aura was almost challenging Byakuya, seeing if he would continue to budge from his spot. Yet the noble was a glacier, unmoved as the new captain sauntered towards him. "I think that just shows how deep your feelings for me actually go," smiling wickedly, he continued, "you're so use to getting your way all the time, but not this time. I'm not going to make it _easy_ for you by just letting you push me away."

With the man standing a few feet away from him, Byakuya tried to swallow a tightness in his throat. He was experiencing a nervousness he never had before and could feel the control slipping through his fingers. Ichigo had always been dynamic, he had this confident side along with his more rash and innocent side, still Byakuya never knew just how confident the new captain could be. For the first time in a long time, he was intimidated. Not by the fear of death or battle, nor by his fighting prowess. He was intimidated by the way he felt when Ichigo looked at him, the way his skin set on fire and his heart thumbed, the way he'd become almost to subdued to rejected Ichigo while looking him in the eyes. Still, he continued his hardest to keep Ichigo's gaze, not wanting to let the man know just how right he was. Byakuya's thick layers of defense were fire proof, even to Ichigo's untamable flame.

After taking in the man's words, he actually smirked slightly, trying to regain some of the upper hand he had managed to lose. With an inflection of amusement in his voice, Byakuya mocked, "what are you saying exactly, do you mean to court me?"

At the man's slightly bemused tone, Ichigo narrowed his eye brows and pursed his lips, giving the noble an unnervingly serious glare. "And if I am? What's so funny about that?"

Leaning back on his desk with his arms crossed, he waited for the noble's response, who's mouth was pitifully grappling for words, to surprised by Ichigo's blatant honesty to have an immediate response. "I..well.. it's completely ridiculous," he declared urgently, "and more so, it's funny that you even think that's a possibility, you could try for a hundred years and never tame my heart."

Undeterred, a wry smirk pulled at the crevasses of the captain's lips as he responded smoothly and without hesitation, "good thing we have all the time in the world then." Noticing the flash of red that Byakuya tried to hide with a scowl, Ichigo continued, "besides, you know me, I do like a good challenge."

A blatant flash of raw anger flashed over the nobles features for a fleeting moment before he shook his head indignantly. "So, that's what this is to you, some childish game that you think I'll indulge?" turning on his heels to leave, he continued, "well, I wont-"

Before he could even make a move for the door, Ichgio had him pinned against a wall, eye to eye with the handsome strawberry. One of his lithe wrist was being grasped by Ichigo's strong hand and pushed against the wall, while Ichigo's palm was flat against the wall besides the noble's head. Both of their gazes and lips were mere inches from each other. Ichigo actually scowled, seeming to lose his composure for the first time. "You got it wrong. Yeah, I'll admit that when this first started, I thought that it would be fun to see if I could get under that thick skin of yours, but it was never a game to me." His eyes were intense and sincere, along with his velvet touch, the noble was seemingly paralyzed. For he could easily move but his body just wouldn't let him. "Maybe a challenge, but it wasn't like it was a challenge to get you in bed. If that was the case, I would have lost interest in your stuck up ass after I left that morning." Ichigo actually blushed at his next words, despite his confidence, he was still new to this and saying such honest and intimate things were not easy for him. Still, to Byakuya's surprise, Ichigo's innocent self was just as paralyzing as his confident self. Even when a bit of that resolution was dropped, the noble still couldn't push past the euphorically muddied sensation of being so close to Ichigo. "It was always a challenge to get to know you better..and the reward.. it was having you in my life." Sighing, he confessed, "I haven't once stopped thinking about you since that night, you've effected every part of me, that's not something I can just let go," his voice became softer, yet more serious and confident as he moved his lips closer to Byakuya's, "especially when I know you want me too," came the lustful whisper, his lips twitching at the sent of Byakuya's sakura blossom skin.

"You know no such thing.." came the extremely subdued and unconvincing response. Byakuya tried to will him self to move as the boy's lips drew closer to his, but like before, something about Ichigo's touch was hypnotic, leaving him barely able to protest, drowning in Ichgio's gleaming pools of honey.

With only the feeling of their tepid breath separating the two pairs of lips, Ichigo speculated, "then why arnt you moving, Byakuya?" His voice was now more docile, yet equally as confident as before. "I'm not holding you down, not really, and.." with a cock of his eye brow, he moved his free hand to Byakuya's chest, right above his heart. "Your heart, it's racing so fast and your skin is heating up so quickly. Why are you always lying to me when you know your body tells all of your secrets?"

With as much bravado as Byakuya could muster, he countered, "like I told you before, it's merely a psychical reaction, just because I find you attractive for reasons unbeknown to me doesn't mean I want you."

"So, you admit that you find me attractive, well that's a start," Ichigo said smugly, licking his bottom lip.

"Well this reaction certainly isn't out of feelings towards you…" his throat stifled by lust and yearning, he continued softly, "..I can move at any time I please.."

Moving his mouth to Byakuya's ear, Ichigo sent mounds of humid breath rolling down the opulent man's neck. In a whispered tone, Ichgio spoke challengingly, "well, do it."

Before Byakuya could met that challenge with any type of reaction, Ichigo's mouth was pressing against his, forming a mesh of sensual kisses that Byakuya fell into without hast.

What was it about Ichigo? Why couldn't he resist his touch? Merely being around him made the noble feel more out of control of him self than he ever had, and that was not a feeling he wanted to get use to. What about Ichigo's touch stopped him in his tacts, and what about his kiss melted Byakuya into a puddle of complete desire, making him malleable to Ichigo's will? The questions had been tearing at his soul for days now, making him so filled with self loathing that he couldn't banish this boy from his heart's desires. This wasn't the man he wanted to be nor knew him self to be, but with Ichigo, it was as if a whole new side of him came out from hiding. Why did Ichigo elicit such a response, why couldn't the noble just pull away? Still, despite the questions that had marred him since their first encounter, while he kissed Ichigo, he forgot it all. His legs buckled under the weight of his and Ichigo's passion, making Ichigo have to hold his body up, sandwiching him in-between the wall and the new captain's flushed body.

To his surprise, Ichigo was the one to stop the kiss and pull away, only after helping Byakuya find his footing. "I don't want you to do something you're not ready for. Maybe you want this, but it's obvious you're not ready to admit it, so I won't kiss you again until you can admit you want this," he scowled slightly, ignoring his own desires.

Turning away to pick up the papers Byakuya sent flying, he left him standing at the door, speechless and breathless. Staring at one focal point on the ground, Byakuya looked a mixture of torn and detached. Realizing the extent of his feeling was sending him into an existential crisis, making him question him self. Ichigo's presence was changing him, and rather it was for the worst or for the better, Ichigo fully understood how hard this was for the noble to stomach. Finally, after a brief epoch of gathering him self, in a serious, yet soft tone, Byakuay asked, "why me? Why do you feel this way for me?"

Now sitting back at his desk while organizing his paperwork, he looked at the man intensely and answered honestly, "I don't know, to be completely honest with you, but what I do know is, I've never felt this way for anyone..ever. It makes me wan't to figure out why." His words almost made Byakuya blush, but he kept his scowl firmly in place. "I've always been the type of guy that, once I've decided I wanted something, I'm resolved to go after it.." He tightened his first and cringed slightly, "…also..I hate seeing people not being true to them selves, so I don't like seeing you pretend that this isn't something you want." The new captain's voice rang with a determined passion as he continued, "that night, you opened up to me and told me that you feel the same emptiness I do…maybe that was your mistake, because now I think that the reason you're so unnerved by me is because I make you feel _something_ ," narrowing his eyes at the man, he continued, "and you hate that.. so, if you won't fight for it, I will." Despite the slight blush painted on Ichigo's face, he continued to push past his humiliation with confidence. "I'll help you realize that this is worth opening up your heart for, that you don't have to feel empty anymore.."

Now that the new captain fully grasped the situation, he started finding answers he was to upset to locate before. Still, that didn't mean he was completely sure about everything, but what he was certain about was; he wanted to be with Byakuya, he wanted to get to know every part of him. Ichigo saw the glances of the man Byakuya kept hidden inside and he was enchanting, Ichigo wanted to slowly peel off layers of the nobles thick skin until he obtained the non censored version. He wanted to explore these feelings and this chemistry they shared, in hopes to understand what cause it. Ichigo was certain it was more than lust or because Byakuya was his first, the new captain wouldn't of slept with him if those feelings didn't exsist in the first place. No, these were deep feelings that went beyond a physical attraction and Ichigo wanted more, he wanted more for both of them.

That was the cause for this change in attitude. Byakuya excited him in more ways than one, and Ichigo had never felt so alive, not even in the throws of battle. Because of this, he was completely okay with putting in the work, for he was confident he'd get what he wanted if he stayed determined.

The noble's stomach flipped at the proclamation as his whole body felt ten times heavier. It was true, Ichigo made him feel emotions that he was sure couldn't thrive within his desolate soul, and he hated it. He hated how it effected his life, invaded his thoughts, and how it brought out the more compassionate and gentle side of the man. Emptiness was preferable over being love struck over a man he would never allow him self to have, for he could never forsake is internal promise.

Byakuya straightened out his uniform, his somewhat flustered look was traded for a stoic glare. His words were stern, yet calm as he spoke. "I can't stop you from having these little fantasies, but if you think I'll be giving some admission of love or that you'll some how be able to win me over, you're more delusional than I thought. No, you and I are from completely different worlds, I could never.." he paused, cringing inwardly at his own cruel lies. "I would never want to be with some lowly commoner as your self. Try as you might, I'll never love you."

What Byakuya wasn't understanding was that Ichigo was done letting the lies Byakuya needed to tell him self affect him. Thought his words were harsh, an unfazed smile painted Ichigo's face, showing just how confident he was. The more the noble tried to deny his feelings, the more his true feelings became obvious to the new captain. "You know what they say," he replied, tapping his fingers on his desk, "nothing worth having is easy."

Now turning to leave the office, Byakuay huffed, "there's a difference between improbable and impossible, Kurosaki."

Right before he left, Ichgio replied casually, "oh, and Byakuay, just so you know," Ichigo's voice became a tonic of sultry and confident, "when you finally realize that I'm the more stubborn one out of us, and you give in, I'll be _taking you_ this time."

The noble's body went aquiver at the sound of his name and Ichigo's sensual declaration. Though he was turned away, Ichgio could sense just how turned on his words made the noble, making him give a victorious smirk. Gathering him self, Byakuya flash stepped out without another word, riddled by how easily that situation got from under his thumb. Ichgio had complete control the whole time, leaving the noble to feel like a bumbling school girl, never had he ever lost control of a situation like that, not until he met Ichigo.

Still, despite his stubbornness and protest to the contrary, Byakuay was sure that he was apart of Ichigo's game, and even though he had no intentions of losing, he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to win.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Despite being in her own feelings, Rukia knew her brother. She knew his scent was mixed up and off, she had noticed the glare of concern he gave Ichigo, and she definitely felt the unnerving moment of tension the two had shared at the meeting. All this mixed with Byakuya's out of character advise, and the situation with Ichigo, was enough for Rukia to have some suspicions.

Still, when she decided to trail Byakuya, she didn't know what she expected to find. There was never a part of her that thought Byakuya and Ichigo could possibly be involved or that Byakuya was the person Ichigo was enamored with. Imagine her surprise when she tracked her brother to the eight divisions barracks. Even then, she couldn't possibly comprehend the idea of them having a relationship, yet she soon found out how wrong she was.

Unable to contain her curiosity, the surreptitious Rukia masked her spiritual pressure as much as possible and stealthily followed her brother. After he rudely entered Ichigo's office, obviously pissed off, she listened through the door, still completely aloof to what could possibly be going on. But then, she heard it, she heard it all. From Ichigo's confident resolution to gain her brother's heart, to Byakuya losing control of the situation in a way she had never seen, to their pretty intense make out session. It wasn't until after Ichgio answered Byakuya's question of why he chose him, that she felt wrong being there and flash stepped away.

Thought the sting of betrayal, anger, and deep seeded anguish filled her, she started to feel as if she was violating a very private moment, even if it was her who has been kept in the dark, she somehow felt as if she belonged there. From their conversation, something became very clear to Rukia; Despite his protest, her brother felt for Ichigo the same way she did, and Ichigo fully retuned those feelings. Byakuya was what would make Ichigo happy and vise versa, and it was obvious they were both going through quite a disorienting time, both trying to fully grasp their feelings for each other. It was clear that Rukia didn't belong in this moment and had no right to interrupt the journey these two were on.

Still, even though she chose to hold her tongue at the moment, that didn't stop her pique. No, Rukia felt lied to and betrayed, overcame with a need to not see either of their faces. Both of them had lied to her face repetitively, and her brother, despite knowing about her feelings, chose to sleep with Ichigo. No amount of maturity could stop the freshly dawned wound from poisoning her with resentment and animosity.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys, this is a really short chapter but it's still pretty potent. I've been going through a ton of crazy personal stuff, so this was the best I could do for now. My next chapters will be longer for your pleasure. :)**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Good vibes!**

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 _I never should have told you I never should have let you see inside Don't want it troubling in your mind Won't you let it be_

 _And I could easily lose my mind The way you kiss me will work each time Pulling me back into the flames And I'm burning up again, I'm burning up - Vance Joy "Georgia."_

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **Incipient**

Byakuya Kuchiki loomed over a map that charted the districts, his palms flat on the desk as his eyes narrowed in frustration. The noble let out a sigh of resignation as he pinched the bride of his noes, coming to terms with the circumstances of his strategic maneuver.

They had arrived in the seventy fourth district a little after sunrise, finding an area that lied on the outskirts of the districts and held a few ran down cabins. All uncomfortably cramp and dreary, varnished with a layer of dust that had accumulated from years of neglect. More than likely, these cabins were used by vagabonds as they traveled through, never really given much attention too, seeing as they were only a means for shelter. Despite the depreciated conditions it worked fine for such a small platoon. Seeing as this was a mission that would take a couple of days, they needed somewhere to stay. If they had a full platoon, then this mission would only require one platoon and would probably have taken a day at most. If the power of the Gotei hadn't became so severely depleted a lot of things would be different about this assignment.

When they had first arrived, the twenty man platoon, lead by both Byakuya and Ichigo, did a reconnaissance mission, scoping out districts seventy one through three. By the time they made it to the seventy third district, the town had been beleaguered into rubble. From the scarce amount of survivors they located, they were able to understand the pattern of these Hollows. It seemed that there were only five Espada level hallows tearing through the districts. Those five would ravage a district, accompanied by a few Adjucha's grade hallows, and once their satisfied, the'll regain their energy before moving to the next district while a large amounts of Gillian grade hallows peck over the leftovers like the scavengers they were.

Each of their platoons had around twenty individuals, and each with only half of their officer seats filled. Byakuya had left Renji behind the to take care of the division stationed at the Seireitei and had a third and fifth seat accompany him. Ichigo, who didn't have a lieutenant left behind his extremely competent fourth seat and took along his third and sixth seat. That being said, though their seated officers were proficient and well trained soldiers, non were no where near the strength to cut down Espada level hallows. It would be suicide for any that tried. With that in mind, Byakuya knew their officers could dexterously cut down low grade hallows, moving their platoon of only twenty strong through the altercation rather swiftly, for he wasn't worried about leaving the platoon in the hands of the officers.

What he was concerned about was that he had little chose but to work side by side with Ichigo alone. Since the patterns of the Espada's movements were to go along to the next district while the Gillian stayed behind, and since Byakuya and Ichigo were the _only_ two who could take down the Espada, the only logical decision was for Byakuya and Ichigo to go ahead and circumvent the seventy fourth district, clearing out residents and facing off against these Espada. Ever since their power up's from the Soul Palace, they both truly were the most powerful Captain's in the Gotei. Though Byakuya hated to admit it, they did make one hell of a team in theory, it should be quite simple for them to eliminate some pesky hallows.

Still, Byakuya cringed at the idea, knowing this would somehow play right into Ichigo's hand and be a catalysis for this little game he had been inserted into. Still, he would never let personal affairs dictate his strategy. Besides, after that night in Ichigo's office, this had became a matter of pride for the noble. He was no fool, he understood that his affection for Ichigo was rooted into him further than he'd like to admit, but that didn't mean he couldn't fight against it. That didn't mean he couldn't get on his hands and knees and pluck the affection right from it's crux. Perhaps if he spent more time with Ichigo, he'd remembered the volatile, tenacious, pain-in-the-ass kid's presence as something that irked his existence, and not something that challenged it entirely.

Still looking down at the map, Byakuya heard the same voice that vexed yet enticed him, the same voice that he'd been unable to get out of his head. "So, Byakuya, I was thinking about the mission, I think the two of us should go ahead to the Seven-"

Without even turning around, Byakuya belittled, "Like always, I'm already one step ahead of you. Yes, we'll be sending our platoon to intercept the Gillian while we deal with the high grade Hallows." Though he was impressed with Ichigo's ability to quickly and dexterously discern the best course of action, Byakuya wouldn't give the man the satisfaction.

Leaning against one of the walls, Ichigo stood somewhat nonchalantly as he ate an apple. In between bites, he huffed somewhat humorously, "I bet you're really excited about that."

Turning around, Byakuya finally looked at Ichigo. He spat caustically, "Yes, because babysitting a new captain is surely exciting," he paused for a moment, narrowing his blank eyes at the man. "I'll be excited if you manage to not screw up."

As Byakuya berated him, Ichigo merely shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "Somehow, I think I'll be fine." If the new Captain was being honest, encouragement from Byakuya would've been nice, seeing as this was his first big mission as a Captain and Ichigo was already chalk full of anxiety, worried about how his decision making could affect his whole platoon. If it had of been anyone else, Ichigo would have went on an indignant tirade, but he could see through Byakuya's malice words. He was almost trying _too_ hard to be hurtful towards Ichigo, obviously trying to put distance between the two. Though Ichigo wasn't so easily swayed.

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, Byakuya recalled his night with Ichigo and his confession about how he was worried he'd let down his platoon. The same scintilla of guilt that he'd grown accustomed to since his and Ichigo's tryst speared him in the gut. For whatever reason, since Ichigo had became more ingrained in his life, Byakuya was unable to shake that looming sensation of guilt, an emotion he wasn't to keen to nor use to. It was as if Ichigo's pureness of spirit made him more conscious of just how injurious he could be, it educed the empathy he spent years squandering.

Despite Ichigo's devil-may-care expression, he could feel his usually spunky and staunch spiritual pressure being muddied by nervousness. At this, Byakuya cringed, his guilt forcing him to say the words he had been biting back. "Though.." his more placid voice caught Ichigo's attention as the noble continued, still with a look of complete indifference. "If the Captain-Commander chose you, he had his reasons." Averting his eyes slightly, he spat out the next words like a mouth full of nails, "You'll do fine."

Like rays of sun penetrating a dreary formation of clouds, Byakuyas words returned Ichigo's spiritual pressure to it's usual buoyant yet potent self. The sharp spark of fiery determination angered him, not because he hated it, on the contrary, it angered him because of the fugacious hint of joy he felt at the returned pressure.

With a toothy smile, before taking another bite of his apple, Ichigo retorted, "Was that as hard as it looked?"

Still feeling the unsolicited euphoric effects of Ichigo's spiritual pressure, a frustrated Byakuya grabbed Ichigo's wrist before he took another bite of the apple, sending it toppling towards the ground. With a scowl, Ichigo cursed, "Oh come on, that was the first fucking thing I've eaten all day."

With a stern glare, Byakuya shook his head in disappointment and reached into his Captian's haori. "I swear, you're such a child, letting that spiritual pressure of your's seep all over the place," Byakuya pulled out a silver band and placed it on Ichigo's finger forcefully, "Just because you're so keen to it, doesn't mean the rest of us need to suffer through it." Releasing Ichigo's wrist, he said more seriously, "we don't want to alert the hallows of our presence, that ring will suppress your pressure without you having to put in any effort."

Looking down at the ring and then back at Byakuya's clenched jaw and blank eyes, he couldn't help but take the opportunity to tease the man, knowing just how to get under his skin. "Huh," he cocked an eye brow, "one day, you might just be putting a different ring on my finger."

At the fugacious yet potent spike of Byakuya's spiritual pressure, Ichigo smirked slightly while letting out a breathy chuckle. His spiritual pressure was usually so calm and fluid, much like the surface of a still body of water, but in that instant, it was clamorous and had an euphoric edge to it, sending a tingling sensation through the new Captain.

Trying to veil his volatile pressure, Byakuya put on a mocking smirk before turning away from Ichigo to once again look at the map. "Ha," he let out a phony laugh before continuing, "I suppose it's not unlike children to have infeasible fantasies." He kept his back to the man, once again finding it hard to look Ichigo directly in the eyes.

Sauntering over, Ichigo threw an arm around the Captain's shoulder playfully. Byakuya jolted inwardly, shielding his discomfort with an air of apathy as the younger man spoke. "Ya know, for just a joke, your spiritual pressure sure got all uptight and choppy."

For reasons unbeknown to him, Byakuya didn't immediately shake the arm off of his shoulder. It seemed he was still finding himself subdued by contact with the man. It was so captivating that Byakuya found it impossible to push away. "Don't confuse my pressure with yours," Byakuya spat, still maintaining his unfazed demeanor.

With his arm still slung around Byakuya, he tiled his head back slightly and threw the man a knowing glare. "I'd know that pressure anywhere, arrogant and confident, but just as stifling. It's really powerful," smirking slightly, he added, "Almost as powerful as mine."

Something about Ichigo's words elicited a momentary laps of resolve, he was unable to contain the slight smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. Despite his protest to the contrary, Byakuya had always enjoyed snarky banter between the two. It was so simple to be drawn into and came naturally, like the waxing and waning of the moon. Though only if Byakuya allowed it too. Still, even he knew that if Ichigo was resolute on his continued flirtation, on his mission to get under the man's skin, he'd eventually have a moment of weakness.

Looking at Ichigo with a cocked eye brow, his words had the slightest hint of playfulness as he responded, "'Almost as' is an odd way to say much more."

Taking note of the of a more pacified Byakuya, Ichigo smiled back before leaning in a little closer to the man's ear and whispering, "I actually made you smile. Ya know," he teased wryly, "If this was a game, I think I just got the first point."

The noble's face melted into an indignant scowl as the spell of Ichigo's touch was broken. Finding him self pissed off enough to ignore the intoxicating effects of their contact, he not only pushed Ichigo's arm from off of his, but knocked the kid flat on his ass in the process. Glaring down at the man, he retorted, "And I just got the second," turing on his heels to walk away, he continued with a voice of complete authority, "We don't have time for this, come now."

Rebounding from his fall, Ichigo grimaced and cursed under his breath while straightening out his haori, "That tundra basta-"

His complaints where interrupted by a calming sigh and a more rational thought process. _'Well, I probably shouldn't of said that. I was just joking, but still.'_

' _Besides,'_ he cajoled him self as he went to join the platoon, _'I know a less reserved Byakuya is in there somewhere, deep, deep, in there._

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After briefing the platoon, Ichigo's and Byakuya's third seats lead the assemblage into the seventy third district to handle the Gillian while the two Captains stayed behind to evacuate the seventy fourth. Though, it didn't take very long to realize that would be no simple act.

With a somewhat troubled look, Ichigo stood beside Byakuya in the midst of a bustling and busy street that lied just in the center of the village. "No one's leaving, do they not take our warnings seriously or what?" Ichigo asked, his voice was a mixture of annoyed and concern. Both had tried valiantly for sometime to warn the towns people, each getting a scowl or an offended glare in the process.

Narrowing his eye brows at the man, he responded casually, "We've done all we can, if they don't want to leave then the'll have to reap the consequences."

Scowling at the man, Ichigo threw his arms up boisterously, taken aback by the Captain's seemingly callous nature. "How can you say that? These people could die if they don't leave!"

"What would you have me do?" the man asked bluntly, "intimidate them into leaving? Threaten to cut them down if they don't evacuate for the sake of _their_ lives. That seems rather counterproductive." Now walking forward, Ichigo in pursuit, he proclaimed, "All we can do now if focus on the elimination of the hallows."

With an agitated huff, Ichigo silently resigned and continued to walk beside the noble. However, Ichigo stopped in his tracts at the sight of a group of children, probably around eight of them of varying ages surrounding an elderly man who was playing music on his guitar. It didn't look like anything Ichigo had ever seen in the living world. He was pretty sure the man must have carved it by hand, for the craftsmen ship was impeccable and a rarity to behold. The jaunty children were efflorescent with exuberance, all smiling and dancing along to the harmonious song of the man.

Looking up to Byakuya with slightly gapped features, Ichigo urged, "We have to try to get those kids to leave."

Byakuya saw a pure earnestness in those honey orbs at Ichigo's vehement declaration. It was a look that had a single minded determination behind it, not yielding to any determent. _'What a honest fiery passion he has.'_ The noble thought to him self, trying to ignore just how captivating he found that passion. Nodding in agreement, the two walked over to the group of kids and the elderly man.

"Hey, kids," Ichigo urged, now earning the attention of all the children and the man. "Theres going to be a serious attack happening here, you guys really need to get out of here before that happens." At the warning, the elderly man put on an amicable smile and went to respond, but was cut off by the fiery tangent of one spunk twelve year old who had a abundance of spiritual pressure, one higher than a lot of the soldiers in the Gotie. .

"Hey, reapers!" the girl scowled, shaking her tiny fist up at the man. The brash and loud mouth girl continued, not caring about Byakuya's or Ichigo's obvious captain attire. "We aint goin' no where, can't you see were busy here? Just because your both soul reapers don't mean you can just tell us what to do. Why I oughtta-"

The girls choleric rant was cut short by the feeling of a rough and wrinkled hand patting her on the head. "Please Ignore Ayumi, she think with her heart more so than with her head." The young girl just crossed her arms in vexation and grumbled out something about how she thought with her _fist_. After letting out a slight chuckle, the old man continued to talk to the two men, never seizing his playing. "I bet you two have had a hard time getting people to leave, huh?"

At the slightly confused glare from Ichigo, the man clarified, "That's to be expected. You see, a lot of these people don't have anywhere to go. It may be hard for you to understand, but the people of the district have built lives here, families and shops. Even if the risk is to die, they couldn't just leave with the possibility of losing their lively hood and families, only to have to start all over." Now looking over at the group of children affectionally, the man cajoled, "I'm a wood maker and I help take care of these kids. In fact, I help take care of most of the kids in this village, we're all a family."

Clenching his fist in alertness, Ichigo pleaded, "If they're your family, you should want to protect them, you should leave immediately."

"We're not leaving our village, we have to protect it," proclaimed one of the kids.

"Yeah, and we're not going to just leave all of our other friends behind, no way," came another response.

These were sentiments the new Captain could emphasize with. Being able to protect his home and the people he cared for was always the crux of Ichigo's existence, the pillars that he built his foundation on. So how could he reprimand these people for doing the same thing?

The young spunky girl spoke up again, somehow reminding Ichigo of Karin. "Besides, you're a soul reaper, right? Arntcha suppose to help protect us?"

Ichigo's features gapped at the question. In that moment, he became filled with a familiar resolve and for the first time, he truly understood why he was there. No, this situation hadn't been optimal and a big part of him missed his home, missed being able to protect his friends and family, but this was inevitable, an unmodifiable part of his life. Now Ichigo just wanted to be the best protector he could, he wanted to make use of this existence and rise to the challenge. It wasn't for power or for status. No, it was something much more fundamental than that. Ichigo wanted to protect those who couldn't protect them selves, If he couldn't do that than what was his existence worth?

Kneeling down in front of the girl, he bowed his head slightly. It seemed the whole group, including Bakuya, was taken back by this gesture of humility. Ichigo looked back up to the girls moon like orbs gapping in surprise, responding, "I'm sorry, Ayumi-san, I shouldn't expect you to do something I couldn't even do my self." He ruffled the girls head and continued, "I can't talk for anyone else, but I'm going to do every thing I can to protect your home and friends, what kind of soul reaper would I be if I didn't protect peoples most precious things?" Taking note of the girls skeptical look, he added with a slight chuckle, "Ya know, when I was a kid like you, I use to fight all the time too. I was always trying to protect people who couldn't protect them selves, because I once lose someone and I never wanted other people to have to experience that…" Cocking and eye brow at the girl, he continued, "they may call you a trouble maker but you really just have a very strong resolve, plus I can't let a big mouth kid show me up, huh? If you're going to stand of for whats important, I will too."

The opulent noble felt humbled in the presence of such a sincere gesture. He couldn't help but stare at the man, wanderlust marring his murky orbs. Protecting people had always been Ichigo's _thing_ , but up until this moment, Byakuya hadn't realized just how deep that sentiment was rooted. Like craters in the moon, it was forever ingrained in who Ichigo was. Previously, Byakuya had assumed that Ichigo had always been thrown into the midst of battle, fighting only when someone he cared for was in need of protection or because it was simply the right thing to do. While that was true to a degree, Ichigo's obsession with growing more powerful and the protection of people has a much more complex crux. Ichigo had felt the pain of losing someone and could empathize with that pain on every level. If it was within his power, he would keep others from feeling that pain.

The usually capricious and loud mouth punk had such a pureness to his soul, intentions unsullied by personal motives. In front of him, he didn't see some poor commoner, he saw a young girl who needed help and warmth, a young girl who reminded him of him self. Such a tender and luminous aura spilled out of him, but that was because Ichigo truly was a tender and luminous person, despite his rough and brash exterior. It was just another part of Ichigo's fire that hypnotically drew Byakuya in.

To be honest, he had been trying to understand just what about Ichigo induced such strong feelings and in that moment, he got it. When he first noticed Ichigo's dwindling flame withering away into apathy, it truly pained him. Prior to that, he viewed Ichigo's brash presence with annoyance, but always with an underlying emotion, an unidentifiable emotion. That emotion was the cause of his severe indignation because the man made him feel things he him self couldn't understand. Now it was clear to Byakuya, Ichigo's whole essence had always challenged him, an essence he yielded to, that brought out a better part of him, that made him feel. After meeting the man, life couldn't and hadn't been the same and Byakuya fought against that with every synapse in his being.

Who was he fooling? Byakuya knew it had been foolish of him self to think spending more time with Ichigo would somehow deter him, not when he found everything about Ichigo utterly beautiful. All of his parts, his rashness and tenacity, his unyielding confidence, innocence, and purity of heart, they were things that Byakuya tried to look upon with antipathy because those were all the traits that made up the man who rocked Byakuya's world. Ichigo made him rethink his priorities and the man he was, leading him to save his sisters life, making him _feel_ things. By the time he was being held up by drunkly exposed man, looking at him with such an authentic smile, Byakuya was already boiling over, affection for the man effervescent from his chest cavity. All while Byakuya was non the wiser of his own feelings or perhaps in denial. For a transient moment, Byakuya had seen a glimmer of the man he had once been, a man he buried with his wife, and he couldn't _deal_ with that. The reality that this man could solicit emotions that Byakuya wasn't suppose to have, to bring out the compassion the noble held back out of fear of being weak, it was petrifying. The noble was so frightened of opening his heart once more, of feeling that insurmountable anguish he once had, for that reason, even with his sudden epiphany, he couldn't break to his own affection.

The buoyant dancing of the children came to a stop as one of the strings popped on the guitar, soliciting long groans of disappointment from the group. It was easy to see how much joy and excitement such a simple thing brought these kids, Byakuya found it consolatory that these children seemed to find happiness despite their deplorable conditions.

"Gramps, what gives?" Ayumi asked.

The man put on a half hearted smile and replied, "Sorry kids, my string broke and I don't have any money to buy any more copper. Looks like the shows over for now."

At the grimaces and lackluster sighs of disappointment, Byakuay cringed inwardly. Something so small, something so insignificant, yet so paramount in the happiness of these children, these children who seemed to have nothing. Byakuya almost felt ashamed that he had so much wealth yet was seemingly without the smallest capacity for happiness. Because of that, Byakuya disliked seeing something like money stand in the way of something that brought joy to this dreary life. If he chose to avoid happiness despite his own money, he could at least use it to evoke others happiness.

With that thought in mind, Byakuya flash stepped aways without word. After only a brief epoch of time passed, Byakuya returned to the group, Ichigo throwing him a bewildered look. Ignoring the look from Ichigo, Byakuya knelt down in front of the man and held out his palm to revile a coiled up copper wire. He looked up at the elderly man and notted his weak corse fingers before asking, "May I?"

Throwing the noble a skeptical look, he replied, "You know how to change a guitar string?"

"I was taught how to play the violin throughout most of my life. I'm presuming it can't be all to different."

With a half smile, the man handed over the guitar and replied, "A string instrument is a string instrument at the end of the day."

Byakuya quickly and with complete ease changed the string and even tuned it, apparently he had a masterful ear, as Ichigo watched mesmerized by the sight. In truth, Byakuya did find compassion to be a weakness, but that didn't mean he didn't show it. When he did flex his empathetic side, the noble always thought of the gesture as something insignificant that he did simply as a whim. Because he didn't see the truth behind his kindness, Byakuya shrugged it off with an air of arrogance, not really comprehending or acknowledging his own actions for what they were. Yet Ichigo saw it. It wasn't that the man Byakuya had been was dead, he was merely being held captaive deep within.

As Byakuya handed the guitar back to the man, he thanked the noble, to which Byakuya replied as expected, saying it was of little significance. The kids bombarded the man with hugs, to which Byakuya simply tensed up and blushed slightly before the slightest of smiles pulled at his lips. It was such an ephemeral moment that he probably thought no one had seen. Ichgio actually let out a chuckle, bemused and equally captivated at how unknowingly dulcet the noble could be. Knowing just how much he got under the man's skin, he couldn't wait to penetrate that porcelain armor, helping Byakuya to nurture the parts of him self he was desperate to let die.

After the the last of the children released the man from their vice grip, Byakuya noted Ichigo's not to discreet chuckle with a stern glare, "What's so humorous?"

Pursing his lips, he replied with a devilish smirk, "Oh, nothing."

Before any more words were exchanged, the clamor of heavy panting and swift breeze of a flash step got the Captain's attention. Turning around, they saw the broken and beaten body of a platoon members, his rickety legs fighting to hold up his severed bones, the adrenaline of fear apparent in his eyes.

"Ito-san!" Kurosaki exclaimed, lending his shoulder to the man, helping him find a seat on the ground. "What happened?" Ichigo asked urgently.

"Captain.." he panted out in a weak voice,"Espada..two of them..and the Gillian too, they must ha-ave..figured out where we would be..both of the third seats..they.." he looked up at Ichigo, his orbs pricing even in contrast with the bright sun, that same daunting terror become intensified.

"Ito, listen to me, what happened to them?" Ichigo urged.

"They..went after the Espada..I think they're..they're.."

At his sentence falling off, Ichigos features gapped in alertness, his whole body immediately moving into action. Like usual, he was about to rashly flash step away, but he then looked over to the group of kids, now looking somewhat scared and uneasy.

At Ichigo's torn expression, as If Byakuya could read his mind, he offered, "Don't worry, Kurosaki, I'll stay here incase a hallow invasion happens, but if you find your self needing assistance.." he averted his eyes slightly, trying to hide his concern, "take off the ring, I'll feel you immediately.

Slightly taken aback by the hint of worry in Byakuya's tone, yet equally as pleased at how easily Byakuya could discern his concerns, Ichigo simply nodded with a resolute intensity, flash stepping off.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When he flashed upon the scene, for all intended purposes, the situation seemed under control. The foot soldiers were handling the Gillian as expected: dexterously. However, there were about five or so in an supine position, being healed by other soldiers. Still, there were no sign of third seats or the Espada, and all of the other soldiers were to overwhelming occupied and weak to go after them.

He quickly went up to a solider and demanded to know their whereabouts. She informed him they ran off into the woods to draw the monsters away, but no one had felt their presence in quite some time. With that information in mind, he flashed through the woods somewhat frantically, hoping he could make it on time. Feeling the pressures of the hallows, he found him self at a clearing amongst the trees where both his and Byakuya's third seats lied seemingly dead, both ridged with an ashen white covering their faces.

While approaching the two frantically, Ichigo came to an immediate halt, his brain falling into a haze. All of a sudden, his brain became fussy and the light surrounding him glimmered with jewels while a feeling of hypnotic euphoria sank deep into him. His body felt lulled into an all encompassing warmth, as if he was sinking into the deepest embrace he'd ever experienced. So balsamic and mesmerizing was this new found opiate, that his memory went completely blank. He remembered nothing of the two bodies nor the mission. Ichigo was completely subdued by this high, as it rooted him to his spot.

Looking around him, he felt like the air was hugging him as he walked through the blinding light. It was a light so bright that the air seemed to shimmer with yellow. He pushed past floating jewels, looking up at them with complete child like aw as he aimless walked deeper into the whimsical forest, seemingly booming with life. Each step was like zero gravity, yet seemed to pull him into a certain direction, leading him to an unknown location. Though to Ichigo, it didn't matter, the aura that blocked his senses was that of wonder and euphoria.

The mellifluous harmony of laughter filled the air with electricity, setting Ichigo's skin ablaze. His stomach did back flips, overwhelmed with the sensation of warm vivacity, subdued by the light fluters of laughter filling his body and bursting out through his lungs. Ichigo walked towards the laugher with constant laughter him self, the sound and sensation to spellbounding to break the trance.

Walking through an opening in some trees, he saw the figure of a man, shamelessly exposing his entire manhood as he walked from out of the lake, water droplets looking like jewels as they cascaded down his skin.

Mouth almost salivating from lust and euphoria, the sight of the familiar man was an overwhelming aphrodisiac, peaking Ichigo's rapacious cupidity.

As the raven haired man held out his palm, such a wanton salacity was yielded from the mere gesture, his smirk only adding to Ichigo's avidity. "Come, let me satisfy you," spoke the gruff, yet confident voice, stifled by a sensual appetite.

Looking into coal orbs, murky with carnality, Ichigo was still subdued to the trance as he looked into the eyes of the man who stole his heart: Byakuya Kuchiki, exposed and ready to ravish him, or so he thought, as he was hypnotized by a force much greater than he realized, sucking and feeding off of his lust.

' _Yes, thats it, come to me and let me suck you dry. I'll devour your entire life force and you'll indulge in every second of it, beg me for more. It'll truly be a tryst of a life time, one to die for.'_ the malevolent being thought to him self, sinisterly cackling as Ichigo came within his grasp.

As he disrobed Ichigo and sunk his hungry lips into his own, he curled his lithe grapes around the girth of Ichig's neck, melting their lips together.

The incubus of a hallow was salivating at the delicious taste of the Captain's spiritual energy as his ravenous lips tugged at Ichigo's, unable to satisfy himself on such an abundant and pure spiritual pressure.

' _I could fall in love with you, you're so-so-I've never had an energy so tasty, so absolute. I want it all-I need it all. Theres so much of it that I could let you live, but I just won't be satisfied until I drain you of every little bit of your spiritual power. Don't worry, you'll love every moment of it. I look like him, do I not, the man you lust for so badly. You'll die happily in your lovers arms..mhh yes, I think I do love you.'_ The inner monologue of the hallow was discombobulated, wrecked by the intoxicating effects of Ichigo's spiritual pressure, still running his hands all over the man.

' _Why can't I feel the pressure leaving his body, I can taste it but I can't feel it…no fun.'_ Noticing the ring, it didn't take him much time to figure out the cause of his problems. Without hast, he took it off the zoned out Ichigo's finger and flung it over his shoulder.

Ichigo's mind was like static, completely over came by the euphoria of what ever spell this hallow had place over him, forgetting all else but the brawny arms he was holding onto for dear life. And as he felt his spiritual energy leaving him, it felt like the best climax he'd ever had, he felt drained but drained by pure lust and pleasure.

This synthetic pleasure, would it be the last thing Ichigo felt?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Please review! Every review is like a cheesy pop song playing in my heart. :)**

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" _Hello, my old heart,_

 _It's been so long._

 _Since I've given you away._

 _Every day I add another stone_

 _to the walls I've built around you_

 _to keep you safe._

 _Hello, my old heart,_

 _how have you been?_

 _How is it being locked away?_

 _Don't you worry._

 _In there you're safe._

 _And it's true, you'll never beat,_

 _but you'll never break." - The Oh Hello's -"Hello my old heart."_

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **Magnetism**

It wasn't so much the feeling of Ichigo's spiritual pressure that concerned Byakuya, but the rapid rate at which he felt it dwindling. Immediately, he turned to the group, readying to demand they leave the village for their safety because he needed to depart. Before he could say a word, the vivacious twelve year old, chalk full of spiritual pressure, was already frantically hosting some bigger kid up by his tunic and shaking him around like a rag doll. She was in full on dictator mode, standing on her proverbial soap box, exclaiming how they all needed to gather up the rest of the kids and head to the outskirts of the village, yelling that the weird-haired 'reaper' was in trouble and this was their way of helping. The way the group of kids quickly seized her demand, one would think she had the same eminence and influence as the Captain-Commander.

Thought it perplexed the man as to just how strong this girl's pressure was, for Ichigo's pressure _should_ be so above her's that she cant even sense it, Ichigo's rapidly dwindling spiritual pressure was the cause of his legerity as he quickly flash stepped away.

Feeling the utter depletion of Ichiog's pressure, Byakuya felt a cornucopia of unusual panic flood his senses, as if his stomach was an aneurysm brimming with terror, ready to pop. At the sensation, or lack there of, of Ichigo's spiritual pressure, the Captain quickened his flash step.

' _Impossible, Kurosaki couldn't of been beaten so easily, its absolutely Inconceivable..that..that child, always rushing in without thinking. He mustn't be..he just can't be..'_ his doleful thought process only facilitated his need for speed as he flash stepped quicker than he ever had.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Deep within the trance of his dalliance, Ichigo's mind was consumed with only thoughts of sensual carnality as he fully explored the perfect porcelain body that appeared before him. His consciousness became hazy, depleted by his own lustful appetite. Though, as his thoughts seemed to wither away into the pure bliss of euphoric nothingness, he thought of Byakuya once more. He thought of his muscles that cascaded down his arms like a valley of mountains, and the way his perfect unblemished skin felt like porcelain sendal, his slight smirk, and his sardonic yet witty sense of humor, but mostly, he thought of his smell; sakura blossoms. How he adored that smell. Ichigo was unsure of how this tryst began to transpire. Perhaps he was dreaming and the fading of his consciousness meant he was about to awaken, either way, he wanted that smell.

Separating their wanton lips, Ichigo pressed his nose into the noble's opulent coiffure, trying to get a whiff of the tantalizing scent before he was lost to this sensation completely. Only the smell wasn't cherry blossoms, in fact, it was putrid. It smelt like death at a wedding, like the wails of crying children, and the most malignant tumor that ever was, every smell that Ichigo didn't relate to Byakuya. No, he related life and beauty to the man, despite his cold and desolate appearance. At that one scent, Ichigo's features gapped in realization while his euphoria melted into bloodcurdling terror and putridness, completely disgusted at the unknown entities hands tugging on his skin and marking him with his lips.

With his very last bit of strength, he kneed the hallow in the groin, flinging the monster back as he tried to stand. It was futile, he was so drained of energy that his legs couldn't support his rickety body. With all of his strength, and as hastily and frantically as possible, he crawled through the brush of the forest floor, grappling for one of his zanpakuto. As he grasped onto the hilt, he was flung back over, his haori already ripped half way off of his body. Simultaneously, he flung his sword, slashing the hallow's arm slightly. Despite his valiant effort, Ichigo was so deficient in spiritual energy that he was two steps from deaths doorstep, so wielding his zanpakuto was out of the question.

He laid on his back while trying to will his legs to stand, but it was useless. All he could do was desperately grasp for the damp leaves of the forest floor, panting, stalling, trying to figure a way out of this dismal situation.

Standing above him while practically hissing with a weird tonic of amusement and ravenous lust, the misscreation of a being had snake like golden eyes half covered by violet hued ringlets that stuck to his moist bone white skin. The incubuses body was lithe and slinky like a serpent while he was practically slithering in his spot, eyeing Ichigo like his next meal. The slash on his arm painted his desolate skin with a stark contrast of cardinal red, but to him, that was of little significance. Letting his slimy tongue slide across his parted lips, he moaned, "Mhhm, you're so delicious. I'm so glad that just me and Nightmare decided to stay. All the other hallows were intimidated by all that power, but look at me.." he cocked an eye brow, now getting on his knees above a panicked Ichigo. Grasping his frigid Skelton-esq fingers onto Ichigo's chin, he continued, "Now I have that power in my mouth."

Ichigo tried desperately to scream, to move, to react; All his body could do was writhe and arc in a pitiful attempt to escape. Despite his frenzied movement, his strength was just to depleted. He was stuck in abject desperation, unable to get away from this creature without help. Though he could speak, only just above a whisper, nothing loud enough to signal for someone.

' _Who is Nightmare? How the fuck did I end up like this? What do I do?'_

Readying him self to take the rest of Ichgio's energy, he tried to press his lips to the Captains, but he violently yanked his chin back and forth while his lips went aquiver with fear of the inevitable.

"Oh," the hallow blinked repetitively and put on a grimy smirk, "Playing hard to get, huh? You were having so much fun earlier, your body was practically begging for it. Maybe you'd like it better it I," his form changed back into that of Byakuya Kuchiki, "looked like this."

An indignant heat filled Ichigo. Despite his desperation, if he was going to die, he was going to die with his pride. Gathering all the saliva in his dry mouth, he spate in the imitations face before scowling through clenched teeth. With a contained yet irate voice, he cursed, "you … don't.. get..to fucking..imitate him."

With that, the hallow turned back into his snake like appearance before his cracked lips exploded into a gapping smile. Almost purring, he said, "Fun fun, I like it when a guy is a little nasty. I never knew you were into that stuff." Holding down Ichgio's wrist, he continued as he unraveled his loin cloth like wrap around his waist, exposing the rest of his bulging erection, "Since you wont let me take the rest of you that way, I'll have to take it _this_ way,"

At the sight, Ichigo's whole body trembled, his hands and legs desperately thrashing to get away, his whole body flailing relentlessly. He could feel tears stifle his breathing, swelling his throat, and painting his face. This couldn't be it, he couldn't die this way, not after everything, not like _this_. Byakuya would find him like this, a used up corps, a lifeless sack of flesh that was left completely nude and torn from the inside out, seeping with a mixture of blood and this demon's poisoned juices. How shameful, how completely and utterly embarrassed he felt at the idea.

' _It can't end like this, no fucking way. I don't want this monster to be the last thing I feel inside of me. I don't want to be found like this. I want..I want..Byakuya.'_ Ichigo, the man who never allowed for anyone to help him, who bared the protection of the whole world on his shoulders, wanted to be saved, and not by just anyone, but by Byakuya. He didn't care how humiliated he felt or how prideful he was, he didn't want to not see Byakuya and the rest of his friends and family again.

As the hallow prepared to push him self into Ichigo, the boy cried harder while cringing inwardly. _'This really is it. This thing is going to tear me apart; I'm going to fucking die her-'_

The flash of pink and the whiff of Sakura blossoms filling his nostrils caused Ichigo to release a deep sigh, for he had been holding his breath in complete terror. The hallow was propelled off of Ichigo, stuck in a barrage of pink blades. Ichigo pulled up the tattered haori, covering his exposed body and grappling for his zanpakuto. He stuck it in the ground and pulled up on the hilt, trying to will him self up once again.

He was stopped by the sensation of a firm hand on his shoulder and a pair of murky coal eyes. Ichigo was sure he smiled, though in his half conscious state that wasn't to clear. All he knew was that he was fucking elated that it was Byakuya's cold and sharp orbs staring down at him, for he was sure anyone else would look at him with pity, but Byakuya just looked the way he always looked at Ichigo, only a bit softer. "Stay down," he demanded in a voice that was as comforting as the lull of soft ripples on the surface of the ocean.

Ichigo shook his head in disagreement, trying once more to stand as he cursed, "No fucking…. way, Byakuya," his weak voice strained out, "After what that prick did to me, I'm going to kill him-"

This time the hand was much more forceful, sending him flying back on his butt, "Enough," Byakuya demanded, his voice was still relatively calm and his eyes still their usually distant selfs, only his orbs seemed to gape slightly in frustration and his voice had a slight inflection of concern, much to Ichigo's bewilderment. "Do you not grasp the severity of your condition? Acting like an audacious child, running into battle without thinking, do you not think of how this affects others, yourself?" Holding his hand out, he sent another arsenal of cherry blossoms towards the hallow who was already withering and expiring within the assault. "You're a great warrior, but you must try to be less impetuous," he closed his eyes briefly, trying to hide the glint of pain he felt when he thought Ichigo had truly died.

At the genuine concern shinning through Byakuya's criticism, Ichigo was baffled. He resigned to his spot on the damp ground and nodded slightly before responding meekly, "You're … right, Byakuya. I'm sorry, I… didn't mean … to worry you."

After a stern glare and a huff of relief, Byakuya fixed his glare of death onto the creature before walking closer. "And you," he rose his hand, preparing to attack the hallow once more. "How dare you sully Kurosaki with your depraved hands," he sent an assault of beautiful death at the hallow, finishing him with that one strike.

Ichigo was sitting back on his palms, trying to grasp on to his last bit of consciousness as his lugs shuttered in his chest. Looking down at him was the man he adored, coal murky eyes seeming to burrow into his. Much to Ichigo's puzzlement, Byakuya undid the ties of his uniform and let it drape around his waist, leaving his bare torso exposed to the crisp summer air. Kneeling down, he did the same to Ichigo before lifting him up in his arms bridal style.

If Ichigo wasn't so completely out of it, he would have turned crimson from embarrassment and lust. Scowling slightly, his heavy honey orbs floated back and forth while staring up at Byakuya's face through the stark bright sun. Feeling light headed, he resigned to the pure felicity of Byakuya's arms, digging his head into the broad chest. "What..are..you-?"

"Shh-" Byakuya hushed him, now walking under the shade of a tree and holding the man against him before they sat on the ground. "Your spiritual pressure is so weak that you'll need a transfusion to regain your strength and allow your energy to replenish on it's own. However, since time is of the essence and we're unable to return, I'm giving you some of mine." He chanted a short incantation before clarifying, "It's a special type of Kido that'll allow you some of my pressure. It will help to revive your flow. The skin to skin contact increases the rate and amount at which you're able to receive my pressure," averting his eyes slightly, he said in a flat tone, "However, sometimes an individual will reject the energy transfusion, but It works especially well if the two share a bond of some sort."

Both of their skin glowed with a soft blue aura as Ichigo felt the sensation of Byakuya's stanch spiritual pressure fill his body and work its way through his blood stream. Head still burrowing into Byakuya's chest, Ichigo closed his eyes while speaking, still managing to smirk slightly at Byakuya's implication, "So..you're admitting..we have a bond?"

Rolling his eyes slightly, Byakuya leaned his head against the bark of the tree and fixed his blank eyes straight ahead before he replied, "Much like a parasite has to it's host."

Giving a weak and breathy chuckle, Ichigo said, "It's okay if you can't … admit it yet."

"I see even at deaths doorstep you're still unable to cease that mouth of yours." Byakuya let out a sigh, taking in Ichigo's flushed and lethargic features. He was also preforming a sleep kido on the Captain, knowing the man needed his rest.

Ichigo's features gapped slightly, his enervated eyes shimmering with a hint of concern. "Byakuya … our third-"

"They expired long before my arrival,' he closed his eyes before sighing and averting his gaze in his third seats direction, who lied stiff from rigor mortis a whole ten years away. An apparent sadness shined through his stormy sea of gray as he took in the bereavement. He continued in a somewhat cold voice, "She has a husband."

A lengthy epoch of somber silence ensued, leaving the truth behind Byakuya's words hanging in the air. Those words were like a round house kick to the stomach for Ichgio. Byakuya use to be somebodies husband. He lost the person he loved the most just as Ichigo did, and also just like Ichigo, he didn't want someone else to experience that pain.

Finally, he continued, "I'll have to call in the fourth division to retrieve the bodies. Though I'd like to deliver the news to her husband myself, I certainly couldn't leave the platoon alone, especially with you in such a weakened condition."

"You don't have ta' worry about me," Ichigo muttered.

Taking in the man's tenuous state, he replied, "As you can obviously see, that isn't the case."

Managing to open his eyes, he caught Byakuya's slightly troubled gaze for an evanescent moment. He said, "I was too weak..I'm sorry I worried you, but … thank you for … saving me."

' _Your memory saved me, actually,'_ he thought to him self.

"You may very well think of my criticism as pure belittlement, but It's truly for the sake of your life and your comrades. Your power is bounds above that hallow. He was using some type of power that mimics Kido, a power that drugged you, correct?" Not waiting for a response, he continued, "Even the strongest soul reaper could fall victim to such an attack if their acting impetuously."

Ichigo knew Byakuya was right, and felt truly grateful for his advice and guidance, but more so, he was grateful for his touch. With his eyes closed, he asked, "and the villagers …. the kids, are they okay?"

"Yes, they're fine."

Ichigo's dry lips stretched into a slight smile before he responded. "That girl, she had tons of spiritual pressure … she kind of reminded me of my sister," Ichigo mumbled out, half way in-between consciousness and sleep.

Pursing his lips, Byakuya lectured with his usually indifferent voice, "Ah, I understand that your intentions are pure, though you should reframe from such grandiose claims and becoming so attached. The protection of souls are important, but-"

"How..can you say that, Byakuya," the boy questioned, his face still slumped against the noble's chest in peaceful rest, "when you're just .. like .. me?" The noble's eye twitched slightly at the question as he listened to Ichigo's barely sensible murmurs. "We've both lost people who ….. were really … important to us. So we've always pushed others away …. while baring the protection ….. of others all on our own shoulders. You care about protecting people …. just as much as I do..you just … don't want to get close to those people because …. you don't wanna' hurt like before, you're worried you won't be able to protect them..I get it.." as his body started to tingle and twitch from the onset of sleep, he whispered right before he lost consciousness, "I think … that's one of the things … that make's me … love … yo .."

With Ichgio now asleep, Byakuya looked down at him with a mixture of frustration and adoration, "And what does some rash punk know about me?" he asked to no one, using the pad of his thumb to swipe away orange locks. Narrowing his eye brows at the man, he asked as if he half expected a response, "and more so, where do you get off making such ludicrous claims, saying you love me?" he huffed slightly, "Why must you make everything so…" Byakuya searched for the right word while running his thumb across Ichigo's lips, taking in every millimeter of the man he found so captivating. "…difficult..?"

' _If I arrived just a moment later he would be gone, and I'd feel … empty again. Isn't that what I want..? Yes, but never at the expense of Kurosaki. If he truly died I'd..'_ Byakuay sighed, shaking him self from his train of thought. Instead, he enjoyed the relief he felt to be holding Ichigo there.

The feeling of his skin against Ichigo's gave way to a strong impetus, filling Byakuya with a sudden avidity to touch Ichigo's lips with his own. Being around him had made a difficult situation dire, Byakuya didn't quite understand just how tenacious of an attraction it was, physically and emotionally. Denying it was becoming a full time job. In the privacy of the moment, he sighed in frustration, yet gave into his wants and pressed his lips into Ichigo's. Though he was completely unconscious, his subconscious mind gave way to an eager reaction as his lips moved in sync with Byakuya's, returning the kiss with full intensity. Feeling him self becoming overwhelming aroused, Byakuya stopped the kiss, to which a sleepy Ichigo responded by nuzzling his head into Byakuya's collar bone.

Scowling at his lack of resolve, he said aloud, "I suppose it's better that I did that while you're in this state. If I were to concede to my own desires when you were awake that would surely complicate things; You'd never let me live it down."

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"No fucking way," Renji cursed dubiously, "You're joking, right?"

With her face plastered on the wooden bar and buried in her arms, Rukia let out a long groan to signify her abject drunkenness. Lifting up her head, she glared at her companion with floating eyes and a face highlighted with different shades of red. "Does this look like the face of amusement?" Rukia slurred, picking up her beer to take another sizable gulp.

"Huh," Renji let out a surprised huff. "Captain and fruit for brains? So that's why they were both acting so weird. Fuck, I can't believe it, who would have paired those two together? Geez, I can't wait to give that punk an ear full about this, " he smirked slightly, only to cringe at the sensation of Rukia slamming her fist into his shoulder.

"This is nothing worth smiling about!" she moaned out, staring the man down with a face that was a mixture of enraged and pitiful.

"Phhh-," he laughed to the contrary, "You're kidding right? This is years worth of prime shit talking material, this kind of thing doesn't just fall in your lap every day." Somewhat apprehensively, he shrugged his shoulders and gave Rukia a side glance before poising, "Besides, if it makes them happy, then why not, right?" Renji clenched his jaw slightly, nervous for the fervent reply that he knew was inevitable.

Rukia was absent minded as she scratched off her beer label and sighed, "Yeah, but they didnt have to lie about it."

Renji finished his beer before leaning back against the bar, elbows slung casually off the back of a chair. Narrowing his eye brows at the girl, he responded, "I don't think thats why you're so angry."

Scowling at the man, she anchored her hand on her hip and stood confidently in front of him. Indignantly, she asked, "What do you want me to say? That I'm angry Nii-sama knowingly fucked the guy I'm in love with? Of course, I am," shaking her head slightly, she muttered, "but to add injury to insult, both of them lied to my face." Now leaning against the bar, she sloshed on, "So yeah, I'm pissed, not to mention humiliated … and sad."

"I'm sure their going to tell you. The way you explained it to me, it seems like they don't really have this stuff figured out them selves," Renji defended.

When Rukia said nothing, he grunted slightly and decided to be a little more honest than usual. "What makes you so in love with the guy anyway?" At Rukia's gapping features, Renji clarified, "Don't get me wrong, I know he's a great dude and all, but sometimes I think you just idolize the guy, and that not love."

"That's not true!" Rukia boomed out, "I-"

Renji cut her off, not done saying what he wanted to say, "I get you guys share this bond because of the power thing, and the fact he came into your life and changed everything, but maybe you put to much on that stuff. Maybe the real reason is because he reminds you off-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Renji," Rukia scowled, her blood shot eyes narrowed furiously at him.

Putting his hands up defensively, he went on to say, "I'm just saying, if you could move on and just see Ichigo as a friend you'd be a lot happier. Maybe you'd see other options," he grunted as his sentence trailed off, trying to gather some nerve. "Maybe the right person is right there, you just never gave it any thought because you're too stuck up Ichigo's ass."

Swaying slightly, Rukia gave Renji, who was swigging his beer and fidgeting his hands nervously, a dubious look. "What are you talking about, Renji?"

Inhaling deeply, Renji let out all of his reservations as he bent down to Rukia's hight and kissed her softly yet briefly while Rukia's features gapped in alertness, though she stayed glued to her spot. After their lips separated, Rukia looked up at her life long friend completely speechless. "Think of me, that's what I'm saying. I know you don't, but you've never thought to, so now I want you to, ya know, think of me," he paused briefly before saying, "maybe you'll like what you think of," and with that, he walked away, leaving Rukia with her fingertips running across her tingling lips.

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In the middle of the night, Ichigo awoken with his spiritual pressure revived, for the most part, and feeling refreshed. Someone had cleaned all the dirt and grim off of him and changed him into a fresh haori, though he could still feel the slimy and grotesque clutches of that hallow imprinted on his skin. No amount of cleaning could wash away such a feeling of being violated. However, the memory of being held so closely to Byakuya negated that sensation; Overwhelmed the disgust with a light hearted flutter of the stomach. Especially since he could still feel Byaukuya's spiritual pressure lingering and mingling with his, setting his skin ablaze.

The Captain sat up from his cot and found his zanpakuto before slinging them around his shoulder. He hastily made his way to the front door in hopes of obtaining a progress report on what he missed while he was out of it. Outside, he found two foot soldiers standing guard of the cabin, they informed him that Byakuya led the rest of the platoon in a search for the second hallow that had been the partner of that soul sucking serpent, leaving them behind as watch dogs.

Giving a half hearted grunt in response, Ichigo walked down the steps of the cabin and wiggled his bare toes onto the dewy blades of grass, inhaling the refreshing sent of petrichor. Turning his head back to the two soldiers, he said, "I need to clear my head, I'm going for a walk," to which both soldiers urged him to let them accompany him, saying he wasn't at full strength and he shouldn't be alone.

Ichigo scowled before throwing them a slight smirk and responding, "I know Captain Kuchiki probably ordered you guys to stay with me, but I don't need any baby sitters. I'll be fine." At their persistent insistence, Ichigo grimaced and grunted out, "Guys, don't make me play the Captain card." This mixed with a serious glare was enough to stop their pleads. With that, Ichigo walked away, aimlessly in pursuit for some peace of mind.

Near the cabin lied a pathway lined with some shrubbery, at the end of the path was a small lake. Ichigo took refuge at the water line. With his chin pressed against his knee, he looked pensively into his rippled reflection that was made barely visible by the illumination of the moon. His first mission as a Captain and he'd already lost a solider and almost got him self killed, how completely inadequate he felt. To Ichigo's thinking, it was his own faults that lead to the death of his third seat, his mistakes, his inability to make the right decision. This was his nightmare acted out in front of him.

His plight was interrupted by the sound of footsteps glidings up behind him. Even without the faceless footsteps saying a word, Ichigo knew who that saunter belonged to.

"We had not luck in finding the hallow's accomplice," said the voice.

Ichigo merely grunted, barely paying the words any mind.

"It wasn't your fault, Kurosaki, so don't beat your self up," came the flat yet knowing voice of Byakuya.

Ichigo glanced over his shoulder once before fixating his troubled glare onto the barely visible horizon line. "I guess you can read me pretty well, huh?"

Still keeping his place behind Ichigo, Byakuya responded, "I suppose, however, you're not exactly a closed book, mind you." Now gliding over next to Ichigo, the august man straightened out his haori before he sat down beside the man and fixed his eyes into the water just as intensely as Ichigo was. "It was just as much my strategy as it was yours. At the time, it was the most logical and sensible plan. We did all we could."

Shaking his head in dissidence, the younger man's scowl was barely highlighted for the noble to catch. Ichigo countered fervidly, "Someone died, Byakuya," sighing and dropping the severity of his voice slightly, he continued, "If I can't even protect one person than what is this all worth anyway?"

"You're correct. Someone did die today, however, both of those soldiers took an internal oath just as you did. They took an oath to lay down their lives for the protection of the Soul Society, and despite how tragic it is, they would have wanted it no other way," he moved his glare from the rippling water back onto the crestfallen orbs of Ichigo who was listening with full attention. "This is the consequence of the lives we have chosen. Not being able to save a life doesn't make you inadequate or inferior, not when you look at the bigger picture and see all the souls you _will_ save. You must learn that you won't be able to save everybody, and that's okay."

Ichigo's features went slack as he sat in somber silence, intertwining his fingers while he absorbed Byakuya's words. Affection and concern for Ichigo was like being caught in a rip tide, swimming against it did Byakuya no good. Perhaps he couldn't be Ichigo's lover, but he was to invested to not approach him with sincerity and tenderness, to not be the mentor Ichigo needed in these critical moments. Try as he might to hold his tongue or to create distance, his soul and body always revolted against his will, as if they were perceiving something Byakuya was unaware of. Because of this, in the silence that fell in-between them, Byakuya became rather loquacious, the words were effervescent from his throat. "I too felt as you did when I lost my first squad member. I had not been a Captain for very long when I was assigned to a mission very similar to this once. During a hallow invasion, despite my efforts, I let a platoon member die," He burrowed his eyes into Ichigo. Thought they did not sway in their confidence, he could see a slight shimmer of bitter nostalgia. "I watched them die right in front of me, and though I put on a brave face and acted rather unaffected, it stayed with me for quite sometime. In the end, it started to affect my proficiency as a leader. I soon realized that barring such a weight was unfair to the rest of my division and myself. I wasn't doing anyone any favors by constantly doubting my self, all I was doing was putting everyone around me in danger."

Ichigo mouth gapped in subtle surprise as he listened to the man's tail. This Byakuya was so reminiscent to the man Ichigo had made love to, debonair yet authentic, logical yet still so tender, able to give Ichigo the words he needed without making him feel small. What had changed within Byakuya? He wasn't a capricious man by nature, so had something changed within the man's heart? Here he was, not only offering guidance, but he was letting Ichigo see a scintilla of him self, something not many were privy to. It took all of Ichigo's will to not let a toothy smile light up his face, for this sudden change of heart from Byakuya was pure felicity. The simple manner of which Byakuya counterpoised him, anchoring out his rash behavior while making him feel assured was new and refreshing, something he could surely get use to.

Putting on a slight smirk, Ichigo said wryly, "I'm just learning all about you today."

Cocking an eyebrow at the man, Byakuya questioned, "Such as?"

Leaning back on his palms, Ichigo hummed pensively and said, "For starters, you play the violin and can change a string in one minute flat, thats pretty cool."

"Is that so surprising?" he asked rather flatly.

Nudging the man playfully, he teased sarcastically, "Nah, I always thought the violin was kinda' boring," smirking at the man, "sortta' like you."

"Being called boring by the likes of _you_ is probably a compliment," he teased back, allowing him self to fall into the snarky tit for tat that he couldn't help but revel in.

Shrugging his shoulder, Ichigo said, "Eh, I don't have a lot of experience with it, but everything's about perspective, right? Maybe If I saw you play I'd think differently." He gave Byakuya a smile of earnestness, feeling so at ease by the man's presence.

Though he was unsure as to why, Byakuya found him self saying, "Perhaps I can show you one day," before he could bite his tongue. Despite his immediate regret, he didn't rescind his comment, for in the moment, he meant it. Feeling an over all buoyancy being around Ichigo, the noble threw caution to the wind, wanting to just enjoy the simplicity of the moment.

Averting his slightly flushed cheeks, Ichigo murmured, "That would be nice," before quickly changing the subject. "I think I would have wanted to learn to play an instrument if I was still in the living world. Nothing quite so fancy and eloquent as a violin," tapping his finger on his knee in repetition, he pondered, "Maybe something like drums."

Smiling inwardly at the idea, Byakuya quipped, "You would chose something as animated and graceless as you are."

"Don't forget loud," came the snarky reply accompanied by a shit eating grin.

Letting out a breathy chuckle, Byakuya countered, "How could I?"

The mellifluous sound of even such a shallow laugh made Ichigo's stomach do summersaults, and he was the cause of such a spectacular noise. It was such a rare and tantalizing sound that Ichigo felt as if he was holding precious gems within his clutches. From that moment forth, he knew that sound would be a constant high that he sought after, now more than ever, he couldn't give up on his opaqued odyssey to gain Byakuya's heart. After an ephemeral moment of dawning a gawky smile, Ichigo snapped from his inner thoughts.

"And you like kids, even though you probably don't want anyone to know that," Ichigo declared, cocking an amused eyebrow.

With a smirk veiled by the darkness, Byakuya teased, "Well I do spend time with you, do I not?"

For whatever reason, Ichigo wanted to push the situation and test Byakuya's limits. Despite not knowing how the noble would respond to the unsolicited gesture, Ichigo wanted to know just what he could get away with, but more so, he wanted to propel Byakuya out of his comfort zone, a place he would never willing exist him self. Perhaps, buried underneath that desire was a more fundamental want, a want to touch the raven haired beauty. Bypassing the man's sarcasm, Ichigo said sincerely, "I saw what you did for those kids," he gently moved his hand over the top of Byakuya's, letting his warm grasp caress the lithe fingers, "You're more compassionate than you realize."

Ichigo could feel Byakuya's pulse hasten as he averted his gaze, trying to suppress the avidity he felt at the gentle brush of his hand. Despite how tantalizing he found the mere gesture, despite how much he wanted that touch and _more_ , the Captain couldn't even cope with the complications that came along with wanting such a touch, let alone the complexities of actually having it. Though he kept his hand in place, he tightened his grasp, tensing his whole demeanor at the touch. Even though he wanted to yank it away and start off on an indignant tirade, Byakuya merely sighed and responded softly, his voice flat and desolate, "Kurosaki …. why must you complicate such simple matters?"

Grasping the clenched hand tightly, Ichgio replied bluntly, "What's so complicated? You like this and so do I, you don't have to be scared of that, ya know." Byakuya's glare was blank as he stared at Ichigo, an unnerving epoch of silence fell between the two. When no response came, Ichigo moved closer while swallowing down his nerves. He spoke in the simple and honest way that was unique to him. "Even though I was out of it, I meant everything I said earlier," Keeping his gaze fixed on Byakuya's bruiting eyes, he continued with resolve, "You lost your most important person, now you _chose_ to be empty and runaway from anything that could remotely make you feel something," running a finger down Byakuya's cladded shoulder, trailing down his silky arm, he declared, "It doesn't have to be like that, because you're not empty, Byakuya."

The raven haired man scooted slightly, trying to create the feeling of distance between the two. Though he wanted to get angry and start arrogantly listing all the reasons Ichigo was wrong, he didn't. Instead, he merely looked through the darkness and into Ichigo's honey orbs, his blank eyes fixated into the man as he tried to figure out what to say. He tried to will his hand or his mouth to move, but it was as if his body wouldn't make any decision at all. In that fleeting moment, Byakuya fell victim to the perpetual silence, frightened that whatever he said would be wrong.

Before any words were exchanged, the feeling of a staunch, erratic, and terrified spiritual pressure filled the air. It was completely out of control, as if it was screaming for help. This familiar pressure caught both the Captain's attention immediately.

Removing his hand from Byakuya's, both men stood quickly, taking in their surroundings. "That pressure, it belongs to the girl from the village. Do you think it has anything to do with that hallow?" Ichigo asked as he placed both of his zanpakuto on his back.

"There's only one way to find out," he replied, giving Ichigo a serious look. "I'll go, you're still recovering from your last encounter."

"Tch-" Ichigo scoffed, throwing the man an indignant glare, "Like hell that's happening. Besides, you're not at full strength either, Byakuya. You gave me way to much of your spiritual energy."

Narrowing his authoritative eyes on Ichigo, he counter, "I did no such thing, be-"

"We're going together," Ichigo proclaimed in a voice that yielded no argument as he turned to flash away, "Besides, we work better as a team."

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

In the midst of a tranquil dream, little Ayumi stood up from her cot located amongst her friends. With eyes peeled shut, her tiny feet maneuvered around the dozen or so bodies laying on the ground and out the door. Deep in the void of her dream, she saw what looked like a ball of glowing lights adorned with wings. Something about the ethereal being drew her in, piquing her interest.

While sleepwalking, she followed the warm and benevolent presence of this unknown being into the outside, stopping as she noticed a purple and pink sky with stars gleaming with such a luminous gradient of colors, and each so close that they looked like tiny planets. It was almost as if god was playing a game of marbles in the sky.

As the incandescent creature soared through the effulgent sky, Ayumi chased it relentlessly. The child like giggle's of her friends and their rapidly moving legs chasing after the same light was a catalyst for her hasty moments. The group of kids looked over their shoulders and called her name, waving her on in a hurry.

She ran with felicity, feeling completely care free as she began a mixture of galloping and skipping with her comrades. Moving through some shrubbery and down a lambent path shrouded with multi color chrysanthemums. Catching up to the group, one of the children grasped Ayumi's hand and told her to hurry up, exuberant with child like giddiness, the two skipped hand in hand down the path.

The end of the path gleamed with a blinding light, veiling what came after. Once the two moved through the wall of light, Ayumi's world changed. Looking around her, she saw that she was alone in the forest surrounding her village, only the feeling of optimism and curiosity were no more, it was traded out for a feelings of ominous dread.

The bark of the trees seemed different almost, as if the wood was contorting and twisting into eerie faces, the limbs vibrating against the blackness. An overwhelming smell of burning flesh and smoke filled her shaky lungs, followed by the abject wails of her friends.

Frantically, she looked around her, twisting and turning while yelling out her friends names in hopes to find them. As she continued to move through the opaqued forest, her sore feet gave way from panicked movements, terror filling her lungs in the form of sharp hurried breaths.

Red flames over took her sight as the trees around her went ablaze, each of the creepy faces melting into something much more sinister looking. As she continued to hear their wails, she yelled desperately for her friends, only to find her movements stopped. The limbs of the tree uncoiled them selfs and went flying through the night, recoiling around the girls wrist and ankles tightly, digging into her tiny limbs as she dangled mid air.

The sight playing out in front of her elicited terror as she froze, her cries and screams stifled by bafflement. Her friends were caught in the fire, unable to escape its searing clutches. The wails of her friends intensified as their skin began to char and melt from their bones while the malodorous blistering skin filled the air. She blinked repeatedly at the sight until she began sobbing, only hoping her tears would put out the flames. Watching as each of her friends withered away, each one calling her name for help, she didn't feel the immense heat of the flames. Instead, the trees held her in what seemed like a protective bubble, forcing this nefarious voyeurism.

No, she was cold with terror, frozen in this never ending nightmare.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey guys! I'm back, finally. This chapter is rather short. I'm sorry for such a long hiatus, I've been really preoccupied with my other stories and classes. Thank you for all of the favorites on this story!**

 **If you like my stories and want to support me, check out the other stories I'm working on. I'm working on my ByaIchi sequel, "The Masked We Wear: Cracked" and a ByaIchi/ Ikkauk X Yumichika AU titled "The Ballad of the Beauty and the Brat."**

 **xXx**

" _And with one kiss,_

 _you inspired a fire of devotion_

 _that lasted for twenty years._

 _What kind of man loves like this?_

 _To let me dangle at a cruel angle,_

 _oh my feet don't touch the floor._

 _Sometimes you're half in and then you're half out,_

 _but you never close the door" - Florence and The Machine "What Kind Of Man."_

 **xXx**

 **This Ship Was Made To Sink**

 **xXx**

Racing through the chaotic tenebrosity, Ichigo and Byakuya felt the surging of delirious spiritual pressure peak, only amplified by high pitch shills as they moved closer to the source of the commotion. Flash stepping through thorny and dense thickets, the scream seized as they grew closer. This was only a stimulant for Ichigo's frantic movements.

Through an opening in the the vines, there was a clear plot of land, unsullied by the thick topiary. Upon entering the clearing, Ichigo's flash came to a halt as his eyes widened at the sight in front of him.

The little girl. She was slumped on the ground by a looming pine, the last of her visible pressure was floating mid air as it was consumed by the succubus of a hallow, who was now giving a profligate grin of fulfilled voracity. As Day Dream fed off of Ichigo's lust, this beast fed off of screams and pain, able to drain a person's energy. The sickly creature turned to Ichigo with the most gut churning grin of satisfaction, licking his lips and wiping his mouth in a sort of challenging manner.

"Ah, I see my main course has arrived," taunted the beast.

Byakuya had zoomed behind him, standing defensively in close contact to the new Captain. His brows netted as he took in the situation. It didn't take long for him to look at the pale and sunken cheeks of the little girl. Her movements absolutely seized, not even the light rise and fall of shallow breaths marked her chest. She was deathly still.

A fresh cadaver.

At the sight, the susurrus of Byakuya's empathetic voice filled the intense quiet. "Ichigo.." he whispered, almost wantonly so, forgoing his usual formality.

It was all static, incessant white noise in the face of Ichigo's deafening rage. Vacillating his gaze from the lifeless girl to the monster, his anger was tightly constrained into a slowly and edgy tone as he stated, "You disgusting monster, I'll make sure you'll never do this to anyone else."

While Ichigo grabbed for his zanpakuto, the Hallow wagged a finger in disapproval, as if to mock him. "Uh-uh-uh," he denounced before forming a Cero ball in front of his chest. Only, he didn't aim the Cero towards the the Captains, but in the direction of the corps situated by the tree, obviously trying to egg Ichigo on.

Ichigo's face split in frantic animosity, taking no time to zoom towards the girl. He wouldn't let the hallow insult her further by dismantling her body.

Almost before Ichigo even set off into motion, Byakuya reached out and urged, "No, don't! Can't you see he's trying to trick you, fool?" But it was too late, Ichigo was off in a mad cap.

The blast hit it's target right within Ichigo's grasp, mutilating and dismembering the inert limbs, sending blood and fragments of intertwining appendages soaring. Ichigo felt the grip of a strong hand on his haori, pulling him away from the blast before his innards could add more red to the already blood festooned bark of surrounding trees.

For a moment, Ichigo had fallen back onto the dank ground. His ears were ringing and his balance was punk drunk. After a brief wrinkle in time, the man took notice to the feeling of tepid blood trailing his face and painting his quivering hands. He looked down at the shaking digits, his mouth gaped and his eyes filled with a fury Byakuya was sure he hadn't seen.

Ichigo stood staring at the fluid cover hands, quiet, trembling, exuberant with the purest hate Ichigo had ever felt. Everything went red.

After that, it all happened in a flash. So swift and nimble was Ichigo's incursion that Byakuya couldn't keep up. One moment Ichigo was staring off in utter, haunting befuddlement, and the next, the demon was sliced up on the ground, equally as lifeless as the girl.

He never had a chance, and the fact he thought he was getting out alive was only a testimony to his madness.

Ichigo stood looming over the body and turned away from Byakuya. An oppressive silence filled the space between them. The spidered haired Captain wasn't even certain if Ichigo was completely there, for he saw something snap in his eyes in the millisecond before he'd slay the hallow. Not knowing where exactly Ichigo's current mental stated lied, Byakuya approached rather slowly in the same way someone would try to awake a sleep walker. It was a dangerous task to break someone out of one state of mind and into another with out circumspection.

Only a few short steps into invading the four yard distance between the two, Ichigo zoomed off without word or explanation, and of course, Byakuya followed.

He'd always follow Ichigo.

 **xXx**

When Ichigo was in his sealed state, Byakuya could out flash him on his best day, but tonight, however, Ichigo was running off of some visceral need to get away. His speed was stifling, and admittedly, Byakuya found him self having a difficult time keeping up.

Ichigo had returned to the lake Byakuya had found him at earlier. Upon jolting to a stop, he saw Ichigo crouched down, frantically scrubbing the hemoglobin of his face and hands. Viscously, he rubbed his nails into his palms, trying to get every last speck of the skin tingling fluid off of his hands.

Still, no matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn't not feel the sensation of the child's blood jaundicing his skin. He rubbed and rubbed until his hands were raw, Byakuya watching on pitifully at the display of scourge and brittleness. Ichigo's cup was overflowing, and it wasn't just the girls death that caused it. It was everything. Having to leave home, not being able to protect his friends and family, not being able to protect his squad, not being able to get a hold of this Captain position, the emptiness he had been feeling. Ichigo felt like his world was crumbling and he could feel in seeping through his fingertips like rain droplets.

It was a feeling Byakuya was keen to, a feeling that, when adorned by Ichigo, broke any resolve the man had. With out thought, he knelt down beside the man and grasped his hands. For a brief moment, Ichigo stared down at the hands cupping his, his features marked with shock as he finally perceived Byakuya. Finally, he was broken from his inner turmoil. Still, his face just sat in alertness as his honey eye, brimming with the threat of tears, gaped up at Byakuya. His mouth was equally parted as he attempted to make words, but his voice seemed to allude him.

"I- I…" Ichigo stuttered.

"This isn't your fault," Byakuay assured rather empathetically.

"I know. I know there was nothing I could have changed, but.. " Ichigo's razor sharp words were in a whispered tone. "But this wasn't how it was suppose to be. I should have been able to protect her. I should be able to protect my family and friends, but I can't. That was the whole purpose for me taking on these powers in the first place," his voice cracked at the heaviness of his own emotions. "I should be better, not so fucking weak and brittle. This wasn't how it was suppose to be. I thought I was such a hot shot. I saved the world, I thought, I can do anything, but look at me," he shook his head in a self depreciating manner. "I can't even get a grasp on my own emotions. It feels like everything's crumbling. What a fucking disappointment I must be to you. No wonder you can't find it in you to love me the way I love you."

At the words, Byakuya's brows netted and his face became austere, if not purely indignant. "Silence," he commanded. At Ichigo throwing him a perplexed look, he continued, "Never say such words again. Do you know why, when I was sure I was at deaths door step, It was you I told my last words to?" Not giving Ichigo time to respond, he explained, "Because I trust you more than I trust anyone else in this vast universe."

Ichigo faltered slightly, giving a bemused look. "I trust you more than anyone to protect this world and the people important to me," he brought Ichigo's hand to his pearly cheek, petting it affectionally. "You're the most resiliently determined man I know. Time and time again, you defied the impossible and over came self doubt. It's normal to have this self doubt, but you must realize, it is something you will once again over come. This doubt isn't based in truth, but merely fear," he spoke softer now, never braking his gaze with Ichigo's prostrated eyes. "Fear you'll overcome as you always do. You're a spectacle, Kurosaki Ichigo, and there is not a single facet of you that disappoints me. Trust that I am your greatest fan."

Ichigo's features were aquiver, over filling with the pent up emotions he'd been suppressing since he'd came to live in the Soul Society. The tears broke the water line of his eyes, cascading down his ruddy cheeks in the form of silent sobs. Byakuya could see all the anguish he was now, for the first time, allowing him self to feel to it's fullest.

Though he knew he shouldn't, despite knowing this changed nothing, Byakuya couldn't stop him self. It was selfish, really. This overwhelming desire to take away every last bit of pain in Ichigo's soul was burrowing a hole in his once unused heart. He was feeling emotions he forgot existed.

Tempestuously, and very much unlike him self, Byakuya let rest any doubts. Releasing his hands from Ichigo's, he cupped the man's cheek in his own, the skin to skin contact only seeming to intensify the tears. Running a hand over the flushed, damp skin, Byakuya took in every pore like he was observing a beautiful painting. He was taking in the features that were a mix of puzzled and pained. His rich baritone broke the silence as he whispered, "Beautiful.. absolutely perfect."

Byakuya pressed his soft sakura hued lips on Ichigo's face, so tenderly that it could barely be considered kisses. His dulcet labrum trailed kisses on Ichigo's cheek, tasting the saline, finding it to be the salty catharsis he needed for the pain in his heart. Ichigo squeezed his eye lids shut for a brief moment, draining the excess tears sitting in his sclera. Byakuya took the moment to feather kisses on his fluttering eye lids, tasting every part of Ichigo's face. Each kiss was softer and lingered longer than the last.

Finally, Ichigo regained his voice that he lost at the shock of such affection. "Byakuya.. what are you doi-"

He was cut off by Byakuay's spine tingling lips colliding with his just barely, only brushing them with his tepid breath. "Ichigo.." he suplicated with an even keel yet wistful tone. "Please, let me comfort you."

Ichigo merely nodded and took no time in seeking refuge in Byakuya's parted lips. They shared the most gentle, slow kisses for what seemed like eternity. Each kiss was deeper and eventually met by the intermingling of their tongues, but each still as slow and meticulous. They shared in the sensual heart warming act of simple affection and nothing else. Never breaking their osculation, Byakuya wrapped Ichigo in his arms and laid him down. Their limbs collided like atoms, creating such a beautiful and poignant energy. And though their was an undoubtable lust backing their actions, though they both wanted each others bodies in every sense of the word, they yielded. Such a pure moment of comfort and unspoken love needed nothing else. Any thing else seemed as if it would sully and complicate such a dazzling assignation.

Byakuya had never tangled in something so sensual yet so virtuous. While their squads slept, the two shared in this tranquility for a couple of hours, only allowing their lips and finger pads to palpate each others already clement, exposed dermises, like crimson collar bones or florid chill bump covered arms. Byakuya ran his tactile members through Ichigo's hair, caressing it and playing with it, still placing kisses up and down Ichigo's cheeks and back to his wanton lips.

Byakuya felt the sensation of wayward tears gracing his face, making him pull back slightly. Softly, he asked, "Ichigo, what's wrong?"

Sniffling slightly, Ichigo explained, "Nothing..I'm.. I'm just really happy. I'm overwhelmed with feelings." He cupped Byakuya's face, returning the soft innocent cheek kisses.

Byakuya blushed even more than he already was. Ichigo's declaration filled him with a need. An unyielding need to give this man every ounce of his affection. He wanted to tell Ichigo that those sentiments were shared whole heartedly, even if he didn't express them verbally. More potently, he pressed his lips into Ichigo's, purposefully releasing a large wave of his pressure. Ichigo moaned, grabbing for the man more rapidly, intertwining their limbs as if they couldn't get close enough.

Together, they shared in this elucidation of their pure of heart affection until they drifted off to sleep, still anchored in each others arms.

The last thing Byakuya thought before he was subsumed by slumber was, _'Ichigo, how I wish I could keep you forever.'_

 **xXx**

At the requiem of a song bird and the first flash of sunlight kissing the aphotic sky, Byakuya's eye lids flutters and creaked. His heavy eyelids opened, exposing the iris to the light of dawn and the light of his shame. Truly, he hadn't meant to fall asleep. After himself and the platoon had no luck in locating Nightmare, other than the rotating guard duty, all members were told to retire for the evening. However, since Nightmare had been taken care of the night prior, they had no real reason the platoon couldn't have gone back last night. Well, there was a reason, but one that speared Byakuya in the gut with self-reproach and a deep seeded opprobrium.

How did he let this happen again? How could he do such a thing to his pride, to Kurosaki? Knowing full well that, in the light of day, despite the fact he'd once again have to tell Ichigo he could not reciprocate his love, he still chose to ignore these truths for the pure bliss of being able to comfort and be comforted in the most intimate of ways. It was deplorable, and he couldn't even stand the company of his own thoughts, for he felt so disgusted by him self.

Truly, he was not a capricious nor impulsive man. Those were words that most people would conclude to be antoynoms of the Kuchiki heir. Yet, here he was, so easily abating his own rejection, giving Ichigo duplicitous hope for something he could never allow to be. More so, he was suppose to be honorable and obstinate, able to withstand any cardinal pleasures. Although, how long had it been since he truly desired something or someone? Decades ago, a life time ago, a wife ago. Ichigo was the first genuine desire since his late Hisana. Was this what love did to a man? Change him, act almost as a drug of sorts? Because, since that first evening, all of that grandiose chasteness and self control he prided him self on had became nothing more than an illusion.

He thought back on days passed and wondered how long he had been in love with Ichigo without truly realizing it. Now, in the blinding truth of his amorousness, he saw the veracity behind all of his actions. Ever since Ichigo swopped in and changed his life, stopped him from losing him self completely, Byakuay had watched him carefully. He watched out for him, knowing he didn't need it. He watched him grow as a man, not sure why it caused him such raptor. What he thought to be reverence was really the blossoming of love that he tried to deny. When he cut down Tsukishima, despite the fawned memories he had for him, what he told him was all telling. He would destroy any enemy of Kurosaki Ichigo. When he went to Hueco Mundo, when he helped him regain his powers, when he thought only of speaking to Ichigo in his dying moments, it had all been so ambiguous, but so telling to his hearts true pathos. He had been loving Ichigo from a far for so long, even going as far to travel to the living world and watch after him from time to time when he lost his powers. How could he have not seen this? Did he just not want to see this? No, because this ship was made to sink.

Ichigo deserved so much more than the half-baked affection of a man whom can't seem to make up his mind. Even though he'd already made up his mind from the get go, he still chose to go against it, knowing he wouldn't ever give Ichigo what he truly wanted. In the light of his selfishness, he felt like such a heartless monster. He just couldn't abandoned his oath to him self and his grandfather by letting love cloud his judgment. He couldn't be destroyed in the way he was at the lose of his wife. He refused it.

Luckily, the aurora was just now breaking, meaning the platoons were still probably all sleeping. How uncharacteristically juvenile and injudicious he had been. What if the platoon members had found them in this compromising position? What kind of example would that portray? He was suppose to be their dexterous and seasoned leader, not some love stricken buffoon who blissfully gallivanted while their were much more important duties to adhere too. More so, this only congealed what he already knew to be true: matters of the heart would be nothing but a distraction. Continuing on like this, his love would infect him like the plague, taking away precious attention and time that belong to the Gotei and the Gotei only.

This boy had completely flipped the preverbal table that was Byakuya's life. He had overtaken him with this malignant love and changed his view, there was no denying that. Still, it conflicted the man with feelings of an identity crisis. Everything he stood for was slipping away, and he didn't even know if he wanted to stop it, but he would. He'd muzzle these feelings, walk away from them for once and for all.

Ichigo was still perched in Byakuya's arms shifting and tossing slightly. The noble could feel his eye lashes flutter against his neck as a slight yawn formed in his vocal chords and he wrapped his arms around Byakuya tighter.

Byakuya fell in love even more.

He felt a soft kiss besiege his chin right below his ear, met by a heady whisper. "Good morning, Bya." The smirk he felt on his neck wrecked him. Mornings waking up with Ichigo, the picturesque morning sky only interfering with his beauty, he wanted this to the depths of his essence; his soul weeped for this.

Rather abruptly, before his body and mind were hooked into the hypnosis that was Ichigo's soft contingence, Byakuya moved from his spot, leaving Ichigo, still drowsy and confused, on the grassy plain.

Though, even in his sleepiness, he managed to jump up quickly, stretch, and yawn before he said rather aloofly, '"Ya' especially grumpy in the mornin'. What'cha not a morning person?" He smirked, his words slurring as his brain and voice woke up. When Byakuya said nothing, Ichigo walked closer and teased, "It's normal for old guys to get pissy in the mornings."

"Kurosaki," Byakuya said sternly, stoping Ichigo in his tracts. "Do not speak to me as if you're my paramour. In fact, unless it's as colleagues, do not speak to me at all."

Ichigo's blithe smile morphed into a mystified frown. His voice wasn't angry or accusatory, merely confused. "Byakuya, I don't understand," he shook his head slightly, netting his brows. "What about last night?"

Swallowing down an agglomeration of pain, sorrow, and nervousness that had been swelling in his throat, Byakuya put on his best face. He threw the man the same cold glare of scorn and superiority that he did the first day they met, a glare that caused Ichigo to scowl and redden. More than scowl, he wore a broken heart in his eyes, filling Byakuya with the deepest rue he thought imaginable.

Just as sternly, Byakuya responded, "That was comfort. You needed to be comforted and I felt compelled to comfort you. I was weak and made a mistake; I merely used you as a means to make my self feel better, took advantage of your emotions. So such mistakes don't continue to occur, I want you to keep your distance from me from now own."

Through gritted teeth, Ichigo muttered, "Bull shit, fucking bull shit." He shook his head in disbelief, and much louder this time, boomed, "Bull shit. I call bull shit, and you know it. You didn't take advantage of me, you comforted me because you care for me, because you love me to-."

"Don't make such assumptions about the state of my emotions," Byakuya interrupted, his voice was calm yet obviously indignant as his baritone boomed over Ichigo's diatribe. "I've said it once and I'll say it again, I could never love someone like you. Do not mistake respect for love, you foolish boy.

Ichigo wasn't deterred, he shook his head once more in disbelief. "You're being ridiculous, Byakuya," he implored, now walking towards the man. "What's so wrong with how we feel?"

Ichigo was walking towards the noble, reaching out to touch his arm. Just the mere touch of Ichigo could make all of his resolve evaporate, freeze him in a twilight zone where Ichiog's fingers and lips and love are all that mattered. Fearing that Ichigo's touch would lasso his heart into submission, he took the only course of action that he could think of.

Ichigo's movements were cut short by the feeling of Senbonzakura's steel pressed underneath his chin. "Oh, ya' gotta' be fucking kidding me, Byakuya. Really?" he scowled indignantly.

"If you dare try to desecrate my body with those hands, I'll have you imprisoned, or I shall cut you down my self," Byakuya threatened.

Huffing and scowling, Ichigo took a moment to regard the nobel. His finger's were shaking minutely and his breath's were choppy and short. Though his face held the same look of distain and his voice was authoritative, something deeper was shinning through. Ichigo could hear his voice crack slightly, bursting from stifling tears in his throat before they could dampen his eyes. Though it was a voice filled with bravado, it was all bark no bite; there was no real confidence behind his words. More so, there was a deep melancholy.

The weight of his emotions was baring on him as he spoke. "More so, if you claim to love me so deeply, then why?" he asked, a slight ting of desperation filling his voice. "Why would you try to dismantle the values I've built my foundation on? Why would you want to make me question my self?" Byakuya actually sounded heated, as if he truly wanted to know. Unable to cope with his own feelings, he wanted to take it all out on Ichigo, brand him as the serpent who tainted his garden of virtue and purity. More demurely, yet honestly, he withdrew his sword and whispered, "You've caused me great paint, Kurosaki Ichigo. If you love me, please, I implore you, stay away."

Taking a step backwards, Ichigo's impassioned snarl turned into a pensive and resigned expression. For a brief moment, the words of his love whirled around in his head, filling him with a moxie of different emotions. Still, at the forefront of all these emotions, his want to protect Byakuya stood firmly. He didn't want to cause him pain. He merely wanted him to be honest with him self, to be his true self. Still, it was apparent that the man wasn't ready, that this was causing him confusion that he just couldn't compute. Perhaps Ichigo had been selfish.

With an austere face and an constrained voice, Ichigo conceded, "Fine. I'll stay away from you if that's what you want, but," he gritted his teeth and scowled slightly. "That mean's you stay away too. You were the one who kissed me. If you never had any intentions on being with me, then you should have never touched me like that. You can't just keep one foot in and one foot out, coming and going as you please or when ever your resolve slips. It's fucked up," he gave an airy huff, narrowing his brows at the man. "And I honestly don't know if I'd be strong enough to tell you no."

With that, he walked passed Byakuya - who was clutching his fist tightly and holding his breath - and back up the path. Before he walked off completely, he turned his head over his shoulder and said, "Oh, and don't point your sword at me again without the intentions of using it. You're better than empty threats, Byakuya.

The Captain finally exhaled and took another deep breath, his lungs aching as he took in the air. Where he hoped their would be desolation, his soul swelled with an agonizing bereavement.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey guys, PLEASE READ THIS FIRST, because I really want your opinion on something. So I'm about 95% sure that this will be my last official chapter.(I know that sounds weird, but read ahead and you'll understand) However, I'm debating this. Originally, this was not how I wanted the story to end. In fact, I had a completely different ending in mind. I didn't realize that I wanted to cut the story off right here until I was almost done with this chapter. You see, the ending as it is right now is actually pretty bittersweet if not boarding on completely sad, but as I wrote it and I thought about the following chapters, all of the other endings just seemed really cheap. Perhaps happier, but still just not very good. I realized that the reason I felt this way was because the story was already finished and much else would just mess it up. I know fans hate sad endings, however, life is sad and it doesn't always have closure, and I liked this ending because it sort of explores the beauty within that pain. Still, I do care about my reader, so If people are really dissatisfied with this ending, I'll think seriously about changing it. Though, one really important thing I want to note is that, if I do keep this ending, I WILL write an epilogue that may not be rot your teeth out sweet or happily ever after, but it will end the story on a much happier note. Tell me what you think.**

 **Good vibes ~ Ashes.**

 **Shout out to** **Castiel4life!** **I've actually had this chapter done for a while, just unedited. It was your kind and supportive comments that made me get my lazy butt into gear. I'm glad you enjoyed my bad guys and the trip I've created for these two. I love ByaIchi, and since there aren't that many stories for them, I feel obligated to keep up their love. lol. I know this ending will probably make you sad. Wah! I'm horrible. I really want to know what you think though!**

 **Redamancy**

 **Redamancy: (n) The act of loving someone who loves you in return**

 **xXx**

" **I knew you were a truth I would rather lose than to never laid beside at all."**

 **\- Death Cab For Cutie.**

Rukia sashayed around her room, twirling in front of a full length mirror in captivation at the beautiful dress Orihime had gotten her for her birthday. She found herself hoping Renji would like it, since it was so unusual for her to be dressed so elegantly - it was a deep mauve floor length evening gown layered with black lace.

As a knock sounded at her door, the girl turned quickly to see who it was. Upon opening the door, her brother stood in his normal regal fashion, though his face appeared slightly taken aback as his ash orbs transversed the girl's attire.

Seeing the gesture, Rukia blushed slightly, wondering if her brother was displeased. "Nii-sama," she said, smiling demurely, "this was from Orihime-san. I won't have may opportunities to wear it, so I figured my birthday party tonight would be my best chance."

Byakuya's features softened as he complimented, "You look stunning, Rukia. You'll surely captivate everyones attention."

This only deepened her crimson hued cheeks, but she smiled brightly at her brother. "Well, to have a party in such an elegant place as the Kuchiki manor, I had to go all out." The girl bowed shallowly. "Thank you again, Nii-sama. When Renji told me he asked permission to use one of the banquet rooms to throw me a birthday party, I must say, I was surprised you allowed it. I know how you feel about a lot of people being in the mansion."

For a transitory moment, Byakuya glared pensively. He supposed he had became softer in his affection these days, but he'd always allowed his gentler side more fluidity around his sister. "It was a gesture of little significance," he responded honestly, "and it brought you happiness. I saw no reason to reject such a thing."

From a fold within his Haori, Byakuay pulled out a tiny black box wrapped with a sheer ribbon, looking as dainty and beautiful as Rukia. "This is for you," he handed the girl the box. "Happy birthday, Rukia."

Her tiny features lit up like an array of fireflies pulled at every nook and crevasse of her ivory skin. "Thank you, brother," she exclaimed, opening the box as delicately as her excited hands would allow for. Upon opening the box, she saw two antique handcrafted hair pens, agleam with a beautiful argent silver. At the end were two hexagons engraved with the Kuchiki clan symbol, bold red lines stood brilliantly against the metal. Rukia looked at the ornamented hair pieces in aw.

"They belonged to my mother and they illustrate something so striking yet something so proud, much like yourself, Rukia. It brings me joy to pass these along to you." Byakuya's voice was flat and smooth like the surface of a rock, though Rukia could hear the sentiments behind every baritone lexeme.

Her face gaped slightly as her sensitive finger pads brushed over the heirlooms, enjoying the feel of cold sterling beneath the layer of skin. With eyes still locked on the gift, barely above a murmur, she asked, "But I thought these were to go to your next wife. Their family heirlooms, much like your hair pieces. Will the elders not get mad?"

Softly, he replied, "After seeing your sister wear them, I can't imagine giving them to someone I do not cherish deeply. Besides, I've given many sacrifices in my time as the head of our house hold; I believe the elders can yield to a couple of hair pins."

This made Rukia look up sharply, quick enough to catch the fugacious glint of pain that rose and fell over those coal orbs as swiftly as the tide. "Why do you say that, brother? Do you not suspect you'll love the next person you're to wed? I know you care about Hisana-sama deeply, but surely theres room in your heart to love another one day. Even humans, when a spouse dies, after time, they eventually remarry and love again. Isn't that only natural?" At Byakuya's face looking on with a mixture of apprehensiveness and bemusement, she added meekly, "I'm sorry for speaking so openly. I just worry, Nii-sama."

It was unusual for Rukia to speak so freely to him, she was often to conscious about being formal and treating him with respect that she bit her tongue. Though, it didn't cause him the malice she believed it would. In fact, he sometimes wished she felt like she could speak to him in the way she spoke to Ichigo and Renji, to be herself without fear of being chastised. He didn't want her to feel as if their whole relationship was one of which she had to constantly walk on egg shells. "It's not so much as I'm incapable of feeling such a way again, but more so, the path I've chosen strays away from most matters of the heart. Therefore, my next spouse will be for the purpose of producing an heir solely. Don't feel concern for me, this is the way I have chosen to live my life and I am content with it."

Rukia bit her lip and netted her eyebrows in contemplation, trying to decide rather to say the words that sat so eagerly on the tip of her tongue for the past two months. After a moment, she collected her resolve and placed the lid back on the box. Bowing, she held the box out at arms length in her brothers direction. "I'm sorry, Nii-sama, I can not accept this."

"Rukia.." he emoted, confused by the gesture. "Why is that?"

"Because," Rukia stammered, head still bowed. "I really think these belong to someone else. I think you should give them to Ichigo. I know he cannot wear them, but it's still a sign of your affection towards him."

The usually stoic edifice of a man blanched, his features smeared with a deep shock. Though, even while embroiled within the raw truth of the girls words, Byakuya wasn't a man to lose his wits for long. After a moment of painfully dumbfounding silence, Byakuya, still not moving to reclaim the box, questioned, "You know about what transpired between Captain Kurosaki-san and I?"

Finally, Rukia lifted her head and nodded with a simper. "To a certain degree, yes. I know that you two care about each other deeply, more than in a platonic way. I know he touched your heart in a way no one other than Hisana-sama has."

Without hesitation, Byakuya atoned, "Rukia, I am truly apologetic for being so heedless with your feelings, I-"

"Brother," Rukia cut the man off- something she never did - still in a congenial manner yet with a certain chagrin backing her words. "Please, don't apologize for trite things. I won't lie, when I found out I was upset, but it was more so because neither of you told me. True, I had deep feelings for Ichigo, but once I came to peace with the fact that were only meant to be friends, I was able to be much happier in the dynamics of our friendship.. I even," she stammered slightly, not feeling as if this was the right time to bring up that she'd allowed Renji to take her on a few official dates as of recently. "I even was able to move on in my own way." Sighing deeply, she continued, "Though, I realized that when neither of you came clean about your relationship, that something must have happened to make it so there was no relationship. I knew something was different when you came back from that mission two months ago. Ichigo never said anything, no matter how much I pestered him to tell me what was on his mind. You know him," she gave a pitiful chuckle, "always the suffer in silence type, a lot like yourself. With you also, I could tell this has been weighting heavily on your shoulders, brother. I know it may not be my place one way or the other, but I wish you would go to him and give him these heirlooms, tell him how dear he is to you. I love you both too much to see you both suffering for nothing."

Both stood in the dimly lit archway, neither exchanging anything but loaded glances. Finally, Rukia spoke again, this time her voice was heavier. "More so, I truly loved Ichigo and, at the time, I felt like I would do anything for that affection to be reciprocated. Brother..I.." she hesitated, gathering her nerve. "I think it's selfish to turn away such a gift. The world has blessed you with love twice and yet you turn it away so hastily. Most would die for the chance to feel something so rare, especially after they had already lost it once."

A moxie of emotions froth from the man's chest, not one surfacing on his sharp unmovable features. He merely looked down at his sister, her features highlighted by the coalesced hues of apricots and corals given off by the eventide sun disappearing beneath the horizon. In that moment, he felt no need to lie, yet like always, even his truths were delivered in such a detached manner. "Yes, some would die for that chance, but that's the issue I find myself in. A part of me did die with your sisters passing, at least it had seemed as such. For a while, my own pain left me unable to focus properly on my position and I became a man I was not proud of. When I made the promise to never again forsake the rules of Soul Society, it was not only for my predecessors, but for myself also. There is no love without pain, Rukia, and pain will only distract me from the path I have chosen."

Rukia simpered and approached her brother slowly, as if all that honesty and softness would dissipate with any sudden movements. Though his voice seemed emotionless, it was still such an extraordinary occurrence for him to share his inner feelings with her. She grabbed his hand and placed the box in between them, intertwining her lithe tiny fingers over his. Tenderly, she said, "Brother, I've lost many people too, but I wouldn't trade a moment with them despite the pain their losses brought me. Everyone dies, its only natural. To say that should keep us from enjoying our lives and the people we love to the fullest is senseless. It will only leave you with regret at the end, regret that you didn't count every blessing the world had bestowed upon you and that you didn't take advantage of them. Ichigo will die one day, with you or without you by his side, and it will hurt all of his friends and family, but does that mean we should distance ourselves from him to prevent that pain? No. That would only leave us filled with rue that we didn't use that time to it's fullest."

"I understand the point you're making, Rukia," Byakuya said sternly, "But understand this: We each make our own paths in this world. My path is the one in which I'm fully dedicated to the protection of the Soul king. One way or another, affection will only weaken and distract from that resolve, and that is simply not something I'm willing to compromise."

She sighed slightly and nodded, resigning to her brothers words. Removing her hands, she left the box in his and said her last piece. "I'll leave it be, Nii-sama. Just, please think about my words. I would hate to think you're giving up on the man you love simply out of fear of a broken heart. That is no way to live."

The man nodded in suit, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her. Still, he took the box. "Very well," he assured. For a moment, he hesitated, stumbling over his own words, and though he tried to hide it, Rukia could see how abashed the question made him. "How is he doing, Kurosaki-san, I mean?"

Rukia smiled. "He's Ichigo, he'll always be okay, but I can tell he's hurt deeply. You know him, he wears everything in his eyes." Byakuya simply nodded. In the few times he had seen Ichigo around since they returned from their mission, Ichigo had seemed quite normal. Either he was scowling in his half hearted manner, blithely rough housing with Renji and Ikkaku, or having one of his aloof conversation before the captain commander would start their meetings. Still, on the infrequent occasions their eyes would meet, he saw it, that pain Rukia talked of. Each time was like pouring salt on a wound, each time he could feel his own heart breaking again.

Filling the silence, Rukia suggested, "You could ask him yourself, Nii-sama. He'll be here this evening."

Byakuya's eye brow twitched involuntarily as his heart race quickened. "I mustn't, that would be selfish of me and only complicate things further," he denounced the idea promptly.

Rukia shook her head in dissent. "I think he'd be happy to know you still cared. Surely even your friendship would mean a lot to him."

"There isn't room for a friendship between the two of us. I made sure of that with my thoughtlessness," the man self deprecated, something Rukia rarely was a witness too. "Things are much to complicated for us."

Something about the statement made Rukia giggle. At her brother's confused eyes, she explained, "Excuse my outburst, I was just thinking how differently our affections towards Ichigo must be. Renji was right, perhaps I did always play up how much I loved him, as if I thought, because of our connection what we shared must be considered romantic love. Now I think I was wrong. If I was in love with Ichigo in the way you are, I think it would have hurt me too deeply to be just his friend, at least until I was able to get past it."

Byakuya said nothing, words weren't needed nor could he find any. If anything, he was just relived his sister didn't share in his pain over this man, that she had escaped such heartache. Finally, Rukia asked, "Brother, I know you don't want to see Ichigo, but more than anything, I would love if you played for me tonight."

"Rukia..I.."

"Just one song. Your playing is so beautiful, Nii-sama."

To this, Byakuya fretted his brow and huffed. With a nod, he said, "I'll consider it."

 **xXx**

This sumptuous accommodation was identical to the one in which the blossoms of Ichigo's and Byakuya's short lived dalliance began. Down to the plush lounging area's, the vault ceilings, and the beryl hued curtains woven of sendal, everything was identical. Like pulses of left over energy, Ichigo could almost see his exposed body holding a paralyzed Byakuya, his unusually vulnerable features as attention grasping as the sakura trees that orbited the borders of the estate. Before that night, he had never really realized how beautiful Byakuya was, how creamy and sweet his skin was against his own- despite being marred by battled wounds, trailing a story of the man's courageousness. Before that night, he never wanted to know, not really. Now. Now he would give anything to explore every cranny of the man's dulcet alabaster skin, run his parched lips over the scar tissue and the swollen tendons. Byakuya's and his story had barely began before it's summation, and since then, Ichigo was starving. He was famished for Byakuya's touch, only it was a starvation that he couldn't die from, but could merely accept as a constant nagging at his stomach lining.

He'd never felt such a fire in his life, such a daunting attraction that pulled on his soul, called out for it. Even while he kept busy with work and his friends, Byakuya's presence was never far behind. Somehow, someway, he'd always pop back up, and Ichigo would yearn for things that could've been, that should've been, if not for Byakuya's stubbornness.

He wasn't naive. It wasn't as if he believed such feelings only came around once. One day, he could find someone who made him feel that same inextinguishable flame. Still, he knew himself, and Ichigo was not one who's heart was affected by another's easily. It had taken him eighteen years to even truly find anyone attractive. He had never even had a silly childhood crush because, for whatever reason, no one could grasp his attention in that way. Such a chemistry and matching of souls was already a rarity as it was, mixed with Ichigo's aloofness towards matters of the heart, who knew if he would ever find someone that could fit him so well.

More so, though these affections were new, he had known Byakuya for quite a while now. It was their short time together that put those previous years in perspective, that made him truly understand who Byakuya was, and more than anything, he learned he loved the person Byakuya was. A soul such as Byakuya's in his life was what he wanted, for his presence would only enhance him and build him up. Their partnership would be an anchor, an unalloyed pair of opposing forces that pulled towards each other. Perhaps their were other people he could feel this way for, but as of the moment, he didn't care about that; none of them were Byakuya.

Over the two months, Ichigo had came to this conclusion while trying to figure out his own feelings and why they seemed to be as tenacious as his own iron will. For if there was a cure to these feelings, he would have found it, because he had tried just about everything to keep his mind away from the raven haired man, and had only found sleepless nights and constant headaches.

Being back in the mansion again, well, it felt like the walls were projection screens, playing for his viewing pleasure only exactly where he went wrong. He was a voyeur to his own pain. Still, even after all of his thoughts seemed to be held hostage by what happened, even if the memories left him feeling such a desolate sadness, he was sure he'd not change a thing. If he could do it all over again, he'd let Byakuya break his heart every time. Try as he might, he could never regret anything about that man or their few moments together. For they were some of the most authentic moments of his life, and despite any pain they caused, he was just glade they occurred at all, that he got to know what this felt like. After all, when he first arrived to the Soul Society, he felt as if all of his possibilities and every last experience or condition that made him truly human had been ripped asunder, yet here he was, doing the most human thing a person could do: yearning for another.

The evening was young and a multitude of reapers and humans alike were gallivanting around, plenty of food and sake had been prepared and presented, all at Byakuya's expense, of course. All of Ichigo's family and friends had attended, because of that, even with his melancholic disposition, Ichigo couldn't help but to be happy. Still, even with the visit, he couldn't completely push that dolor away, for being in the mansion, so close to where they made love, it made it all that much more real. He was standing in the epicenter of his pain, from this place it was born; how could he forget completely? That only made him feel like a shit person, being caught up in his feelings while his loved ones, whom he had seen so infrequently, were standing here so eager and buoyant. So he pushed it out, masqueraded as if he wasn't trapped in the confines of his own memory, constantly replaying the events in his head. In fact, he was probably overselling it. His jaw hurt from smiling yet his normal expression was aloof or a scowl of some sort. Overall, the pretending was mentally exasperating.

Luckily he found a short break in the form of some music coming from a record player. Most of his friends and family had went over to dance amongst the wide open floor space while Ichigo and his new lieutenant, Akria, stood refilling their drinks. Akira was a strapping man whom looked biologically in his mid twenties. He wore a main of long chestnut hair- which he always wore in a traditional samurai style pony tail - and had deep emerald eyes. Personality wise, he was rather laid back and the silly type, yet still was equally as dedicated. He had a good sense of humor and a level head, others may describe him as personable yet mellow. He countered Ichigo well and he quickly found a friend in him. Especially since Akria had been assigned to Ichigo specifically because of his mastery in Kido, in the hopes that Akria would mentor him as well. Ichigo, though skeptical about having to learn kido at first, realized that he wanted all resources available to him to be the best captain he could aspire to.

More importantly, he didn't feel a need to be all smiles around Akria. For within their dynamics, Ichigo could be as grumpy or as openly ill as he needed and it just rolled off the man's back. Because of their partnership and their constant interaction, Ichigo didn't bother putting up facades with this man, and because they weren't particularly close yet, he didn't feel as if he was letting him down. There was a certain freedom within interacting with someone you hardly knew, it was like you could be yourself and not feel guilty or judged because their opinion just didn't matter as much. Sure, he didn't know about Byakuya, but that was the best thing about Akira, he didn't ask nor did he judge. He just allowed Ichigo to be his moody self and asked no questions. It was that reason their partnership worked so well, and even more so, that Ichigo had found themselves to be true friends.

Leaning against the back of a pool table, Ichigo's stared off aloofly, arms crossed in a cursory manner.

Walking up and extending a cup, Akria too leaned against the table. Ichigo gave something between a grunt and a thanks while his second in command, tongue in cheek, gave an impressed glare around the room. "This place is huge. With a place this big, the owner must be hiding a lot of skeletons," Akria speculated impishly, erecting his eye brow at the man before tending to his drink. Ichigo was sipping at some vodka concoction while he addressed the man with a quick sideways glance.

"Trust me, you'd never find them."

"Of course not, too many damn closets," he smirked. "So, this place belongs to Lieutenant Kuchiki-san brother, Captain Kuchiki-san?"

Ichigo just gave an impassive nod of the head.

"Hm, makes sense. You know what they say, big house, big ego."

"No one says that," Ichigo scowled, "besides, his ego's way bigger than this house." He consumed the last of his drink, frowning slightly at the empty cup.

"Is that why he didn't come to his sister's birthday party that's taking place in _his_ mansion? To mighty to mingle with us mere commoners?" Akira asked caustically.

"How would I know? I'm not his damn keeper." Ichigo's words were glazed with a thick annoyance. This was the last thing he wanted to be talking about. Byakuya was never one for large gatherings, but Ichigo was pretty sure it wasn't the crowd that was deterring him. Byakuya was avoiding him, making it pretty clear there was no room in his life for Ichigo and his petty emotions.

"Your more tense than usual, Captain," Akria noted, a hint of concern sounding through his playful voice.

Spinning his empty cup in his hand, Ichigo scowled slightly. "I would just rather not talk about Byakuya Kuchiki," he said flatly.

Pursing his lips, Akria nodded. "Fair enough. So," he quickly jumped onto another topic, "you're picking up your kido rather well. I gotta say, I'm Impressed."

"Of course, I am. All I needed was a little instruction for all of this latent skill to come out. I'll be a kido master in no time," Ichgo boasted with a smirk.

"Geez, you give a guy one compliment and his head get's as big as this room." Gesturing for Ichigo to follow him over to where the pool sticks were, he continued, "You got a while to go before you're being recruited by the kido corps."

"Maybe if I had a better teacher," Ichigo taunted, picking up a pool stick.

"Ha. No one else would want you, so you better be grateful." Perking an eyebrow, he said, "Need I remind you of all the times you almost blew me up with your unbalanced kido?"

Racking up the balls in his usual nonchalant temperament, he teased, "Don't complain, now you're better at sidestepping attacks. I guess I can give you some of the credit, you have been a pretty good teacher."

"I'm still waiting on you to teach me something," Akira hid his smirk as he took a sip of his drink.

"Shut up! I'll teach ya' how to get your ass beat at eight ball."

After a roll of the eyes and a quick trip to refill their drinks, Ichigo and Akria played with casual chit chat until Ichigo sunk in the eight ball, wining the game.

"You're actually pretty good at this. I thought you were just being smug perusal."

Siting down his pool stick, Ichgio gave the tiniest of smirks, almost nostalgically so. "Yeah, I actually first played with Byakuya." Rubbing his head thoughtfully, he recalled, "He actually kicked my ass. I ended up playing with Renji and Ikkaku quite a few times after that, and I got a lot better."

"I sorta thought these things were for show," Akira poised with a chuckle, "or for events like these. I didn't think Captain stoic to have many hobbies."

With a gulp of his drink and roll of the shoulder, Ichigo replied, "Yeah, he's a pretty dynamic guy. He'll surprise you, that's for sure."

"He sure does," he smiled. "That man's frighteningly blanked face. I guess even callous narcissist can have interest too."

Baring his teeth, Ichigo snapped, "You don't know anything about the guy, so watch your mouth!"

Akira actually recoiled in befuddlement, taken aback by the defensiveness. Ichigo just kept his scowl, a little too tipsy to care how his outburst might've looked. "That's funny," Akria finally recovered, his mellow smile now returned. "Coming from a guy who said he didn't even want to talk about him. You are the one who brought him up, ya know?"

That's right, Ichigo did say that. Still, despite his words, bringing up Byakuya from time to time had become an unavoidable bad habit. For the man was never to far from his train of thought, and with him constantly jumping on for a ride, it wasn't to odd that Ichigo brought him up. When you have feelings for someone, it's common to habitually bring them into conversations because their names are constantly on the tip of your tongue. Even if it's unintentional, when you care deeply for someone, you're always wondering how their doing, wishing someone else might bring them up, wanting to somehow find a way to incorporate them into conversations. It wasn't something he liked and for the most part, it wasn't something he even noticed, but still, he just couldn't detach. He couldn't wipe his cognizance of the virus that was Byakuya Kuchiki.

"You listen to me too damn much," Ichigo grimaced, taking a swig of his drink.

"Of course. If I didn't, that would make me a bad lieutenant, and even worse, it make me a rude date."

Ichigo choked on his drink slightly at the word, coughing up his vodka tonic. "What-why-wha- Why would you call it that?!" Ichigo exasperated.

The incredulous reaction made Akria chuckle madly. "You're so childish sometimes, Captain. A date is anything where two people go out together, it doesn't have'ta imply anything romantic."

"We're not here together! We just both happen to be here," Ichgio bellowed defensively.

"But you invited me," Akria smirked.

"Well I don't like owing things to people," Ichigo reasoned. "I figured drinks and food is enough to make up for the training."

"You say that like you payed for any of this," Akria muttered as Ichigo devoured the last of his drink.

Smirking mischievously, Akria nabbed Ichigo by the elbow and started dragging him away from the table.

"Who do ya' think you're dragging like that?" Ichigo blurted.

"If you want to pay up on your debt, come dance with me."

Ichigo stopped promptly and made an X symbol with his hands. "No way. I don't dance."

Hand on hip, tongue in cheek, Akira speculated, "So you're saying you don't know how?"

"I know how!" Ichigo barked, "I just don't like being that up close with people." The only person who brought out a more touchy feely side of Ichigo was Byakuya, and even then, that was only in private.

"You fight sweaty opponents in up close battles frequently and you're worried about a personal bubble?" He pulled on Ichigo's arm again, gripping it tighter. "Come on, I'm going to teach you how to dance. You need to loosen up as part of your kido training."

"That's what the alcohols for!" Ichigo howled, much to his avail. He was still dragged amongst the flailing bodies, all grooving to some upbeat jazz. "What decade is this music even from? Seriously, who chose this anyway?" Ichigo groused.

"Less whining, more dancing," urged Akria, swaying to the music.

"You'd think you're the captain," Ichigo grimaced through gritted teeth. With a scowl, he stood their awkwardly, his movements robotic if not non existence.

"So you really don't know how?" Akira smirked.

"Well I haven't exactly had to go to a ball recently," Ichigo deadpanned.

"It's about feeling the music, you can't be self conscious about it or it won't happen. You're not suppose to think to much about dancing," Akira proclaimed, illustrating how it was done by moving his hips slightly and swaying to the music. "Look, it's easy." Akria pointed over his shoulder, "It looks like Lieutenant Madarame-san has it down."

Giving something between a scoff and a chuckle, Ichigo mocked, "Yeah, he really does look like he doesn't care about what _anyone_ thinks about him. Poor Yumichika"

Akria rolled his eyes. "At least he's doing something." Akria started dancing once more, doing exaggerated and silly dance moves that made Ichigo laugh. Even a habitually aloof Ichigo was victim to bouts of laughter in Akira's presence, since the man was the class clown type. Silly and carefree, the opposite of how Ichigo could be most of the time.

To his shock, Akira anchored his hands on Ichigo's hips, chiding, "You have to move your hips, Captain! Don't you use them in battle?"

"I don't know! I just fight, and my hips do what they do. And where do you get off grabbing a guys hips all abruptly like that?" Ichigo netted his brow, scowling deep.

Akira just bursted into laughter, obviously not taking the man's anger all too seriously. "Pfhssss, I'm just trying to help you." He griped tighter. "Here, like this," he explained, swaying Ichigo's hips for him. "You see, kido comes from a more natural part of you, a visceral place. It's about reaching deep within to calm and redirect that internal essence. Much like meditation and _dancing_ , it involves less thinking and more instinct."

Resigning to the man's contact, Ichigo perked an eyebrow. "So all that 'dancing helps with kido' stuff wasn't bullshit?"

"When do I ever bull shit?"

"When do I ever scowl?" Ichigo teased.

"Point taken. You may be right though," Akria goaded, "Your dancing is pretty helpless. If you could get this down, you really _could_ be a kido master, but you have two left feet."

Taking the bait, Ichigo declared, "Hey! Just you watch, I'll be dancing circles around you before this night ends, and then we'll see who's the kido master. I might need a few more drinks, but it'll happen."

Akria smirked inwardly at how easy it was to manipulate his captain, all it took was some ego prodding. None the less, the two danced. There were no circles, there was barely any grace, but Ichigo quickly relaxed some. Soon his scowl lighten a little and he began to feel the music, not thinking about his movements. Akria even spun him a couple of times, making him wobbly and light headed in his blitzed state. Akria would laugh at his off balanced movements, Ichigo would complain, it was a pretty good time. For a moment, Ichigo even forgot about Byakuya. It was a welcomed and well deserved moment of release.

Standing beside Rukia, violin in hand, Byakuya looked across the sea of mutely lit party goers, all to preoccupied in their merriment. He groused at the thought of the mess they would leave in their wake, but put it aside. For it be more trouble for his servants than him, besides he could tell Rukia was truly enjoying herself. It didn't take long for his eyes to find him. That orange hair and stanch pressure stood out even in a crowd this size. That scowl, that impassive look of annoyance, he still looked so beautiful just like that. Still perfect in Byakuya's eyes. He remembered that Ichigo seemed to smile more when they were around each other, though he doubted Ichigo would bless him with such a comely, heart warming gesture once more. More so, he was sure he wouldn't deserve it.

"I'm really glad you decided to play, Nii-sama!" Rukia exclaimed, her crimson cheeks puffed out in a huge toothy smile.

"It would be wrong to deprive all of your guest my beautiful music," Byakuya deadpanned, making Rukia smirk to which he couldn't help but return slightly.

The man narrowed his eyes back into the crowd, watching Ichigo's gawky movements as he attempted to dance with some unidentified man. He got so caught up in his low key espionage, so overcame by Ichigo's ambrosial nature, by his authentic personage, that he barely cared who this stranger of a dance partner was. Yet when he saw how Ichgio laughed such a genuine and unrestrained laugh in his presence, an envious curiosity filled him.

"Rukia," he asked, eyes blankly ahead, "who is that gentleman with Kurosaki?"

Squinting her glazed eyes and perching her self on her tip toes, Rukia looked through the crowd. "Oh, that's Ichigo's new lieutenant. You must recognize him, right?"

"Ah, you're right." Noticing the man's hands on Ichigo's hips, Byakuya swallowed a diligently bitter sensation of jealousy. In his normal unfazed tonality, he observed, "I see they're close."

Rukia was not fooled by the passive tone. "Their not _that_ close, Nii-sama. No. I'm sure Ichigo only has eyes for one person, a certain raven haired noble." At her brothers disapproving glare, Rukia retracted, "But that's none of my business."

Sighing, he concluded, "Perhaps it's better he look elsewhere. Let's get on with this, then."

"Renji!" Rukia boomed, resulting in him sauntering over rather quickly for his drunk state. "Cut the music, will ya?"

He gave a thumbs up and smiled. "Got ya'."

"Hey, Ichigo," Akria pointed over his shoulder, "Isn't that your best friend, Captain Kuchiki-san?"

Spinning his head over each of his shoulders multiple times while running his fingers through his hair, he urged, "Where? What? How do I look?" He straighten up his gray blazer that sat atop a black v-neck and ran his hands nervously over the dark denim jeans he adorned.

"Captain, I died in the late 1800's. I really don't know too much about modern fashion."

"You're no help at all, you old fart!"

At the music abruptly stopping, Ichigo finally saw Byakuya, yet quickly looked away. His face always burned to look at. It was almost like he'd turn to stone if they made eye contact. Eyes were the window to the soul, and Ichigo didn't want to look into Byakuya's soul only to see all the things he couldn't have, but yearned for so deeply. Those coal orbs set fire to his insides, burnt his organs in ash.

Renji walked back over to Byakuya and Rukia after stopping the music while everyones attention got scattered, addled by the seize in noise. "Wanna boost, shorty?" Renji looked down to Rukia.

"You better not drop me or stab me with your pointy hair," she warned, jumping up on Renji's shoulder as he knelt down. He rolled his eyes while holding her legs in place on his shoulder. Holding her hands like a bullhorn, Rukia bellowed, "Everyone shut up! I want my brother to play a song for my birthday, and you're all going to shut your traps and enjoy it."

Grimacing slightly, Byakuya said caustically, "Eloquently put, Rukia."

Not only did Byakuya come to play for Rukia, but it was equally for Ichigo as well. He remembered the innocent blush and smile that painted Ichigo's face, almost hidden by the fall of night, when he said he'd play for him. Something so small seemed to bring him joy. Even if he could do nothing else for him, Byakuya wanted to do this. He wanted Ichigo to hear his song and hoped the melodies would be the apology he couldn't give verbally.

Byakuya inhaled sharply as he placed his violin and his bow. Gathering himself, he closed his eyes briefly and placed the bow across the strings. When he opened his eyes, he saw Ichigo's honey orbs looking at him deliberately, almost with curiosity. His heart and fingers seemed to become filled with resolve.

Soon the room was encompassed by the mellifluous melodies of Karu no Umi, a beautifully contrived piece by Miyagi Michio, only made more enjoyable by Byakuya's artful and impassioned playing. Everyone was filled with aw, watching on as the somber face only seemed to magnify the emotions brought through at the eerily divine assonance. His playing, it left a mark, imbued emotion that people didn't know they had and made them desire things they hadn't known they wanted. It was haunting, and Ichigo was sure it was the most radiant and transparent he'd ever seen the man. Even without words, even with such intensely still and concentrated features, the euphony that electrified the ambiance said it all.

Ichigo was bewitched. Time seemed to seize, and a force stronger than gravity pulled at his attention, making Byakuya the only thing in the room. The world was a vacuum, only allowing for their brief existence to linger in the timeless and airless void, if only because the world too wanted to hear Byakuya's song. He didn't look away. He wasn't even sure if he blinked, for he felt like he saw Byakuya better in a dimly lit, crowded room with a sea of baggage and drunks standing between them, than he ever did during their time together. He looked so open, so authentic.

This was exactly why he didn't want to look, but he couldn't stop himself. He had held so much malice towards Byakuya for his stubbornness, for being such a coward. Since the Byakuya he believed in knew nothing of the word cowardice. The man was so honest to a fault, virtuous, a man who understood his shortcomings and knew himself through and through. Thats why it was so sad to see the nobleman lock part of himself away, to be so frightened of that part that he kept it in a cage, sealed from the light of day. Knowing this, it was hard to begrudge the man, not when yearning and empathy filled him.

When the music seized, the crowd erupted with applause, the air filling with raving compliments, but to Byakuya and Ichigo, the only perceivable thing was their unbreakable epoch of intentional staring. Neither looked away or faltered as they stood practically worlds apart, burrowing into each other as if trying to communicate an imperative message.

Finally, Byakuya broke the glare, bowing slightly at the crowd before walking away wordlessly.

Akria gave Ichigo an aslant look, whom was just staring off in a zoned out fashion. His eyes were still following Byakuya, even though his presence was no loner palpable. Nudging Ichigo, he said, "I can see why you talk about the guy, he's pretty memorable."

 **xXx**

Another hour passed before the crowd started to dwindle. By this point, Ichigo was nice and toasty. He was nowhere near the pitiful inebriated state he'd been in the last time he spent an evening in the mansion, but none the less, he was feeling pretty blitzed. After a whole evening of attending to his family and friends, he needed a break. He needed a moment to breath and be by himself. When no one was looking, he made his escape, leaving the banquet hall to traipse around the convolution of hallways, not caring if he got lost. More so, he figured Byakuya would have retired to his home office for the evening, seeing as the man was pretty addicted to his work. With that in mind, he didn't worry so much about any awkward hallway run-ins.

After a little while of walking around aimlessly, Ichigo ran into a maid. He asked her where the library was, lying and saying he was a house guest of Byakuya's. She quickly and curtly directed him to two mahogany doors that were adorned with argent handles. He pushed open the doors and stumbled in slightly. Standing in the middled of the room, he first noticed the flicker of a variety of candles giving off a warm tint in the colossal library. Books stretched on for miles across a tower of shelves.

A deep baritone grasped Ichigo's attention. "Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo turned around quickly, gapping and reddening at the slight of Byakuya siting in a chair near the corner of the room, his coal oculus brought to life by the scintillation of a soft blaze. "Byakuya," his mouth dropped pitifully for a moment before he felt a ting of embarrassment or perhaps awkwardness, he couldn't place the emotion. Either way, he turned in an urgent matter, heading for the door. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."

Byakuya frowned at that. "You can stay, if you would like."

Ichigo stopped, finding himself turned back around, because of course he wanted to stay. Still, despite wanting to stay, what would that help? What would he even say? He'd missed the man so deeply and would almost be satisfied with a friendship at this point, but that was the problem. He'd _almost_ be satisfied, but it would never quite be enough, would it? Not to mention this tension that hung between the two was enough to suffocate a normal human. It was humid and yielded physical reactions, such as a churning gut and a fluttering chest. What a vertiginous sensation it was.

"Will I find myself at the sharp end of Senbansakura If I do?" Ichigo asked

"I am apologetic for my heedless behavior. I should have just spoke with you honestly," Byakuya apologized abashedly, taking Ichigo by surprise. Seeing he was truly apologetic, Ichigo couldn't help but feel more sad than angry. It made him ache for the other just a little more.

Luckily, Byakuya gauged the awkwardness in the man's silent glare and filled the emptiness. "How are things within your division, Captain?"

Ichigo rubbed his head gauchely. "Good. Everyone's been going out of the way to make sure I adjust well. I've gotten help from a lot of captains."

"I'm glad everyone is being so congenial with you." Byakuya's mute eyes glided over the man, somehow giving Ichigo a slight comfort.

"Yeah, a little too much if you ask me," Ichigo grimaced. "Shunsui's always on me to drink and Zaraki's constantly looking for a fight. I think they want me more for my drinking ability than my captain abilities."

"That can't be it. I know you haven't always held your captaining abilities in high regards, but nothing can be worst than your drinking abilities." Byakuya found himself teasing the man, feeling a warmness at how easily Ichigo fell into conversation with him despite the thorniness of their situation. Things had always rolled so naturally between them.

"Ya know what they say." Ichigo was aloofly ambling around the room, looking at the collection of books. Turning his head, he teased back, "practice makes perfect. Everyone's been making sure I get plenty of practice at drinking and captaining."

"Drinking and captaining, huh? I suppose you're taking after the captain commander well."

With a smirk, Ichigo warned, "Careful Byakuya, comparing me to Shunsui almost sounds like a compliment."

"In who's book?" Byakuya smirked back.

Changing the subject, now leaned against a bookshelf in a laid back fashion, Ichigo asked, "So what are you doing in here?" His eyes noted that Byakuya held no book. "Hiding?"

With his lithe fingers coiled against his ivory cheek, Byakuya asked, "Is that what you think I do, hide?"

"Parts of you, yeah," Ichgio answered candidly, no judgment nor hesitation in his voice.

Byakuya glared intently, avoiding the statement with a question of his own. "And what of yourself? Are you seeking.." at Ichigo's honey orbs sharpening, he added, "..or are you hiding also?"

"I just needed a break from all of that. I get everyone means well, but I actually like being alone a lot more than I like being the center of attention." Ichigo had always drew people close with his warm aura, yet since the war, he was constantly besieged with praises and people wanting to monopolize all of his free time. Sometimes it was rather daunting and annoying, but he took it as it came.

"Ah, yes, you've became quite the mister popular."

"I don't see why," Ichigo huffed, "as much as I scowl, you'd think it keep people away."

"It's apart of your charisma that draws everyone towards you," Byakuya bluntly stated, his features softening with a slight sadness. Ichigo's eyes softened too, glistening with hurt. "I suppose some are crazy enough to be attracted to such a rude and hot headed temperament," Byakuya jested flatly, obviously speaking of himself.

Ichigo smirked and shrugged his shoulders sarcastically. "I wouldn't know, I have no experience being attracted to hard to handle men."

At that, Byakuya actually chuckled slightly, sharing such a small yet sweet and heart tugging smile with the man. They both glared at each other, fully recognizing the way their hearts gravitated towards one another, filling the moment with a hum of captivation. Each looked at each other, to lost in a moment of earnest affection to feel weird about their continued eye contact.

"Hey Byakuya," Ichigo said, finally breaking the trance, "I wanted to step outside for some air, do you wanna come with?" He nodded his head towards the door. At Byakuya's hesitant eyes, he rolled his, reassuring, "If I go into that damn labyrinth by myself, who knows if I'll ever get out. I need someone to show me the way."

"If you simply need a tour guid, a maid would surely suffice."

"But then who will I trade insults with?" Ichigo asked, smirking slightly.

The words prompted the man to stand and move closer to Ichigo. "You have the strangest sense of entertainment. I suppose I'll indulge you."

"You can pretend you don't enjoy my company all you want, you're still the one who's willingly coming with me," Ichigo said smugly as the two left down the hallway, Ichigo torpidly slinging his hands in his pockets as he followed beside Byakuya.

"Well a man must have patience, Kurosaki Ichigo. Therefor, it does me well to spend time around someone who test it so frequently."

"All I'm hearing is that I get under your skin," Ichigo returned the taunt.

The two walked in a comfortable silence until they found themselves within the confines of Byakuya's personal garden. Under a looming sakura tree they stood, staring out into nightfall sharing a peaceful silence. Though, such a silence made Byakuya uneasy. It made him question why he was standing there and why something, if only their own foolishness, kept bringing them to each other. There could never be just a simple friendship between the two, yet he could never allow for more. So what exactly was he doing? Even with his iron will, why did he always end up standing in front of this man he cared so deeply for?

"I don't think we should be doing this," Byakuya thought out loud, looking through the darkness at Ichigo.

"What's so wrong with two men staring off into a beautiful scenery?" Ichigo jested, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Nothing, if it were two different men. You said you wanted to escape the company of others, yet you asked me to join you. Why?"

Ichigo's glare intensified as he narrowed his brow. With a huff, he turned towards Byakuya so that they were facing each other. "Because, I've missed you," he responded honestly. "Maybe that makes me weak or maybe that's wrong of me, but it's the truth."

An electric current sparked over Byakuya's skin at the sudden feeling of Ichigo's hand cupping his cheek. It was overwhelming, the sensation of Ichigo all of a sudden invading his personal space. Yet the man made no move to do anything else. Such a simple gesture of affection was all he pushed.

"What are you doing, Kurosaki?"

"Some people call this touching, Byakuya."

"And others would call it flirting," Byakuya perked an eyebrow.

"Eh, everything's about perspective, right?"

"The perspective of a drunk man is slightly skewed, wouldn't you think?"

"I'm not that drunk!" Ichigo scowled, still keeping his hand anchored to Byakuya's face. "Besides, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it."

The nobleman took a composing sigh and deepened the skin to skin contact, nuzzling his cheek against Ichigo's calloused hand. He enjoyed the feeling of Ichigo's essence so close to his. "I can always tell," Byakuya responded somberly. "I can feel it in your spiritual pressure. It becomes more volatile than usual."

"Oh.." Ichigo emoted just as somberly. "You seem to have a harder time hiding behind that glacier face when we touch like this, so I'll say it again: I miss you. I know you won't say it back, but you don't have too. It's just, even after you've rejected me, you're still the only one I can bring myself to be that open with. So maybe it's messed up, but I've been holding that in, pretending like I don't, and I just.." The scowl on his face lightened as he searched for the right words, "I can't pretend with you, pretend like it doesn't hurt. I just needed to say it to someone. I don't expect anything, but I figured you owed me that much."

Byakuya bowed his head slightly, hiding the mixture of shame and affection he felt. The raw honesty in Ichigo's eyes was blinding to the sight. How courageous Ichigo was to tempestuously put his feelings out on the table, to give affection and ask for nothing in return. Byakuya was sure Ichigo was twice the man he was, even at such a young age. That commingling of emotions that shot right into Byakuya, they were pounding at the crumbling walls that surrounded his heart, eroded away at his fire proof skin. There was such a yearning, such sadness and angry smoldering within, causing a great burden that was transparent in Ichigo's eyes. It was a burden that Byakuya could sympathize with, for he himself had been weighted down with a mournful longing, unable to express these feelings to anyone. A three word sentiment didn't change anything, but it seemed the be the healing waters for Ichigo's invisible scars. Admitting it out loud, unloading his baggage, it was soothing for the soul.

Now with the weight of both of their pain sitting on top of him, he crumbled. He hoped giving life to the words would somehow ease this encumbrances. "There are no words, Kurosaki Ichigo," he expressed, looking Ichigo directly in the eyes. "To say I miss you would devalue how I truly feel. Such a trite phrase can not begin to explain the feelings I hold towards you. Trust that even though I banished your presence, even though I can not allow you to stand by me, you never truly left me."

Without thought or heed to his own emotions, Ichigo lived only in that moment. Perhaps he had not made peace with his and Byakuya's arrangement, but he accepted that this was something he couldn't change, the way Byakuya denied himself, denied the both of them. Only Byakuya could change that when and if he wanted to. More so, he accepted that, despite the pain it would cause him to intertwine their selves, to share in an intimate, unadulterated gesture of their hearts truest wants, more than likely leaving him with an even more daunting vacant yearning swelling in his chest, he didn't care. This time around, he was no naive child in terms of what he expected to happen. For he accepted wholeheartedly that anything that happened between them would be a moment of weakness on both of their parts and would bare no fruit to signify the flourishing of their relationship.

They were picking each others scabs, giving each other momentary comfort only to inevitably fester their still fresh scares. This was comfort. This was release. This was 'I love you even though love isn't enough'.

Perhaps it was wrong- no - it was definitely wrong. Ichigo would probably regret it later, chastising himself for being so weak to his own desires, but like two cursed addicts, they didn't care in the moment. To one another, they were each others biggest transgression.

Pressing his forehead to Byakuya's, tresses of raven intermingling in between them, he grasped both of the man's cheeks with his rough hands. Byakuya stayed locked, breathing heavily only to add to the humid heat that stifled their oxygen intake. Lips aquiver, Ichigo said, "Well what do you expect? Of course I never left, I'm stubbornly persistent like that."

"Kurosaki.." Byakuya hesitated

"It's okay. I understand what this is."

At the tepid words reverberating against his lips, Byakuya pressed towards, filling the minuet space that taunted him so. It pained him to be such a prisoner to his own desires, but it was unavoidable. Ichigo was his vice and like any vice, the presence of it being so near stimulated that need to uncontrollable amounts. He took his fill, pressing deep into Ichigo's warm and welcoming mouth. It tasted like coming home for a visit after being gone so long.

The only thing that assuaged his guilt was the knowledge that, this time, Ichigo understood fully the circumstances of these moments between them. Ichigo wasn't kissing him with the hopeless desire that it would change or fix their situation, but with the same deep need for relief that Byakuya was searching for, if only for this moment. Ichigo was a willing participant in this masochistic act of theirs, taking on all the pleasure and the pain that would be derived from it. Though he felt nothing but contempt knowing Ichigo's heart was hurting, at least now he was letting Ichigo make his decision with the full knowledge of what that decision meant.

Surely, he didn't want to add to Ichigo's pain. He wanted to be selfless enough to turn Ichigo away ruthlessly again, drive that wedge deeper if only to abbreviate the healing process. He knew this would only make it that more difficult, but it was too late. Like the stupid fools they were, they couldn't muster enough self restraint to rupture the ties that bound them together.

Byakuya grabbed fistfuls of Ichigo's lapel, pulling him in as Ichgio's hands buried themselves in mounds of silky hair. The captain resigned to the pull of Byakuya's needy hands tugging them so tightly together. In a very gawky manner, the two stumbled back, trying not to trip and fall as they blindly took steps backward. Ichigo felt himself thud into the bark of a sakura tree, still managing his franticly intimate touches and smacks of the mouth.

Breaking away for a moment, Byakuya looked Ichigo up and down in an admirable fashion, cascading his hands on the mans clad arms. "You dressed up this evening. You look exquisitely handsome." The man licked his lips slightly, rolling his eyes across the mans physique as if he was undressing him with those coal orbs.

Hungrily, Ichigo pulled him in once more with a slight scowl, holding Byakuya in a position hovering over his lips. "It doesn't matter what I wear, it's not like this stuff is going to be on for much longer."

With that, Byakuya pressed on. His wet tongue ran over Ichigo's lips, like some fallen angle begging for reentrance into the only heaven he'd ever known. Ichigo teased him slightly, nibbling at the man's bottom lip and withholding entry until he deemed fit, only to have the embargo sealing his lips swayed by the breathy kisses feathered down his jawline. The wiggling drenched muscles caressed the most sensitive areas of each others mouths. Fleshy and inflamed skin tingling at the sensation. Byakuya was holding the nape of his head, pushing their lips as closely as possible while the other hand was under Ichigo's shirt. His fingers pressing into the delicate tendons of Ichigo's hip bones, pulling the hips into his. Ichigo let out a deep potent moan into Byakuya's mouth while he wrapped his arms around his neck, one hand pulling at the lose raven strands and the other running across the man's back.

The movements were desperate and starved, yet steady and deep. They weren't frantic with their handling of each other's bodies, and they savored each other with the deliberate purpose of enjoying and exploring every part.

Through kisses, Ichigo caught his breath, sexual tension pushing the words out vaporously. "We can't do this here."

Byakuya practically purred before pushing his lips back in, consuming any complaints the boy had with his own desire. Ichigo melted at such a wanton kiss capturing his, silencing all else with an intrinsic and vehement want. He touched him with such exigency, as if each brush of their bodies could mend the famine withering away at his essence. Byakuya knew that Ichigo's touch shouldn't feel so fundamental, so required, but he tried to not think of things like that in such a moment.

"Of course we can. These are my grounds, and we can do this where ever we please." Byakuya was nimbly removing Ichigo's blazer with just one hand while using the other to cup Ichigo's ass, locking their pelvises tightly.

Ichigo attempted a scowl that was undermined by a lustful bite of his lip and a pair of bed room eyes staring him down. Byakuya found it rather adorable. "Someone could see us."

"Mostly everyone has left and the rest are in a different wing," he reasoned between feasting his teeth into the curve where Ichigo's neck and shoulder collided. The soft bites were alleviated by warm laps of a tongue, sending Ichigo's body aquiver. "It is just you and I, Kuroaski."

Coarse hands ran over Byakuya's nighttime yukata, the silky plum hue contrasting his lambent skin. Now loosely knotted, the garment exposed his chiseled chest, crimson and heady. Ichigo tugged the fabric, letting it fall off his shoulder to bare pure porcelain muscle. His arms were so tough, yet the skin was soft and scar riddled. However, it still glowed beautifully. Ichigo sunk his lips into that skin, drinking in the sweet taste that was genuinely Byakuya's. The last time, he had been a victim to this man's carnality, but now he would give just as much as he would take. "You're saying you want to do me under the stars?" Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle, his lips vibrating against the dip in Byakuya's collar bone that his lips had been tending too. "Who knew you had such a romantic side."

By now, Ichigo's pants had fallen to the his ankles, and he was trying to step out of them, leaning deeper into Byakuya whom had began disrobing his yukata completely. Byakuya lifted Ichigo's shirt above his head before wrapping him up, taking his lips that Ichigo gave graciously. His words were muffled through their meeting tongues. "More than you or anyone else will ever know. My cold demeanor does not always speak my heart's true musings."

Byakuya had lifted Ichigo into his arms and laid them both down in the least awkward manner possible. Situated between Ichigo's thighs, their chest pressed together, he used the tip of his tongue to outline the arch of Ichigo's neck. While running it past his adam's apple and to his chest, Ichigo said, "At least I get to see it more than anyone else."

Byakuya's wet touch seized as he flickered a look up to Ichigo. It was a look he'd never seen before, so filled with a sober sadness, yet a rejuvenating affection. "Yes, at least," was all Byakuya said before he continued on his trail, the whole sensation tingling Ichigo's insides in all the right ways. In that moment, bare and writhing, his wet skin igniting against the breeze and Byakuya's kisses effecting his body on a molecular level, he thought how charmed he felt to be the only one privy to glimpses of the man he kept hidden. So much, he started to wonder if this could ever be enough, just knowing that, in some way, Byakuya was his and only his, that he shared these parts with no one else.

Those wet kisses and mind rattling nibbles trailed down and dipped into Ichigo's belly button. Ichigo squirmed helplessly, interlacing his fingers through the raven tuft splayed across his core. He massaged at Byakuya's scalp heartwarmingly while bucking his hips, pressing his harden length against his lovers body. The warmness radiating from his chest was a mixture of sensual desire and unadulterated affection towards the man.

Taunting Ichigo with his tongue, drawing circles in between his thighs with the moist tip, he looked up briefly. "Kurosaki," his smirk felt against the youth's raw and blushed skin. "I heard your second in command has been teaching you kido. Since I do enjoy helping struggling students, I'll gauge how proficient you are at the most fundamental part of incantations." He bit down harder on the skin, his canines leaving arousing marks on Ichigo's inner thigh. Words lightly muffled, he said, "If you want me to continue, you must keep your spiritual pressure in check." Smugly and chalk full of that Kuchiki sarcasm, Byakuya offered, "Surely a man of your skill will find such a task elementary."

His words equally excited and challenged Ichigo. For he had been keeping it under wraps till this point, but Byakuya was about to touch him, and not just with anything. No. He was about to baptize him with his cove of purifying moister, immersing him with his divine estuary. He found himself glad Akria thought him a bit on controlling his pressure.

Ichigo leaned his head back with something in-between a moan and a chuckle. "I don't think you enjoy helping, I think you enjoy being better than other people."

Byakuya's mild grin could be heard in his voice, though he tried to suppress it. "It's not that I enjoy it, I just _am_ better than others."

"Cocky bastard," Ichigo actually laughed out loud, only to have the sound hitched by his member being submerged into Byakuya's mouth. Oh god, how he missed that sensation. Byakuya was doing unholy things with his tongue that no one would believe was in the nobleman's skill set. He held himself as so somber and solitude for so long that people seemed to forget he was a man once with lust, desires, love, a wife. It had just been so very long since someone stimulated those parts of him.

The noble constricted his throat around Ichigo's pulsating length, enjoying each slurp, lick, and suck of the perfectly ruddy and curved member leaking in his mouth. He'd go from teasing the tip to swallowing the whole thing until it was jabbing his throat. As his finger began to tease Ichigo's entrance and one hand ran affectionally up and down Ichigo shaky legs, he said, "We won't be able to use lubrication this time, but I promise to very gentle."

Ichigo smirked. "Don't worry, I can take it. I'm tougher than you're giving me credit for." He lifted his hips, trying to draw Byakuya's lithe and nimble fingers into him more.

Byakuya growled seductively before continuing with his sweet genital benevolence. "Yes. Your body is as tough as it is beautiful."

The younger man blushed ferociously at that, a respond Byakuya noticed and reveled in. Ichigo would never get use to that, being called beautiful by someone like Byakuya. Sure, he thought he was a good looking guy, but..beautiful? Manly, handsome, attractive even, but the word beautiful felt as if it was reserved for the softer more tamed things in this life, the more elegant. Like the sakura tree that was lavishing them with it's gentle petals or the mysticalness of a sunset, or like Byakuya. Yes. Byakuya was beautiful, hauntingly so. Exquisitely refined, yet equally full of a masculine confidence. His taciturn and introspective nature only making him more mysteriously comely. How withdrawn and thoughtful the man was, how one must work to know the complexity that was Byakuya Kuchiki, that only made him more beautifully desirable. There was nothing easy about him, and he was so worth the challenge.

Ichigo held his pressure in, albeit quite the difficult task as his body curled and skewed head to toe. Byakuya was undoing him with softness of his lips, the wetness of his tongue, and the adeptness of his slender fingers, holding his narrowed hip to keep Ichigo in place as his body naturally tried to recoil in the face of such intense pleasure. He could feel him self build up to his edge, so close to being pushed off into a lagoon of a saturated and sticky pinnacle of pleasure, only to float in the effects of his euphoria pulsating through his whole being until it settled into the most satisfying warmness.

As if Byakuya could read his body perfectly, he withdrew all of his attention except for a teasing tongue flicking at his head. "Byakuya, stop teasing me," Ichigo moaned.

Ichigo's core shivered as Byakuya wrapped his lips around Ichigo's shaft, but kept them inert, only humming thoughtfully. The vibration ran through his hardness and set his body on fire, building up into an untamable tension begging to burst. "Perhaps if you tell me what you want, you'll receive it."

Sitting up on his elbows, Ichigo looked at the man with the most serious scowl he could manage through his abashed ruddy cheeks. "You're pure evil. You're going to deny me unless I say something so embarrassing?"

The man smirked around his mouthful before removing it momentarily, earning a whiny moan from his counterpart. "I understand you're still new to such sybaritic moments of intimacy, and therefore, you feel bashful towards the lust you feel. I am," he kissed the soft peach skin around Ichigo's loins, "only trying to help you move past this."

More hungry squirming ensued on Ichigo's part as he sighed heavily, giving in. "Finish me with your mouth, Byakuya," he moaned out, bucking his hips hard into Byakuya awaiting opened lips. "I want to watch you do it," he settled in deeper on his elbows, arching his neck and constricting his abs as he watched his lover moan over his length and begin to devour him again. It took little effort until Ichigo's warmness exploded into Byakuya, coating his humming and compressing throat with his juices. Ichigo thrusted his hips in a rhythmic motion, ridding his climax out in the nobles mouth.

Fingers still very much fucking him, Byakuya moved in-between Ichigo's spread thighs, leaning over the man. Ichigo sat up as much as he could while still granting his bedmate full access to his needy hole. His own hands were twitching with a need, fulfilling that need by grasping Byakuya's cock and massaging it all over, kneading the head. They shared kisses, passionate and deep, humid and erotic as they both stimulated each other.

Ichigo bit his lip and pressed his moist forehead against Byakuya's, the sweat of their fervid lovemaking making their sweltering bodies scintillate. "I wan't you inside of me," he spoke, only a thick millimeter of heat separating their lips. "Stop teasing me."

"Kurosaki.." Byakuya said, voice authoritative yet equally as wanton. "I must prepare you thoroughly. Without lubrication and preparation, I could rip you and cause you great pain for many days. Even with both of those things, intercourse between males can still be painful at first, and leave you sore the following days."

An almost whimpering growl broached Ichigo's lips. "Yeah, trust me, I remember from the last time. Though, it was kind've out shined by my raging hangover and being pissed off at you." He chuckled against the man's lips, rolling his forehead across Byakuya's. "And do you gotta say intercourse? That makes it sound so clinical."

Byakuya smirked at that. "Well I have always been known for my professionalism."

"You're definitely a pro, alright." Shaking his head in amusement, Ichigo rolled his neck back, letting the beautiful man kiss up the length of his throat. Once he was prepared, Ichigo quickly pushed against the noble, forcing him into a sitting position. Ichigo straddled him and, with the help of Byakuya, positioned himself on the tip of Byakuya's massive manhood. He grinned against it as Byakuya made controlled, short thrust, allowing himself to gradually infiltrate Ichigo's tightness. Clenching against Byakuya's shoulders, Ichigo bit at his neck slightly while digging his nails in, trying to work Byakuya into him millimeter by millimeter. While it was painful, it was just as erogenous. Finally situated on Byakuya and letting his entrance adjust to the size, both the men rocked their hips deeply and at steady and methodical rate until their thrust synched, their bodies moving in perfect tandem. Pants and groans escaped them both as their controlled movements became less abiding and more destitute, begging for sloppier and more hectic jabs. They shared kisses and licks, bitting and sucking at every part of each other bodies, all of their affections blending into their trance inducing tryst. It felt like pure bliss, the ultimate pleasure.

"You feel heavenly," Byakua muttered, gripping Ichigo's cheeks and lifting him up and down over the length of his throbbing shaft. The moans of Ichigo's pleasure only turned him on further, loving the knowledge that he could make such a stubborn and bashful man have such lecherous and shameless reactions. When Ichigo started rubbing at his own painfully stiff member, Byakuya grabbed his wrist in disapproval. "No coming until I allow it."

Nipping at the man's lip, Ichigo said, "Do you think you could stop me if I wanted to? I'm on top, so I'm controlling this ride."

The raven haired man huffed and smirked, pressing his finger pads into Ichigo's most exposed, sensitive tendons. "I have always adored the way you challenge me." Running the pad of his thumb over Ichigo's parted lips, Byakuya's eyes lit up like pools of silver, displaying his voracity for the younger man. "Kurosaki," he whisper through his sensual assaults, "I do quite enjoy hearing you say such vulgar things with this mouth."

Ichigo smirked brilliantly, leaning in to the man's florid ear lob as he whispered, "Kuchiki Byakuya likes dirty talk, huh? I would have never guessed."

"I am a man of varying interest," he moaned into the curve of Ichigo's neck.

Repositioning himself, Ichigo went from straddling the man to wrapping his leg around the seated noble, still grinding on Byakuya's length while he settled. "Oh," he licked the shell of the noble's ear, whispering oh so headily, "so you like when I tell you how good it feels to have you inside me?" Nibbling at the man's ear, Ichigo demanded, "Do you remember how you made me scream last time? Do it again."

Byakuya released an animalistic growl as he pushed Ichigo back, propping his legs behind his neck to push into him as deep as physically possible. Such a loud visceral moan left Ichigo's lips, only to be stifled by Byakuya's tongue invading his own. "You have no comprehension of what these earnest reactions of yours do to me," Byakuya grunted out, hitting Ichigo's bundle of nerves with every forceful drive of the hips.

"Byaku-yaa, harder..please!"

"Mh, my pleasure."

"'Kuya..I'm going to..fuck..i'm.."

"That's right, Ichigo. Come for me, let it all go." He and ichigo both thrusted hard a few more times, their movements harmonize with each others.

The sound of Byakuya moaning his name, his first name, as his warm release filled him, radiating through out his crux, was more than enough to send Ichigo right over that edge with him. It only made him color ridiculously when he could feel Byakuya's still hard member twitching inside of him as the noble's hips worked through his climax, orbiting, going in and out in such a painstakingly slow yet effective manner, prodding Ichigo's already raw prostate with each roll. Finally, despite still being aroused, Byakuya rolled off and sat back on his palms to catch his breath.

There was no time for a time out or for his lunge to regain that lost oxygen as his shoulders were pushed into the back of the sakura tree. His eyes were met by such an astringent and thrilling glare, making him anxious of what such a look could mean.

At the younger man licking his lips, Byakuya said, "Ichigo, wh-"

All questions and concerns were threw out the window by the feeling of Ichigo's mouth curling around his length, the youth making delicious slurping moans as if it was the tastiest thing he'd even encounter. "So..good.." Ichigo reveled, his tongue lapping off the tangy release that covered Byakuya's member. He swallowed it to the hilt, taking it in as if it was the most satisfying thing to ever bless his mouth.

Teasing the man, Byakuya said, "I think I've found the perfect solution to busying that insolent mouth of yours."

Releasing Byakuya only momentarily, Ichigo returned the jest. "I wouldn't be so cheeky with the guy whos teeth are so close to your manhood."

Byakuya gave such a genuine laugh, a rare thing indeed. It was because, with just one smart aleck remark, Ichigo could remind Byakuya of just one of the many reasons he cared for the man so deeply. He leaned his head against the topiary, letting all thoughts go as he enjoyed what Ichigo was offering him. As he neared completion, Byakuya tangled his fingers into Ichigo's locks, loving the way Ichigo's name felt as he moaned it out upon his climax.

Wiping his lips, Ichigo sat up sharing heavy pants and unyielding glares with the man in front of him. He managed a soft smile. Byakuya smiled back with his eyes, which was more than anyone else would get from the Kuchiki noble. For an instant, all of that warmness almost started morphing into uncertainty and awkwardness. His thoughts were just moments away from asking his self the dreaded 'what next' question. Should he get up and just leave? How could he do that? After such an intense moment that bonded their souls, if only momentarily, he couldn't just treat this as just some casual screw. Just because they weren't together didn't mean he had to treat it as _less_ than it was.

Luckily, all of that doubt and uncomfortableness was forgotten as Byakuya drew him in, gesturing for him to straddle his lap. The older man wrapped his arms around Ichigo and they both sat with their foreheads touching and their breath still fluttering from their joining.

"That," Ichigo rasped, "was-"

"I know," Byakuay finished, "that and then some."

"I'm glad I was able to restrain my pressure," Ichigo smirked. "Though, I don't think that would have really stopped you."

"Usually my pride would lead me to disagree with you, but my will power of late has not been as strong as it once was." Byakuya shifted his eyes, an unidentifiable emotion filling them. "You're quite the impetus, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichgo laced his arms around the slightly bowed neck of Byakuya's. Not wanting this warm fuzziness to dissipate, not quite yet, he taunted the man, "Hey, don't go blaming it on me."

The nobleman gave an airy scoff, humorous in it's nature. Grasping Ichigo's hips, he tugged on him, bring their bodies even closer. Raising a cursory eyebrow at the man, Byakuya asked, "And didn't you claim that the next time we did this _you'd_ be taking _me_ , hm?"

"I said when you stop being stubborn. You're still being stubborn."

"Hm," Byakuya hummed in consideration. "I suppose we are alike in that way, so you could be waiting a very long time."

"Well if you're so eager, I'm up for another round," Ichigo was only half kidding, rubbing his cheek affectionately against Byakuya's.

"We've made enough foolish decision for one night," Byakuya reasoned. "You must think me so weak." It seemed so pointless to avoid a relationship with Ichigo when they were obviously drawn to each other, when the happiness they caused each other could be seen in their interactions. Yet, while the idea of never holding Ichigo again hurt deeply, the idea of being completely vulnerable to this man was even more bitting. It caused him such a great pain, the idea of loving someone fully once more. He wasn't sure which was worse, the weakness he felt at not being able to love Ichigo the way he deserved or the weakness he felt at not being able to push him away.

"No." Ichigo laced their finger slowly, letting them intermingle with the lightest of touches. "I'm not saying that I agree with it, but I understand now that it's not something I can just push on you. You're not ready for what us being together would mean, but that doesn't make you weak. It just means you're at a different stage in your life." Ichigo tightened their grasp and sighed. "Besides, I'm the one who came on to you. I didn't plan it, really. I didn't even think we'd run into each other like that. You were prepared to walk away though, because you didn't wan't to hurt me anymore."

Byakuya tried to hide his shame as he dipped his head slightly. "Still, I should have protested more. I knew what kind of confusion this could invite." Ichigo wasn't just holding his hands, but playing with his fingers. He kept slowly brushing them with his own, pressing his fingers firmly yet gently against every tendon, starring into his palm with such intensity. Byakuay knew that this was a mixture of nervousness, affection, and admiration, and such a simple gesture could show just how the man was feeling. "However," he added hesitantly, "I don't regret it, as much as I probably should." With that, he picked up Ichigo's hand and kissed the palm, making Ichigo gape marginally.

"Neither do I," he muttered. "I- I don't want you out of my life, Byakuya. I want us to be friends."

"I as well, but.."

"We're both two giant stupid horn dogs who can't be around each other like normal people."

Unable to help some of his usual sarcasm, Byakuay said, "I could not have said it more eloquently myself… Perhaps..you should move your attention else where, to someone more deserving. Someone like your lieutenant."

Ichigo threw his head back at that. "Are you jealous, Byakuya? It's not like you to suggest a captain and lieutenant dating. "

"Absolutely not, I was merely suggesti-"

"You were suggesting that I could just transfer these feelings onto someone else." Ichigo cocked an accusing eyebrow, only perfected by the scowl he donned. "Look, I don't know if you don't take my feelings seriously or what, but this isn't something that I can just emulate with anyone. It doesn't work that way." His face softened as he chuckled lightly. "I feel bad for any guy who tries to get with me in the future." Ichigo pressed his velvet lips to Byakuya's forehead, giving the man a delicate kiss. "You're one hard man to top, Byakuay Kuchiki."

Ichigo went to move of off the man's lap, but his wrist was caught by Byakuya's. The older man visibly gulped while looking apprehensive. "Stay with me tonight, will you?"

Ichigo smiled softly. "That depends, are you going to give me another break up speech in the morning?"

"That depends, am I going to have to?"

The younger man huffed, but shook his head no, looking somewhat defeated. "I told you, I understand what this was."

When Ichigo lied his head against Byakuya's shoulders, the man tightened his arms around him further, running his hand up and down the man's back. "My pain is trivial when compared to yours, Ichigo. I do not wish to be the cause, and I do wish I could simply be with you in the way you want. Mostly, I wish I could be as strong as you, but being with you in-"

"Shh, you don't have to explain yourself. I understand. You're scared of this, scared of losing the person you love again, scared of not being the best nobleman you can be. I am stubborn as hell though, so maybe I'm still just hoping I'll wear ya' down, make you realize that being scared just shows how important this is."

Ichigo was right, he was scared of all of those things, but that was not all. _'Hisana never truly loved me in the way I did her, and though I know you two are nothing alike, I wonder if I am a man who could be loved. I find myself terrified that my distant and cold nature would push you away, and that you too would realize that I'm not worth loving. Men like myself were not bred to love, but to lead. Oh, and how you deserve to be showered with affection, Ichigo. You deserve better.'_

Their mouths met for soft yet lingering kisses before the older man smirked against his lips. "We're both fools then."

Leaning closer into Byakuya, Ichigo groaned, "This is such a mess."

"Yes, quite."

"No," Ichigo moved back, looking in-between them. "It's literally a fucking mess."

Byakuya looked down to their abdomens both smeared with each others sweat and seamen. He looked back up, biting his lip to hold back a smile. "You have always been the careless type, I'd expect nothing less."

"Hey!" Ichgio rebutted, "I didn't do this alone, ya know?"

Lightly kissing Ichigo across his collar bones, affectionally taking in every part of the man he cared for so deeply, Byakuya said, "Tidiness was the last of my concerns at the time. Come, let's clean off and get some rest."

With a somewhat mischievous chuckle, Ichigo said, "Fine, but I don't think we'll be getting much rest."

 **xXx**

When Ichigo woke the next morning, he'd pretty much woken in the manner of which he expected: alone. Some optimistic, yet delusional part of him had held onto an iota of hope that he'd be met by the whiff of cherry blossoms and the silkiness of raven hair tickling his face. Alas, all he woke to was the sight of an empty bed that felt like a punch in the gut. It had been so long since he felt such a physical manifestation of his sadness, a pain that radiated through his every limb, sat upon his chest, and twisted his entrails. It was a pain that took the breath out of him, one he hadn't expected. He understood it would hurt, but he never could imagine quite how much. It felt as if something fundamental had been plucked from him in the way it feels when someone you love dies, and he just wanted to scream and bawl in mourning. Yet, as his throat and chest tightened, drowning in the tears he suppressed, he bite them back with all of his will power, resolving himself and his breathing to calm.

He thought, after two months, he'd gotten over the worse, and honestly, he had. Yet, seeing the slight impression in the sheets beside him where Byakuya had laid, belonging to him, if only a moment, it rubbed salt in the wounds he and Byakuya so carelessly opened the night prior.

Ichigo wondered how Byakuya was doing. He was probably acting as if everything was okay when it wasn't, hiding his thoughts behind a still face and permeant stiff lip. The stubborn bastard probably wouldn't even let himself feel the sadness until he was all alone. He'd probably reprimand Renji more than usual and spend most of his evening doing paperwork, trying to hide from thoughts of them. Ichigo worried. He worried about the stress he knew it would cause the man. He worried about Byakuya holding all of his feelings inside and having no one he'd speak of them too. Without Ichigo around, who would force him out of his shell, force him to stop burying himself in work to just deal with what he was feeling? Ichigo hadn't told any of his friends either, and often he dealt with the pain himself. Yet, even without words, Ichigo had the always comforting presence of the people who cared for him to make him feel better. Whereas Byakuya locked himself away like a prince in a tower of his own volition, not even allowing himself to be distracted with the company of others. What a stubborn man he was in love with.

For a moment, he let the warmth of Byakuya's bed hold him and all of his sense. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. The bed smelt just like the man, something completely distinct mixed with the dulcet aroma of sakura. Seeing as this could very likely be the last time he took in the man's scent, he thrived in it momentarily. Briefly, he let their memories flow back to him, remembering every arch and crevices, every smirk or airy chuckle. He recalled the way Byakuya's lips felt like sendal against his own, the way his porcelain skin glimmered like tensile from their lovemaking. He took in every single memory and etched them into his brain, because he knew as time passed, these memories would become like distant dreams that happened to someone else. The heart break from not being with the man was nothing. The true pain would come when he could no longer remember the way it felt to trace his fingers along every inch Byakuya's body had to offer.

Finally, he pushed himself up and stretched his aching limbs before he saw a small piece of parchment lying on a small table beside the bed. He read the words out loud.

"Ichigo, feel free to shower and eat before you depart. My attendant has washed your uniform and it's hanging in my bathing quarters. I insist you eat the breakfast I had my cooks prepare. Sincerely, Byakuya."

Feeling the burning constricting threat of tears, Ichigo balled up the paper and shook them off. It wasn't as if he was mad at the man. No. The gesture was because Byakuya truly did care, but that was the only way he knew how to show it. Yet, after all of their intimacy, this semi-causal note just seemed so impressionable and filled him with an anger that he had no where to direct. It was an anger at the situation and the feelings it yielded. Mostly, he couldn't be in Byakuya's house, surrounded by his stuff, his smell, without having a breakdown he just had no time for. So after changing back into his uniform, he flashed off.

Thirty minuets and one shower later, Ichigo ambled into his office. He sighed deeply, his usual aloof face even more unmoved than usual. He hadn't even have it in him to scowl, but instead, he moved only on auto pilot. Akira smiled at him as he entered and informed him that lieutenant Kuchiki was waiting by his office for him. He simply nodded before making his way to the women.

When he opened the door, he was met with a swift smack atop his head and a shrill buzzing in his head. "Where the hell were you last night, Ichigo? You left without telling anyone, and we were worried about you!"

Rubbing his head, Ichigo grimaced, "Geez, good morning to you too. I left! I didn't know I had to ask for permission every time I decide to leave somewhere."

"It's called being considerate, you idiot!"

Ichigo's response was cut off by a knock to his door. "Enter," he groused.

"Captain Kurosaki," Akria greeted, stepping into the room. "Sorry to disrupt."

"No, please, you're just saving me from more abuse."

Akira chuckled lightly. "You're already causing trouble this early in the morning, Captain?" At the narrowed eyebrows directed towards him, Akria huffed, "Well, this was left here for you early this morning." The second in command walked over to Ichigo and handed him a slim black box before waiting for Ichigo to dismiss him. After a few dubious glares, Ichigo told him to take his leave.

Ichigo propped open the top, Rukia also staring on in eager anticipation at what was inside the box. Yet, what he saw did little to calm his confusion. A pair of simple yet stunning hair pens, obviously hand crafted and extremely expensive. Rukia looked on in shock, but Ichigo took no notice. Instead, his attention turned to a sliver of parchment coiled up in the box. Unrolling the paper, he read what it said. _To the man who will always reside in my heart even if he can never reside at my side, these belong to you and no other. Love, yours and only yours._

The paper slipped from his fingers as they trembled ever so slightly, and without even noticing, a tear slid down his cheek. For a moment, he forgotten Rukia was there, and only remembered when he felt her tiny hand comfort his shoulder. "Their really beautiful. I'm glad he listened to me when I told him to give them to you."

Completely stunned and still a little confused, Ichigo stumbled over his words. "What, wait, you knew?"

Rukia nodded with a simper. "For a while now, and don't you start with your apologies. I don't need them and I'm over it. I know you, and I know my brother, neither of you ever wanted to hurt me."

The confusion stayed for a moment, but slowly drifted away until his eyes found the hair pens. He ran his fingertips over the soothing cool silver, muttering, "What are these? I mean, I know what they are, but wh-"

"Their family heirlooms, much like my brothers hair pieces. Their suppose to be presented to the lady of the house," Rukia explained softly, becoming more tender at that vibrant swelling of pain in the man's honey eyes. "He presented them to me last evening as a birthday gift, telling me that giving them to someone he didn't truly love after seeing Hisana wear them would be wrong. I told him to give them to you. Ichigo.." She paused, choosing her words wisely, "perhaps he won't be with you, but he gave these to you because they truly belong to no one else. He didn't want to give them to whatever wife the clan will chose because they meant to much to give to anyone he didn't really love, and just letting them sit there probably felt wrong in someway to him. They belong to the person he loves, which is you."

Ichigo's fist tightened until his own nails were digging into his skin. He felt himself shaking. "But, he said yours and only yours, as if he belongs to me." Ichigo punched his desk, and Rukia didn't even flinch. She merely stepped back to give the man his personal space. "Bull shit. How can he belong to me when we're not together?"

Rukia sighed deeply. "Ichigo, I'm not saying I agree with my brothers decision, however…" She paused again, starting over. "It's like a star, Ichigo. They burn their brightest for just a moment in time, and then they explode. Their gone forever. Yet, even though they can't be seen, their effects can still be felt through out the whole universe. What I'm trying to say is, sometimes it's okay to have this stunning flash of pure connection and passion, only to have it explode. Just because it's not made to last doesn't make it any less beautiful and any less important. You two just met at the wrong time, in the wrong way, maybe even in the wrong life, but it doesn't change the way it effected you. You see, even though it's gone, it will always stick with both of you, and you'll always carry a piece of each other with you." Rukia's intense stare was held by gentle eyes as she tried to read Ichigo. Finally she concluded, "Nii-sama, he has chosen to be alone, so it is very likely you really will be the last person he ever loves, but for you, Ichigo," she leaned across the desk and grasped his hand, "you still have time. You'll fall in love again one day. Sure, they won't be Byakuya, but you'll love them for different reasons, and this experience will only make you all the better. This will help you grow. So I know it hurts, but try to not look at what happened between you two as a mistake or with so much negative energy. Don't ruin the beautiful parts of what you two experienced."

Ichigo was silent for a while before grasping tighter at his friends hand. "I could never regret Byakuya," he assured. "He's silent and somber, but he's thoughtful and carrying. He's arrogant, every bit of it is deserved, yet he never lets that get in the way of knowing his limits-"

"Except when he fought you," Rukia smiled.

Retuning the sad smile, Ichigo nodded, "Yeah..He's intelligent and honorable, courageous and self sacrificing. He's a smart ass." Ichigo let out a wet chuckle at the bitter sweet thought, allowing a few tears to come with them. "He knew how to mellow me with his maturity, just, like…he anchored me. Even though we're really similar in a lot of ways and different in even more, something about him just calmed the rain, ya know? Maybe I just felt silly being so pissy when he always had this tranquil aura about him. He just…" Ichigo gritted, pushing out, "made we want to be a better person. He made me want to be my best person."

Rukia smiled tentatively and squeezed the hand under hers. "I'm sure he feels the same way about you. You've both been challenging each other since the day you met."

Ichigo pulled his hand free and wiped his eyes, shaking away all the tears begging for an escape. He took in one long and jagged sigh, calming himself in the process. After composing himself in a silence that Rukia did not break, he said, "I know you're right, Rukia. Sill, I can't see myself feeling like this for anyone else."

With one last comforting, albeit sad, smile, Rukia assured, "I know, but one day you will. 


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys, first off, thank you for your wonderful feedback. I'll respond to the comments at the bottom. After some thought, I decided to add two more chapters. In a way, the story did end at the last chapter, because there is a major time jump between the events in it and the events in this chapter. The next chapter will be a continuous of this one and also have the epilogue. I'm pretty much in love with the way this story is going to end because I feel like, in a way, everything comes back full circle. It sort've just ended up writing it's self and I couldn't be happier with the results. I will go ahead and say that the ending to this story(not including the epilogue) is pretty tragic, more so than the last chapter. However, I think the epilogue makes it totally worth it. I'll let you guys decide. Hopefully it won't take me so long to get the next chapter up. I'm already done with half of it, and I've already written the epilogue.**

 **Also, I'm sorry for the flow of this chapter and if it seems a little wonky. This style of writing is a little different than my usual, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.**

 **A little side note, I'm currently working on another cannon Byaich story called "Slow dancing in a dark room." It's probably one of my best received stories, so if you're into cannon ByaIchi, check it out. If you're into A.U ByaIchi, I have plenty of those too.**

 **Good vibes ~Ashes**

 **Cavoli Riscaldati**

 **(V) An Italian phrase: Trying to rekindle a love affair long lost.**

Byakuya felt fickle towards the spring. It's the nature of sakura blossoms to bloom intensely and die suddenly, therefore their transient beauty was short lived while eagerly anticipated. Yet now his affinity towards his own blossoms had turned against him. Their memory was as bittersweet as the death they brought when yielded from his sword.

They brought about thoughts of him..

They made him think of ten springs ago, and while that was good in it's own ways, it was also just as dreadful. Though, if he was honest, which he was much more these days, he'd admit that he didn't need the blossoms to remind him of the man who was as bright as the sun. More so, the flowers just made the constant memories swell a little bit deeper, feel a little more potent.

Lonely and isolated in the walls he had built around himself, Byakuya had plenty of time to think. When Hisana had died all of that time ago, he used her death as a way to build up said wall brick by brick. There was always a reason, some of them valid, some of them not so much. Missing her was valid, but after so much time, he felt as if he abused her memory. While he missed her, after such a long span of time, most thoughts of his late wife brought about pleasing memories, but little sadness. If anything, her memory would sometimes sting, reminding him of the bitterness he felt towards the love she could never return. Yet, for so long, he used his connection to her as a means to deter any possible affection. He made it seem as if he still belonged to her, therefore, he could never pursue anyone else. While that was true for a long time, after awhile it became about him being embittered and jaded as a result of her rejection and early demise.

It wasn't because the love she made him feel captured him, but the fear she made him feel.

He use to mourn Hisana, but not so much any more. Now he mourned Ichigo. Oh how he grieve for the man. A man who was still alive and well, but that Byakuya ripped out of his life. He killed Ichigo. Killed his presence anyway, leaving him with more bereavement towards the man than the sea had water.

His pride and clan status were in themselves big issues, but they weren't the root cause. In reality, if he had broken the rules for Ichigo, what would've really become of it? In no way would it have compromised his position, his status, or his exemplification of lawfulness. It was the nature of laws to be amended and the duty of the ones who enforced them to also challenge them when they became obsolete and unmerited. Perhaps being the first male house head with an openly male partner would've enacted the tide of progression for the often archaic noble hierarchy. It was Ichigo who reminded him of such.

Prior he had used flimsy excuses of the importance of staying focused, reminding himself that the man would be a distraction from his sworn duty. Yet Byakuya's thoughts were overran by the other captain even a decade later, proving that his reasoning had been baseless and a little less than another shoddy excuse.

It was two years ago that the truth became to blinding for dismissal. One day he couldn't lie to himself or dishonor his memory and time with Ichigo nor Hisana anymore. Though he had known the real truth for his own rejection for quite some time, if not the whole time, he had never once thought of it as a mistake. Each time he felt remorse, his defiance would convince him that it was for the best. But was it? After eight years of baffling stubbornness, he definitively realized that no, it was not. Byakuya had few regrets in his life, but that one, it would surely burry him.

At some point, he languished away the part of himself that yearned for the companionship of another. He forgot how he once loved the tickling shock of finger pads brushing against his own skin. In boxes, he packed away the man who once thrived for cold nights that were only warmed by the body heat of another, and he stored them deeply. Now he pulled those boxes out, rummaging nostalgically in the way one found themselves lounging amongst old family picture albums that were sprawling the floor. He missed that part of him, and it took him a long time to realize that, unlike pictures, these facets were not mere vigils.

The war was long over. Their homeland was repaired and the gotie strong. His squad ran efficiently, and though the stress of his noble duties were sometimes harsh, they were nothing he hadn't became habituated to over the years. So he had to wonder, what was he living for? Surely he did things of importance, but most of his life was spent dawdling away his time until he had no more, never a day spent doing something that satisfied the part of him that craved the most basic of needs intrinsic to all living beings, affection.

Even flowers needed the soft caress of wind and the loving hydration of rain to grow. So when exactly did Byakuya decide that his life would be better off spent in solitude? When did he decide it was simply okay to throttle such a pivotal part of himself? Was he that okay with feeling dead inside? Perhaps he had been, but after experiencing the pure joy of being with Ichigo, after reaping the consequences of giving him away by his own volition, it set in deep how useless of a sacrifice it was. It accomplished nothing but keeping him cemented in his own pain. His safe, dependable pain. A pain he became complacent to and was far less frightening than falling head first into the gamble that was his affections for the hell raiser Ichigo Kurosaki.

Rukia once told him about Kaien's theory of the heart, how we live on in the hearts of the people we touch. That is the true measure of a man's life. If that's the case, then what did his life truly amount to? Of course, protection and virtue were huge parts of who he was, but just doing only that was such a half - baked existence. When he grew old and his time had arrived, would it be his position and his duty that held him tightly? Would the memories of all the nights he spent in reclusive silence, void of any laughter or affable chatter, comfort him? And when they laid him in the ground to say their respectful goodbyes to the man they had barely known, the graveyard grazed by the scanty tears that few would cry, would he feel at peace with his choice of protecting the people he cared about at an arms distance? Would he be happy to die a coward who only half lived because of his own fears?

He'd die a hero who lived among the shadows, distancing himself from everyone. Their hearts would morn his prowess, but would be too blind to the other part of him to mourn a friend, and it would be all his fault. The worst of this realization was that it didn't have to be this way. Byakuya, upon his own accord, decided on this fragmentary existence. It was an unsolicited sacrifice, and there was no holy cause that prompted his martyrdom.

As life would have it, it was his old lieutenant and a man he now openly considered a friend that snapped him from his delirium.

 **xXx**

 _Renji sat unmoved, his eye's blinking a couple of times at the stoic man seated in front of him. "Come again?"_

 _Byakuya sighed. Was this really that much of a shock? How degraded was his image in the eyes of his comrades, that he expected some other response? Byakuya was a lot of things, but unjustly cruel was not one of them. More importantly, his sister and the man had been courting for years all with Byakuya's knowledge. He knew eventually it would lead to this. "I said, you have my blessing. Of course, I may have to revoke it if you insist on staring at me in such a way."_

 _Blushing slightly, Renji jumped to his feet and did something in between a bow and a leap of pure joy. Though he didn't show it, Byakuya was rather glad to see the happiness of the other so radiant, filling the room with the passionate vibes that accompanied the red head wherever he went. "Thank you so much! You don't know how much it means to Rukia to have your acceptance. She respects you so much, that I don't think she'd be able to move forward without your blessing."_

 _Nodding amicably, Byakuya said, "It is of little issue, Captain Arabari-san."_

 _Grinning and once again finding his seat, Renji waved the man off. "Ah, come on, Byakuya-san! We're going to be brother and laws, so you don't need to be all formal with me."_

 _Sipping at his tea and glancing out at a blooming sakura from his window, Byakuya concede with an air of humor. "Very well, Renji-san. I suppose since you will have to deal with the harsh realities of being apart of the Kuchiki family, I shall address you as such."_

 _Pulling at the collar of his Yutaka, Renji laughed something nervously. "Heh, don't go scaring me already. I haven't even got down on one knee yet."_

" _Do not fear," the other captain spoke impassively, "If you can deal with me, the clan should give you little trouble."_

 _Renji watched the distance of his old captain. He seemed in his own world so often these days. Even when he was there, actively holding a conversation, it was always as if he was wistfully looking off, just waiting for something to happen. Though, if he was honest, it wasn't just lately. For years now, Byakuya had been relatively the same, only even more withdrawn. Whereas before he always kept to himself while still holding a solid anchor to reality, now he almost seemed as if he was in a constant day dream. It was as if his thoughts where all lost to a reverie, all focused on a place and time he yearned so deeply to return to, yet knew he could not._

 _When his smile faded into something more serious, Renji said, "You know, I think very highly of your blessing too, but unlike Rukia, with or without it, It would not have changed my resolve." Byakuya blinked in confusion at that, but let the man finish. "I don't think you'd want Rukia marrying the type of man who would so easily give up. See, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a man lately. I think the strength of a man can be seen in how he loves another person and the resolve to fight for that. It's about putting integrity above all else. It's about the sacrifices you make." Softer now, Renji added, "I learned that through you, Byakuya-san, through the sacrifice you made for your family, the law, your sister, and your late wife." If Byakuya wasn't pristine at reigning back his visible emotions, he would have faltered at such a statement. "I didn't realize, but through all those years as your second in command, you were not simply teaching me to be a good solider, but a good man, a good husband." Clearing his throat and sucking up the mawkish tears that filled his eyes and were a mere spoken syllable away from trailing his cheeks, Renji declared, "Thank you. If I didn't believe I was a worthy man, I wouldn't be asking you for Rukia's hand."_

 _Byakuya, though he was much too ceremonious to show it, was touched. Despite how others might perceive him, Byakuya was actually quite good with his words. Which is how he perfected the art of leaving all the things he needed to say in between his candor speech and the words not said. He was a man who knew how to let silences and nuances speak for him, and often he understood less was more. However, when he chose to be bare faced, or at least as bare faced as a man like him could be, you knew the sentiments were imperative. " And If I didn't find you suitable, I would not have given my blessing. You're a fine man, Renji-san, and I'm glad I've been able to have such a positive effect on your life."_

 _Nodding, Renji looked noticeably more nervous, which he tried to hide behind a brave face that Byakuya knew all too well after the years. His voice would inflect a decimal. His eyes would have trouble holding prolonged contact. He'd thrum his fingers against his knee. Though he spoke with confidence, apprehension was still apparent. "Not many people know you well, Rukia, myself, a few of your senpia..Ichigo." And just like Renji expected, Byakuya's eyes sharpened at the name of the man, almost as if he was now listening more deliberately. "If I told someone else how I've learned those things from you, they'd probably give me a crazy look," the red head chuckled, though it didn't seem to be out of humor. "That's because more than most, you don't show your truest self to the outside world. I get it, with this crazy noble life you've been raised in and all the things you've went through, it's expected. It's just basic survival. You've been adapting so you can live through all of this stuff. Still, who you really are, if someone can get close enough, is more obvious than you might think."_

 _Intrigued yet equally as impatient, Byakuya sighed, "Does this have a point?" This was another sign of his nervousness, the man was rambling. Surely he had a point, but it was getting convoluted in all of the things he wanted to convey._

" _Yeah. My point is you're a good man, Byakuya. More importantly, you're not a cold man, despite what some others may think. The people who really know you well can see it. You deserve good things, and maybe you'll never be wearing your heart on your sleeve like me, but that's not such a bad thing. How guarded you are is apart of who you are, your strength. The people who really see you, they like you just the way you are. I know Ichigo does."_

" _Why is it you keep bringing up Captain Kurosaki-san?"_

 _Completely ignoring the question, Renji finished, "But still..even a strength can be a weakness. You have to meet people in the middle sometimes, ya know? I think you should reconsider opening your heart up just a bit, especially to the people who care for you most."_

" _I'd highly appreciate it if you would stop dancing around the issue, Renji-san," Byakuya noted, fretting his brow at the man. "That or please take your rambling else where."_

 _In a huff, Renji said, "All the people who know you best think you're an awesome person..except for you. I'm just saying, you should give yourself a break and realize how you look through the eyes of the people who care." Brown eyes glistening with an impassioned sadness, Renji mused, "Isn't it time to do something for yourself for once? Being mister prideful nobleman supreme doesn't mean that's all you are. Few people take the time to look through that ice casing, so shouldn't you stop being stubborn and just let him love you the ways he's always wanted?"_

 _Lamely, Byakuya asked, "Who?" He knew who. Renji knew he knew also, and that only made his playing dumb routine all the more pathetic._

" _I'm talking about Ichigo."_

 _Deflecting, he said, "Yes, quite a lot today for some strange reason."_

 _Narrowing his eyebrows at the man's flimsy attempt to get out of the conversation, Renji sighed, "Byakuya.."_

 _Sitting his tea cup down, Byakuya pulled out his trump card, his ever present air of aristocratic authority. "I believe you came here to ask for my blessing. I did not ask nor do I appreciate your meddling in my personal affairs. Moreover, I have absolutely no idea of what you're going on about."_

 _Shaking his head in obvious frustration, the red head cursed under his breath. "Damn it, Byakuya, will you just cut the crap for once? I'm not your lieutenant any more. I'm a captain, a friend, and family. Rukia and I worry about you, since someone needs too! Can't you just talk to me without all of the pretenses? I thought we were equals now."_

" _Hardly," Byakuya scoffed._

" _Look, all I'm saying is, I've heard you talk to that shrine a lot over the years when you thought no one was listening." Byakuya's eye's widened, but Renji just kept talking. "Despite the arrogant act you put on, I know how you really think of yourself. You think of yourself as someone who is unloveable because of his upbringing, someone who can't love or have it returned because of his coldness, but thats crap. It's through watching you that I even learned what it takes to be a man worth loving!" Renji declared in earnest, as if it was the truest thing he'd ever say. Byakuya, completely floored, sat patiently amongst the unexpected urgency. "Maybe she couldn't love you the same way, but that wasn't your fault, Byakuya. That was her own regrets she couldn't come to terms 've forgotten that your allowed to be a person." Gesturing around the room, Renji said, "This isn't all there is for you. So why do you always act as if it has to be one or the other? Can't you still be the scariest duty bound guy I know while also loving someone?" At Byakuya's visibly stunned expression, Renji concluded, "You're so use to being selfless, that you forget that sometimes it's okay to want things. Being a noble doesn't mean you're incapable or arn't allowed to love another soul."_

 _A drawn out silence filled the space as Byakuya wrestled with the words, finding himself stuck between recognizing their validity and the compulsion to denounce the idea as alway. At this point, Renji rumbled with light tremors. Byakuya could tell that either he was rather nervous or that he was boiling over from the passion he felt towards the subject. Renji was often agreeable in their time together, but usually confident, so he took it to be the latter. Either way, Byakuya didn't have it in him to devalue the words that were so obviously important to the man._

" _This isn't new or just Rukia's words either. For a long time," Renji pushed out, the zeal of his temperament bordering on anger with how imperative he sounded, "way before the Ichigo situation, I've wanted to say something, but I wanted to stand before you as an equal doing that, so maybe my words wouldn't fall on deft ears. Just-I, wha-" he paused, gathering his wits before starting over. "Your wife's rejection was not a reflection on the person you are, and spending your life running from that same pain will just leave you with more pain in the end. Selflessly living only for your clan because your afraid of wanting more, it's foolish." More confidently than Byakuya recalled ever seeing the man, Renji declared, "You, Byakuya, are foolish. That is what I've wanted to say for years now."_

 _The well intended criticism blew the man away as he sat listless. Not because he was insulted. On the contrary, it was quite the opposite. He felt ashamed. Before he could even fully understand why, he knew the words rang true. How pathetic he felt, being called out by the man he mentored and lead for years. Here he was, Byakuya Kuchiki, clan head, getting revelations from the vibrant haired man he had once called his underling. For all of his years and wisdom, it seemed he still had much to learn._

 _Denying what they both knew was true would only laminate him as stagnate and cowardice. That couldn't be the last lesson he gave this man. He didn't want to be someone's cautionary tail. Now looking out the window, his hard face holding only an ounce of sadness, Byakuya rasped, "You say I should allow him to love me, but one's temperament is not something simply surpassed. I've spent years cultivating being perfectly distant." Tilting his head down in humbleness, he said, "That man deserves much better than I fear I'll ever be able to give."_

 _The red head's next words had Byakuya looking up in a subtle show of surprise. "Than be better," he stated as if it was the most obvious thing. "That's what I did. I've loved Rukia for a long time. So I spent my days getting stronger, trying to surpass you, all for her. All so I could be worth her." Renji chuckled wistfully, shaking his head, "But ya' know what? What I didn't realize was that, to her, I was always worth it. Even when she didn't realize it. Just being myself, the guy who kick his own butt everyday to be the best person I could be for her, was plenty. I didn't need to be perfect or a captain or anything else, as long as we were growing together. That's was my own foolishness." Now pushing himself up from the chair he was sitting in, the man seemed much more breezy in disposition, as if the weight of the words he said had been crushing him. "I wasn't around for it personally, but I know Ichigo fell for you as you are. It's like what I said before about how it could be a good and bad thing and meeting in the middle. That part of you he loves is a double sided coin, the reason he can't get close to you, if you don't let it be." At his ex captain looking thoughtful at his hands folded on his lap, Renji smiled and said his last piece."You've changed a lot since he's came into our lives, without even having to try. The love of a good person does that. So, really, just being with him is half the battle to being to person you think he deserves." Turning his body to an angled right, prepping to leave, he concluded, "Don't make it harder than it has to be."_

 _As Renji passed through the archway, Byakuya's deep voice pulled him back. "I could not have chose a better husband for my sister."_

 _Turning with a gaped expression, Renji stuttered, "Wh-hat ya' say?"_

 _Perking and eyebrow, Byakuya said, "I will not repeat myself."_

 _That bewildered expression stretched into a wildly goofy smile that erupted with laughter. Turning to walk away, waving over his shoulder, Renji said, "Ah, baby steps, Byakuya, baby steps."_

 **xXx**

Sitting on the porch that overlooked his garden, Byakuya sighed at the sight of a sakura tree. Two years had passed since his moment of reckoning and now there were valid, tangible reasons for never being with Ichigo. There had always been something in their way: the laws, the elders, whole worlds, but mostly just himself. Now there is this, an unmovable wall in which Byakuya helped built. He missed his chance.

Over three years ago, Ichigo had started a romantic relationship with his lieutenant. Of course, they were rather discreet, and Rukia abstained from telling him for obvious reasons. If it wasn't for a gold week festival, he'd never had known. He'd been forced to attend so he could rub elbows with a few influential families and also represent his clan and their reverence for the festival and what it symbolized. A fire work spectacle was lighting up the sky and everyone stared captivated. Everyone except Byakuya, who was instead memorized by Ichigo glaring at the kido constructed explosives soaring across the sky in the shapes of in flight dragons. On a blanket, Ichigo sat alone with his knees bent and his elbows leaning against them for support. His lips were barely parted, and he had the most causal aw in his eyes. He looked unintentionally beautiful with that fiery spark he naturally had towards everything, even when he seemed aloof to the world around him.

He wore a yutaka, a fact Byakuya had almost wanted to laugh at. Even now, Byakuya would see the man around wearing human clothes from time to time, something Byakuya liked though never admitted to. Yet, after years of living in this world, it just became easier to adapt to their traditions. It brought back a memory of their first night together and the teasing comment a very drunk Ichigo made about his own yutaka, where he said Byakuya pulled off a dress better than most men. Watching the man watching the sky with such an unadulterated interest, his face lighting up with the gleams of reds and blues, Byakuya's chest filled with a familiar fuzziness.

He smiled breathlessly. All he wanted in that moment was to go over and return the taunt from all those years ago. If he knocked the man from his sightseeing with one lighthearted mocking comment, the surprised scowl that would be yielded could be such a heavenly reaction. His body decided to make it a reality before his brain could convince him other wise. He'd simply walk up from behind and say 'lovely dress''. A tiny part of himself hoped dearly that the man would invite him to sit. The idea of sharing in the magic of this moment sent waves of joy rippling through the noble.

As he approached, standing all of two yards away from the back of Ichigo, he hesitated momentarily. Byakuya knew if he thought about it, he'd spend the whole night glaring at the back side of Ichgio. Just once, he wanted to not think about anything else but what he wanted. Opening his mouth to speak, he fell short when Akira swooped in and sat, leaving zero space between the two. He handed Ichigo some food as the captain looked up to address him. When Akria laid his head on Ichigo's shoulder, Ichigo gave him an aslant glare and said something drowned out by the crackling combustion of the night. As he leaned into the crook of the man's neck, Akira's lips brushed his captain's skin. Ichigo arched his head down and kissed Akira softly, their lips lingering and their eyes set on each other for a few sweet seconds after their mouths parted. Akira said something unheard, and Ichigo bursted into a fit of laughter that Byakuya would have loved to hear if it wasn't drowned out by the night.

He stood there hidden by the crowd and their blustering festivities, feeling like a man who'd been stood up on his wedding day. Heartbreak, disappointment, and self loathing assaulted him all at once, making his limbs tingle from the emotional onslaught. Of course, Ichigo had found someone else. For him, seven years was nothing, but for Ichigo, who spent most of his life as a human, seven years was a whole life time. It was more than enough time passed to get over a fickle man who could never be true to himself. How arrogant he must have been to think he could just walk up to Ichigo as if nothing had ever transpired between them, and that he'd be blessed by that chuckle and smirk that was unique to young man. For his own absurdity, Byakuya was sure he deserved to see something so gut wrenching.

It felt like losing Ichigo all over again. The pain stung as freshly as the morning after their last time together. For the shortest of instances, Byakuya allowed his face to fix it's self into whatever sad, twisted expression it pleased, focusing only on his pain as he was protected by the blanket of tenebrosity. With one last look towards the rather peaceful appearing man, Byakuya's normal stoicism returned before he disappeared into the hoard of people. Being one unseen face of many, he allowed a tear to slide down his flint features.

A year later, after his and Renji's conversation, he resolved himself to confess, Akira or no Akira. He didn't know exactly what he expected to happen. There was hope, but it was only an iota, barely enough to supply the noble with the courage to ask Ichigo to be his. After what he realized, he knew his very last breath in this world would be one of rue if he didn't at least try. He never thought the answer would find him before he had the chance to present the question, especially in such a cruel way.

At a captain's meeting the next day, Byakuya found himself anxious and lacking patience. It had been his plan to approach Ichigo afterwards and invite him to dinner, wanting to talk about the possibility of them in a more comfortable and intimate setting. After all of the official business had been properly dealt with and orders delegated, the captain commander put on a goofy grin and announced that one of their own elite captains was engaged, a rarity among soul reapers. Before they could even find out who it was, everyone was already buzzing with the excitement of a wedding and speculative gossip. Some even going as far as to speak about what they wanted to wear or what type of ceremony it would be.

Byakuya gave a furtive glance towards Ichigo, who looked rather annoyed about the incessant hum of nosey chatter that consistently got louder. The captain commander, being the more mellow type, wasn't all to strict on these types of things unless it was a crucial matter. So he let this go on, eventually jumping in himself. That seemed to be the last straw for Ichigo when he pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned loudly. "Why don't you guys just plan my wedding for me since you're all so damn interested!"

Underestimating the effect his little outburst would have on the mob, he blushed and rubbed his neck as all eyes fell on him in the eerily silent room. "Um..ya know, If you want to beat my sisters out for it. They already have the whole thing planed in their heads, and I just told them last night."

Captain commander let out a swooping laugh, shoving Ichigo on the shoulder in a buoyant manner. He apologized, expressing to the meeting hall that a soul reaper who married another soul reaper must inform the captain commander of their intentions. There was actually a pretty strict law on the books about that. Thankfully, Akira knew about it. If they had left it up to Ichigo, no one would've known till the week of. None the less, the cheeky, liquor happy captain couldn't wait to fill in everyone on their 'little Ichigo-kun' engagement.

It wasn't that Ichigo didn't seem like the marrying type that sent everyone into a collective hive mind type stillness. It was more so the fact no one really knew just how close the two were. Together, yes, but it still seemed rushed. Other captains in the gotie had partners for centuries without ever tying the knot. Yet the commander's care free attitude seemed to be the jolt everyone needed to bring themselves out of their stupors. Soon there were spirited congratulations and questions that seemed to constantly run into each other swarming around him. Ichigo wore a face that Byakuya knew to be his uncomfortable grin, showing just how hard he was trying to hold it together and play nice before he decked someone in their jabbering mouth. There were some murmurs about how Ichigo must be seemingly moving fast because he's still in that 'human mind set.' They asked if he was having a traditional engagement diner and shinto weeding and about if Akira asked his dad for his hand. Ichigo responded as expected, saying 'he wasn't down with that old crap' before making some snarky comment about how the soul society really needed to leave the feudal stuff behind and keep up with the times. Jokes were made, yells were had, and Ichigo looked desperate for an extraction from his sometimes overly gregarious peers.

As for Byakuya, at first, he felt nothing. Or more likely, he felt everything, and it was just too much for his brain to compute into some emotion he could grasp onto. Everything seemed to fall away for the man. He just stood in a regal disposition, his attention fixed on the odd congregation in front of him. All the while his brain was just trying to keep up with the suddenness of it all and decide how it felt.

When Ichigo raked his fingers through his hair, Byakuya saw it. The argent engagement band situated on Ichigo's hand was catching the light and glinting in his direction. The shock morphed into a definitive panic that fought to overcome his all enduring composure.

That's when it felt like the floor fell from beneath him. He swallowed down a large gasp that tried to escape him without his permission. A large lump swelled in his throat, making Byakuya feel as if a hallow was chomping down on his windpipe. He, without even realizing it, touched his throat as if he was trying to remove the invisible vice grip. His body became torrid, swirling up to his chest until it felt like daggers were puncturing every organ he had. Unsure of why, he glanced over to Rukia - who was now the thirteen division's captain since the retirement of Jyuushiro - and Renji. It was a mistake, for the silent pleads of pity and apology made his eyes burn and dampen. That's when he closed his eyes, bowing his head to encumber his feelings from having a visible manifestation. He counted to five and inhaled deeply. When he opened his eyes, he was met with the unyielding glare of Ichigo that could only be described as serious.

That look kicked the last leg he had to stand on right from underneath him. At the feeling of his body crumbling, Byakuya turned gracefully and left the meeting hall. It was unheard of that he'd leave without a proper dismissal, but his pride came before his manners. Another second in there and he'd lose it, something he refused to do. Besides, most were to engaged in their giddy banter to even notice or to think much of it, if they did at all. Rukia and Renji did though, Renji storming off after his old captain as both Rukia and Ichigo looked off in concern.

Renji superimposed himself in between Byakuya and his path and began apologizing profusely, expressing he had no idea that Ichigo was even considering this. Knowing Renji wasn't a sick fuck who enjoyed mind games, Byakuya was inclined to believe him. None the less, he waved him off with his mask back in place. He was too drained to indulge the man's supplicating. Though the grip that nabbed him and the tear varnished eyes imploring wordlessly made the raven falter and listen to Renji's begging. The red head looked wrecked at the idea that Byakuya would once again revert to his ice tower, locking himself alway until his only companion was the pain he felt. He wanted Byakuya to know that just because things didn't work out with Ichigo, it didn't mean he shouldn't still open up and find solace in his friends and family.

The beseeching did little to put dents in the man's facade, and he wretched away before fleeing back to the Kuchiki manner. It took a while, but eventually Byakuya realized Renji had been right. Once he saw the blatant error of his ways and a loneliness he could no longer deny, he knew he couldn't just go back to being a complete shut in, nor did he want to. He craved some sort of human connection and decided it was time to be more present in the lives of the people he cared for. He like to think that, If Ichigo were there, he'd be disappointed in his sulking ways, and disappointing Ichigo would make him more disappointed in himself.

It was slow going. No one would call Byakuya mister personality by any means. At times, it hurt, but a whisper of a change was noticeable in the noble. He invested more time into the relationships he already had and became keen to the occasional social pleasantries and idle conversation that he'd never indulged before. It was a small win, a microorganism of a victory, but it was a start, and to the man's pleasure, he felt lighter. Not that the nobleman opened up emotionally often, if at all, but it all felt a bit easier when he finally leaned on the silent support that had always been there.

Weekly spars with Renji, frequent dinner dates with his sister, bi-weekly tea with his old senpia, Jyuushiro, that was how he spent his time. If he was in a particularly good mood, he'd even have the occasional game of flash tag with Yoruichi. He still couldn't beat her, by the way. The last year had been different, peaceful, and it made him almost forget why he'd always been so deliberately distant in the past. Still no amount of closeness seemed to truncate his love for Ichigo, but only made it sting less with their friendly distractions. Everyday he remembered feeling like the abandoned husband at the alter or the girl who waited in the rain for the boy who never came, and everyday, he remember it was his own irrationality that drenched him. He was sure he'd always be standing in the rain waiting for that beautiful boy, even if Byakuya knew he'd never come.

He didn't want to forget about Ichigo. Not that he could, but perhaps one day, it would hurt less. Maybe one day, as it did with Hisana, his love would dim to a warm fondness.

Byakuya had never been the type to look for love or gave much thought to it when he wasn't in it. As it was with Hisana and Ichigo, he didn't even know he wanted love until he felt it for them. In that regard, Byakuya was content with his low key yearning.

It was this line of thinking that brought upon the biggest change of the last year.

Like they had many times before, six months prior, the elders pushed for Byakuya to chose a wife for the purposes of producing an heir, and to their surprise, he didn't push back this time. In fact, he was rather agreeable. Before he would've fought tooth and nail for his right to be a sad, lonely man, living contently with his memories of Ichigo, but this time around, he couldn't see the point in such stubbornness. Though his feelings had not abated even a little, Ichigo would never be his, yet the world still continued to turn, and Byakuya had to turn with it. What would he gain from his persistent solitude anyway? He'd only fall as deep as he had with Hisana. Perhaps this whole situation gave him a new perspective, because he realized missing and loving Ichigo wasn't contingent on being miserable and cold. Byakuya could still feel severely for the other man while also walking forward, mending relationships, and building new ones along the way. He truly believed that's what Ichigo would've wanted, and a small part of him relished in doing things he knew would make Ichigo proud, even if the man never knew of those things.

As it was, Byakuya agreed to marry a young women named Ikeda Sana, the eldest daughter of an elite family within the soul society. Though they were not nobles, they were considered great allies to have and held much influence in the hierarchy. They'd picked the woman for mainly political reasons, a large scale trade pact that had been sucking up almost all of the nobleman's time. Which ironically was usually something he wouldn't complain about, but now he found it granting his nerves. Less time with stuffy elders the better.

Of course, he did not love Sana, since it was an arranged marriage. He barely knew her at all, seeing as he only saw her with their personal attendants present. In fact, usually she'd not be residing at the Kuchiki manner until after they were wedded, but the trouble of constant traveling and the energy needed for this pact agreement made them inclined to allow the Ikeda clan head, his daughter, Sana, and a had full of their personal attendants to reside in a separate wing. This had been a long time coming, and Byakuya saw little reason to fight against it now. One day, rather it a person of his choosing or not, he'd have to marry and bare an heir, and since he didn't think his love for Ichigo was just dissipating anytime in the near future, it was only rational that they'd pick someone for him. The person Byakuya would pick was already happily intertwined, and all he could do was move forward.

He thought, perhaps one day, he'd learn to love her. For he felt no affection towards her, but he was sure she'd be a wonderful mother to his child. He made sure of that before any final choses were made. The woman was intellectual, rather good at sword wielding, politically savvy, empathetic, and patient, while also being brass backed enough to hold her own against the obtuseness that often came with being a noble. Also, for what it was worth, she was rather beautiful. Though what he really enjoyed about the woman was her honest charisma.

Some muffled noises drew the man from his arduous thoughts running flagrant. Of late, he'd been thinking of Ichigo with even more unsolicited persistence. Usually he didn't mind the painful thoughts, because they were out shadowed by the fluttering he felt from their short lived moments together.

He knew why. After a strangely long amount of time, Ichigo's wedding was approaching. It would be held in two days to be exact. Even Byakuya received an invitation. Of course, he wasn't going. Not out of malice, but simply his own sanity. That seemed to be the theme of this year, punishing himself less, and seeing as watching Ichigo being married off would be akin to a slow and torturous whipping, he would have to pass. It was clear Ichigo did it out of some good part of himself, since it was impossible for the man do anything intentionally hurtful, yet it still stung with merciless cruelty. Hadn't Byakuya made it clear that he only belonged to Ichigo? What was a decade to the nobleman? Just spare time, not even a century close enough to make that affection any less absorbing. The man changed his whole life, his perspective, save his world and himself. He was the only person Byakuya wanted to be better for. So to send him an invitation like their friends - which their not - it seemed so presumptuous.

It was plain as day that the orange haired captain didn't love him anymore, and Byakuya held no contempt for that, but that didn't mean his heart had healed at the same rate. These feelings were not something gained nor taken lightly.

The Kuchiki garden was one of which you could get lost in. There were varying paths that all circled the circumference of the estate. Still heading the muffled noise, Byakuya took the trail of which he sensed a familiar spiritual pressure. He came to the estuary of an enclosure filled with vivaciously red camellia's that almost made you feel more alive in the presence of their boldness. In the furthest corner, Byakuya saw a slumped body crying over a small codfish filled oasis. Immediately, he recognized the person as Sana.

Hearing her cries, he instinctually started towards the woman, only to stop in a moment of indecisiveness. Both him and the woman had their pride in common, so it was safe to assume the woman didn't want him to know of her mental distress. It seemed she even ditched her private attendant at some point. However, the idea of letting his fiancé weep knowingly, not concerning himself with her over something as frivolous as pride, made him feel even more humbled. He still had so much to learn. You see, if he was in her position, he'd want the same thing, but seeing how sad that actually appeared from the other point of view, he realized it was no way to live ones life.

The voice of his conscious that always sounded a little like Ichigo's, told him he knew what to do. With that, he approached the woman. "Sana- san?" he spoke lightly.

The woman's back taunted as she quickly wiped away tears. She turned a head only slightly over her shoulder before pushing to get up. "I'm very sorry, I-"

Putting out a hand, the head Kuchiki sat down beside her in a lotus blossom fashion. "You're upset?" the man asked, though it seemed obvious.

Realizing it useless to lie, the woman huffed with a sad smile. "Please, do not mind me, Lord Kuchkik."

"You may call me Byakuya-San," he corrected flatly, yet while looking directly into the bright emerald eyes. "Such formalities should not be used between myself and my fiancé."

Biting her lip and glaring into her lap, the woman shook her head no a couple of times. "I don't deserve to use such intimate terms with you."

For a moment, he thought she meant that, because she was of lower status, she had no right to use his given name. Technically, from a hierarchy standing, she was of a lower class, but Byakuya never believed that a spouse was someone to be domineered over or to be made a lesser. No matter his personal feelings towards her, he wouldn't allow his future wife to be treated with any less respect than he would have given to Hisana or Ichigo. Yet he soon realized that was not what she meant, but it was her troubled thoughts that made her feel unworthy.

"If you insist on standing around watering the flowers with your tears, that is your own choice, but it will do you no good in the end," Byakuya pointed out candidly.

Almond eyes were gaped at the man with a scintillation of disbelief, wisps of her golden brow hair the only thing that disrupted the sight. As he began to wonder if he'd been too harsh, the woman's nose crinkled in amusement, and she began to laugh heartily. Demurely, she lifted a hand over her mouth to muffle the erupting laughter, but the sound still came all the same. Now her eyes were watering again, this time from the humor she found in the man's words. Through giggles, she said, "Oi, you're really bad at comforting people."

Though taken aback by the woman's mirth, his face betrayed nothing. Glowering, he agreed, "I suppose it is not my best skill."

Taking a big breath as her laughter died down, the woman smiled brightly at the noble. "It's okay, _Byakuya-san_. I can see through your obtuseness. You mean well, I know."

No one had ever called the nobleman obtuse, and much to his surprise, he couldn't find it in himself to be mad at the comment. "It's the intentions that are in your heart that matter," the woman poised. "You are different than how the rumors depicted you. I can tell you'll be very fun to tease."

A barely non existent smile tugged at the man's lips. He actually liked the sound of that. "I'm sorry to have disappointed those who speak so badly of me," Byakuya deadpanned.

Lazily running her fingers over a near by flower, Sana jested, "If you would like, I can inform them that you are an icy man whom looks at me with daggers in his eyes. I wouldn't want to sully your reputation."

It hadn't even occurred to him how easily Sana had deflected his worries. She truly was a bright mind who's strong personality could get her many things. Still it was not something Byakuya would simply lay to rest. "Sana-san," he asked gently, "do you often cry here?"

Instantly, the woman became noticeably more unsettled. She put on a sad little smile and shook her head. "Of course not. A lady of my standing is much to busy for that. No. I do most of my crying at the little garden outside of my personal living quarters." The word's were meant to lighten the mood, but held a sad truth to them. It occurred to the nobleman how put off she was by the idea of him knowing what plagued her. Even a candor woman like Sana had her own walls. No one lived this life of high society without hardening themselves to some extent. So he couldn't say he didn't understand her apprehension, seeing as no trust had been built up between them. "I suppose I wanted a change of scenery. The intensity of these flowers interest me."

Giving a cursory glance around the garden, Byakuya said, "Yes, they do evoke emotion. Sana-san, may I ask why you won't tell me what is troubling you?"

The nobleman's deep baritone was soothing and kind, but the woman had spent her life surrounded by men with the same tonality and claims of comfort, all of whom were only trying to abuse her trust for their benefit. "I-I feel as if you'll be angry at what I find myself crying over."

Lithe fingers just barely sat upon her shoulder and were paired by slate grey eyes of sincerity staring at her deeply. "I would not be angry at you for having feelings. I understand your apprehension, considering we've known each other for such a short time, but I'm more empathetic than those rumors depicted me as. Trust that I understand your transition from one life to another is not easy, and I do not hold that against you." Regaining some of that taciturn tonality, Byakuya all but commanded, "Now, tell me, what is bothering you?"

Looking off wistfully into the coral sky, her posture lost some of that elegant decorum, the weight of her dolor baring down on her body. "..I miss someone..very much.." Her words were airy, the voice ladled with the weariness of her strong emotions. The twinkle of affection in her eyes, the breathlessness in her lungs, the hopeless resigned sadness in her disposition, Byakuya understood immediately.

"Sana-san," he inquired, "are you in love with someone?"

She visibly gulped before twisting the top half of her body to face Byakuya. Putting her palms flat on the ground, she shut her lids and bowed her head lowly. "Please forgive me, Byakuya-San. Do not think that I am not grateful."

To her surprise, soft finger pads pulled on her chin gingerly and tilted her head upwards to look into the eyes of her fiancé. It was odd, really. For the nobleman had this reserved allure that surly made him unintentionally sensual. Yet these feathery touches seemed to be lacking any ill intent or personal gain. They did not perturb her with lustful motives, but comforted her greatly. "Would you like to know a secret of mine for a show of good trust?" Taking the woman's silence as consent, he confessed, "I too am in love with someone, someone I also can not be with now." Sana's face widening in mystified shock had the nobleman smirking at the reaction. Only briefly however, as he frowned and removed his touch when he saw the tears building up in her piercing green orbs and sliding down her pearly cheeks.

"It was not my intention to upset you."

Looking at the man intently, she blinked those dewy eyes at him a few times, the diamond like tears catching in her long eyelashes. "No. It's just this world can be so ironically cruel sometimes, don't you agree?" She looked up to him with earnest empathy. "It makes me worry for the people who have less than us. With all of our privileges, the two of us still end up with such a pitiful situation. It makes me weep sometimes, the thought of how many others feel this pain and worse."

Byakuya graced the woman with a smile. This was the reason he picked Sana, the intensity of which she felt everyone else's emotions as her own. It reminded him of his Ichigo in many ways. "I'd like to think that while those with less may have the struggle of a turbulent life, for their troubles, they are allotted the freedom to live and love in the ways they want. Such as the way we noblemen often trade off our personal freedoms and desirers for the lofty lives of comfort we live. Everything in the world has balance. In a way, it is a comforting thought. "

Smiling softly, Sana returned to her regal stature beside the man. "I also like to think that. Something about it seems rather positive." Wiping her eyes, she said, "I must look a mess, crying so freely."

Tempestuously, Byakuya instructed, "Tell me about this person."

Immediately Sana reverted back to her abashed and apprehensive state, tugging her lip at the question.

"Will this be a common occurrence, having to reassure you every time I want you to divulge something personal?" Byakuya asked, his tone bordering on playful.

"Of course not!" The woman huffed, crossing her arms around her bosom with a slight pout. "I'm a proud woman. I don't need constant reassurance. It's just.." her voice trailed, "ours was not a conventional relationship." At her fiancé intrigued face, she felt a strong impulse that he'd not judge her in the way she once feared. "At my old home, I had a personal attendant that I loved dearly. They were not granted to come with me here because the elders wanted a more seasoned attendant for my stay." Hesitating only slightly, she explained, "Her name is Etsu."

"I see," Byakuya noted, lacking any judgment or misgivings. "Your voice melts at just the sound of her name, so she must be rather special to you."

Sana nodded, inwardly elated at Byakuya's unfazed way of speech. He spoke to her as if her love was like everyone else's and not the anomaly that it was to most people within high society. There were no words for the gratitude she felt towards him in that moment. "She is the untamable sun. Even while working for our family, she's so free." She giggled heartwarmingly. "I'd tease her and call her my little red bird. People would consider her a mutt, but all I saw was fierce beauty. Her crimson red curls and stark teal eyes, her soft coco skin, she is.." the woman brought finger tips to her lips, brushing them as if remembering something integral, "striking. There was a time where I wanted to run away with her in the Rukongai, but she would not have it. She knew we'd be without money and most likely be living in squaller, that is if we weren't detected and found by my clan. She would have rather lost us than endangered me. Silly girl, underestimating me like that."

Byakuya had never done this, watched someone as they talked freely about the person they loved. It was as beautiful as the sakura tree's that filled the garden, and he scrupulously noted the way she gained this otherworldly gleam as she spoke with absent mind, so lost to the memory of her beloved with an ardor one does not see often in this life.

She seemed to finally realize what exactly she was saying and who she was saying it too, causing her to blush and shake her head. "I too like men..I mean, I- well, enough to-" now beat red, Byakuya bit back a smile. She sighed, and in a very blunt manner, she clarified, "What I'm saying is, I suppose it's true I have an inclination towards the same sex, but that was never my reason for loving Etsu. She was the first thing I could have just because I wanted her, not because she was forced upon me. I know we are expected to produce an heir, and I wasn't trying to insult you by implying - I," the blush retuned with a vengeance, "I mean, you're an extremely handsome man, and I'm sure the experience will be, um, ah-"

Now Byakuya was seriously trying to hold back his amusement for fear he'd traumatize the woman further. Holding up a hand, he cut the woman off before she rambled herself into a heat stroke. "You're right, that is expected of us. However, it's not an issue that you'll have to concern yourself with for a while. You have not insulted me." Giving the woman an aslant glance, Byakuya asked, "Would you like for me to tell you another secret?"

Sana had taken up a more relaxed position with her knees pulled to her chest and her chin resting atop her arms slung on the clad caps. "My, you really want to tell me another secret? It is unlike a noble to be so unguarded."

"I was only trying to offer a diversion from that eloquent speech you delivered," Byakuya reasoned, his no nonsense tone and face not matching the playful intent of the words.

Though Sana got it, gigging at the man beside her. "You're a kind man, Byakuya-san," she smirked. "Is it the person your in love with that you wish to tell me about? If so, then I am all ears."

Byakuya nodded, looking forward into the dimming horizon as he spoke. "His name is Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo."

A swift gamesome back hand hitting his shoulder took the nobleman by surprise. "No way!" The woman expressed, lighting up with gleeful disbelief. "The savior of the soul society, nei, the entirety of our universe, Ichigo Kurosaki?! Absolutely no way."

Byakuya took note of how easily he had been able to get her to relax all by being honest and open about himself. With this new perspective of his, it seemed the discoveries were endless. Admittedly, he was enjoying it immensely. Once again, he only addressed her with a rather aloof sideways glance. "Yes. Very way," Byakuya confirmed dryly.

Now Sana was particular giddy, practically jiving in her spot with verve. "I see this pleases you," Byakuya noted.

Smiling brilliantly, Sana said, "I'm just thinking about how riveting and fun life can be sometimes. In these severe lives we live, it's refreshing to have something so off happen. This is never a conversation Id imagine having with you in a million years, which makes it all the better." She stared off thoughtfully, the smile melting from her face a little with each passing second, leaving her with a tiny frown. "Does it ever bother you? This life where we have to sacrifice huge chunks of ourselves all to appease the outdated traditions that seem to have no reason, does it ever get tiring? I was bread from birth to be a possible wife of a noble, yet my interest always lead me in other directions. There are many girls who truly wanted that, so I could never understand why letting me use my skills to aid our clan in other ways was so big of an ordeal. Sometimes I wondered if all of the sacrifices I made were for any reason other than helping my clan continue in their misguided ways. I truly wanted to be an ambassador for our clan, but I was no more than wife material." Giving a desolate sigh, she looked at the man woefully. "Was it wrong of me to want to be more? Does everything have to have balance? Who made these rules that you can't have both?"

Byakuya closed his eyes as a wafting sensation of pain and empathy filled his chest. They'd both been birds in gilded cages, only Byakuya's cage had been open for a long time. He'd always had more reign over his life than he'd admit to. Perhaps not as a child, but as the family head, he was able to follow his desires such as the way he married Hisana. He could've had Ichigo, but he sat in his cage, to scared and duty bound to fly free. Sana however, her cage was bolted shut. As the daughter of a family head, she had little say or voice in the choices made for her, much like Byakuya had little say when he was an heir. Yet she still dreamed so big as she watched the chaotic world spin from the confines that held her. He thought, though it may amount to very little, as her husband, he would never attempt to hold her back. She would no longer belong to her clan, but be an official member of the Kuchiki family. She was a bright, capable woman, and he'd always make sure to value her opinions and the things she wanted. Still he knew this was not the freedom she so desired, but what more could he do?

"No. The things we desire tell us of the people we are," Byakuya spoke softly. "One must understand their heart to live fully. I once broke the rules to marry my wife, Hisana, and I would never change my actions. It was the only thing I had ever done for myself. For a long time, too long, after her passing, I would have answer your question differently, but Ichigo's force of will showed me the error of ways."

"I want to hear about him, if you don't mind. Of course, everyone speaks of him, but I'd like to see him through the eyes of the man who loves him."

"Everyone loves Ichigo, Sana-san. It's just this way he has about him," the nobleman sighed wistfully.

"Ah, but Kurosaki-san does not love everyone back," she pointed out. "Most people know him for what he did for our homeland, as this superhero of sorts, but few people know his heart or the parts of him that make him more than just a savior."

Byakuya looked up thoughtfully, wondering how one would sum up Kurosaki Ichigo. "Ichigo is like a punch to the face," he said with a hint of a smile .

Smirking, Sana marveled, "I'm fascinated already."

"He is audacious and hot headed, obstinate and completely loyal. It is not his endless amount of spiritual energy that makes him such a spectacle, but how unabated his resolve is to do what he believes is right. More that that, he was my blinding light of truth." He caught himself smiling at the thought and his voice became more gravely with desire. "How he would frustrated me so. I would often tell him his place was not here, because I could not accept the things he woke up inside of me. He is the only person who has challenged me since Hisana, who can make me truly reevaluate my harsh ways. In many aspects, we are alike. The protection of others and the tenacity of our beliefs comprise us. We both have our pride and our veeners. He often wore a scowl, or he would force himself to appear happy in fear of burdening his loved ones. However, he bares scars that are soul deep and carries his sword with a certain loneliness that is barely touchable. Yet he is perfectly straight forward and honest when it comes to something he is passionate about, rather that be a person or an experience." Byakuya's face settled sightly and his eye's glimmered with sadness. "He is so many things.."

When he looked over to Sana, she was giving him such a sentimental grin. "What?" he asked.

"You're the most beautiful when you talk about him, Bya-kun."

"…do not call me that," he tutted.

This just made Sana let out a resounding laugh. "I'm sorry. You were just so cute, I couldn't help it!" she exclaimed, swaying breezily. "So if you feel so strongly, why is it not him sitting here instead of I?"

Pointing out into the distance, he looked upon the top of a barely visible sakura tree. "Our love was like that of a sakura blossom: entrancingly fast blooming, sadly transitory, and humbling in it's existence."

"But Byakuya-san," the woman observed, "sakura's always bloom again."

Frankly, he made clear, "I was a coward. I became so habituated to only giving and never wanting for anything, that I only found fear when I met him. Relenting to the anguish of being completely selfless for the sake of my clan's traditions was easier than walking towards his flame. Hope, wanting, these are the things I fear, not hollows and battles. So I pushed him away, right into the arms of another man, and I have no one to blame but myself."

Despite his attempts at an unbothered voice and regal expression, that he'd been taught to hold since his childhood, Sana could see all the underlying trepidation. "So he's the one that got away, huh? Well why did you never tell him? It seems you are rather regretful in your choice, and Kuchiki Byakuya does not seem like the type of man to give up on something once he's decided it's worth the pursuit."

Nodding his head to signify she was right, he said, "As I said, he is in love with another man. It would do me little good. I've accepted that I have missed my chance."

"Hmm," the woman pondered, "but how do you know this? Perhaps he loves this man, but perhaps he loves you too, even more. Let me ask you this, Byakuya-san, you still love Hisana-san, at least a part of you, correct?" At the man nodding apprehensively, she continued, "And what would you do if you woke up tomorrow and she was alive again?"

Byakuya netted his brow. He didn't like the question. It felt as if he had to pit his love for Hisana and Ichigo against each other when that just wasn't fair. His fiancé seemed to notice the hesitation in his eyes, prompting her to clarify. "It's a simple question, Byakuya-san. Just forget about all the other complications. Think about it as if there was nothing else holding you back. How would it make you _feel_?"

As Byakuya stirred on the idea of what would become of him if such an impossibility was to occur, his chest seemed to burst with warmness and his breath hitched in his throat. "..It's unfathomable. I'd embrace her and never let go, as if I could take away all the pain and regret she had in her life. I'd enjoy the pure felicity of just being in her comforting presence."

"Exactly," Sana stressed. "You see, when you truly love someone, rather it be a year or a century, they never truly leave your heart. As time goes on, one must fill their heart with the love of others to still live a full life. Hisana-san died, and she is not here to feed that love. You've fallen in love again, yet the part of you that loves her isn't smaller, just…less potent. It carries less mass. Though, as you just saw, when you thought of her being alive again, able to give to that love, the part of your soul that houses her memory grew heavier. Perhaps not as heavily as the part of your soul that houses Ichigo's memory, but none the less, it did." Smiling at man, she concluded, "In that regard, Kurosaki-san, if he truly loved you, then I do believe he always will, but you walked away from him. So naturally, unless he wanted to drown in the pain that was his love for you, he had to walk forward and love again. The memories may fade, but the way they affected your soul will not."

He knew Sana was right. Thats why the pain of losing Ichigo had subsided some ever since he allowed his friends and family more reign over his heart. "You are wise, Sana-san."

"I know," she chuckled.

"Though, as it is, he is engaged, and if you do not recall, so am I. These thoughts are frivolous."

Sana shrugged a shoulder. "Perhaps. Though I am a romantic at heart, and It does me good to be hopeful that things turn out for the best." To the noble's surprise, the woman lifted his arm, tugged it around her, and situated her head on his shoulder. He had to stop himself from looking around the area for signs of Sana's personal attendant. For this type of premarital fraternizing was not allowed despite the fact there was nothing remotely sexual about these soft touches or tender moments. "You may think about this how you want, Byakuya-san. Consider it friendly touches or maybe the inception of more, I just enjoy the comfort of being understood."

Byakuya smiled subtly. "Thank you for your permission," he taunted, to which the woman lifted her face and stuck out her tongue at him much in the way a playful child would.

After a few fleeting moments of silence, Sana spoke again. "We will be alright. Perhaps this is not ideal for either of us, but I feel as if no matter where this leads us, I've found a true and trustworthy friend. If this is the way it must be, then I'm happy it is with a man as yourself, Byakuya Kuchiki."

' _But you shouldn't have to settle for second best, Sana,'_ Byakuya thought woefully. The beautifully charming woman's whole self had been constructed to be nothing more than the trophy of a nobleman. Surely it was an important role and even a privilege, but not one that should be forced. As she said, there were many other woman who would've desired this with a full heart. She had to give up every part of herself that made her unique, and for what? The comfort of old men and the silly traditions that they held? For the comfort of old men who had rather seen her dead than taking a single breath for herself. The nobleman's soul raged against the notion.

' _No, this simply won't do.'_

 **xXx**

In the thickness of nightfall, Sana was woke in a fright. Over her stood one of Byakuya Kuchiki's most loyal attendants shaking her shoulder lightly. "My lady, please wake. We must hurry."

Snapping up quickly and with no regard for regal grace, Sana's body arched in a defensive stance. Seeing the concern in her eye, the attendant smiled softly and took no time in explaining himself. "Please do not be afraid. Lord Kuchiki has told me to retrieve you. He told me that he will explain everything shortly and you must trust him enough to comply. I've already laid out some fresh clothes and have packed a bag for my lady, you need only dress."

The woman blinked a few times in surprise before shaking her head. "Of course, I trust Byakuya-san," she said, raising herself from the futon.

"Wonderful. Now, I shall be waiting outside of your quarters, but time is of the essences. We must move swiftly and silently." With a nod of the head, the attendant left and allowed for the woman to prepare. She dressed in a royal purple hakama that fit like trousers and were usually worn for horse back riding over a simple red and black patterned kimono. Within minuets, she left the confines of her room to find a patiently waiting attendant with a nap sack in hand. Only regarding her with a silent nod of the head, she followed him down the moonlight lit corridors in dubious concern. None the less, she trusted Byakuya, and followed while keeping in mind the need for expeditious secrecy.

They only came to a halt once they were standing on the steps of the Kuchiki estate that lead to the large kido guarded gates. The attendant took a brief moment to regard the darkness veiled figures stooped in waiting near the bottom of the pathway. As they walked toward the two, Sana identified the individuals as Byakuya and a dark skin, purpled haired woman she'd never seen before. Walking up to the two, she looked up to Byakuya with confusion in her eyes. "What is this all about, Byakuya-aan?"

With no words, Byakuya smiled subtly before both he and Yoruichi stepped to the side and revealed a third person. At the familiar mound of crimson ringlets and piercing green eyes, Sana gasped, her eyes immediately drowning in tears.

The red head giggled, smiling at the woman. Holding out her arms, she said, "I think this is the first time I've seen you without words, my love."

Crying helplessly, Sana ran into the woman's awaiting embrace and kissed her deeply. Without shame, all of her wanton pressed into the lips of her lover as she fought to catch her breath through the intensity of tears. "My little red bird," Sana rasped, running the pad of her thumb over the blushed cheek of the other. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Now where has my eternally hopefully Sana gone?" She then kissed the other's forehead, her lips curling at he pressure.

"I like a happy reunion as much as the next gal," Yoruichi interrupt, "but this is kind've a time critical mission."

Sana turned promptly at that, waffling her baffled gaze between the two. "But what's going on? …How…and why?"

"My comrade here is the ex Captain of the stealth squad, and she was easily able to retrieve Etsu-san from your family home. She rode through our gate in a delivery carriage, so the guards were none the wiser. As for the why, it's rather simple, Sana-san. I''m opening your cage, giving you the freedom you deserve." Nodding towards Etsu, he said, "While also diminishing the concerns about living a dangerous life." Now turning towards his attendant, who had left and then returned again with an ebony stallion draped with the nap sack and two cloaks, Byakuya took the garments and bag and handed them over to a shell shocked Sana. "In this bag is more than enough currency and supplies to get you started. I've already procured a home for you in the fifth district. There I have some connections to influential people whom will be able to help you start a life. They'll be waiting for you when you cross into the edge of the district. You'll have plenty of opportunities and aid to use your skills in whatever fashion you please."

Now stepping up, Yoruichi took both girl's wrist and placed a silver bangle with a sapphire stone on each. "These are suppressors. This way, no one will be able to find you based on your spiritual pressure."

Looking from her dainty wrist and up to the beauty in front of her, Sana asked, "Beg your pardon, who are you?"

"Shihoin Yoruichi at your service," the woman greeted, winking at the other.

Gaping, Sana bowed her head deeply in regret. "Please forgive me. I knew not whom I was speaking to. You belong to the Shihoin clan of high nobles."

Byakuya scoffed. "You need not wast such formalities on this one."

With a roll of the eyes, Yoruichi said, "Yeah, I'm kind've a run away myself, and I'm not nearly as stuffy as my old friend over here. He needs friends like me though, the type he can call in the middle of the night to help him complete his rebellious plans."

Taking the reigns of the horse, Byakuya walked the creature closer to Sana. "You do know how to ride well, right Sana-san?"

Nodding, she confirmed, "The best in my house."

"Right. Yoruichi will be putting my guards out with a light kido before you leave through these gates. Now, time is of the essences. Lets hurry."

Still stupefied by the suddenness of it all, Sana's mouth grappled for words before she asked, "But what will you tell your family? What will you tell _my_ family?"

With an air of authority that told her to drop the subject, Byakuya said, "That is of no concern of yours. Do not worry."

With arms crossed and chin pointed, an extremely miffed Sana declared, "Now you listen to me, Kuchiki Byakuya. As grateful as I am for this, I'm not going anywhere until you explain to me exactly what you're going to tell the elders. I care all to much for your well being to just leave without any knowledge".

At Byakuya's faltered expression, Yoruichi was curled over in laughter. Slapping the nobleman on the back, she asked, "Are you sure you wish to let this one go? You need more stubborn women in your life."

Giving her an annoyed glare, Byakuya said, "You are stubborn enough for ten woman, Yoruichi-san." Realizing that his domineering assertion had no effect on the tiny woman before him, and that he would save more time by just explaining, he caved rather easily. "I have came up with a story that I shall tell our families. I'll explain that we snuck away and were strolling through the edges of the districts when some slavers snuck behind us and knocked me unconscious, stealing you away. After you leave, Yoruichi-san and myself will go to the area, so I can leave behind energy trails. She shall mimic the wound, making it seem believable."

"Byakuya's very adept at noticing fluctuations in spiritual energy, so there will be a lot of suspicion with this story, but that's all it'll be, suspicion," Yoruichi pointed out. "And this way, they'll be looking for you in the lower districts, seeing as there is no slavery within the first twenty districts."

"But Byakuya-san!" the woman implored, "You'll get in trouble for breaking the rules!"

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Byakuya asked. "Do not underestimate what I'm capable of dealing with. A few withered old men shall not encumber me. Now, we've spent enough time chatting. It's time for you to take your leave."

Sana seemed to wrestle with this for a moment, all the conflict shinning through her big green eyes. Suddenly, she ran to Byakuya and wrapped her arms around him in a tight lock. "Thank you," she whispered, squeezing the man a little tighter.

Letting a hand rest gently on her upper back, Byakuya reassured, "You need not thank me."

Looking up to the man with misty eyes, she said, "I only wish this wasn't good bye. You've been such a good friend to me, Byakuya-san."

"Some people come into our lives for only a moment to help us get to the next phase. I came into yours to give you some of the freedom I never made use of myself." Gesturing a hand out, he commanded, "You will leave at once."

After one more sad little smile, Sana conceded. "I will not let this second chance go to waste, Byakuya-san." With that, she perched her self upon the horse. Etsu stopped in front of the noble and Yoruichi to bow deeply. "My gratitude is ineffable. Thank you both so, so very much."

Byakuya smiled subtly at the girl and nodded, recognizing her appreciation.

"One more thing," Yoruichi halted, fishing three tiny spheres from her pocket. "These hold a high dose of sleeping kido. When you arrive at the gate that separates the capital and the districts, you'll come upon the gate keepers. Do not stop, just keep going, but when you get within throwing range, hoist the balls in their direction and they'll fall sleep immediately. Make sure to hold your breath when you throw the spheres."

Now donned in their Kuchiki crested cloaks, the girls were off. Sana only looked back once as she galloped away. Over her shoulder, she yelled, "I will never forget you, Byakuya Kuchiki."

Both Byakuya and Yoruichi stood side by side watching the girls disappeared into the cover of night. Byakuya could practically feel the smug smile on his friends face. "Breath a word of this and it shall be your last," Byakuya threatened.

Yoruichi just laughed and shook her head. "I wouldn't dream of it. Come on, we have a crime scene to fake."

Meanwhile, near the third division training ground, Akira and Ichigo strolled. Both were blood and sweat drenched, their loquacious chatter fueled by the adrenaline pumping fiercely through them. "I think I just found another thing I like about you, you can make Renji cry," Ichigo smirked, wiping some sweat off his face with the flap of his kosode.

Akria snorted, nudging Ichigo playfully. "That's not too challenging."

"I think you hurt his pride, being beaten by a lieutenant even while using banki." The captain couldn't help but to snicker. "Now I'll have to listen to that pineapple moan and complain all week. Just watch, he'll be back for a rematch in a weeks time."

"He surly beats me out in brute force and muscle. I really didn't do much," he poised and shrugged a shoulder. "I just let the big ol' ape tucker himself out and then overpowered him with kido. Not knowing kido is the downfall of a great soul reaper. Of course, I may be a little bias, seeing as it is my mastery."

"Huh, if that's your logic, maybe you should go ask Kenpachi for a spar."

With a mocking laugh, Akira asked, "Are you crazy? If you want to break up with me, there are better ways to do it than sending me off to my death, Ichigo."

"Nah, I want to wait until after were married. That way I can inherit that vast wealth of yours," Ichigo jested sarcastically.

Smiling at his partner, Akira teased in return, "My book collection and banzai tree are all your's, love." After a brief pause, he asked, "Speaking of Kenpachi, how was your spar with him earlier?"

Once drawn from his thoughts, Ichigo looked up at Akira with questioning eyes. "Huh?"

"The spar with Kenpachi, how did it go?"

Shortly, Ichigo responded, "Good."

Akira thought that shortness was different from his usual heated rant he'd have after those two went at it. "It must've been. You didn't come back with a scratch on you, when normally you come home needing to be put back together and dripping blood everywhere."

A little too quickly, Ichigo excused, "My heart wasn't really into it, so I just pulled out some kido. He got pissed I was fighting like that and refused to spar me."

It wasn't too believable, considering Ichgio wasn't the type of man to fight in the first place if he didn't want to, but Akira seemed to accept the answer, much to Ichigo's joy. He didn't like lying to the man, but Akira wouldn't understand. Honestly, Ichigo wouldn't blame him, but he didn't feel like having an argument they've had dozens of times.

Truthfully, he was at a spar, just not his own. Often he found himself watching Renji and Byakuya's weekly bouts from atop a veiled cliff side near the sixth division. While it was a common occurrence for other soul reapers to be present for the battle, Ichigo felt as if he could only admire the fight as he did with all things Byakuya related, from afar. Byakuya moved with a mastery and allure that made him hard to not admire, and Ichigo reveled in the idea of sparing the man again. Yet the two seemed to have this unspoken agreement of keeping distance at all cost.

Ichigo outranked everyone in spiritual pressure and quantity of abilities, yet it seemed Byakuya was a master of it all. The man trained vigorously, and it showed in his weekly spars. He'd recently been working on moving his blossoms with the direction of his eyes instead of his hands. More often than not, he tried to win battles in less conventional ways. What Ichigo enjoyed the most was the man's tactical and cunning nature, able to win a battle without even getting close to his power limits. Renji once told him that ever since the night Ichigo got his powers back and Byakuya cut himself with his own blade, he'd been challenging himself. He'd been training his mind to work fast and shrewdly, earning the ability to adapt quickly, rarely using his banki at all. Ichigo felt as if Byakuya could teach him so much with his intellect and pure experience just through sparing.

So he went and watched, studying the warrior's dance. He couldn't tell Akira or anyone for that matter, since he seemed to never hear the end of it when it came to Byakuya or his relationship with Akira.

 **xXx**

" _Ichigo!" Rukia stormed in, slamming the captain's door._

 _Standing abruptly, Ichigo yelled, "What the hell did you do that for?! I don't come to your office screaming and slamming stuff like a maniac."_

 _Within an instant, the girl flash stepped over and back handed the man on the side of his head. "Moron! Why did you send Nii-sama a wedding invitation?"_

" _Is that what this is about?" he barked, rubbing his head and taking a seat. "Why wouldn't I?"_

"… _.Is that a joke or are you truly that oblivious?" the woman groaned. "Have you even talked to him in the last DECADE?"_

 _Looking away awkwardly, Ichigo said, "Yeah..urm..a few times."_

" _Outside of work reasons?"_

 _Ichigo sighed. "Your point?"_

" _My point is, just because you've move on doesn't mean he has. Or have you forgotten the hairpins? Doesn't it feel a little bit like rubbing it in his face?"_

" _That wasn't my intention!" Ichigo exclaimed in earnest. "I just.." he bit his lip slightly before craning his head back in exasperation. "I never wanted him out of my life completely…I- well I just miss the guy. Is that a crime?"_

 _Rukia blinked a few times at the confession, though it wasn't really news. It was more of a surprise that Ichigo said it out loud, but she knew her best friend. It had always been blindingly obvious that he missed her bother. "Ichigo," she scrunched her eyebrows at the man scrupulously, "are you..waiting on Nii-sama?"_

" _What are you talking about!?" Ichigo gaped, "What do you mean 'waiting'?"_

" _Well..you've been engaged for two years, which is pretty odd considering how quickly you two became engaged. It's always been you putting it off, not Akira. You stare at Nii-sama with this challenging aura and now with this invitation, maybe you've been hoping it would make Byakuya change his mind."_

" _You think I'm marrying Akira just so Byakuya can call my bluff! Are you insane?" Ichigo all but yelled, really not needing Akira listening in on this conversation. "First I'm getting engaged too soon and then we don't marry soon enough, does anything please you people?"_

" _Couldn't it be possible that you said yes because, yeah, you like him, but maybe just a little part of you was hoping Byakuya would realize he was losing you and stop you? Not on purpose, but maybe subconsciou -"_

" _I LOVE AKIRA!" Ichigo justified, "Do you really think I'm the kind've man who makes that commitment lightly?"_

 _All to calmly for her normal temperament, Rukia said, "That's the thing, I don't. I think maybe you love him, but not in the way you think you do." Walking a little bit closer to the scowling man who's cardinal face was giving Renji's hair a run for it's money, she continued, "You were young when you came here with virtually no relationship experience. You've only loved one other person. Ichigo, love is a thing that can take a life time to understand. It's complicated and messy, and you're just green to it all. Maybe you should consider not being rash for once in your life and take time to think this out!"_

" _I have thought it out, Rukia," he spat defensively. "I never wanted to talk about Byakuya to you or Renji, because I hated thinking I was putting you two in an awkward place. Akira was there. I could talk to him without worrying about all the complications, and he became one of my best friends. Before I knew it, we were spending most of our time together. Being captain and lieutenant sure didn't help that at all. We could laugh together, understand each other, things were just easy for seven years, and when he kissed me one night, it just seemed like the natural progression of things. I went with it. I care about him and enjoy my time with him."_

" _But Ichigo, that's the thing, being in love with someone isn't just 'going with it.' That's the definition of settling." Walking closer and giving the man a pointed look, she asked, "Did you even once think of him in a romantic way before he kissed you that night?"_

 _This seemed to make Ichigo lose just a bit of that steam, yet he was still snarling and shaking his head, thinking of the right words. "You're the one who said that the next person I loved would be different. So what if it doesn't feel exactly the same as it did with Byakuya?"_

" _That not what I mean whe-"_

" _I can't stand around waiting for something that's never going happen! I love Akria, it's just a little different. I'm not talking about this anymore," he stated definitively._

 _Rukia bit her tongue, holding back the one confession that might put an end to this whole mess. Byakuya told her under absolutely no circumstances was she to tell Ichigo about Byakuya still wanting to be with him, and she had little choice but to comply out of respect. If she knew Ichigo, he'd marry Akira out of pride and loyalty anyway. He'd probably say something about how Byakuya missed his chance or to little too late, knowing full well he'd regret it if he didn't go to the other man. It was two of the most stubborn, pig headed men she was dealing with, and Rukia found another reason she was glad she married Renji._

" _Now if you're done judging my love life, I have some work to do," Ichigo huffed bitterly._

 **xXx**

"But, ya know, I'm glad you didn't get beat up," Akira said, pulling at the man's arm and snagging him from the memory. Using Ichigo's confusion in his favor, he pushed his captain against a near by tree and trailed sloppy kisses across his bare chest, taking time to grind his knee into the other's loins. "That mean's you have enough energy to do this," he purred, dipping his tongue into the indention of Ichigo's collar bone.

"Akira," Ichigo panted, heating up from the laps of the warm tongue, "you can't even wait until we get back to the barracks? Geez, whats wrong with you?"

Nippling at Ichigo's blushed earlobe while using one hand to play with a pert nipple through fabric, Akira husked, "Can't I just be excited that I'm marrying you the day after tomorrow." Biting down on the crook of Ichigo's neck, he mumbled, "I want to show you just how excited I am."

Ichigo's cock twitched against the leg kneading his erection. "Yeah, but how do you explain all the other times?" Ichigo smirked.

With his own matching grin pressed up against the pulsating neck of Ichigo, Akria taunted, "I'm not a stick in the mud. Perhaps because I don't store my zonpakuto up my ass like _someone_ I know."

Grabbing his lovers supple assets and locking their hips together, Ichigo used his other hand to grab Arkira's nape and push their lips together for a fierce joining. With little grace, he sent them both tumbling towards the grassy brush, licking and bitting up Akira's neck. Breathing in, the man smelt like blood, sweat, and lust, the intermingling aroma's making Ichigo throb in wanton. "Of course not. You have to reserve your ass for something else," Ichigo growled, rocking their hips in a rhythmic tandem. As they pressed together their bodies, touching the other everywhere in an untamable hunger, Ichigo tired not to recall the last time he made love under a tree with only the stars watching.

Akira pressed a palm onto Ichigo's chest to separate them slightly. As Ichigo leaned back, hovering over the man in question, Akria sat back on his elbows, giving a strange look off into the distance. "Do you feel that?" Akira asked, looking back up to Ichigo.

Now that he was thoroughly enjoying their nighttime actives, he wasn't to intent on being stopped suddenly. Grabbing the man's hardened member through his hamaka, Ichigo watched as Akria leaned his head back and moaned. "I feel this," he whispered.

Despite his obvious pleasure, Akria rolled his eyes and scoffed, pushing the man off of him. "Of course, you don't feel it," he said, jumping up. "You suck at noticing fluctuations in spiritual energy."

"What do you feel?" Ichigo asked.

"Three pressures near the gate, they didn't dip, but they became noticeably muddied." Picking up his sword, he said, "Let's check it out."

Nodding in affirmation, Ichigo agreed, "Right!"

Upon arriving at the gate, the two noticed three gate keepers knocked out cold. "Whah, what happened here?" Ichigo gaped.

"Sleeping kido," Akira responded immediately. "They'll be fine." Stepping to the confines of the gate, Akira pointed into the darkness. "It looks like someone was breaking out. I can't feel any spiritual pressure, but they couldn't have gotten too far."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Ichigo smirked before flash stepping away, Akira at his heels.

It wasn't long before the two flash stepped right past the three energies, stopping about twelve yards in front of the fast approaching stallion. "It doesn't look like their going to stop," Akira noted, sounding rather bored. "Do you wanna or should I?"

Cracking his neck, Ichigo said, "Why not? it's been a while since I did a binding spell. Four or nine?"

"Nine. Try not to kill them, will you?"

Ichigo drew a symbol for the spell in the air, and his body started emitting a red glow. "Geki: Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and then claw out your own throat!" At that, the horse and it's ridders became paralyzed.

Both Akira and Ichigo walked over, and Akira unsheathe his sword as Ichigo dropped the bind. With his sword raised in an offensive state, Akira ridiculed, "Lovely evening for a stroll, right? I was enjoying mine also before you two interrupted. Now, care to get off that horse and tell me whats going on?"

"Please, we'll do what you say, just don't hurt Sana," she urged as the two hopped off the horse.

"Sana?" Ichigo asked, taking notice of the Kuchiki clan crest on the cloaks. Grabbing Sana's forearm and shaking it slightly, the hood of her cloak fell from her face. "Sana? As in the fiancé of Byakuya Kuchiki? Are you leaving him?" He practically yelled, "Are you trying to abandon him?"

Her green eye's seemed to vibrate with hesitation and sadness, making Ichigo let go of her arm at the realization of how angry he just got. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. Now take me back," Sana tutted haughtily, holding her nose high.

"Sana!" Etsu barked, "that's not true!"

"I will not cause Byakuya-san any more trouble," she asserted as she looked back at her lover with a stern glare.

"What are you talking about?" Ichigo asked, exchanging confused looks with his lover.

"It's nothing. Are we going back or not?" Sana asked, her voice snippy.

"No!" Etsu urged, putting her foot down. "I'm grateful for his help, but if you go back and take the blame, you'll be in so much trouble. It's my job to protect _you,_ Sana. Didn't you say you weren't going to waste the second chance that kind nobleman gave us? We're only breaking clan law, not central law, so there's a chance these men will understand and let us pass."

"Second chance?" Ichigo asked more to himself than anyone else. Relaxing his stance, the man smiled subtly. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Put your sword away, Akira." The man looked apprehensive, but did so. "You can tell me what's going on. I'm a friend of Byakuya," he coaxed warmly.

The woman bit her lip nervously, but felt like she had little choice at that point. She also saw kindness in those brown eyes, something she could trust. "I would have never abandoned Byakuya-san! He is my true friend and the man who reunited me with my lover. We both shared these tragic gilded lives, and because of that, we were able to open up to each other. He understood my desire to be more than a nobleman's wife and what it was like to be without your beloved. So he's risking his clan's wrath by setting me up a nice life in the fifth district. Here, if you don't believe me," she held up her wrist, "these are bracelets that hide our spiritual pressure given to us by his beautiful, purple haired companion that aided in our escape."

She went on to tell Ichigo in more detail about Byakuya's plan and what he was telling the elders. Afterwards, Ichigo blinked in shock, just glaring at the woman for a brief moment. Then his chest frothed with a gooey sensation, his whole body warming up as if embraced in the most comforting set of arms. A slow smile crept on Ichigo's face, growing in correlation with the soothing burning of his skin. "Of course he did." He grinned brilliantly at the ground. "I can't say I'm surprised." Looking back up at the two women, he apologized, "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. If you'd like, I could flash step beside you until you get to the fifth, make sure you arrive alright."

"Captain," Akira barked, "I must advise against this. Central law or not, these women are technically the property of aristocratic houses, and if we are found out to have aided in their escape, it will be us who gets in trouble. We should take these women in our custody."

"Are you serious?!" Ichigo baffled, scowling at his partner. "First off, their souls, meaning their no ones property. I don't give a damn about outdated laws that try to control people. Never have, and I won't start tonight. Also, if we take them back, do you realize how much trouble Byakuya will get into for abetting their escape?"

"Have you considered that I'm trying to protect you? My loyalties are to our squad and you, these are my priorities," Akira shot back.

"Or your self," Ichigo scoffed. "Maybe Byakuya being married has some benefits for you, no?"

Akira's pressure flared with a torrid disbelief, and his face lit up like a roman candle, making Ichigo wish he could take the word's back. "Do you really believe me to be so low, that I'd let a petty feeling such a jealously dictate what chooses I make? Do not place your unsettled emotions on me."

"Akira.." Ichigo reached out to touch his arm, "I'm sorry, I sh-"

"No. I think it's clear who _you_ protect. If this is something you have to do, so be it, but I'll be of no help." With that, Akira flash stepped away without any other words, leaving Ichigo feeling frustrated and abashed.

"Damn it," he muttered, clutching his fist.

Sana looked on a bit uneasy. "I'm sorry for causing you and your friend trouble."

"Nah," Ichigo smirked sadly, "it's me and my big mouth."

"Though I'm happy you chose to let us go, I do understand his concern," Etsu said. "When you love someone, protecting them is your top priority. He is right. If you're found out, it could compromise your position."

"I've never been the type of guy who'll sacrifice what I believe in for some meaningless title. That's just not me, he know's that," Ichigo explained, shaking his head. "Anyway, let me help you guys out. I'll flash step beside you and make sure you get there with no trouble."

"Thank you kindly," Sana nodded graciously, taking Etsu's offered hand to leap back upon the horse.

"It's nothing. It's the least I can do for Byakuya after he put himself out like that to make sure you got there safely."

With a rather slow flash, he traveled beside the galloping creature until they arrived at the outskirts of the fifth division. Once they arrived, Sana could see a few cloaked individuals who seemed to jolt from their patiently waiting stances at her presence. "I do believe those are the people Byakuya-san informed of my arrival." Looking to the soul reaper with a smile, she said, "Thank you… Oh, how very rude of me. I never got your name."

"Kurosaki. Kurosaki Ichigo,'" he greeted with a grin.

A breath caught in Sana's throat as she gaped at the man. It wasn't odd to Ichigo. His notoriety meant he often was faced with that baffled expression when he met new people. However, It was her next words that rang curious. "Of course you are. This makes more sense." She smiled warmly. "You are just as Byakuya-san portrayed you, if not better."

"Oh, erm," Ichigo rubbed his nape at that, "I didn't realize he told you about me."

"I said we swoped stories of our great loves, did I not?" Sana couldn't help but giggle at the way Ichigo's face flushed at her words. "Kurosaki-kun, are you still in love with Byakuya-san?"

The man bumbled with his words, tongue tied at the question that had no easy answer. The simplest bare boned answer was transparent. Of course he was. Though it was not something he could easily explain, and his situation was anything but bare boned. "I, well, you know, I'm engaged to Akira, and I c- I mean," he sighed, closing his eyes as both woman giggled at his display.

"I believe that's a yes," Etsu chimed in, perching her chin on the shoulder of Sana.

"I second that," Sana agreed.

"Well, yeah," he chafed, "a part of me always will, but that was a long time ago! Geez, asking a guy such an intimate question, arntcha suppose to be all noble or something?"

"Heh," she snickered, "you really are like a punch in the face." Ichigo didn't get it, but she didn't give him time to inquire. Seeing that the group of people were now walking towards her, Sana stated, "I must be taking my leave, but I would like to ask you just one more favor." At Ichigo's questioning eyes, she beseeched, "Byakuya-san has given me something I can never repay. I'll be indebted to him for all my time, but if only slightly, I think my debt could be payed if you went and spoke with him."

"Uh, I don't know, Sana," he pondered wearily. "I'm getting married really soon, and we haven't even spoken in a-"

"I understand things are complex between the two of you," she noted tenderly. "However, you'd be surprise how many problems are caused by simple miscommunication." With pleading eyes, she implored, "Please, just consider. I know it's a selfish request, but you're the only one who can extend my gratitude."

Ichigo huffed and nodded. "I'll consider it."

Accepting the answer for what it was, both Etsu and Sana said their final partings before they closed the distance between themselves and Byakuya's associates.

Deep in thought, Ichigo waited and watched as they greeted the strangers. After he was sure the two were safe, Ichigo flashed back towards his division with Sana's request running rampant in his mind.

 **xXx**

 **siwon611: Thank you for your review and support. The ending I've came up with is quite different, so I hope you enjoy this too. It's more of a closed ending where you do get that closure, but it still has it's bittersweet qualities.**

 **ByaIchi4LifeXoXoCas: Hey love! Thank you for the review. Don't but your tissues away yet, because this ending will be a tear jerker too. Still, I hope you enjoy it.**

 **cousinittsister: Thank you, love!**

 **clarit: Your comments made me smile! I was going for empathetic. A lot of people seemed to like the way it ended, so I hope you don't feel lackluster about the new ending. I honestly think it's way better, but I guess I'll leave that for you to decide after the next chapter.**

 **Dancing Dusk: I'm glad I could leave you satisfied with the ending despite it being angst. I myself love happy endings, but sometimes my writing just won't allow it. This new ending is still bittersweet, but I think I'll provide you with the closure and happiness you're looking forward. Thank you for the review!**

 **Engkantada1905: Thank you, love! I'll always be a ByaIchi supported. They need more love and more fan fictions, so it's my pleasure. :)**

 **limnamae: I definitely understand the want for a happy ending. If your willing to put up with a little bit more sadness, I think you'll be pleased!**


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey guys, first I want to apologize for the extremely long wait, but this has possibly been the hardest chapter I have ever written since I began posting on this site. This **is the end** , epilogue and all. I'm going to go ahead and let you know that this ending, excluding the epilogue, is pretty damn tragic(depending on your perspective), but I wouldn't change a thing. Honestly, it wrote itself while also tying the ending back to the beginning. Personally, I think it's the most beautiful thing I have written thus far. So please, even when it starts getting really sad, read it till the end. I really think you'll enjoy what you find.

Id also like to point out the importance of Sakura in this chapter. I think Kubo was really intentional when picking out this flower as a representation for Byakuya's powers, as it fits so well with his personality. Sakura, in Japan, represent the hopefulness of new life and the humbleness to accept death. Hence why the sakura are withering at the beginning of this chapter and blooming at the end.

Thank you for everyone who commented on this story and for everyone one who suffered through my crappy grammar and subpar style that is super evident in the beginning chapters(One day I'm going to go back and rework all the chapters and add brand new ones to extend the plot. So, technically, this isn't really the end) I usually respond to your wonderful comments at the bottom, however I am in a rush to get this up before work. Please let me know what you think. I hope to see you soon.

~ Ashes

 **Goodnight, My Moonlight**

 **xXx**

Byakuya stepped outside onto his deck, and through the darkness, he noted how the sakura blossoms were just starting to wither. Tentatively, he placed a palm against his bandaged head. The wound was now healed completely, but he still felt dizzy from time to time.

After his staged assault, he endured the rage of not only his family, but Sana's. This resulted in an hour long scolding from both parties, and he was sure his reprieve would only last until the morning. Fury and disappointment were evident, but Byakuya couldn't find it in him to care. If anything, he struggled to keep a hint of a smile from his face. Sana would be happy now, free, no longer under the thumbs of those who cared nothing of her happiness. As for Byakuya, that was enough.

He looked towards the moon, full and radiant, and as usual, his thoughts drifted towards Ichigo. Since Getsu meant moon, even looking at the celestial body triggered memories of their brief yet life altering love affiar. That was okay, because in the solitude of his mind, nothing could stand in between the bond they had created.

Somewhat sadly, he thought, ' _I wonder if Ichigo is looking at this moon?'_

"Sana was nice," a voice said, breaking Byakuya from his riviera with a jolt.

He look up to see the moon lit figure of Ichigo leaning crossed armed against the opening of a sliding door, his gaze interrupted by chin length locks. Byakuya blinked a few times in puzzlement, wondering if he had finally lost it. He wanted to reach out and touch the wind tussled hair of Ichigo. He wanted to test this reality, to make sure he was not some love induced apparition, but he clenched his hand to avoid such an unceremonious display.

Usually, the man wore his hair up in a short pony tail type due, and a few rebellious strands would normally disrupt his features. Seeing it so liberated made Byakuya's fingertips tingle at the memory of running his hands through Ichigo's hair.

Seconds felt like hours as he took in his lost lover. He was sure that Ichigo was a ghost or a figment mere seconds away from vaporizing, belonging only to Byakuya's lonely imagination.

"I did not sense you coming," he said, feeling imbecilic at the worthless, poorly thought out comment.

While looking towards the moon, Ichigo chuckled bitterly. He turned his sharp gaze towards Byakuya, and god, the noble had missed those eyes being directed towards him. "We haven't had a real conversation in a whole decade, and that's what you say to me?" Studying the noble's expression, Ichigo admittedly wanted to smile at how blatantly phased the typically passive man looked. "I guess I didn't except to startle you so easily…"

Byakuya preened his uniform in an attempt to regain his composure. "What should I say?"

Ichigo shrugged a shoulder and said, "I don't know. Your run away bride asked me to come here, so you tell me."

Obviously confused, Byakuya netted his brow at the man. "Your paths crossed with Sana?"

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah. Akira and me were on our way back from a spar with Renji when Arkia noted a fluctuation in spiritual pressure near the gate. When we checked it out, we found Sana and her girlfriend." Ichigo looked away with a wistful gleam dancing across his eyes. "She told us what you did for her, and I helped her get to the fifth district. When I left, she told me to come and talk to you as a way to extend her thanks."

Byakuya sank into pools of disappointment. Of course, Ichigo didn't come of his own volition. His petty hope was an unforgiving anchor that pulled him under. "Your second in command has a rather high spiritual awareness if he was able to sense such a fluctuation without being in the direct permitter."

Again, Byakuya was unsure of why he said that. He wasn't sure of anything really.

Ichigo nodded and turned his glare back to the scenery. He had this serious look that seemed to meet nothing, and Byakuya wondered what sat so heavily behind those eyes.

"I'm going to leave Akira."

Byakuya froze, or maybe it was time, but he could hear anything but those words repeating over and over again. Perhaps he really was dreaming.

"Why?" he asked.

Ichigo looked towards the man with a deep scowl, as if he was frustrated with needing to explain.

"I'm here, that's why."

Seeing Byakuya didn't understand, he scoffed exspectantly. "I thought it was just different, that things would grow between us, but here I am, doing the same old shit." He gave a self loathing chuckle. "The moment Sana asked, I already knew I'd be ruining back here to you." A sadness laced his voice as he whispered, "I can't do this to him, because if it was the other way around, if he was still in love with someone else while planning to marry me, I think I'd hate him for not giving me the chance to find someone who could return my love. I just wish it didn't take me so long to figure that out."

"I really fucked up with him, and now I'm here, and I'm not even sure why." Raking a hand through his hair, Ichigo said, "Sana said something about a misunderstanding."

His eye diverted, and Byakuya wanted to pull them back.

"She said you still loved me… I never really thought you stopped, but I don't see how that changes anyth-"

Ichigo was cut off by the feeling of a warm tongue plundering the confines of his mouth and soft lips pressing against his own with a purpose. Sakura consumed him like a warm embrace, and all he could taste was the ginger flavored humidity of Byakuya's breath and a deep sensation of longing while a hand held tightly to his hair from the roots, vacuum sealing their lips.

On Ichigo's part, like it was purely muscle memmory, he fell right back into Byakuya's touch without hesitation. His hands remembered all the correct places to caress and ways to move, and they did so frantically. Their bodies were desperate, undernourished, and seeking satisfaction in the form of lapping tongues and wondering hands. They plunged and savored, kissing, licking and nibbling at ever patch of skin the other's face and neck had to offer, letting their hands instinctually graze each others body. Ichigo's whimper like moan soared into the nobleman's mouth and fluttered like butterfly wings in his chest cavity, making Byakuya pull them closer together.

They reluctantly broke apart and supported their foreheads against each others, filling the minuet space with heavy pants.

Byakuya grabbed the man's chin, and internally, he vowed to never let go again. "Didn't I tell you not to let anyone else touch your body this way unless they make you feel as I do."

"What is this, Byakuya?" He asked, "Is this just you losing your will again?"

"No. This is me finding my will." He ran a thumb over Ichigo's lips. That coarseness, that scent, the press of their hands together, it was all the same. This wasn't a dream. On the contrary, Byakuya had never felt so awake. "I should've asked you ten years ago, but if I'm not too late, I want you to be mine." When Ichigo's face widened, Byakuya asked, "Have I missed my oppu-"

It was Byakuya's turn to be cut off by Ichigo's answering lips, lips that both scolded and comforted.

"Idiot," Ichigo admonished through bruising kisses, "I've always been yours."

So much wasted time stood between them, and they needed so much more to abolish it. Skin to skin, pulse to pulse, they needed to feel it all. Ichigo's lips teased the hollow of Byakuya's collar bone, and he ran his nose up skin of the nobleman's neck in an indulgent track, as if he was attempting to imprint Byakuya's scent to memory. Byakuya craned his head back to allow Ichigo more reign, and Ichigo took full advantage, dragging his lips against every inch of the noble's blushed and pulsating neck. "Kami… I love the way you smell, 'Kuya."

Ichigo cupped Byakuya's cheek. Only, sitting on his finger was a reminder of their mistakes, and it burned Byakuya to the touch. The jewel mocked them with it's arduous labor, like a stack of paperwork that you just didn't want to start, but you knew had to be completed if you could continue your day with any sense of peace.

Byakuya kissed Ichigo's palm just atop the ring, the warmth of his lips acting as a silent affirmation of their next steps.

Ichigo clenched his hand. He didn't realize something so little could feel so heavy.

"And I have missed the way you taste, Ichigo." Licking his lips, he placed Ichigo's palm on his cheek. "Let me taste more?"

Ichigo nodded to confirm he understood. "I have to handle something, and then you can taste whatever you want."

Byakuya nuzzled his cheek against the palm cupping it and said, "I'll be here when you return."

With one last glance at his lover, Ichigo bit his lip and kissed Byakuya once more

"I-I can't continue anymore until-"

"I know," Ichigo said just above a whisper. "I just missed that. I'll be back soon. I need an hour at most."

Byakuya nodded. "Go."

 **xXx**

When Ichigo entered his living quarters, he found Akira sitting on the ledge of a window seal with his knees pulled up to his chest and a cup of tea in his hands. He stared aimlessly into the darkness of their division courtyard, and something about him looked so cold.

"Akira…" Ichigo said as he took controlled steps towards the man. "You're still up."

The man sipped his tea and talked only to the moon. "Of course, I am. I knew we'd have things to talk about."

Guilt claimed Ichigo's words as he opened his mouth to speak. He didn't even know where to start. How do you break someones heart? How do you tell a person they were just a stepping stone in someone else's love story? There were somethings you just couldn't train for.

Akira deserved more than this. He deserved more than feeble apologizes and tear filled tea cups. He deserved a love that was as full and boundless as the sky. He deserved his years back, his time and efforts, but all Ichigo could give him was goodbye.

"Yeah, we do," Ichigo said. The silence that sat suspended between them seemed to make the room darker if at all possible. They both existed as blurred silhouettes, barely perceivable to each other, and Ichigo wondered if they had always been that way, as if, from the very beginning, they were destined to end up in this room together. To each other, they were always just shadows of themselves.

Just as he found the courage to speak again, Akira said, "I wish you would just get this over with."

"Get what over with?"

The sound of his tea cup clanking against the seal and a few sniffling tears echoed through the room. "I guess I always knew this would happen, I just didn't want to believe it. It's as much my fault for buying into this fairy tail when I knew it was doomed from the beginning."

"You know then?" Ichigo asked, wondereing why everything sounded so loud except their voices. They spoke only in utterances.

Akria let lose a wet, ironic chuckle before bestowing Ichigo with emerald eyes tainted by betrayal and desolation.

"Dear, you reek of sakura, and I can fell his pressure lingering all over you." Blinking in repetition, a few stray tears strolled down his cheeks. "His hands have touched you all over."

Ichigo felt every bit of Akira's disgust as if it was his own. Perhaps because it was. It a novice mistake, and completely human of him, but it was also one he wasn't sure was ever avoidable, because if he had've know what he was doing was wrong, he would've never hurt Akira intentionally. That was the point of this all, wasn't it? He died before even realizing what it meant to be in love. He was still learning, stumbling for each wobbly step. Now he understood that loving someone wasn't just a feeling, but a skill.

Now he also understood what it meant to break a person for mercy.

"I'm guessing you came here to rid yourself of me so you can be with him without guilt. That's fine, but please, end this farce quickly. I do not wish to draw this out."

"Akira, I never meant for it to be this way…I…" That was it. It felt as if there should be more to say. Ichigo wanted more to say, but that was it. His one pathetic truth, how meaningless it sounded.

"The sad part is, I know that's true," Akria said. "You probably didn't even realize what you were doing."

With tiny steps, Ichigo came closer. The moon threatened to expose his tears. "Don't," Akira said, "…just, could you please leave? I know this is your place, but I'm assuming you'll be retuning to him… and I need to gather my things. I just…need some time."

Through the dark, Ichigo stared helplessly. This didn't feel right, going off to live happily with Byakuya while leaving Akira alone with an anguish he caused. It was unfair and made Ichigo feel a vibrant loneliness for the man.

If this was a cliche love story, Akira would be portrayed as the bad guy, jealous or abusive, maybe some variation of both to make it seem okay that he was abandoned, nothing but the coldness of his solitude of keep him company. It would feel justified, and the pain would sting less, but there were no bad guys in this story, just three men who underestimated the complexity of love.

All that was left was the acceptance of that unsettled guilt and of the things he could not change. All that was left was to walk away.

He sat the ring on a nearby table, and the sound reverberate louder than anything he'd ever heard. That was what the death of a bond sounded like.

"I know this doesn't make it any better… but I…I had already decided when he kissed me, when I kissed him back. I just want you to know that my decision wasn't because of him, but because I didn't want to hurt you anymore."

When only silence followed, Ichigo reached out for the door and took his leave.

With only the darkness the hold him, Akira surrender his sorrow to the shadows.

 **xXx**

Ichigo chose to shower in the squad barracks and changed into a yutaka he kept in his office before he headed back towards Byakuya's estate. Guilt clung to him like a bad stench, but no amount of scrubbing would cleanse him of that.

Upon his return, the sight of Byakuya sitting gracefully on his haunches in the middle of a futon made Ichigo's breaths heavier. His plum nighttime yutaka covered him loosely and gave way to patches of sendal smooth ivory skin, skin lavished by falling strands of raven that escaped the hold of two wooden hairpins he wore. Suddenly, every bit of somber remorse he had became worth it. It was such a small payment to be the only eyes privileged to this side of Byakuya.

This part of Byakuya belonged only to Ichigo.

There was no denying that Byakuya Kuchiki was a work of art, a whole lustrous landscape. In every part of him, there was something new to explore. There were the hills of soft muscles that canvased his supple frame. His curves, oh how they dipped and arched like valleys. In those heavy slate eyes, one could get lost as they did in a blizzard. Then there were the scents and taste that exuded from the noble. They were so divine that it was as if the gods made their wine exclusively from the flavors plucked from Byakuya's vineyard. Even more magnetizing was the virility of the noble's powers and how they hummed around him like a song of redemption. In Byakuya's nature, there was such a rawness, and Ichigo desired to explore every inch of his wilderness once more, feast upon every holy fruit his limbs had to offer.

They stared quietly for a long time, enjoying to simple act of observation. Finally, from his kosodo, Ichigo pulled out two argent hairpins and preceded to pull up his hair also.

"You kept them after all this time?"

"Of course," Ichigo said as he wrapped hair along the adornments. When the noble regarded him with mild shock, Ichigo's eyes cut him through the darkness. "We've spent enough time apart. This isn't the time to be coy, Byakuya. They were always with me, even when I couldn't wear them."

"They look stunning on you," Byakuya said, appraising the man with dreamy eyes, "better than I imagined."

"Did you imagine me a lot?" Ichigo asked, taking slow, deliberate steps towards the futon.

"All the time."

Bit by bit, Ichigo ran fingers across the cloth of his obi, pulling at the fabric in a teasing manner. "There's no need to use your imagination anymore, because I'm right here. The real thing is always better anyway," he said as the wrap slipped from the tips of his fingers and dropped to the floor.

Byakuya bit his lip as he admired the excruciatingly slow display, and rolled his eyes over the perfection that was Ichigo's sculpted body, taking in everything. He looked the same. He was the same, only with the sexual prowess of a confident man. There was no sign of the innocence Ichigo once held, and that both saddened and excited Byakua.

He could practically taste the man already, and his mouth salivated with a hunger. "I believe I'll have to test this theory, which we can only do by enacting each fantasy one… by… one," Byakuya said, his lips twisting into a playful smirk.

The seduction of Byakuya's words made Ichigo's toes curl in excitement, yet he took his time, gradually removing his yutaka and opening himself up for the attentive eyes of his lover.

"That sounds like it could take a long time. We better get started right away."

"If you are vigilant, I have no doubt that we'll complete the task tonight."

Ichigo stared Byakuya down as if daring him to look away, but the noble didn't flinch. He placed both thumb in the waist band of his hamaka and smoothly drifted the fingers to his hips. With a smirk, he paused his seductive shedding.

"Hey, Byakuya, you've stopped being stubborn." Ichigo felt parched from this anticipation. "Do ya know what that means?"

A heat painted Byakuya's skin at the thought as he recalled Ichigo's resolute declaration made all those years ago. This was the first time anyone would ever be inside of him.

Instead of focusing on the heat exposing his bashfulness, Byakuya followed the lines of Ichigo's figure, admiring the perfect geometry of it all. He reveled in the idea of trailings those lower abdominal cuts straight to Ichigo's harden loins. He was sure his eyes were screaming with impatience.

"It mean's you have a promise to keep, and you are a man of your word, Kurosaki Ichigo, right?"

Ichigo's eye's glazed over, and his mouth went dry at a ruddy and bordering on sexually timid Byakuya. The rare sight made Ichigo's cock twitch with a need to make the noble lose control. He wanted to devour his screams.

It had been too long, so painfully long. So long that he could no longer hold out. He made his way to the futon without words, and Byakuya met him with the same eagerness, leaning forward on his knees. Byakuya placed soft kisses on Ichigo's abdomen and dipped a tongue into his navel while ridding his lover of the impeding hakama. He took Ichigo into his mouth, and they both moaned in instant gratification. There was so much relief in their little grunts and whines, like the alleviation one felt when they sat down after a long day on their feet. Only Byakuya and Ichigo had been on their feet for ten years, and at Byakuya's meticulous applications, they could feel the pain slowly draining from their worn forms.

Ichigo craned his head back and allowed Byakuya reign over his pleasure. He placed an encouraging hand on Byakuya's head, but he did not attempt to guide the man's movements. Certainly, a talent like Byakuya needed no help. So he just enjoyed the symphony of slurps playing at his ears, and when he came so intensely into his lovers awaiting mouth, Ichigo had to brace himself, lest he crumble from euphoria. He felt both broken down and reborn in the light of Byakuya's touch.

Byakuya intertwined their fingers and pulled Ichigo back with him. As he hovered over his lover, Ichigo almost didn't know where to start. There was too much to sample, and it was all his. Byakuya was all his.

One thing was for sure, tonight he would make Byakuya dance. They'd tango with the sheets, get lost to the rhythm of their racing hearts, and by morning light, there wouldn't be a singled move they hadn't preformed.

From bruised lip to inflamed lions, muscles and tendons were circumnavigated with the pointed ends of a hair stick as if they were trying to map each others bodies, because this was more than sex. It was an exploration. Together, they traversed each other's bodies, gauging it's capabilities and testing it's limits. They lingered every where, taking their time in this erotic expedition, and when Ichigo began his preparation, even that was done with the thoroughness of a treasure hunter. Oil dripped from the tips of Ichigo's fingers, trickling down Byakuya's body until his back arched, pleading for further contact, and Ichigo just watched, both curious and encapsulated by lust. When their bodies finally met, Ichigo felt as if he discovered the core of Byakuya's universe. In that soft warmness laid his greatest riches, and Ichigo probed deeply, thrusting, diving, until he could get no deeper, but it was never enough. He was chasing that high, only wanting to be swallowed up by Byakuya until he was consumed with the ecstasy that was joining with his lover. This love, if just for tonight, he wanted it to eat him alive.

 **xXx**

Byakuya woke up swaddled in warmth. His eye's cracked and were met by rays of light filtering through the paper doors of his quarters. Everything seemed brighter, and the day felt a bit lighter than the morning prior. Colors held an unforeseen vibrancy, and he swore his bed had been replaced by a mound of plush and feathers. He shifted against the body spooning his and sank deeper into the shelter of strong arms. Byakuya felt creamy, and for passing moments, nothing existed outside of that hold.

They were castaways content with seclusion, and this futon was their island. They felt safe from all they'd have to face.

Ichigo's fingers drifted idly over one of Byakuya's arms, and Byakuya could feel the admiration of honey eyes on him. He smiled subtly. "Will this be recurring, you staring holes into me?"

Ichigo shifted and snorted right into his lover's ear. His voice was laced with sleepiness. "Like I'd stare at you, it's not like you're beautiful or anything."

"You're a horrible liar, Ichigo, among other things."

"Yeah, what other things?"

Byakuya turned into Ichigo's hold and rested his head underneath the pointed chin of his lover. "Warm," he said with a sigh.

Ichigo huffed and tightened their embrace. "So that's why you keep me around, huh? I see how it is."

"Do not discredit yourself, Ichigo. I also keep you for your above par love making skills."

Ichigo smirked as he rolled Byakuya onto his back and landed on top of him. "Then I better keep my skills sharp," he said, pushing himself into his still lose lover.

They fell into a barrage of sloppy kisses and gyrating hips all over again. Byakuya wrapped his legs around Ichigo's waist, rising his hips to meet the enthusiastic applications of his lover. Deep inside of him, he could feel Ichigo's cock twitch against his prostate, and Byakuya moaned out for more, clawing at his lovers back as if to express this need. Ichigo read the signals of Byakuya's body perfectly, as he lifted the legs of his lover around his neck and began to pump faster and with much more depth than before. Unable to control his groans of intense satisfaction, Byakuya used the back of his palm to muffle the sounds, much to Ichigo's displeasure.

He removed Byakuya's stymie hand and held both wrist hostage above his head. "Don't you dare. I want to hear you scream for me, Byakuya."

And scream he did. He was still so wet and raw from the night before, and Ichigo was so forceful In his lustful drive that it couldn't be contained.

They moved faster, their sweaty, pique bodies slipping against each other, causing perfect friction. Byakuya was dripping with Ichigo's many release from the night before, but he wanted more. He wanted to be filled again, overcame by Ichigo's warmth. How he went his who life without this was unimaginable.

Somehow he managed to remove himself from Ichigo's grasp and take the upper position. Grinding circles on Ichigo's cock, he looked down at the man and said, "Perhaps it is I who will make you scream, Ichigo."

Ichigo smirked at his lover and gently pulled him down by the chin, bringing him in for a bout of finishing kisses.

They climaxed in tandem, and it was delicious, more satisfying than any breakfast could ever be. Once finished, they landed side by side back in each others arms. Byakuya felt a certain unfamiliar bareness, and all his words hid from his tongue. It was both uncomfortable and wonderful at the same time.

As the noble lazily drew circles on Ichigo's back with the tip of his finger, Ichigo said, "You look like you want to say something."

"I am afraid I may ruin this by speaking."

Ichigo smirked. "You're probably right." When Byakuya tutted in disapproval, he said, "This isn't just some dream, Byakuya. This is real."

"I believe that is what terrifies me," Byakuya said, ingraining the feeling of Ichigo's hair to memory as he kneaded the unruly stands between two fingers.

"Not everything that makes you happy will be taken away," Ichigo said before he brushed his lips again Byakuya's sweetly. "And if someone tries to take this away, we'll fight for it."

Byakuya perked an amused brow. "And Kurosaki Ichigo never losses a fight, yes?"

"Hey, I even got you, eventually."

Byakuya smiled with his eyes and said, "We must get up and face the day."

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Ichigo said with a tiny groan.

"We have all the time in the world to languish away in bed, but we have responsibilities that must be attended."

"Yeah, I know," Ichigo said as he got to his feet. "All my friends and family are showing up today. I have to explain why there won't be a wedding. " He scoffed and ran a hand over his exasperated face. "That's going to be a fun conversation." He turned around at the feeling of comforting lips pressing against the back of his shoulder.

"If you would like, I'd be willing to do this with you after my clan meeting."

Ichigo perked an eyebrow. "You'd actually deal with my crazy family?"

"If I am with you, I do not get to pick an choose the most desirable parts, Ichigo. Furthermore," he said, cutting his eyes away briefly, "this is partially my fault."

"No. Trust me, theres enough blame to go around for everyone, but the Akira situation was my screw up," he said, slumping his shoulders.

Byakuya claimed Ichigo's hand and kissed his palm. "It is one bad day, one of which we'll get through together."

Wrapping his arms around Byakuya, he brought his mouth up the his lovers flushed lob and whispered, "I think I'm liking this positive Byakuya."

"Then come shower with him, yes?" Byakuya asked, peppering kisses up and down his lovers extended neck.

Ichigo bit his lip at the temptation of his nude and willing lover tantalizing him with soft touches. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you wanted us to be late.

Smirking lips pressed against Ichigo's jawline. "You have foiled my plans, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo grabbed Byakuya's hand and guided them towards the bathing quarters. "Foiled? Nah, I think I'm aiding them."

 **xXx**

Ichigo strolled through the streets near his barracks deep in thought. Byakuya and himself agreed that the noble would meet him at his house to deal with the semantics of wedding cancellations together, but Ichigo was staring to wonder if it be better dealt with alone. Not only did Ichigo not want to subjugate Byakuya to the awkwardness that would be explaining his and Akira's separation, but the two had just reunited. So drunk off their mutual affection they were, the two may have been seeing things through careless eyes. Maybe they should've been moving slower, but Ichigo didn't know how to do things half heartedly, especially not when it came to Byakuya. He was a rush in head first kind've man, and they'd been wistfully in love with each other for over a decade, so it wasn't as if they needed to test the waters. What existed between them, it was an all or nothing type romance. It always had been. They demanded that of each other. Only now, instead of nothing, it was all.

Truth be told, Ichigo felt a sense of liberation as he walked with the Kuchiki hairpins in place. The cloak he shrouded his heart in had been removed, and it now thumbed freely, no longer muffled by secret desires. It was an amazing feeling. He was weightless.

When he opened the door to his living quarters, what Ichigo saw made him halt in disbelief. He considered that his residual guilt was playing tricks on his eyes, because his mind didn't want to believe it. On the floor, prone, ashen, and dreadfully still, laid Akira.

Panic pushed right through Ichigo's state of denial, and he rushed towards the man. He dropped to his knees, taking in the form of his ex lover.

Akira was a ghost, lips painted blue as if he'd been kissing death. Not a sound resonated from him. He was filled with nothing, just a cold vessel. Ichigo panicked and called out his name. He didn't know what to do. It was obvious the man was long gone, but he began administering C.P.R anyway, unable to accept the ghoulish reality. He called for help, shouting helplessly before he attempted give Akira's lungs air that they just wouldn't take.

Over and over he did this until everything began to spin.

 **xXx**

It was ironic that the last day of Byakuya's life was the one of which he felt the fullest. Ichigo was simply his last meal before he was delivered from this world by the equitable hands of death. Death was not sentient. It didn't take life subjectively. It was a force that manifested in everyones life, catalyzed by the choices they made. It was an inevitable consequences that could only be suspended for so long, and that was if you were lucky. Byakuya had been luckier than most men, and if he had made the most of that luck, perhaps he would have kept death at bay for just a bit longer.

His luck dwindled. He spent it as if it was endless like his wealth, but eventually, it withered and faded. Now, at the end of it all, his life was like an unkempt garden, a grave yard for dead flowers. But just for one singular moment, those flowers vibrated against the soil as if a new sprout would be born from their slow decay, as if rejecting death.

It had bee too late. The hope of growth was a happy illusion, or perhaps a gimps, a gimps of what he could be if only he'd stop watering dead flowers. He could pluck them from their roots, scatter the corpses, and from their fallen bodies, more life could grow. He just had to give up on these, dead, dead flowers.

It all started the morning after his first and last night with Ichigo. He was meeting with the elders, and the sun peeked just above the tree line like the crowning head of a new born. Everyone talked about a moment of sudden onset clairvoyance when you're approaching the end of your life, like you just knew, and maybe for some people they could feel the force of death's attraction pulling them under, but for Byakuya, he had been so magnatized by the idea of being alive and happy with Ichigo that he let his guard down. He couldn't even sense death, because how could anything contend with the vitality of being in love?

It didn't matter, because by this point, it was too late to change anything.

"Byakuya-san, we have some terrible news," the clan elder said, his eyes reflecting the flickering candles that gave vigil to the councils grim expressions. "Sana's family, as you know, were suspicious about your accounts of what happened, so they utilized one of their privet spies to watch your actions." When Byakuya's face blanched, and his throat visibly tightened, the elder said, "I suppose I do not have to tell you what they found or how bad this looks, Byakuya-san?"

Nodding his head, Byakuya said, "You are right. What actions are they going to take?"

"They believe you had Sana murdered to be with your lover. They want your head," he said bluntly, "and they want a war between our clans if it means getting it. Perhaps I can convince them that your removal into isolation would be best, but unless you can offer us some knowledge of Sana's whereabouts, there will be no easy way out of this predicament."

"My story regarding Sana will stay the same, but I hope the members of this counsel know me well enough to believe me when I say that I did nothing to hurt her," Byakuya said, his fingers twitching compulsively.

"It is not our place to say if we believe you or not, but to stand by you. Whatever decision you make, we shall support it." He waved his hand in dismissal and said, "Leave now and consider your options. We shall reconvene later."

For a moment, Byakuya couldn't move his feet. He had been frozen by shock, but somehow, he ended up outside of the elder's meeting hall without even recalling the journey.

He considered his options as he slowly walked towards Ichigo's. He knew what the old Byakuya would do. It was as clear as the rapidly approaching fall. He'd sacrifice himself for his clan sake, and truthfully, he was wondering if that was still the right thing to do.

This was his fault. If he hadn't of ran away from love like a fearful child, this would've never happened. He couldn't allow the samurais of his clan to take the brunt of his bad choices, but at the same time, he couldn't make this decision without Ichigo. Not this time.

What his lover had said to him that morning stirred freshly inside of him, that they'd face the worst of this world together. So after over a decade of making choices that effect both him and Ichigo without giving consideration to Ichigo's feelings on the matter, he couldn't make that same mistake.

When he arrived at Ichigo's, it still hadn't completely hit him. He had just reunited with his love, and in an instant, that could all be erased once more. The reality of it was coursing through his blood, gradually making it's way to every organ until he had no choice the face the enviable. No matter what, nothing would be the same again. He stood in front of the door blankly, blinking at the wood. Right there in that moment, all he wanted was to see Ichigo's shinning face and not think about the possibility of losing it, losing him.

After what seemed like a century, he opened the door.

Throngs of people filled the small quarters. It was bulging, and Byakuya blinked in surprise. He knew people would be here, but not _this_ many.

Over fifteen pairs of pain drenched eyes looked towards him as he entered, as if to explain themselves without words. All of Ichigo's friends and family, Rukia and Renji, Urahara and Yoruichi, pluse, for some reason, members of the fourth division. The air was somber, and the only noise was the sound of whimpering tears. The only light was what little sun filtered in through the cracks in the curtains, and like billows of smoke, a thickness rolled over everyone's spiritual pressure, making it hard too see, burning at the eyes.

He knew it. Something terrible happening had occurred here. It stained the room and everyone in it like blood, reeked to the senses. This place was a haunted house.

"Where is Ichigo?" Byakuya asked. He didn't have to. Deep inside, he already knew, but he needed to here it.

Rukia looked at him with wide eyes. Tears jiving in them, almost like a death dance. "Nii-sama… Ichigo… Ichigo… he's…" That was all she could manage before turning her face back into Renji's embrace. When Byakuya looked to him for answers, his eyes swayed away.

"Byakuya," Yourichi said, coming to stand in front of them. Her face looked both hard and soft, and Byakuya didn't know what to do with that. "Listen, you've heard of the kido infused poison pills that soul reapers would take with them on especially dangerous missions, right?"

"Of course. In case they're to get caught by an enemy. It is to avoid torture."

"Yeah," she said breathlessly, smiling hugely. Although there was nothing happy about it. It looked wrong on her. "And you know only kido masters can make them because of how it has been misused in the past. It's very effective. If even a tiny amount is ingested, it's automatic death."

Byakuya leered in confusion. "Yes… but I don't understand."

"Akira-san took some last night… and what we think happened…what we think happened…" She dipped her head, and her fist shook uncontrollably by her sides. "Ichigo tried to give him C.P.R…and he, well…" She looked up to him, her eyes shimmering in apology for the words she couldn't bring herself to say. "He was wearing hairpins. The ones that Hisana use to wear. You two… were you…" Her question faded. It was redundant at this point.

"…Nonsense," Byakuya said definitively. "Ichigo could not hav- He simply couldn't be gone."

He looked around at the people in the room. All of their wet and porous faces were missing the spark of life, like corpuses cradled by arms of snow.

"Nonsense," he repeated before pushing past a sea of limp shoulders. When he reached the back of the room, he stopped dead at the sight of two white tarps draped over a pair of still figures. One had a crown of orange thicket's poking out. It seemed all too colorful in such a gray room.

Everything changed. Time seemed to be moving in reverse, and Byakuya could only hear arbitrary sounds, like the buzzing of a fly or the way his zanpakuto moved against his hip. All around him, everything was gray. Gray people, gray tears, and a grey room. The only color was that horrible white and that beautiful orange. Byakuya had fallen from one reality into another. He sank through a pit of hot, sticky gray lava.

It was eroding his bones. That's why he fell to his knees. He had disintegrated.

Slowly, his hand pulled at the sheet. He wouldn't believe it until it met his eyes. This was the stuff of wise tales. It was a monster under the bed. Byakuya knew it had to be imaginary, because he didn't believe in a world without Kurosaki Ichigo.

But then there it was, written all over Ichigo's motionless face. His cheeks were still dusted with a slight flush, and his body was still warm to the touch. There was a softness to his every feature. Byakuya wanted to say he was just sleeping. He wanted to shake him awake and tell him what a cruel joke this was, but his Ichigo made little throaty sounds when he slept, or every so often, he'd mumble some gibberish. His Ichigo's nose would twitch, and to Byakuya's dismay, his body could never settle, even at rest. He wanted to tell Ichigo he'd never be bothered by his restlessness again if only he'd just move! He wanted to tell all these people they we're wrong. They didn't know what Ichigo had promised him just earlier that day, that they'd fight through everything together! So badly, he wanted to tell them, but he couldn't.

Years of cold logic and militant self imposed discipline stole away his hysterical denial. It stole everything, hit the panic switch, shutting him down without Byakuyas consent. He was a husk that sensed nothing, felt nothing, who was nothing. Even when he picked up Ichigo's hand and kissed the palm, it felt like he was doing all this through someone else's body. He was slipping, dispersing into the fog of his surroundings until he was nothing but hazy gray.

When he later resurfaced, there were no bodies, but the fog persisted.

There was no crowd, just Rukia and Renji. They were speaking, but their voices sounded so far away. They seemed so far way, eclipsed by gloom, yet they were almost close enough to touch.

"What's going on?" Byakuya asked. His voice, It seemed so low that he wondered if they could possibly make out the words, but the pair turned immediately. Their faces were wide and pinched, and they looked like abstract versions of themselves. They looked like macabre caricatures.

They spoke, and he responded, but Byakuya couldn't make out what he or they were saying. He was on auto polite. The other him, the him created and cultivated by years upon year of emotional restraint under the Kuchiki regimen, stood in his place.

They walked and talked, glided through the static of Seireitei. Immediately, there was a funeral. While others engaged in this sudden and surreal moment of mourning, Byakuya felt nothing. These were just instances, jarring, nothing linear about them, and Byakuya couldn't help but to both love and hate the Kuchiki blood that ran through his veins, the way it forced him into disassociation. It stole his sadness. It stole his grief.

Seconds, hours, days, Byakuya wasn't sure, had passed, and he was in his sleeping chambers. Ichigo was gone, but his scent was still stuck to everything Byakuya possessed, even his own skin. Byakuya was sure the smell would persist through time. He'd never belong to himself again, but to his intangible lover, to the remnants of Ichigo that even death could not destroy.

He felt it, the moment earth's axil started rotating in reverse. Ichigo's scent, it made everything move in a sickly spiral. His world was teetering upon a spinning top.

His knees buckled, unable to hold the weight of his self restraint any longer. The gravity of a life without Ichigo, it outgrew him, pinned him to the ground. He ended up on the floor, face soaked and tears clawing at his throat. A loud indiscernible blackness spilled from his lips. It filled the room until he was left there, alone, submerged by this dark abyss of sorrow There would never be light again

 **xXx**

When he woke a few hours later, there was the briefest moment of blissful ignorance. A transitory confusion. His body creaked and shivered, cold and aching from the hold of the hard floor he'd slept upon. His face was swollen. He could tell by the way just looking through his eyes felt like lifting boulders. Cannons were going off in his head.

Then it hit him. Realization stole the peace of his puzzlement, and a pain that originated in his heart seeped into everything.

His legs carried him as far as the toilet in his bathing quarters. He retched up his despair, but no matter what came out of him, he knew this was a poison that could not be purged. He would feel it's effects everyday. He'd be awoken by the chilling hand of sorrow every morning. It would be in the food that he ate, in the conversations that he had, and in every face he looked at. It would cling to him like a shadow.

He sat silently on the floor, folded up in a corner. He was a sad mess of a man, sweat glistened and bedraggled, closing his eyes as if to reject this reality. But he knew he couldn't. His bones were a prison cell. His life was the terror. There was no escaping. All he could do was sit there and hope time would stop, and so he did. Not even his sense of self preservation was able to swoop in and save him. Not this time.

It wasn't until an attendant knocked at his door to tell him of Rukia's presence that Byakuya was able to find some vestige of sanity.

He splashed cold water on his face, brushed his frumpy hair, and put on a clean yutaka. He did this all with great exertion, forcing movements into limbs that felt atrophic with sorrow.

It was amazing how a person's minds could be afflicted, but they could still move through their day, feigning normal as if life was just one string of theatrical performances. He had done this his whole life, but he was starting to think it was time to close the curtain and leave the stage.

You see, this was worse than Hisana in so many ways. Not only had he lost Ichigo and, at best, lost his position as head of his clan, but it was all his fault. Every single choice he had made was a stepping stone towards his own destruction. If only he had followed the path that his heart so blatantly plotted for him, there would've never been an Akira or a Sana. He would've never lost his position, and Ichigo would've never lost his life. In the end, he really was the one to kill Kurosaki Ichigo. He did so with the one thing stronger than his blade; his love.

How do you go on living in a world full of nothing but self induced consequences and regrets? How does a person even breath in a place like that?

Thats when Byakuya realized, you don't. Or, at lest, you don't have to.

He walked out into the foyer and saw Rukia. Her whole body looked heavier, and the air around her sagged. Still, he knew she would be fine. She had a husband, a division, friends, things in this life worth living for. She was strong, much stronger than him.

"Nii-sama…" she said, and the title sat un-rushed between them, tired. Simple words, they felt exasperating.

"Rukia, how are you?"

"As good as can be expected." She looked up to him with red eyes, eyes that matched his own. "I was worried about you. Earlier, at the funeral, you didn't seem…. well, you didn't seem right. It was as if you were held together, but you didn't seem really _there_."

No more performing. "Truthfully, I was not. I believe I was in some sort've shock."

At first, Rukia said nothing. She didn't know what to do with such honesty. Finally, she nodded slightly and asked, "Nii-sama, I think I know what happened, but I need to be sure. You and Ichigo, you two were…"

"Yes," Byakuya said without hesitation, and the veracity of his words caused tears to run down Rukia's cheeks.

"I am so sorry," she said, eyes wailing like a siren.

"Do not apologize to me. I do not deserve such sentiments."

She looked as if she wanted to contest, but something in her knew better. She simply nodded again. "When we saw the hairpins and how he wasn't wearing his ring, we all put it together. Akira, he killed himself when Ichigo left him… and… and… well, you know the rest."

Byakuya closed his eyes and took deep, deliberate breaths. Ichigo's death took with it half of Byakuya's breathable oxygen, and he could not survive like that. Such a pitifully depleted air supply would not suffice the pumping of his heart. "Yes, I do."

"I know this might not help," she said, coming closer step by tiny step, "but it's been something that I keep things about. Something that makes it easier." When Byakuya prompted her with a perked brow, she continued, "When Ichigo first came to Soul Society for good, he felt like he lost all of his chances to live a normal life. Well, now," she stammered on, tears grasping at her throat in a vice, "he has that chance. The chance for a normal life."

Byakuya eyes widened at that. The words reached down and touched some morsel of happiness that still lived inside of him. "Yes," he said, a subtle smile coming to his lips. "That does help. Thank you, Rukia."

Rukia suddenly threw herself into his arms, morphing their mutual grief into one palpable act of affection. When she let go, she looked up to Byakuya with a fragile smile. "Please take care of yourself, Nii-sama. I'm here if you need me. You really shouldn't go through this alone."

"I will," he said, nodding her off.

As he felt her presence leave the estate, Byakuya thought, _'You are the only person who could make me reconsider, but I am sorry, it is not enough this time.'_

 **xXx**

Byakuya sat on his deck, allowing tendrils of wind to caress him with their sweet springtime scent. Peace had found him, and with that, he was able to enjoy the beautiful things that he'd leave behind. Looking out into his garden, he said goodbye.

Arms wrapped around his neck, and he leaned into the comforting chest of his life time companion.

"I am proud of you," Senbonzakura whispered in his ear.

Byakuya tilted his head, only to be met with the bare face of his zanpokuto. "Is that so?"

"I can feel that there is still doubt in you."

Byakuya slid his fingers across the arms that held him. Thoughtfully, he drew circles on the skin. "I am not a man to run away."

"I do not think that is what you're doing. At least, not wholly. It would be a lie to say that you're not escaping the pain of this life for another, but pain, my dear Byakuya, that is where you are the most comfortable." Senbonzakura gently ran his fingers through the black silk of Byakuya's hair, and when he spoke, his voice was like a lullaby. "In fact, living out of fear with no concern for how that fear effects the others around you is selfish in it's own way. You are neither completely selfish nor selfless. You are both running away and running towards something. Life is full of contradictions, but what matters is that you are not making a decision out of fear. You are learning."

Byakuya sunk deeper into his sword spirit. His whole body was numbly content. "Your clan could go to war if you did not chose to offer your life up as repentance. Many would die, all for your consequences. Samurais, to us, there is a great honor in death and choosing how one dies. That is what the sakura represents for us, is it not? The humbleness of death?"

"Yes."

"Yes, so you will die, Byakuya, but there is an honor in that, and it is only in body, but not soul. You will be reincarnated and live once more. You see, you have exerted your chances. Living out of fear, you have ended up right where you wanted to be, isolated, but it is not how empty or full your cup is that really matters. What matters is that your cup is refillable. You are choosing that, choosing the great unknown. That is a frighting journey to embark on.

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, smiling softly, "beautifully so."

 **xXx**

His execution was set for dawn, but for one more night, he was still Byakuya Kuchiki. He was still the man who was lucky enough to know Kurosaki Ichigo, to claim Ichigo as his love. For one more night, that man existed, and Byakuya would pay tribute to him.

First, he lit a candle for Hisana. Then he left a note on Rukia's division desk that simply read, _'I am proud of you.'_ Finally, he had built up the courage to say his last goodbye. It was always the hardest ones that we saved till the end.

Ichigo's barrack had been untouched. He wondered how long it would stay like this, if this room would become a museum of Ichigo's legacy. Only Byakuya knew better. It was not material items that would preserve Ichigo for all the time to come, but the people of which his memories lived inside.

On Ichigo's futon laid his captain haori. Usually, captains were buried in them, but in the shock of Ichigo's passing, it had been forgotten. Byakuya knelt down beside the futon and picked up the garment. He held it close, reveling in the scent that marked it as Ichigo's. Desperately, he clung to it. This one last thing, it tethered him to this life.

"Ichigo," he spoke aloud, "If you could speak to me, I am certain you would try to change my mind. You were so determined to save every life that you didn't realize that sometimes all there was left to do was walk away." He paused, caressing the fabric in his hands with wistful touches. "That was what made you so beautiful. I know you would worry about Rukia, but she is strong. Yes, she will be devastated, but she has everything to live for. She will be fine without me."

"Senbonzakura was right. I will never be a completely selfish nor a selfless man, and I will always sacrifice something, because that is the essence of life. To get you must give. But for once, I am not acting out of fear. I am not running away, because yes, a life without you is a miserable one at best, but I have built an island out of sorrow." Warm tears pooled in Byakuya's eyes, and he allowed them to fall freely. They stained the haori in his arms, and Byakuya thought that when morning came, this would be the only evidence that their love ever existed. "I do not fear sorrow. I could live in that familiar pain, brimming with gratitude that I got to keep the memory of our short time together. No," Byakuya continued, his tears rapidly turning into broken sobs, "I fear a world where you never existed. To me, giving up our memories, that is both my greatest sacrifice and my biggest fear, but I will do it, because you taught me that the possibility of happiness is worth risking everything for."

"I am sorry," he whispered. "With my death, I am taking with me all proof that we ever loved at all, and I despise that, because you were the most beautiful thing about me. Our moments together, they were short and complicated, but those instances, please understand that they were my greatest accomplishments… It is hard to not grieve for all things we will never have in this life. There were so many things I wanted to tell you, explanations I wanted you to hear. I looked forward to all the things I would share with you that I had kept only to myself for so long, but do not fret, my love. In our last night together, a life time passed between us. Every beautiful thing we could've had was real and possible in that moment. In that moment, there was marriage and children and growing old. A future filled with possibilities, we had it all for the briefest of time, and that was more than I could ever ask for."

His tears became muted, calmer, and all around him was a silence. It was the type of silence that had a sound of it's own. "When I die and am eventually reborn, I will not be the man that I am now. However, a soul retains certain integral aspects from one life to the next. In my next, I will never let fear control me. I will find you, no matter how many reincarnation cycles it takes, and I will love you as you deserve. So this is not my goodbye to you, Ichigo. This is simply goodnight."

Byakuya could've stayed there talking to Ichigo's memory for hours, clutching to a future that would never be, forever stuck in a loop of reflection that would amount to nothing but pain. Or he could get to his feet and proudly move towards a world of new and frightening possibilities.

He inhaled Ichigo's scent one last time before placing the haori back on the futon. Then he stood up and walked towards the exit. When he reached the door, he slid it open and looked behind him one last time.

"Goodnight, my Moonlight."

 **The boy who waited in the rain.**

 **Epilogue**

 **xXx**

 _ **Twenty five years later.**_

" _Oh shit!"_

 _Haruko sprinted as fast as his wobbly, overexerted legs would take him when he began to feel the moister of rain droplets hit his face and noted billows of gray clouds rolling in, signaling an impending thunderstorm. The young man had just made it through his first shift as a full fledge veterinarian without looking completely stupid or mistakenly killing someones family pet, and now he had a hot date with some green tea, soba, and his favorite book. Of course, only after he allowed his shower to lavish him in it's alleviating attention._

 _On the way to the train station, as luck would have it, rain started to pour. He couldn't help but to gripe inwardly. Now he wouldn't just smell of dog, but of wet dog. When it really started to get bad, he took shelter under a Japanese BBQ shop's overhang, stealing the warmth and aroma that emitted out of the restaurant's doors. It only made him yearn deeply for the smells and comforts that his own flat had to offer._

 _Unruly orange locks hung damply over his intense honey eyes, making beads of water catch in his lashes. He blinked a few times, causing the drops to trail along his peach, sun kissed skin before he wiped the wetness away with the palm of his hands He looked down at his watch and realized his train would be leaving soon, meaning he'd be late for his long awaited date. He wasn't one to keep his bath and sweat pants waiting._

 _Through the onslaught, he looked off into the direction of his destination, taking note that it was barely within his scope of vision, yet not far away at all. His eyes floated to a proud yet whimsical sakura tree, and he found himself smiling faintly. It almost eluded him in the midst of new job mayhem that spring had finally given way, but the thriving blossoms were always an indication. He loved spring. That lively blush that filled the streets of Japan, floating aimlessly in the zephyr and tickling the earth with it's humbling breath of life, it felt like new beginnings. It was only perfected by the rain washing away the impurities of days past._

 _Pulling Haruko from his day dreaming was the ache of an old scar on his chest. It wasn't exactly a scar, but a birthmark that looked oddly similar to a knife wound. He actually had two, one on his chest and one on the directly opposite side of his back. His grandmother once told him that birthmarks were indicative to past lives and could be signs of the way people had died or something integral to that life, as if the scar was a manifestation of a souls extreme emotional attachment towards a moment. Haruko always laughed at the thought. It seemed fitting for him to have expired from a blade. He supposed he was even a punk in his past lives too, always causing trouble. Not that he really believed any of that crap. It was all mubo jumbo, voodoo, folk lore to him. Still, if it were true, he had a feeling that the scar was attached to something good, because he often rubbed it compulsively through his shirt when he was nervous, finding that it relaxed him immensely._

 _Not wanting to take any chances with missing his train, he decided to make a run for it. He took off his backpack followed by his jacket. Then he put his backpack back on and held the jacket over his head as he ran towards the station, dodging puddles and pedestrians on the way._

 _Once he was nearing the landing station and was out of the rain, he slung his jacket over his shoulder and kept running at a decent speed. Typical of his clumsy self, he felt himself trip, over what he was unsure of. Knowing him, it was probably over the air. Fully expecting his face to have a more intimate relationship with the concert flooring, he closed his eyes and braced himself, only to be surprised by a pair of strong arms wrapping around him protectively, sharing their blood curdling warmth._

 _A spine tingling baritone filled his ear, making his scar sear intensely._

" _You're slow, even when your falling."_

 _When Haruko opened his eyes, he had to blink a few times and swallow down a dry lump. He wasn't all too sure if it was an angel he was looking at or a devil, because it must've been a sin to be this breathtakingly beautiful. For a moment, he took in the striking features and all they had to offer. He looked so soft to the touch with his Ivory skin that seemed as if it would feel of sendal and shoulder length hair that fell across his face like black spun silk. He had a roman nose that looked of nobility and a prominent jaw line that alluded to his dominance. Mixed with deeply hooded coal orbs - hypnotic and surprisingly expressive - and full cherry blossom colored lips, the man was a splendid mosaic of feminine and masculine features._

 _From the hard press of that lithe torso against his, however, the stranger was certainly all male._

 _A breath caught, and he was sure his face flushed, but once his faculties and senses caught up to his reeling head, he registered the man's words and his own humiliation._

" _What the hell does that mean?" Haruko gathered himself out side of the man's arms with a deep scowl, and he stepped back, putting distance between himself and the man who, if even for just a moment, rendered him impenetrable to all stimulus expect that devilishly angelic face._

 _The stranger ever so slightly tilted his head in curiosity, and the smallest of coltish smiles crept onto his face. It was subtle, just barely noticeable, but he seemed pleased at what he discovered in Haruko's disposition._

" _I saw you running," he explained, "and you were rather slow."_

 _Haruko was unsure if this man was trying to be funny or if he was really just a prick, but his expression looked rather charmed despite only a whisper of a smile pulling at the crevices of his lips._

" _Oh yeah? Damn, I guess I'll have to give up my dream of being a track star now." He tutted at the man who seemed unfazed by his flustered sarcasm. "What, are you the reason I tripped? Maybe so you could try out that awful pick up line?._

 _The stranger's face went slack, bordering on indifferent, but when he spoke, everything he said held this playfully arrogant air to it. "I assure you, you needed no help from me. You did a superb job at tripping over your own feet. Also, I do not use pick up lines." A flash of a smirk graced his face, and his velvety voice became heady with implications. "Nor do I need them."_

 _Flustered and completely caught off guard by this enigmatic man, foxily held and eloquently spoken, seemingly as controlled and deliberate as the steps of a refined dancer, Haruko was sure this stranger was an incubus sent to seduce him into hell. Either way, he scuffed off, scoffing as he did so._

 _Cocky bastard," he murmured as he slid by the stranger, only sparring one aslant glance as he did so._

" _Um, excuse me, sir, do you perhaps feel a little lighter?" Haruko's back taunted at the teasing tonality, and he came to a halt. "What?" he snapped as he turned back to the man. That's when he saw the stranger knelt down on one knee, gathering his backpack and a book that had fallen out with prudent hands._

 _Harku was whirling in his own embarrassment. How worked up did he have to be that he didn't even notice the lack of twenty plus pounds on his back?_

 _With a soft smile, the stranger held out the backpack and then the book. "You like Sylvia Plath, I see" he noted, looking at the book of poetry and then back to the beautiful shads of crimson offsetting Haruko's scowling face._

" _Yeah, and I see you have eyes, captain obvious," he remarked, snatching the book away._

 _The stranger once again gave him a tentative tilt of the head. "Are you always this obtuse, or is it only to men you find your self attracted to?_

 _Haruko's face looked like a firework, brilliantly bright and open. His poor mouth grappled for words, sputtering adorably. "I-wh-I- I am not! What would make you say something like that?!"_

 _Smirking, the stranger reasoned, "For starters, you're blushing wonderfully. I'm not sure what I fine more endearing, your scowl or that innocent tint of red." Taking note that Haruko's sneer looked no closer to fading, the man chuckled lightly. "Let's start over, shall we? I did not mean to embarrass you."_

 _Haruko softened slightly at the tender words, and he muttered, "Yeah, you kinda come on strong." Sighing, he rubbed at his scar and put on a lop sided grin. "But I guess I can be a pain in the ass myself, heh."_

 _The stranger wore his own momentary blush at the heart throbbing smile of the other man, full of dashing boyish charm. Haruko out stretched his hand and said, "I'm Amachi Haruko."_

" _Amachi Haruko," he echoed, smiling affectionally as he picked up the hand in his own and bowed. "Sun child of the heavens, it's fitting." In an act of chivalry, he went to press a chaste kiss on the others hand right above the knuckles, but surprised even himself when he carefully tilted the hand and pressed his lips softly against the palm._

 _Haruko's blush returned with a vengeance and he found himself to shocked to yank his hand away. Hs whole body fluttered, and his birthmark was burning a hole into him at the feeling of petal soft lips twitching against his skin._

 _The stranger felt undone by the intimacy of just that one shallow joining, and he cleared his throat in hopes of seeming more put together than he felt. "Im Takehiko_ _Kokugatsu. It is a pleasure to meet you."_

 _Gripping his hand that tingled delightfully from Kokugatsu's warm pressure, he compulsively touched it to his mark. It somehow made the burning stop, and he couldn't help but to wonder how Kokugatsu's lips would feel pressed against the scar. Smirking, he said, "Talk about fitting. Your name means warrior prince of the black moon, and with the way you talk, dress, and kiss peoples hands, you'd think you're royalty or something."_

" _Hardly. I'm simply a gentleman and a gardner." Remembering the smooth hands that felt as if they had never done a hard days work in their lives, Haruko felt bad for his assumptions. More than likely, the man wore gloves while he gardened, which would explain the perfectly unmarked skin yet the speckles of dirt underneath his manicure nails. "I own my own nursery, actually."_

 _Haruko noted the man's pristinely fashionable outfit, and he couldn't help a bit of teasing. "I was going to say, those are some expensive work overalls."_

 _Now it as Kokugatsu's turn to ponder if the other was attempting to be funny or was plainly judgmental. He frowned marginally and tutted, "I'm only dressed like this because I was at a meeting. However, I'll have you know, theres nothing wrong with having money. The more that I have in my cup, the more I can put in others."_

 _The moderately indignant reaction returned Haruko's breezier disposition. He chuckled at the behavior he found oddly endearing. "I was just messing with you, but I'm glad to know I can get under your skin too." The raven colored at his words, and Haruko thought that the sight of the others steely face flushed and abashed was something he could get use to. "I'm a vet, and my goal is to one day make enough money to open a clinic of my own. Trust me, I get it."_

" _Hm, they say the purity of someone's soul can be gauged in how they treat animals," Kokugatsu mused, a merger smile pulling at his lips. Haruko liked it. He liked how undoubtedly genuine the expression felt, as if this man wasted no smile._

" _Maybe," Haruko rebutted, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know how pure I am though," he said with a chuckle, "since I can treat people pretty rudely at times, as you just saw."_

" _People are often overrated," the gardener poised, a sparkle of mesmerization blooming in his eyes._

" _Hence why I'm a vet. I don't know," he found himself explaining for no particular reason, "I grew up with a disabled sister, and a lot of people gave her a hard time. So I learned early on that the world is full of ass holes. I guess that's why I'm pretty defensive with everyone. It helped with protecting her."_

 _At first, Haruko felt embarrassed by the probability that he had overshared. He never did that, not with someone he had just met, but this guy, he had this gravity about him, an effortless pull that drew Haruko from his shell. However, when he looked at Kokugatsu and saw nothing but a warmth and a hopeless intrigue sitting plainly in his eyes, Haruko's face shied away. "It is true that many people are disappointments waiting to happen." The gray of his eyes became as soft and vibrant as the petals of a sakura tree, and Haruko found himself hopping that they weren't as perishable. He found himself wanting to keep them. "However, I think, in the rarest of occasions, we meet people who are worth all that trouble. Rather they love you kindly or break you beautifully, in the end, nothing about knowing them could ever disappoint."_

 _Haruko felt suddenly deprived of something as he stared at Kokugatsu through kaleidoscope covered eyes. He was splendidly abstract. There were no defined edges to this man, not yet, but in him was the promise of something beautiful at every new glance_

 _He was sure he stared for longer than socially appropriate, however, Kokugatsu stared back, and somehow what was considered acceptable didn't matter._

" _Amachi Haruko, would you do me the honor of allowing me to take you on a date?"_

 _How many times would this man make Haruko feel out breath today? He turned nervous eyes to his shoes and reminded himself to steady his breathing. "A date? Why would you want to do that?"_

 _Kokugatsu placed the pads of two fingertips under Haruko's chin to tilt his face upward, and Hurko wondered why this man so brazenly touched him, as if it just knew it was welcomed. Haruko didn't particularly like being touched, but when it was Kokugatsu, it felt as if those hands were right where they belonged._

" _Why would I not?" The gardner burrowed his intrigued gaze into honey eyes. "I'm certain that I'd be missing out on something grand if I did not express my interest. I'm unsure of why, but something pulls me towards you."_

 _Haruko's inquisitive glare was now just as astringent. "You do seem kind've familiar," he muttered._

 _Smiling and removing his fingers, Kokugatsu speculated, "Perhaps we knew each other in a past life."_

 _Haruko snorted in humored ridicule, thinking this guy sounded just like his grandmother. "Yeah, and I bet we were sword fighting samurais too."_

 _Casually shrugging a shoulder, the gardener rebutted, "Stranger things have happened." When Haruko chewed at his lips, Kokugatsu asked, "Can I take your lip bitting as a yes, Amachi Haruko?"_

" _Only if you call me just Haruko," Haruko said, smiling lightly._

" _I believe this is a stipulation I can live with."_

" _So," the vet murmured, gripping nervously against the back of his neck, "Uh, when do you wanna, ya know, go out?"_

 _Devilishly, the raven smirked at the question. "As they say, there is no time like the present."_

" _Now?" Haruko gaped, "Why the rush?"_

" _If I am being honest, I have this uncanny feeling that I've missed you before," the gardner explained. "Maybe it is something as simple as us walking past each other on the street without notice, but it nags at me, this sensation that we've slipped passed each other before." His furrow brow relaxed as he went on. "I understand that I may be coming on strong, and this is not my usual way, but something about you entrances me. I am a man who follows my gut, and it is telling me that you are a possibility that may not come around in this life."_

 _There were people in Haruko's life that he instantly clicked with from the moment they met, as if there was something integral to the people they were that made them more inclined to a life long friendship. Although it was rare, it was something that had happened on several occasions, an experience that most people have had at least once or twice in their lives. This, however, felt like chemistry on drugs, Truly a once in a life time type encounter. Haruko never actually believed in destined meetings or once in a life time type anything, but Kokugatsu was turning him into a believer._

 _The gardeners words could be easily degraded to a smooth, Shakespearian type pick up line, and maybe they were, and maybe Haruko was just falling for cheep tricks and a pretty face, but Kokugatsu's words almost perfectly mirrored the way Haruko felt, and he thought something like that was worth all the possible ways it could end badly._

" _I mean, I already had a pretty hot date with some soba and my bed. So, I don't know.." Haruko said, smirking playfully._

 _Kokugatsu brushed a stand of damp hair off of Haruko's eyelid. "I believe they'll understand you having to reschedule," he said. "I do believe I'm slightly more entertaining than soba, but I shall let you be the judge of that."_

 _Haruko shuttered, and his eye's floated over to his now bordered train leaving the station. "Oh look." He grinned and took a step forward. "I missed my train. I guess I have no choice but to go with you."_

" _Oh dear," the gardener deadpanned, "you must be so disappointed."_

" _Very," Haruko quipped as an uncontainable smile brightened his face._

 _Haruko shivered a bit from the wetness of his clothes, and Kokugatsu took off his own jacket and wrapped in around the vet's shoulders. When Haruko muttered a nervous thanks, Kokugatsu gestured out a hand and directed the man back towards the stairwell. "Shall we?"_

 _The young man nodded, using one hand to hold the jacket and the other to tickle at his scar._

" _I notice you touch your chest often. Is there a reason?"_

" _It's just a habit I have. Theres a birthmark on my chest and a matching one between the shoulders. It actually kind've looks like an entrance and exit wound of a weapon. Anyway, I guess touching it always relaxed me."_

 _The bewildered stare he received had Haruko wondering what he could have said wrong, but the soft smile that finally greeted him took away any trepidation. "That's odd, I, too, have a birthmark that resembles a wound." Smirking, he leaned in and whispered, "It seems as if my past life theory is gaining more ground."_

" _Because thats so much more logical than a mere coincidence," the vet taunted lightheartedly. "Where are we going, anyway? I'm expecting something awesome for giving up food and slumming it in wet clothes."_

" _I figured I could show you my nursery fist," the gardner suggested. "I have something much dryer you could change into."_

 _Haruko gave the man a dubious glare. Hesitantly, he said, "Okay..but If you do anything weird or happen to actually be a serial killer, and you try burying me in that garden of yours, I'm a third degree black belt, and if you take me out, I'm least taking one of your limb with me."_

 _With complete seriousness, the gardner remarked, "I would never do such a thing. At least not in the garden, you'd make awful fertilizer for my tomatoes."_

 _Haruko chuckled nervously and put on an apprehensive smile. "You scare me, Kokugatsu. The way you joke with such a hard face, I can't be sure if you're serious or not."_

 _Kokugatsu chuckled dryly as they approached the stairwell. Turning to the man, he intertwined their hands, as if it was something they did all the time. "Do not fret, we have plenty of time to figure out each others quirks. As for my nursery, there are many employees there during this time of the day, so you don't have to feel nervous. Perhaps, after you dry off, we can even make time for some of this soba that you crave. There's a shop by my shop."_

 _As the two acceded the stairs, Haruko felt the radiant rays of the sun wash over his face. Stopping under a sakura tree, Haruko looked up at the blossoms dripping water droplets with a pleasant appreciation, enjoying the manner of which the moist petals caught the light. "Look, the rain stopped."_

 _Smiling at the sunbathed face of Haruko, Kokugatsu thought of all the possibilities that existed between them. He didn't know what the future held for them, but for the first time in a long time, he felt genuinely excited about the uncertainty, because within that plethora of possibilities lived the chance of something amazing. "Yes, it seems it has."_


End file.
